Chapter 18
Lila
The scent of slick and arousal wakes me up as I roll over in my bed. My fingers are sticky and crusted from where I must have touched myself in the night. Groaning, I flop my arm over my head and try to take shallow breaths.
Even now, I can still smell him. The scent of his precum fills my lungs with each breath. But that's insane. I've washed every inch of me. I even have new clothes. How can I still smell him?
Thankfully, my stomach growls, diverting my mind to safer things. Forcing myself out of bed, I tiptoe over to the adjoining bathroom and peek in. Just me. Even with his door ajar, I can tell he's not in there.
Just as well. I don't want to really see him again. Not after last night. Not after the humiliation and rejection between us. Closing his door, I lock both and wash my hands. It helps get rid of some of the smell, but not all of it.
I know we have to get going, but I can't stomach coming downstairs smelling like sex and regret. Stepping into the shower, I sigh as the warm water loosens up my muscles. Just as I get the shampoo in my hair, a loud knock rattles his side of the door.
"Hurry up, Lila," he barks out. "We're going to be late."
"Tough," I shout back. "For some reason, I felt the need for another shower. Now why could that be?"
His snarl is all I need for an answer. Good. At least we're both out of sorts. It won't be just me then. As much as I want to take my time and scrub every inch again, I know I'll have to face him sooner or later.
My heart slams in my chest as I turn off the water and wrap the towel around me. I unlock his door just in case he needs in. What I don't expect, however, is for him to wrench it open the moment I do.
A startled squeak slips through my lips as he storms inside, glaring at me the whole time.
"What's your fucking problem?" I snap out. "It's not like I'm soaking or something."
He holds up his phone and shows me the time. "If you wanted to shower, then you should have gotten up earlier."
My insides clench as I behold his Alpha fury. It's a thing of lust and decadence. I want to revel in it, to roll around in the spice of his anger. It vibrates under my skin like a hum only I can hear.
Crossing my arms, I do my best to shove the inappropriate thoughts away. He doesn't deserve my kindness. Not after last night. Not after what happened between us.
"You're not the boss of me," I snap. "You don't order me around."
"Why?" he seethes. "Because I'm not paying for it anymore?"
I open my mouth to answer, but he storms out of the room before I can even hope to articulate a word.
"Downstairs in five."
"Yes, Sir," I yell out, matching his drill sergeant attitude.
I expect him to keep going downstairs, but he doesn't. Instead, he whirls back inside and stalks forward, forcing me to go back until the doorknob jams into my spine.
"What did you say?" he growls.
The bravado slinks away only to be replaced with hot, needy, pathetic want. "You heard me," I whimper as arousal slickens my thighs.
Shit. My clit throbs as everything becomes hot and sticky. Whatever happened to standing up to him, to keeping myself infuriated so I can forget how fucking sexy he is? Blinking up into his fierce stare, I find myself lost in his eyes. Those hazel eyes that now glitter a deep, deadly green.
There's something there, something I can't fully define, but it calls to me, mirroring the storm I'm feeling in my very soul. Why won't he kiss me? Why won't he just give in? More to the point, why don't I?
Reaching out, I rest my hand on his chest, but he pulls away as if my touch burns him.
It stings, slicing into my very soul. The pain is good though, needed.
It allows me to get my head out of my ass and remember who and what he is.
I shove at him, moving his bulk enough so I can open my door and slip inside.
"You can't run from me, Little Lily," he rasps from behind the door. "Sooner or later, you'll have to come down to the car. Don't want to worry your father, do you?"
No. The absolute last thing I want is Dad getting involved in any of this. He's already in too much of my business. This is between Nate and me.
The last thing I want to do is draw any more undue attention to me or my body.
Digging down into one of my lesser-used drawers, I pull out a plain sports bra and a set of underwear.
Nothing fancy, nothing to entice—plain and boring.
On top of that, I grab an old but comfortable sweatshirt and a pair of well-worn sweatpants.
He can't say I'm trying to seduce him now. Yet, as I stumble down the stairs, his nostrils flare as his eyes darken. There's no way he finds this alluring. I don't even have curves in this outfit.
Shoving past him, I make sure to jab my shoulder into his chest, knocking him back before he gathers himself and stands still. The look on his face could kill, but I know he won't. Piss on me again? Maybe. But kill me? Not likely.
"We're running late, Lila," he growls, snagging my dad's attention.
He frowns and looks at his watch, then back at us. "She has time to grab a muffin or two. Linda will be heartbroken if there's several left. Here." He grabs a container and shoves most of them inside. "Snacks for the road. Be safe! Good luck hunting."
Unable to stall any longer, I take the muffins and follow Nate out to the car. Each slam of the car door jolts through me, setting me on edge. I just want to get this over with. The sooner we get a place, the sooner I can focus on packing and ignore his smug fucking face.
We drive in silence as I stare out over the frozen land. The sun just barely peeks out above the clouds as others drive to work. On any other day, it would be serene. But it's not. Every breath, every sigh feels fraught with unsaid words and unspoken regret.
The tension fills the car so thickly, I can barely breathe. We can't keep this up. Something's got to give. Pulling out my music pod, I connect it to the car and press play. Loud thumping sounds pour through the space, lightening my mood until Nate yanks it out.
"Turn that trash off."
Stunned, I simply blink at him. "You can't be serious."
"Oh, I am. It's rubbish, and I don't want to hear it."
"Wow. Didn't realize that twenty-seven was old man territory. Color me surprised. I guess the military aged you, huh?"
He grits his teeth so hard the small muscles in his jaw pop. "No. I just don't enjoy hearing pop music at a volume so loud I'm sure they hear it on the space station."
"And what would you be listening to then? Cool jazz? Talk radio?"
"Well, if you want to know." It's his turn to plug something in. Soon, an odd, droning voice fills the car. "Podcasts. Educational and relaxing."
"Boring is more like it." I reach out and take his cord away and put mine in instead. "At least this will help keep us awake on the drive."
He yanks out the cord. "Or we could just sit in silence."
"Or," I counter as I stick it back in, "you could yank the stick out of your ass and loosen up a little."
With a soft growl that turns my insides to mush, he pulls it out again. "If anyone has something up their ass, I'm sure it's you. Order any more sex toys lately?"
I shove it in again. "You tell me. Have you been jacking off to my purchases lately?"
Another yank. "Put yourself in danger anytime soon?"
"Fucking pissed on anyone?"
"That's it!" he roars as he sits up in the seat and scours the road.
What he's looking for, I don't even have a clue. It's not until he finally jerks the car over in a secluded spot that I worry about how I tormented him. Why else would he take me where no one else can see?
Turning in his seat, he undoes his belt and snarls as he looms over me. "I did that to teach you a lesson."
"And what lesson was I supposed to learn? That my brother's a pervert?"
"Step," he hisses. "Aren't you the one always saying that? Aren't you the one always correcting me, showing the massive distinction? Why stop now? Scared?"
"Of you?" I breathe as my body trembles. "N- never."
"Such a bad little liar," he murmurs as his hands clench into fists at his sides. "Such a dangerous game you're playing right now. I hope you're prepared for the consequences."
"You're just pissed that you didn't get off last night," I spit back as a thread of fear mixed with a whole hell of a lot of exhilaration and adrenaline floods my system.
"And what makes you think I didn't? Hmm?" His eyes darken as he leans in closer. "What makes you think I didn't jack myself off? Hell. What makes you think I didn't just go fuck another omega?"
I try to keep the hurt out of my voice, but I can't keep it from piercing my heart. "Did you?"
"No, damn it," he roars. "I was too busy watching you get off in your sleep.
I fucking came on your bedroom floor. Is that what you want to hear?
Do you want me to tell you all the filthy ways I've imagined taking you?
Fucking that sweet, little innocent cunt until you're ruined for every other Alpha out there? "
"Well, I—"
"Shut up. Just fucking shut up."
Before I can say another word, he lunges forward and slides his hand in my hair to fist it, holding me in place. His lips descend in a crushing kiss. This isn't gentle. It isn't sweet.
Teeth clack together as he forces his lips against mine. His mouth presses hard against me, punishing, bruising, owning completely. As I gasp, he takes full advantage and slips his tongue in, fucking my mouth like he wants to fuck me.
A groan vibrates through my throat as I arch into him, inhibited by the seatbelt. I push away long enough to wrench it off before melting into his arms again. The hot, spicy scent of his arousal slips into my lungs and fills every breath until I find that I'm ravenous.
His hands skim my breasts, hot and insistent, drawing out a pained whine from my throat. I'm soaked. I'm fucking leaking slick into my panties with each illicit touch, each growl that demands submission.
"Fuck, Lila," he groans against my mouth. "I can't stop. I won't fucking stop."
"Don't," I cry out as I arch into him. "Please. I can't take this anymore."
As he lowers his hand down to my pussy, I moan and roll my hips up, desperate for his touch. A loud sound shatters the silence, punctuating the haze of lust surrounding us.
"Shit," he curses under his breath as he pulls himself off of me.
"Is it the base?" I murmur as unease drips down my spine.
He gives a hard shake of his head as he answers the phone. "Hey, Robert. What's up?"
Fuck. My dad. Even worse.