Chapter 24
Nate
The gentle sound of her sloshing about in the bathtub causes my cock to stir as I finish lighting the last candle.
Something so mundane shouldn't be getting me so hard, and yet here I am, struggling not to stroke myself while Lila relaxes.
The whole moment is so intimate, so erotically charged in a very simple, primal way.
Before, the adjoining bathroom was more of a barrier between us. Yes, we had access to each other, but there was an unspoken rule. Now, it's ours—shared, combined. Not his at one point and hers at the next.
A soft smile slides up my lips as I walk into the room that was supposed to be hers until we revealed the true nature of our relationship.
There's not much in here, but then, it's not as if she really collects or hoards things.
As I gather her clothes and put them into the dressers in the primary bedroom, I let my mind wander.
Before now, I had never thought about the future. It was always the immediate present. Anything else, and you could get killed or cause someone else to die. Now, with Lila so close to being mine, there's so much more I have to consider.
The line of work I do is dangerous. There's no doubt about that.
Thankfully, with this new promotion and ordered move, I'll be in more of a teaching role as opposed to always hands-on.
Of course, they'll need me when emergencies arise, but a Space Force base like Buckley isn't exactly crawling with live calls.
In some twisted way, it's as if fate cleared the path for this, for us. Sentimental or not, it's the only thing I can think of. If it were some base bunny I was falling for, it would be different. They know and understand the risks of being with someone in uniform.
Lila does not.
At least she's never talked much about it. There's always the chance I'll be deployed again, and then what? Do I force her to move? Do I make her leave school? Do I leave her behind?
A possessive snarl catches at my throat as I move the last of her things into our room. No way in hell I leave her anywhere. Thankfully, with the way technology keeps evolving, I don't see why she couldn't continue her studies online.
Either way, it's a conversation that needs to happen. It certainly needs to take place before I claim her. Once the bond is firmly in place, she will no longer have a say.
Sexually, that's exactly how I like it. Thankfully, she does too. But in things like this? In things that could potentially change her whole life? I'd much rather she be enthusiastically on board as opposed to begrudgingly going along with it.
The military life isn't for everyone. I see the strain it causes in couples. I've held the shattered widows of friends who've died both in combat and in exercises gone wrong. It's a life that should be chosen, not forced.
Besides, every day I'm there, I will always run the risk of being called, of being the one to render a threat safe, to diffuse a situation I might not come back from. Lila needs to know this. She deserves to know this.
Selfish as I am, I can't let this continue without her knowing the truth. The whole truth. God help me if she rejects me now.
For the first time since I can remember, I'm nervous as I approach the bathroom door.
I'm never nervous. Put a bomb in front of me?
I can neutralize it in record time. List a bunch of chemicals?
I can tell you the exact quantities needed to make it dangerous, ineffective, or an expensive solvent or cleaner.
Even when we found the cache of mortar shells beneath the construction zone, I never flinched. I did my duty. I recorded which were live, detonated them, and carried on to the next. I never questioned anything. I never overthought it. I just did. I just acted. Instinct.
Now, instinct tells me nothing. I have no training manual for this.
There's no instructor watching from behind the glass, no checklist taped to the wall, no calm voice telling me I've got thirty seconds left before this goes sideways.
There's no way for me to prepare, to train in a safe way.
No scenarios I can run until I get it right, get it perfect.
It's all me. It's all her. And I dread the outcome. I dread her refusing me more than I fear death itself.
It's stalling, I know, but I can't help shifting the candles around and making sure the bed is just how I want it for Lila's first time. My cock grows thick and heavy as I look at the ropes, inspecting them one last time.
Glancing out the window, I stare into the night sky. Darkness has fully descended, casting the room in flickering intimacy. No sign of life. No one to look in on us. Just a mass of black where it meets the tips of the trees.
An Alpha can breathe here. Be free here. I only wish I could stay long enough to maybe own it. To buy it outright and make it mine.
Shaking my head, I turn toward the bathroom and make my way across the floor. I can't keep stalling. I need to face this head-on.
When I slide inside, Lila looks up at me, practically drowning in bubbles. It's the tension break I need. Shucking off my clothes, I stand before her in all my nakedness, allowing her to admire me for a moment before I motion for her to slide forward.
The massive tub is finally one big enough to stretch out in. But then, it makes sense. Every inch of this house looks made to accommodate an Alpha. It's not some generic building to get the job done.
A loud groan vibrates through my chest as I sink into the water and pull Lila on top of me. I can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be at this moment. Her soft skin glides against mine, fitting into me, nestling above me as if made just for me.
"I wasn't expecting company," she giggles. "I would have used a lot fewer bubbles."
"It's perfectly fine," I grumble as I hold her close, reveling in the feel of her pressed against me.
Several moments pass as she reclines there, but every inch of her feels tight and pinched.
Cracking an eye open, I run my hand down her shoulder before giving it a light squeeze. "You seem worried."
"Well… I wasn't exactly expecting you here. And you didn't look so good coming in. Kinda bracing myself for the shoe to drop. It was bound to happen at some point."
I give a soft laugh as I wrap my arms around her. "Such a perceptive little thing. I suppose I can't really hide anything from you."
She tips her head back and tries to look at me upside down, but then straightens back out when she sees just how much of a strain that is.
"You don't really hide anything. You may think you are, but I read you loud and clear. Granted, I don't always know what I'm reading, but I can tell there's something."
"Maybe it's just that way with you," I murmur as I graze my lips across her damp head. "I seem to be a blank slate to everyone else."
Silence fills the room as she trails her fingers through the water, making abstract paths in the bubbles. "I'm pretty sure that's not what you wanted to talk to me about." Again, she feels like steel in my arms, all trace of softness gone.
"What do you think it is then? I can feel your anxiety pouring off of you."
"You don't actually want to be with me. We're going to live together, but that's it. All of this was a mistake… I'm a mistake."
Sitting up, I force her to turn around in my arms so that she's sort of half-kneeling between my thighs.
"I want to get something straight off the bat. You are not a mistake. You will never be a mistake. None of this has anything to do with how I feel about you or the filthy, nasty things I want to do to you."
Her body nearly collapses as I watch the relief slide in. "Then please just tell me. I'm about to be sick just thinking of all the ramifications."
A heavy sigh slips through my lips. "That's just it.
It's the ramifications. When you said yes to me, you had no idea what you were saying yes to.
The job I have isn't pretty. It isn't safe.
Joke all you want about 'Chair Force,' but that's not what I do.
Granted, now that I'm stationed here, the threat is less, but it's never gone. "
I reach out to cup her face and slide my thumb across the swell of her cheek. "There is a chance the military will make me move. I cannot, will not, leave you behind. It could impact your school, your studies, your life. Everything."
Letting my hand fall to the side, I close my eyes so I cannot see her face when I tell her the worst part.
"You have to understand what being bound to me means.
There is always a chance I can leave for work and never come back.
My job isn't pretty. It's hard work and concentration.
Here, I won't be required to get my hands dirty like I used to, but it will never be never.
I will shield you from it, but I cannot keep you from the truth.
If you choose me, if you choose this, you have to know what you're choosing. "
I refuse to open my eyes for fear of seeing her answer etched on her face. "If you say yes, then I'm never letting you go. I can't. I won't. This is your one chance to walk away."
Silence greets my speech, and I long to open my eyes, to see the truth of her reaction. I hold there, body poised, ears desperate to pick up on any nuance. Nothing. There’s not even the sloshing of water to indicate movement.
Then, just barely, her lips brush against mine.
She kisses me as her hips strain to straddle mine.
I sit there, letting her take command in this one moment.
It's an option I rarely grant, but I let her explore, let her take the lead.
If it ends with her saying yes, I can be passive in these small moments.
Her lips become bold, kissing mine with a fervency, a reverence that causes tears to prick my eyes, but I don't let them fall. I dare not ruin this moment with these heavy emotions. Even as her arms wrap around my neck so she can lift herself up and rub against me, I let her.
I hold her in kind, not quite crushing. I don't want to scare her off. Not yet. Not when so much hangs in the balance.
Her hips rock back and forth in a gentle rhythm that has the soft velvet of her pussy grinding against my hardening cock. Soft whimpers claw at her throat as she glides back and forth, teasing her hungry pussy with my body.
Wrenching my mouth away from hers, I thread my fingers through her hair and pull her back. Only then do I open my eyes.
"No more teasing, little minx. Have you made your choice?"
The smile Lila flashes me goes straight to my cock, making it pulse against her warm, willing body. It's that hint of a smirk, that touch of brat that has me wanting to pin her under me and fuck her till she cries out my name.
"Yes, Nate. Make me yours. I'm not afraid. Well… of that."
I palm her head and pull her close, sealing her words with a searing kiss. My tongue runs along the seam of her lips until she finally gasps and lets me in. With my other hand, I drag her leg around me then the other, urging her to wrap them around my waist.
As I stand, water and bubbles slide off our skin, splashing into the tub, getting everywhere. But I don't care. I can clean it up later. I hold her close, never breaking the kiss as I walk us into the shower to clean up.
Her ass rubs against my shaft with every step, drawing a ragged groan from my throat. She answers in kind as her arousal drips, coating us both in a sticky, slick mess. Finally, as the warm water slides over us, I pull away.
"What are you afraid of then?" I growl against her lips.
She turns from me, face a bright pink. "You know."
"No," I tease as I soap her down. "I don't know. Enlighten me."
"Tonight."
"Oh. You mean as I take my massive cock and force it into your tight pussy, stripping away your virginity one stroke at a time?"
The pink deepens to red. "I mean… When you put it that way."
"Come." I tease, pretending to be some gallant fairytale figure. "Your fucking awaits."