Chapter 9
Chapter Nine
The unedited version is both better and worse.
Better because Caleb did not invite Sable. He did not flirt with her before the blindfold. He did not know she was in the room.
Worse because there is no music to hide behind when recognition crosses his face.
I do not blame him for Sable's mouth landing on his while he believed she was me.
That was done to him. I blame him for the moment afterward, when his eyes were open and his hand tightened instead of letting go.
I blame him for carrying that moment to our wedding and making my vows before I knew what I was forgiving.
Sable smiles against his mouth.
Caleb's fingers tighten at her waist.
Then something changes. He shoves her so hard she stumbles off his lap.
"What the fuck?"
He tears the blindfold from his neck and stares around the room.
Jeremy is laughing too hard to stand.
"You said it was Dahlia."
"Looked like you enjoyed the upgrade."
Caleb surges out of the chair. "What is wrong with you?"
The camera jerks. Sable reaches for his arm.
"Caleb, wait."
"Don't touch me."
"You kissed me."
"Because he told me you were my fiancée."
"And after you saw me?"
The room goes silent.
Even then, Sable knew exactly where to cut him.
Caleb looks sick. "Get out."
Jeremy tries to turn it into a joke. Caleb grabs him by the shirt and drives him against the wall.
"You used Dahlia's name to put another woman on my lap, you bastard.”
"Relax. It's your bachelor party."
"Delete every fucking recording."
"Or what? You'll ask permission to hit me?"
Caleb knocks the camera aside. The image tilts toward the floor, but the audio continues.
"If Dahlia sees this, it will destroy her," Caleb says.
"Then don't tell her."
The recording ends.
I sit motionless.
Messages begin arriving before I can move.
Owen apologizes. Caleb's cousin says the full video proves Jeremy assaulted him. One of the bridesmaids writes that I should go home now because Caleb clearly rejected Sable.
I stare at the word clearly.
People see the shove and decide it erases the kiss. They need Caleb to be either innocent or monstrous because both answers are easier than the truth.
Jeremy writes, Funny how everyone ignores the part where he kept kissing her.
For once, I agree with him.
Caleb removes Jeremy from the group. Marguerite adds him back. Caleb removes him again and writes, If anyone adds him, I leave.
Marguerite calls me, but I decline.
"Do you want me to make tea?" Ivy asks.
"I want to go back to Saturday."
"The wedding?"
"Earlier. Before the ceremony. I was sitting alone in the bridal room because everyone was checking the flowers. I could have walked out the side door."
"You didn’t know."
"He did. And knew how hard we worked to get past the first time he cheated with her. Her of all people, why her?”
I remember Caleb at the altar, crying when he saw me. I thought his emotion meant our future had overwhelmed him. Now I wonder whether it was guilt.
“Because Jeremy knew this would hurt you the most.”
I nod and wonder how Caleb’s best friend became such a twisted asshole.
Ivy closes the laptop.
"He did push her away,” she announces as if she’s been thinking about it and this is her final judgment.
"After. Aut what if there’s more? What if he’s hiding it from me, like the last time?”
"I know. You’ll never be one hundred percent about him, he destroyed your trust once and look what it got you two. But part of love is trust, and if you want to love him again, you’ll have to trust him again.”
"He was sober enough to be furious. He knew Jeremy had betrayed me. He knew it would destroy me. He still went home, slept, got dressed, and married me."
"What are you going to do?"
Caleb calls before I can answer.
This time I pick up.
"I watched it."
"Then you saw."
"I saw you kiss her."
"You saw me stop it."
"Eventually."
"Why does nothing after those seconds matter to you?"
"Why do you keep acting like what happened afterward should matter more?"
"Because context matters."
"The context is that your friend lied, your ex ambushed you, and you kissed her back after you knew."
"I am trying to make you understand it wasn't a decision."
"Your hand pulled her closer."
"I was in shock."
"You keep calling it shock because wanting her sounds uglier."
Caleb goes quiet.
"Say it," I demand.
"What?"
"Say you wanted her."
"I didn't want to leave you for her."
"That was not the question."
"My body responded. There was history. For a few seconds, yes, some part of me wanted the kiss. Then I understood what I was doing and stopped."
The truth is a blade. I asked him to hand it to me, and I still hate him when it cuts.
"Dahlia?"
"If you had pushed her away the instant the blindfold came off, I would be home right now. I would be furious with Jeremy. I would hate Sable. But I would believe my husband chose me."
"I did choose you."
"Too late."
“Moments too late."
“I didn’t want to ruin our wedding, babe, please.”
"When I walked down the aisle, why were you crying?"
He sounds confused. "Because you were beautiful."
"Not because of Sable?"
"No."
"Did you think about her during our vows?"
"I thought about what happened. I looked at Jeremy and wanted to throw him out. Then you took my hands, and I told myself the party could not touch us unless I let it."
"So you decided for both of us again."
"Yes."
"When did you stop feeling guilty?"
"I didn't. I haven’t. I just couldn’t love you this much and have any place for it on our wedding day.”
And then he begins to cry again, but this time the sound makes me angry.
"Do not make me comfort you."
"I'm not."
"You keep putting your pain in front of me like it proves your love."
"I don't know how to lose you quietly."
"You should have thought of that before you asked an entire room to lie to me."
"I was afraid you would leave."
"You were right."
"Please don't do this."
"I want a divorce."
He stops breathing.
"No."
"That is not your decision."
"You have been my wife for five days."
"And you have already taught me what being your wife costs."
"Dahlia, don't."
"Find an attorney."
I end the call.
Across the room, Ivy covers her mouth.
My wedding ring is still in Maui.
I wonder whether Caleb carried it home or left it on the pillow with everything else that was destroyed.