Chapter 9
Newton
Once again, I open my eyes, feeling as if I didn”t sleep at all last night. I know I was restless, that despite Brielle”s fear of me, I wasn”t exactly comfortable being in a place that gave someone else such easy access to me.
I feel as tired as I did those first couple of weeks after joining the Marine Corps. Sleeping in the barracks with rows of bunk beds filled with other Marines nearly made me go insane, but I managed to get through that. I know I can survive this as well.
Instead of letting myself focus on the fact that she”s still curled up in my closet, I head to the bathroom, taking care of business, before spending a few extra minutes running cold water over my face.
Deep down I know I should ask Kincaid to move her, but I also know that I won”t. I don”t want my boss to see how tired I am after last night and make that decision for me either.
I spend another couple of minutes trimming up my beard before staring at myself in the mirror, trying to put myself in her place, trying to understand what she might see when she looks at me.
Her first words to me were her asking me not to hurt her, but I have a feeling that has more to do with her own history than the tattoo covering my entire neck and the full sleeve on my left arm. Tattoos aren”t exactly a new invention, despite neither her stepbrother nor stepfather having any according to the report we were provided months ago.
I run my hand over my face before standing up straight. Leaving the room in my t-shirt and sweats isn”t ideal, but I also don”t want to disturb her. I crossed a line I probably shouldn”t have last night when I opened the closet door without her permission. I won”t make the same mistake a second time.
”I”m going to breakfast,” I say out loud once I leave the bathroom.
I keep my distance from the closet, wishing I was the type of guy to use the dresser instead of hanging everything but socks and boxer briefs up.
I don”t expect her to answer, but I want her to know that I”m not going to be in the room for a while.
”Usually lasts at least an hour,” I continue as I open the door leading into the hallway.
I pull the door behind me, pressing my ear to it. Just as I suspected, it takes less than a minute before I hear the closet door open. A few seconds later, the lock clicks on the door I have my ear pressed against.
I feel a little better knowing that she”ll spend some time in the bathroom with me gone. Maybe a shower and a little space to herself for a little while will help her feel better. I know she moved around the shelter easily enough, but I don”t know how long that took once she arrived over a year ago. She could”ve easily isolated herself for weeks or even months before venturing out of her room. I could ask Em what she knows about the woman, but it feels like a violation of privacy.
As always, the kitchen is alive and full of activity. Several members sit at the tables with plates of food already in front of them as they chat with each other.
Hemlock, back from his shift keeping an eye on the new shelter location, sits off to himself with a steaming cup of coffee in front of him. Of all Cerberus members, he”s the quietest. Boomer also usually only speaks when he has something really important to say, but he”s gotten a little more social since he and Drake started dating. Drake is the life of every party, and he’s managed to rub off a little on Boomer.
I know better than to get a cup of coffee and sit near Hemlock. The man likes to be alone even though he”s in a social setting. If I sat down near him, it would only take a few minutes before he got up and left.
I make myself a cup of coffee, not for the first time wishing there was an espresso machine here because I need the extra kick this morning. I grab a protein bar, picking the same flavor Brielle ate last night before heading toward one of the tables.
Emmalyn flags me over to the table she and Kincaid are sitting at before I can take a seat near Beth and Oracle.
I give her a kind smile as I join them.
”I just wanted to check up on Brielle,” Em says as I settle into the seat across from her and beside my boss.
There”s a battle inside of me because I know there”s a fine line between the truth and a lie that would be tolerated. Although I know lying to either of them is never okay, I also have this urge to protect Brielle. I”ve somehow managed to get it into my head that I”m supposed to be the one to protect her.
”She slept in the closet,” I confess before I give myself enough time to run through the pros and cons of not being honest.
Em frowns, a rush of disappointed breath leaving her lips.
I know she isn”t upset that Brielle chose to stay in there, just that she was more comfortable there than any other place in the clubhouse.
”Maybe I should go speak with her,” Em suggests. ”She could stay with us. She”d have her own room, and she wouldn”t have to worry about the folks that come in and out of the clubhouse at all hours.”
I bristle some, but I know Em is just trying to figure out where Brielle will be the most comfortable rather than hinting that the clubhouse is too busy for someone in her position.
Other than Hemlock and me, everyone else is in a committed relationship. I”ve never brought a woman back to the clubhouse, and it”s possible Hemlock doesn”t even know what to do with his dick. He won”t smile long enough to even look approachable to women. It”s not like the clubhouse is a revolving door of women. I”ve heard stories of what it used to be like many years ago before the Cerberus curse nabbed everyone and convinced them that although they”ve always seen themselves as being single and playing the field their entire lives, they seem to end up in a relationship not long after they arrive. I”d argue that it”s not possible, but all it would take is a glance at the other tables and the endless happy couples chatting the morning away to prove the theory correct.
”I don”t think she”ll stay in there long,” I tell Em, wondering what Kincaid”s look at the side of my face means.
I don”t turn my attention to the man, and, for some reason, he doesn”t open his mouth to voice his opinion either.
It’s equally as possible that he”s annoyed I countered something Em said as it is that he”s staying quiet because he doesn”t want Brielle in his home.
”I made sure she had something to eat, and I”m pretty sure she”s getting a shower right now. I don”t imagine she”ll stay in the closet forever,” I offer in explanation.
”I don”t want you to feel like you have to host someone you don”t know in your room,” Em says, sounding motherly and concerned.
She”s the first one to stand up and advocate for any person she feels has a need to be defended.
”It”s fine,” I assure her.
”He”ll let us know if he changes his mind,” Kincaid tells his wife. It also serves as a command for me to do so if I get to that point.
“I think it’s important for her to know that she has options,” Em argues. “I’m not going to force her to do anything, but I don’t want her curled up on the floor, thinking it”s her only choice.”
I don”t have to look at my boss to know he”s irritated. I can feel the displeasure rolling off him from the argument his wife is making.
If there is a single soul walking this earth who would make the man fold, it”s his wife. He gives her a simple nod, and she is respectful enough of him that she doesn”t look the least bit smug about getting her way. People in love are weird.
I finish eating my protein bar and drinking the cup of coffee I poured for myself, before standing.
”I”m going to grab her some things to eat,” I explain when Em begins to stand along with me.
I rinse my cup before placing it in the top rack of the dishwasher and make Brielle a plate of food. Instead of just taking the eggs, pancakes, and bacon to her, I also grab a couple of individually wrapped muffins and another protein bar. I turn to walk out of the kitchen but spin back around and grab her a banana too.
Em walks around the table, kisses Kincaid on the temple, and whispers something in his ear before following me to the room.
Once we make it down the hall, I test the doorknob, knowing when it turns in my hand that she has taken care of whatever she might”ve needed to do in the bathroom.
Relief that she hasn”t locked me out completely warms me inside a little as I step to the side and let Em enter the room ahead of me.
I pull in a deep breath, torn on how I want Brielle to act, when Em lifts her hand and knocks on the door. Thankfully, she doesn”t just rip the door open, telling me she knows that Brielle needs a different approach than a strong hand and insistence that it”s silly for her to be in the closet.
”Brielle? It”s Emmalyn.”
No sounds come from the other side of the closet door. Although she didn’t answer me last night either, I still look toward the dark bathroom and the single window in the room, wondering if she might not even be inside.
Em looks over her shoulder at me with a frown.
I step closer, urging Em to move to the side, as I lean in closer to the door.
”Brielle, I have some breakfast here for you,” I begin as I lift my hand to the doorknob. ”I”m going to open the door.”
She remains silent, and I have to trust that if she didn”t want me to open the door, she”d tell me to go away.
Hair still damp from her shower, Brielle blinks up at me.
I give her a small smile, hoping that she reads it as friendly. Her eyes dart from me to Em and back to me. She shifts her weight on the blankets she laid out last night to sleep, and I can”t tell if she”s just trying to get more comfortable or if she”s fighting an urge to run.
”Hey,” Em says, still keeping her distance.
I crouch down and place the plate on the floor just outside the door, making sure not to breach the threshold. I don”t want her to feel like I”m invading her space.
”Beck brought you breakfast,” Em says as if she can”t think of anything else to say.
Brielle”s eyes meet mine, and I feel a little trapped in her stare.
”I didn”t cook it. I promise.”
The upper corner of her lip twitches as if she might smile, but then her eyes drift from me to Em.
”I wanted to check in on you. I wanted to let you know that you”re more than welcome to come stay at my and Diego”s house. It”s here on the property,” Em says, hitching her thumb over her shoulder to indicate the back of the clubhouse. ”We have a spare room you can have all to yourself.”
The second time Brielle”s eyes lock on mine, she never pulls them away.
Em continues to speak, explaining the accommodations being offered and how it will be quieter, but Brielle keeps her eyes on mine.
”You”re more than welcome to stay here,” I offer once Em has finished speaking.
Brielle doesn”t confirm she wants to stay, but she doesn”t turn Em down either. After a few long moments of silence, Em takes a step back. ”The offer stands if you change your mind.”
I follow Em to the door. She doesn”t seem completely satisfied with the way things have gone.
”Beck, a word please?”
I pull in a deep breath and follow her from the room.