Chapter 13
Lock
Over the past few months, I’d spent far too much time wondering if it was possible for a vampire to have an aneurysm. It sure felt like it.
Sam took her shower, then went straight to bed. When I’d gone in to check on her, I’d found her huddled under the covers, facing away from me. At least her blood bottles were empty in the bathroom. It was a small comfort to know that she was eating.
I wanted to drag her out of the room by her feet and demand that she pull herself together. If I had to piss her off to get her blood pumping again, that was what I’d do. Even if I made her magic burst out of her on its own, at least she would be using it, learning more about it. That was the only way she would get anywhere.
Right now, though, I was making dinner. There was a chance that ravioli would soften her a little, open her up. I didn’t just want her to figure out her magic. We also needed to reconnect after everything that was happening. There was a distance between us that I despised.
Cooking someone their favorite meal was considered thoughtful, right? I probably should have asked Mark.
After putting in my ear buds, I dialed his number.
“God, you’re impatient,” he grumbled.
“If I’m cooking Sam her favorite food, will she talk to me?”
He was silent for a moment. “Maybe, but this is Sam we’re talking about. She sort of operates outside the realm of normal reactions.”
“Fuck.”
“Things are still bad, I take it?”
“That’s an understatement. I brought her to the cabin.”
“Color me impressed. That might be helpful, actually.”
“I thought so, but all she’s done is shower and go back to bed. I’m at a loss here. More than usual.”
“Is she getting enough blood?”
“I don’t know. She had three bottles. Benny did say she would need more, though.”
“So, give her more.”
“She’s fighting me. I think she’s concerned about having to drink so much. Maybe she feels selfish or something.”
“It’s possible. She’s overly empathetic and cares too much about what others think about her. Now that you’re alone, though, maybe she’ll start to feel more comfortable.”
“I really hope so.”
“You still haven’t completed the bond?”
“No. She’s afraid to hurt me.”
“It’s a valid fear.”
“It’s ridiculous. She won’t hurt me and even if she does, I don’t care. I will heal.”
He sighed. “She’s impossible to reason with. You need to make her trust herself or she will keep trying to repress it.”
“The woman doesn’t trust anything in this world, let alone herself.”
“She trusts you.”
“If she did, she would listen to me. Tell me what to do, Mark.”
I hated to ask like this. It made me feel weak, but there were some things I wasn’t good at. Emotions were not something I understood well. My mother had taught me to consider what a normal person would think and do, which generally ended up being the opposite of my own thought process. This situation didn’t appear to be so simple.
“I don’t know why you think I’d have any better ideas, but I’ll give it a shot. What if you just spent time with her?”
“That’s what I’m doing.”
“Yeah, but you also have expectations.”
“Well, there are expectations.”
“Okay. You don’t need to remind her of that constantly, though. Spend time with her, find a way to make her relax and feel comfortable in her skin again. You still have the same end goal, but she won’t feel like you’re pressuring her.”
“So, I’m tricking her?”
He breathed a laugh. “No, not really. You’re just being empathetic to how she’s feeling. Forcing her to figure it out will make her fight you. Letting it happen naturally will help her, but it’ll also help both of you get back to where you were before. Do it together.”
“I think I understand. So the ravioli is a good idea.”
“Yeah, it’s a great idea.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Good because this shit is time-consuming.”
“I bet. It’s a good thing you called, though, because I found something.”
Setting the pasta dough aside, I brushed off my hands and slipped into the backyard.
“Tell me.”
“Since Sam’s family is of Scottish origin, I tried searching for information originating from there. Of course, there’s a ton of folklore. One is the story of the Baobhan Sith, which the Scotts thought were fairies. They seduced their victims and drained their blood.”
“Were they witches?”
“The lore doesn’t say, but there are other stories. The Nicneven was a fairy queen, but also referred to as a witch in some texts. Generally, with these types of stories, there is a certain amount of crossover between creatures. Think of the folklore around vampires. Every culture has something similar and we’ve been known as ghouls, demons, and a million other things. Over time, these things become convoluted and humans screw up the accounts.”
“Alright, but does this tell us anything?”
“It gave me a starting off point. When I dug into these stories, they also aligned with a creature in Celtic mythology. The Leanan Sidhe were part of a race known as the Aes Sidhe. Again, they were referred to as a sort of fairy or spirit. I even saw them referred to as goddesses.”
“Were they all female?”
“No. There are a few accounts of males, but most speak of women. That’s not uncommon, though. Women are always demonized and blamed for luring men to their deaths or cursing them. Men often go unnoticed in stories of witches.”
“What do all these stories have in common?”
“Blood. Magic.”
Sitting at the edge of the dock, I let my feet dangle in the water. “Go on.”
“There’s not a whole lot to go on and I’m still piecing it together. All I know is that these people weren’t fairies or gods. They held moon rituals where they drank the blood of humans they’d captured. It replenished their magic. I assume it’s similar to the way blood allows Sam and Seraphim to create magic.”
“But they weren’t vampires.”
“No. Something happened, but most of what I’ve found is old and hard to translate. Some of it is illegible. It appears that there were altercations with the humans and eventually, the witches were killed off.”
“Except they weren’t.”
“That’s all that I have so far. Gaius is going to keep looking here while I head over to Scotland, then Ireland. I’m hoping they’ll have more, since these are their histories. The hard part might be uncovering the Celtic stories.”
“If anyone can do it, it’s you. Is there anything else you read that could help her?”
“I don’t know. Blood is the secret to the magic, so without it she can probably control it better. Since she’s a vampire, though, she has to drink it. Whatever resulted in this combination could be considered either a blessing or a curse, I suppose.”
“Denying blood isn’t an option. She’ll just have to learn how to control it.”
“There were some drawings that depicted the magic. I’m not sure if they mean anything, but it looked like there were different types. It’d be useful to figure out what exact abilities she possesses.”
“You’re right. Thanks, Mark.”
After hanging up, I looked out across the lake. It was hard for me to imagine not wanting the type of power she had. If it were me, I’d have spent weeks testing myself without sleeping. I’d imprison a whole town to use as my blood supply while I perfected my craft. Clearly, Sam and I had very different outlooks on the whole thing.
That was a major aspect of our relationship, though. Even though she’d given in to some of her darker desires and accepted that her version of morality was simply a fabrication, she would never be exactly like me. I didn’t want her to be. I loved everything that she was and anything she might become. It didn’t change the fact that she had to let go of whatever was holding her back.
Sam had been caged before, but she didn’t realize that she hadn’t fully escaped. Right now, she was stuck in that little prison. She had the key to escape, but her mind was still trying to decide what was more dangerous- staying inside where it was safe or stepping outside where things were a little more terrifying.
Outside was where she could be free, though. If you asked me, nothing was worse than being caged. Once she unfettered herself, she’d find that she’d always had the means to fly. She was the one holding herself back and she needed to learn that the greatest strength she could learn was to trust herself.
Heading back inside, I decided I didn’t want to surprise her with some romantic dinner. Sure, she’d probably think it was cute and maybe she’d finally smile for me, but it wouldn’t do any good in the end. Instead, I made my way to the bedroom.
Mark said to simply spend time with her and find a way toward a sense of normalcy. Our version of normal wasn’t candlelit dinners and coddling her when she was upset. Sure, those things had become part of our lives, but they weren’t what our relationship had been built on. If I was going to take us back to our roots, I had to come up with something better.
Should I have been patient? Perhaps, but that wasn’t in my nature. I’d been soft with her lately. That wasn’t going to happen today.
Throwing the curtains wide, I winced at the sunlight that poured into the room. She immediately hissed, covering her face with an arm. When she groaned and tried to turn over, I picked her up and faced us toward the window.
“What the fuck?” she nearly shouted, burrowing her head in my shoulder.
“It’s daytime,” I announced. “You’ve slept enough in the past five days to last you a lifetime.”
“I don’t care. I want to sleep.”
“That’s too fucking bad. I’m bored and you know that’s never a good state for me to be in.”
“Whose problem is that?”
“Yours, since you fell in love with me. Well, allegedly. To be honest, it’s been hard to tell if that’s still the case lately.”
She raised her head just enough to look up at me. “Of course I still love you.”
“That’s a relief since the L.A. coven knows about your transformation and I’m sure the news has spread like wildfire. It’d be awkward if I had to announce that we were no longer partners. Vampire separations can be quite messy, alliances get confused and all that.”
“Why are you being so eccentric right now?”
“We’re on vacation, Samara. You wanted to see the world, remember?”
Her nose wrinkled. “Where are we anyway?”
“Oregon.”
“Oregon? I’d hardly consider that a vacation.”
“Consider it more of a getaway. Considering how much of a bore you’ve been, I’m glad I didn’t splurge for a tour through Europe.”
“It would’ve been ideal,” she muttered.
Rolling my eyes, I brought her down the hall and set her on the kitchen counter before resuming my work with the pasta. She looked around curiously, biting her lip as she realized what I was making.
“You’re cooking me dinner?”
“No. We’re cooking dinner. If your hands aren’t thoroughly messy by the end of this, you don’t get to eat any.”
“Maybe I’m not hungry.”
“I know you’re not. Vampires don’t get hungry for food. That doesn’t mean we can’t eat and enjoy it.”
After a long, dramatic sigh, she hopped off the counter and tentatively picked up some of the dough.
“What do I do?”
I gestured at the long sheet I’d already prepared. “We start with this. Now we need to make the filling.”
“Then what?”
“Be patient and you’ll find out. Cooking doesn’t need to be so precise and planned out. It’s a process that’s meant to be enjoyed. Feel it.”
“Oh, this is one of those things.”
“Here.”
I handed her some herbs, which she set on a board before pulling out a knife. Taking the blade from her, I tossed it into the living room.
“You don’t cut basil.”
“Why not?”
Shaking my head, I took the bunch from her, demonstrating how she should tear it.
“It ruins it. Cutting will make it cook wrong and takes away from the flavor.”
“That makes no sense.”
“Neither does your attitude. Now stop arguing and do what I just showed you.”
As she added the pieces to the pan, I kept an eye on her. When she was giving me attitude, I felt better. The worst thing she could do was become apathetic. If I had to keep pissing her off, that’s what I would do. I had no doubt she’d have a lot more to complain about as the day went on.