Chapter 19
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
While Shannon ordered the pizzas and paid, Dante volunteered to go and pick them up so they could spend some time together, but Shannon’s parents had insisted because they didn’t want to put him out. Which gave him about half an hour to get something out of Shannon.
They made up what had once been Dante’s bedroom in silence. Working together the way they always did. He was always surprised how well they worked together, anticipating and moving before there was an issue.
“So you really aren’t happy to see them?”
“I am…but my mother lied to get the address. She said she wanted to send me a birthday present.”
“Have I missed your birthday?” Why hadn’t Shannon said anything?
Shannon smiled and shook his head. “It’s next month.”
“Can I ask how old?”
“Twenty-seven.”
He was glad he hadn’t missed Shannon’s birthday and that Shannon wasn’t handing out his address to anyone and everyone.
“If I’d known they were coming, I would’ve said something.” Shannon tucked in the edges of the blanket. “It’s a long way to come just to stop in and say hi.”
“Did they used to drop in unannounced?”
“Sometimes, usually they’d invite me around for dinner and ambush me.” He didn’t say it with malice, but there was something in his tone that didn’t sit right with Dante.
“I’d give anything for my parents to turn up and ambush me.” Not that his parents would. They’d always let him know if they were coming to see him, but mostly he used his leave to come home and see them.
“I know, I’m being a dick.”
“I didn’t say that.” Shannon knew his parents better than anyone else.
“You didn’t need to. I’m bitching about my parents driving over eight hours to come and see me.” He grimaced. “If they’d call to tell me, that would’ve been different.”
“Why?” Dante placed two fresh towels on the end of the bed.
“Mom is going to want an extra towel for her hair.”
Dante fetched a third towel. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“Because I’m trying to think of an answer that makes sense instead of just vibes. I think it’s because instead of giving me the chance to say no, or this weekend doesn’t work. How about next weekend? They just assume that I can drop everything for their emergency.”
As far as Dante could tell, there was no emergency, yet for Shannon to be reacting like this, there was clearly an old wound. “Do you usually drop everything?”
Shannon crossed his arms and pressed his lips together. “I did it first. I was still living at home, and I had a proper full-time job, so of course if an unexpected bill came up or they just didn’t have the funds, I dealt with it.”
“Were you paying board?”
“Yeah. I’d been paying board since I had any kind of job.
It was all part of contributing to the family—everyone chipped in.
It’s how we made it through some very lean months when the housing market was shit, and Dad hadn’t sold anything, and Mom hadn’t pulled any commercials or voice-overs.
We weren’t poor; we always had a house and some kind of food…
but we were always juggling, and it wasn’t until I was sixteen that I really started to understand most people didn’t live like that.
I had friends who had it better, and I also had friends who had it way worse. I was always in this weird spot.”
It sounded chaotic. It was no wonder Shannon thrived in a job which needed calmness when everything else was falling apart in catastrophic fashion.
“I sound like an ungrateful shithead, but it feels like they’ve turned up unannounced to shake up whatever stability I’ve been trying to build. They expected me to fail and come home weeks ago.”
“Did they tell you that?”
Shannon snorted. “Yes. They said I wouldn’t be able to hack small-town life as it wouldn’t suit my lifestyle.
That’s because they’ve only seen me date people who are chasing their dream, just like them.
The whole point of getting out of LA was to break old habits.
To start over and grow some balls and learn to tell people no. And I failed on my second day in town.”
“Pride.”
“Yeah.”
“They don’t know about…” Dante indicated between the two of them.
“No, I would never out someone.”
Dante hadn’t been worried about himself, more that if his parents expected him to fail, he was willing to help Shannon prove them wrong. “So we just act like landlord and tenant.”
“I want to ask them why they’re really here.”
Dante shook his head. “Give them a chance. Maybe you’ve all changed.”
Shannon stared at the floor. “I’m not sure I’ve changed at all.”
“I don’t think that’s true. Otherwise, you’d be itching to return, and I don’t think you are. I think you like the life you’ve been building here.”
Shannon nodded but didn’t look at him. “What if I only like it because of you and I can’t actually do anything on my own?”
Dante was silent for several seconds, mostly because if he spoke, it meant admitting a truth he had been trying to avoid far too long. “Being on your own is overrated.”
“You have everything.”
He scowled. “I lost everything and have rebuilt one painful step at a time, literally. And I would hand it all back if my injury and my family’s accident never happened. Everything I have now is because there was no other option.”
Shannon drew in a breath. “I’m sorry, I know. From the outside it looks like you have your shit together.”
“I am sure there are people who look at you and think you have your shit together. You moved eight hours away from home to a strange town to start over, taking only whatever you could stick in that fish trailer? It’s a ballsy move.
You know why I stayed? Because I couldn’t bear the thought of starting over; it was worse than the pity and sympathy from everyone in town.
Some days I felt stuck, like I was standing on an IED and it didn’t matter which way I moved.
I was still going to end up hurt. So my world became smaller and smaller.
It was only a couple of years ago that I started teaching classes and going to trade shows.
It took me three years to rebuild.” At the time, he hadn’t known what he was rebuilding.
Only that working on his knife-making skills gave him something to do, and if he stayed busy, he didn’t have to think about anything else.
If he pushed his rehab until he was too exhausted to do anything, he could sleep.
“Looking at you and the way you breeze through not caring what anyone thinks of you pisses me off and makes me envious. I want that ease, but I don’t know how to get there.
I was happy with my life even though I knew something was missing.
” He closed his mouth knowing that he’d already said far too much.
He didn’t want to be picking the scabs on old wounds.
They didn’t need to compare and decide who had it the worst, yet that was exactly what they were doing.
Shannon frowned. “I’m sorry for messing up your life?”
“You don’t need to be sorry. When you knocked on my door, I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist, so I let you stay even though I should’ve pushed you away.
And now I can’t imagine living in this house alone again.
” He didn’t want to be alone. Even though he had built rules to keep people out so he didn’t get hurt, Shannon had somehow found a way through all of them like they didn’t exist.
“I didn’t know it was you. If I had known, I probably would’ve avoided seeing you again because it was so awkward. But everyone calls this place the old horse-riding school instead of ‘Nicks and Cuts’.”
“Yeah, it’ll probably take them another ten years before they get round to using the new name.” A car rumbled up the driveway. “Sounds like your parents are back with the pizza. You don’t have to take my advice, but maybe try to enjoy dinner.”
“I will. Maybe I’m wrong.” He shrugged as if he didn’t really believe that was a possibility.
For Shannon’s sake, Dante hoped that he was wrong and that his parents had come to see him and not ask for money.
They managed to get through pizza and beers, and Dante hardly had to say anything because Shannon’s parents were updating him on what was going on with his three siblings and their partners and children.
I didn’t remember Shannon mentioning the nephews.
They also spun tales of Shannon as a kid and how he’d been such a promising talent before deciding he didn’t want to do that anymore.
Shannon’s expression had tightened, but he had let them continue.
His mother leaned forward. “So, Dante, you teach knife making? That sounds very niche.”
“It was a hobby that I turned into my job after leaving the army.”
“Thank you for your service,” Shannon’s Dad said.
Dante was tired of hearing that. He didn’t want thanks.
He wanted proper help for veterans who didn’t have family to fall back on or a family inheritance.
He knew he was fucking lucky. Meanwhile, there were injured vets who were homeless and unable to get the medical care they needed.
But instead of arguing, the way he did with some people, he simply nodded.
Shannon’s mother glanced between the two of them as if trying to figure out if there was something going on between the two of them. “So no one special, Dante?”
“Not at the moment. Like Shannon, I’m just concentrating on myself and my business. It wouldn’t be fair on someone else to fit them in around the edges when I can’t make them a priority.”
“You don’t want to leave it too long,” she said with a wink.
“Mom…please don’t give my landlord dating advice.”
“I’m just saying a man like him should have someone to share his life with.” She gave Shannon a pointed look. “And so should you. You should know your ex booked a part on one of those superhero movies, playing an evil henchman.”
Shannon laughed. “Good for him.”
“Told you that boy is going to make it big.” His father nodded.