Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
Della
He’s flipping unbelievable.
Why did Maddox send him here?
Shadow? I scoff and shake my head at the thought.
I don’t know how they came up with that name for him, but they should call him Pain in the Ass instead.
Earlier, I’d gotten a look at the cut he was wearing, the same one he wore the night before at Rodeo Roundup. I now knew he was the Vice President of an MC called the Fallen Demons. Interesting.
I wanted to ask him about it, which angered me more than I already was. I really should apologize to the nurses and doctors who were helping take care of me. I’ve been nothing but a total bitch toward them all.
Granted, I have reasons for it. I don’t like hospitals. I don’t like visiting them, let alone being in them for any reason. To make it worse, Shadow had been staying with me. I didn’t need him here.
It took me a couple times telling myself in my head to call him Shadow instead of Tyler for it to sink in. He’s no longer Tyler King, the boy I crushed on so hard.
He’s now a man that I can’t and won’t ever have. Doesn’t matter that I’m no longer invisible to him. He’s not it for me, and I’m not for him. I couldn’t care less.
That’s a lie.
He embarrassed me so many years ago. Humiliated me in the worst way. Doesn’t matter that no one knows it happened but me.
I squeeze my eyes shut and try to block out the memory, but I can’t, not when it’s coming at me full force.
“Come on, Tyler, you need to go inside and sleep it off,” I murmur, struggling to keep a drunk Tyler from falling flat on his ass.
“Only if you come in with me, sweetheart.” His voice and those words shoot straight down my spine.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” I blow it off like those words didn’t affect me.
Tyler turns to me and pulls me into his arms. “I know exactly what I’m talking about. Come inside and let me fuck you, Marcy, you know I want your pussy.”
My back shoots straight, and I want to run and cry.
He didn’t even know it was me who was helping him.
He thinks I’m Marcy, a girl whom I can’t stand.
A girl every guy in town wants. She’s a year older than me already eighteen, and has teased, if not screwed, nearly half the guys in school or around it.
Guess when you’re already out of school and in between, you can do whatever you want.
Especially if you advertise that you’re nothing more than an easy lay. Guys are gonna want it and take it.
I shake my head and push away from Tyler. “Go get some sleep.”
With that, I ran, tears stinging my eyes as he called out Marcy’s name, confirming just how invisible I am.
The need to throw up nearly has me doing just that as I shove the thoughts deep once again. I don’t want to think about that, or anything else bad that’s happened in my past.
I like to think the things that have happened to me in the past are what’s made me become the person I am today.
Too many things have happened to me for me ever to become the girl I used to be. I’ve hardened myself from those who could fully hurt me. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
Only certain people have that power, and I hate myself for allowing them to have it.
“Time to move you, Della,” Bella, the nurse I’d harassed earlier, says brightly, though her face is anything but. She’s ready for me to be out of here.
Sighing, I figure without Shadow here, I can be nice. “I’m sorry for being a total bitch toward you and the others.”
Bella blinks at me, and a small smile forms on her lips. “We’re used to patients treating us poorly,” she says, waving my apology away.
“Maybe so, but it’s not right. I just don’t like being in hospitals, and I do apologize sincerely for my attitude.”
Bella nods but doesn’t say anything further. I don’t know if she accepted or not, but I don’t bother with additional conversation.
Ten minutes later, I’m planted in a single-patient room. The only sound comes from the vitals machine. I’m not much for knowing medical terminology or what they call everything in the hospital.
I could turn the TV on, maybe get on my phone, but I don’t. I curl up on my side and look out the window, staring at nothing. If I hadn’t been bitten by a rattlesnake, I wouldn’t be here.
Shadow was right. It’s my own fault for allowing this to happen to me. If I’d paid better attention and not allowed my thoughts to consume me, I’d have been able to avoid this all in the first place.
I’m such an idiot.
The sound of my phone beeping draws my attention from my thoughts, and I roll onto my back. Reaching for my purse that I had set on the table next to the bed, I pull out my phone to find a text from Luka.
Luka Wells is a partner of the company I worked for.
He’s also the guy that I would sleep with.
We were nothing more than office booty calls for each other.
He didn’t come to my place, and I didn’t go to his.
We strictly had sex in his or my office.
Once it was in the conference room, but that was it.
What we did together was scratching an itch when we needed to.
Though I’ll admit, Luka was starting to hint at wanting more than just office sex.
I open the text to read it.
Luka: When are you coming back? I need to see you.
It’s not like I’ve spoken to him since I left Copper Run. I didn’t see a need for it. All I’d done was tell Luka, who was also my boss, that I quit. I sent him everything I had done for the account he needed me to get done and left. He hadn’t reached out, and I hadn’t either.
Okay, so he reached out to me, but I ignored him. I mean, I have been grieving.
Me: I told you I was done. I gave you what I had before I left.
Sighing, I place my phone on my lap and stare at the ceiling, wishing I wasn’t here. More than anything, I wish I could go back to this morning and not get bitten by that damn rattlesnake.
My phone alerts me to another text having come in, and I lift it to see it’s another one from Luka.
Luka: That’s not enough, Della, and you know it. I deserve a conversation. If you won’t talk to me over the phone or come back here, I’ll have no choice but to come and see you myself. You know I don’t like being ignored.
I scoff and toss the phone back onto the bed when it beeps again.
Groaning, I lift it to find a text not from Luka, but Shadow. It seems he decided he was going to program himself into my phone as well as take my number for himself.
Shadow: They get you squared away?
I want to ignore it. I really should ignore his text. Only my fingers don’t listen.
Me: Yes.
It’s short and the only answer I’m going to give him.
Putting my phone on silent, I toss it back down and lean back into the pillow as I grab the remote. Maybe if I drown out my thoughts with mindless TV, I might finally be able to sleep.
I switch the TV on and end up putting it on Fire Country.
It’s one of the only shows I allow myself to enjoy.
That and Sheriff Country. Those two series, even if one is only one season so far, are so good.
I can’t get enough of Bode, and I think Mickey is awesome with her dry humor.
She totally should have gotten with that DEA agent.
Then again, I think she should be with Boone. He’s also hot.
Watching Bode struggle internally feels like I can relate to him. I can get lost in watching everything on the screen unfold.
Halfway through the episode, I find myself nodding off and welcoming sleep.
It’s frustrating.
Dreams of things I don’t want to think about haunt me. I don’t like thinking about it, let alone reliving my past even subconsciously.
Gasping awake, I find myself alone in my hospital room. No one was there. No one could hurt me. Not again. I wasn’t going to let what happened my senior year in college get to me.
Nor was I going to let what’s happening with Maddox get me down.
Cornbread Granddaddy would tell me to hike up my jeans, saddle up, and grab the reins.
You can’t let the past define who you want to be.
Be who you are. It’s the only way you get through this life.
Work hard, prove your worth to no one but yourself.
God knows he’d be disappointed in me if he knew how little I think of my self-worth some days.
With a sigh, I go to reach for my phone to find it not on my bed next to my leg where I’d left it, but on the table, next to my purse. There are also two drinks and a carryout bag from The Hideaway. I’d seen the restaurant in town, but I’d never been there. Who’s been here?
Just as the thought slips through, the person in question steps into the room.
Shadow.