Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
Della
“A cab, Della, really?” Maddox says as the cab pulls down the lane, heading back for the road. “I would’ve picked you up. All you had to do was call.”
I shrug, not meeting his gaze. An exasperated sigh leaves his lips.
I didn’t want to look at him. It’s embarrassing enough what happened yesterday.
I was lucky enough that the doctors let me go first thing this morning and didn’t keep me longer.
They made sure I knew to contact the family doctor if I start to feel any symptoms, and I promised I would. I just wanted out of there.
“I figured you’d be working.”
“I would’ve stopped working.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want to bother you.
” The last thing I want is to bug anyone into doing anything for me.
If he was so concerned, he could’ve come to the hospital yesterday, but he didn’t.
I’d point that out to him, but I don’t want to fight with him.
I want to go in the house, get a shower, and get out of these clothes.
I didn’t have anything else to change into, so I put on the ones I had on yesterday.
“It’s fine. I’m home. I’m heading in to take a shower and change.” I hope Judy has coffee on and maybe something I could eat. I’m starving.
“We need to talk, Della,” Maddox states as I head for the porch. “Sooner rather than later.”
“I know,” I tell him, not looking back.
At the hospital, lying there awake after Shadow left, I had way too much time to think. I thought about the Will. About what Maddox said the other night. About the past.
Being alone with my thoughts is never a good thing. It hasn’t been for years.
Stepping into the house, I’m hit with the immediate aroma of delicious blueberry muffins. I follow the smell and my stomach growls.
When I step into the kitchen, I see Judy at the sink, washing dishes by hand. We have a dishwasher, and yet she always insists on washing them by hand. Well, most of them at least.
“Hey,” I call and grab one of the muffins from the stash in the middle of the table.
“You’re on my shit list, young lady,” Judy states calmly, turning around to face me, wiping her hands on a towel that she keeps at the sink.
“I’m sorry.”
“You get bit by a rattler, end up in the hospital, and you don’t call anyone to tell any of us how you are.
” Judy narrows her eyes, tosses the towel down, and plants those hands on her hips, looking every bit of a perturbed mother.
“The least you could have done was call to let us all know you were okay. We had to hear updates about you from Shadow.”
“I didn’t want to bother anyone,” I try, though I know the excuse is lame when it comes to this woman.
“That’s no excuse, and you know it,” Judy snaps, pointing her finger at me. “Sit your hind-pots down.”
I know better than to argue with this woman and do as I’m told. I take a seat and nibble at the muffin in my hand as Judy joins me, bringing a mug filled with black coffee to the table for me.
“Here, drink your coffee and eat your muffin. You and I need to have a talk.”
I really didn’t want to, but again, when it came to Judy, you didn’t argue with her. At least I didn’t. I’ve always respected her.
When I lost my grandmother as a little girl and then my mother when I was sixteen, Judy became the only woman in my life I could really turn to when I needed that motherly figure.
Only after I went to college did that bond seem to shift.
I didn’t talk to her every day. At first, I’d talk to her on the phone constantly.
Then it changed to every week, to every month, to rarely.
Up until I came home, it was mostly email with a few calls here and there.
“Why didn’t you call your brother or even me to come get you this morning?” Judy jumps right in.
“As I told Maddox outside, I didn’t want to be a nuisance to any of you,” I state and take a large gulp of the hot brew. Looking at her, I smile. “Coffee is good as ever.”
“You drink it like it’s going out of style, child.” Shaking her head, she smiles back. “Now, for the record, you being here, getting hurt, and taken away to the hospital does not in any way make you a nuisance of any kind. Do you hear me?”
I nod, though I don’t believe her.
She could have tried to come up to the hospital, but didn’t even call me yesterday to check on me.
“What had you going out on a horse before the sun was even up?”
“I wanted to go for a ride on Rex.” I shrug.
“I know your mind is a mess right now with your granddaddy’s passing. You want to talk about it?” She points out.
“Yes. And no. But I don’t want to get into it right now.” I don’t need to tell her how much I’ve derailed my life. She doesn’t need to know yet that I quit my job.
I mean, how do I tell anyone about my life? What I’ve been through? What I’m dealing with even now?
With what Maddox and I learned from the Will, things aren’t great, and honestly, I’m confused. I don’t know how to make things right. My brother clearly doesn’t want me here.
Last night, Luka kept messaging me and even called me twice after Shadow left.
Lucky for me, he hadn’t messaged while I had company.
Surely enough, Shadow would have been nosy and tried to see who was messaging me.
I didn’t need that. I told Luka everything I needed to say to him.
What else was there? I sent him all the details of what I’d been working on.
I gave him my resignation. I wasn’t going back.
Well, I was, but not to stay. I needed to pack up my place, not that I had much there.
First things first, I needed to figure out what the game plan was going to be here.
“Well, when you’re ready to talk, I’m here to listen. Might want to give your brother a chance to talk as well. He’s torn up right now and could use the support of his sister.”
Those words are like a slap to the face. Honestly, they hurt worse than any blow ever could.
Maddox is torn up, but so am I.
Yes, Maddox was here. He saw Granddaddy every day.
Took care of him. Got an aide to come in.
Handled the ranch. Worked his ass off. And where was I?
Three hours away, working myself to the bone, never taking a break.
I always made it a joke with my so-called friends at the office that I lived and breathed for my work.
Which, in truth, I did. I thought it made me happy. It didn’t. In truth, I was miserable. Didn’t matter how much money I made, it didn’t replace the fact that I wasn’t home.
I finish the muffin, drink down the rest of my coffee, and stand. “I’m gonna go take a shower.”
Judy nods, her expression unreadable as she’s still smiling at me, but her eyes seem to be trying to read me.
If only she knew the truth about me. Would she be defending my brother so?
Would she understand why I’m the way I am?
There’s no way she could. I’ve allowed myself to become so distant from them all.
For what?
Fear? Disappointment?
I went away with every intention of coming home, and because of what happened to me, I let it keep me from coming home to where I wanted to be most of the time.
* * *
The shower feels like heaven—just the right water pressure. With the water nearly scalding hot, a sigh passes my lips at how good it feels. I ignored the fact my leg was hurting, but it was more of a dull pain right now. Something I can handle.
Like at the hospital, my mind is filled with all of my roaming thoughts.
This time, though, thoughts of what Judy said also filter in, breaking down the walls I keep around me at all times with a verbal sledgehammer.
I know without a doubt Maddox thought one hundred percent that he’d be the one to solely get the ranch.
I figured he would. Never in a million years did I think our granddad would leave me half-owner of it.
What hurt me more than anything was that Maddox wanted to buy me out.
He didn’t want me to have anything to do with this place.
I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t let him have it all. Not because I wanted to be selfish, but doing that means I lose the one home I always knew I could come back to even if I didn’t feel welcome here. It was still home.
I try to block out the rest of the thoughts that want to mix together and finish my shower.
There’s a lot filling my head which I don’t want to think about.
Though I know I'll have to face it all sooner or later. Being back home, I’m supposed to be able to feel free and safe, only I don’t, and I think that’s what’s really getting in my head most.
Shutting off the water, I reach for a towel, wrap my long hair up, and use another to dry my body before stepping out of the tub. I wrap the towel around my body and quickly cross the hall over to my room, sealing myself inside.
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my day. I promised the doctor I’d take it easy, but feeling restless, I need something to do.
Going through my dressers, I pull out clothes I can put on.
Jeans, of course, I would wear usually, but I think I might go for a run.
Pulling on a pair of leggings that were cropped at my thighs, I find a sports bra and a tank top.
With it being a warmer day, I could probably do shorts, but I’m not going to.
Most of my clothes are business attire. Slacks, blouses, suits, skirts, heels.
I left most of those at my place in Copper Run, only bringing a few things.
I’d mostly brought my fitness clothes and the small amount of jeans and casual clothes that I have.
I throw my hair up in a messy bun, pull on a pair of socks, and my tennis shoes. I grab my phone and AirPods from my purse and make my way out of the house.
I know I need to talk to Maddox. He and I have a lot to talk about, first though, I could really use the run to clear my head. I didn’t care I just got out of the hospital after that damn snake bit me. This is something I needed to do for myself.
Running, I’ve learned, helps me in a lot of ways. To think. To keep fit. To clear my head. To come to terms with everything going on.
I typically run a good five miles three days a week. I do eight miles the other four. It’s the only thing I do that doesn’t involve me being in the office.
Outside, I stretch my legs, ignoring the slight twinge in the one I’d been bitten. I put the pods in my ears, pull up my playlist “Beauty in the Boogieman” playing in my ears.
I start at a slow jog, passing the barn, waving to the guys I see working. I knew most of them from before I left, and was introduced to the others I hadn’t met already. I could easily take a lane and run along the road, but I want something a bit more challenging, so the trails it is.
Picking up the pace, I run for a good hour before slowing back down, controlling my breathing.
The key to running, I learned, was never fully stopping your pace, keep moving.
You start walking, and you have a harder time getting back to the speed.
It’s easier to go from a jog to run back to a jog and repeat.
I know better than to do a jog and sprint without the middle. It’s a necessity.
Just as I start to move faster again, I catch sight of a man on a horse coming in my direction.
I come to a stop and stare at the man on the horse as he also comes to a halt. Tyler Henderson’s mouth moves, and with my music loud, I can’t hear him, so I pull the pods out of my ears.
“What was that?” I ask.
“I was saying, you know, you shouldn’t be out here running after getting out of the hospital.” Tyler leans forward, forearms to the horn of the saddle. “Not good.”
“I’m not one for sitting around twiddling my thumbs.” I shrug while planting my hands on my hips. “What, did Maddox send you after me?”
“He’s busy right now with the others. Wyatt told me he saw you going for a run this way, figured I’d check on you since he hadn’t seen you come back.”
“Well, as you can see, I’m perfectly fine.” I lift my arms on either side of me and twirl. “I decided to go for a run, and that’s what I’m doing.”
“I see that.” He nods. “But you shouldn’t be.”
“What should I be doing then?”
“Whatever the doc told you to do.”
I shake my head and start heading back the way I came. “I’ll see you later,” I call out over my shoulder.
I hear him behind me, climbing off the horse, then he’s next to me. “What’s up with the chip on your shoulder, Della?” he asks, walking next to me, the reins in his hands.
“Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
Tyler has known me for a long time, but like everyone else, he doesn’t know me anymore. Still, he’s a call it as he sees it kind of guy. Doesn’t play games and won’t let those around him do the same.
“It’s none of your business,” I say straight up.
“Della,” he calls, stopping both of us with a hand on my arm. “Since you’ve been home, it’s nothing but tension between you and Maddox.”
I look up at him and wonder to myself why he’s even out here talking to me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” That’s a lie, and I know it. I also know Tyler’s right.
“What happened to you yesterday struck a nerve with your brother. I may have been the one who found William out in the pasture, but your brother got that call. Hearing that shit about you on the radio, it fucked with his head.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not dead. I’m alive.” I wonder, though if maybe Maddox would have wanted me to have died. At least then he’d have gotten the full ranch.
“Your brother lives and breathes for this ranch, Della,” Tyler grunts.
“I work every damn day alongside him and know what the stress is like for him. You need to get your head out of your ass and stop being a bitch. The world doesn’t revolve around you.
And you’re taking unnecessary risks when he’s got a lot on his plate. ”
“He has nothing to worry about. Besides, if he’d been so worried about me, why didn’t he come up to the hospital?
Why was I there all night by myself? Why .
. .” I stop myself before I continue and end up saying what I was about to.
I knew what was about to slip out. That wasn’t about to happen. “You know what? It doesn’t matter.”
“Della,” Tyler starts, but I pull my arm from his grip.
“I don’t want to hear it.” I put my AirPods back in my ears, start my music, and take off at a dead run.
I don’t know what the hell I’m running away from, but regardless, that’s what I’m doing, running away.
I sprint, not run. Sweat coats my skin from the exertion and humidity of the day.
The entire way back, I know Tyler’s behind me.
I get he was trying to be a friend, only he didn’t have the right to stick his nose where it didn’t belong.
My life was no one’s business but my own.