Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
Della
“You really want to know about the different degrees I’ve earned?” I can’t believe Shadow is asking me this. Let alone the fact he’s sitting next to me as if he did it every day of the week.
“Yeah, why not?” The way he looks at me causes butterflies to flutter in my stomach.
“Because you never really did this before,” I point out. He’s never in the years I’ve known him sat next to me for a conversation.
“Well, little mouse, you have all of my attention now,” he says, that grin of his firmly in place. “I want to know about you. Find out what you’ve been doing.”
Right.
I’m not sure if I can believe that or not.
Regardless, I answer his question. “I have a degree in business management. Another in accounting. I also minored in business administration.”
“That’s pretty damn cool,” he murmurs. His expression is easily readable, showing he’s impressed.
“Yeah, I had a plan to use them here at the ranch.”
Why did I say that?
“What changed that you didn’t?”
“My senior year changed everything.”
Oh God, now why did I mention that?
“Your senior year?” His confusion was clearly written all over his face. Great. “Why is that? Did you get a job offer or something?”
“No.” I shake my head, question my reaction to him, and why I’m even talking about this.
I don’t talk about this kind of stuff with anyone.
Yet I want to. I want to be honest with him.
I don’t think I can lie to Shadow about my past. “I did get an internship that I got to work at, but that came after the events.”
“Events?”
I turn my gaze away from him, focus on nothing specific, and whisper the words, “I was raped.” Words I had only just told my brother.
“Come again?” The harshness of that thick tone draws my attention back to him. The anger isn’t just visible but radiating from his body. “Did you just say someone raped you?”
“Yes.” The word barely leaves my lips before Shadow launches off the swing, making me grab the seat to keep from falling forward off as well, and tosses the file down as he starts pacing.
“What the fuck?” he roars, pacing the short length between the railing and the house in front of me. “Who did it? You report it?”
Shadow’s questions surprise me. A part of me likes that he’s so angry because I could tell it was on my behalf. Another part thought he wouldn’t believe me.
“You believe me?” I blurt out, watching him closely.
Shadow comes to a halt, turns toward me, eyes gaping.
“Why the fuck wouldn’t I? If there’s one thing I remember about you, it’s that you were never one to lie.
You don’t have a poker face, and you sure as hell wouldn’t come up with something like that to accuse others of. That’s not how you were raised.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” I agree.
“Did you report it? They get who did that to you?”
“I know all the parties involved in it, and yes, I reported. Before you ask, nothing came of it. Those I told didn’t believe me.”
“The fuck,” he snarls and retakes his seat on the swing at my side. “You said parties, it was more than one?”
I swallow, feeling my throat thicken as I think of that day.
Why I’m telling Shadow, I don’t know, but I can’t seem to stop myself from giving him the details of that night.
More than I’d given Maddox. I tell him about Cameron filming the whole time, laughing while her boyfriend and his friends took turns violating me.
I even admit that I’d been a virgin when it happened.
“Give me the names,” Shadow demands when I finish.
“What?” I blink and shake my head. “No, I’m not going to do that.”
This time, he leans in and commands, “Give me their names, Della.”
“Why?” I whisper.
“Because those fuckers need a lesson in fucking with what’s mine.”
Did he just say . . .
“Yours?” I’m not his. We’ve barely had a pleasant conversation without me snapping at him and being a bitch. Surely, he must have said that by mistake.
Shadow’s eyes lock with mine, and I swear his stare can penetrate mental shields like lasers through metal.
“Maybe not yet, but you will be.”
“What does that mean?” I ask, utterly baffled by his response.
“Means since I left you at the hospital, you’ve consumed my thoughts. It didn’t matter what the hell I was doing, you were on my mind. I’m pissed with you over the fact I told you to call me when you left the hospital. You could’ve reached out to me even when you were there.”
Whoa.
“I’m learning I’m not good at communicating, worse when I’m in a foul mood, I’m a complete and utter bitch.”
“You’re not a bitch, Della.”
“I can act like one,” I point out.
“Doesn’t make you a bitch, though.”
“If you say so,” I mutter and clear my throat. “Back to what I was saying, I don’t see how I’m yours.”
“When I see something I want, I go for it. I want to get to know you. Spend time with you. Eventually, take things further. We’ll go at your pace, but know that’s where my head is at with you and where I want things to go between us.”
Wow.
What he’s saying is kind of nice.
More than nice to be honest.
“So, you what? Want me to be your girlfriend?”
“If that’s what you want to call it,” he agrees, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Though I should point out, I won’t be calling you that. I’m not a boy. You’re sure as fuck not a girl. When I introduce you to people, it’s as my woman, not a girlfriend.”
Whoa.
My head is spinning at his declaration.
I don’t think I’ve ever had a boyfriend, let alone a man. Luka definitely was not that. He was simply a booty call.
“Wouldn’t it be messy to start anything now? I mean, with the deal between my brother and the club? It could be considered a conflict of interest in some ways.”
Shadow’s grin slides back in place., “You let me worry about that.”
I’m not sure what I should be thinking about all this right now. I probably need to tell him ‘No’. Instead, I nod in agreement, making his grin turn into a full-blown smile.
“So, what do we do now?” I ask.
“Now, we sit here and just talk. Get to know one another better. Tell me more about this dude ranch.” He chuckles and takes my hand.
Him doing something so simple is another new thing for me. I’ve never held hands with a man. It’s something intimate in a way a kiss isn’t.
The two of us sit back, his longer legs pushing the swing while I keep mine up in the seat. I explain my vision, enjoying the moment in a way I haven’t in so long, I don’t remember what it’s like to sit with someone like this.
“I’ve got to admit, the more you talk about it, I can see it in my head,” he states, watching me closely.
“Yeah, it’s the main thing I thought about doing after school. I knew I wanted to open my own business, I didn’t know if anyone would agree with me.”
“What other ideas did you have?”
“If I didn’t do the dude ranch, I thought about possibly doing a garden nursery,” I answer sheepishly.
“There’s a florist in town already,” he points out.
“Yes, but this wouldn’t be a typical nursery.
We have farmers all over the place, but they don’t grow herbs.
Not usually. My idea was to have a garden nursery that focused on different herbs, from simple thyme and oregano to cilantro, which is very sensitive to grow.
You have to know what you’re doing when it comes to certain herbs like cilantro.
If it grows too quickly, or if the weather is too warm, the leaf quality declines.
I also thought I could even have beehives to go with it for the honey. ”
“You seem to know your herbs.”
I nod and smile. “I used to grow them in the flowerbeds. It was a hobby. Though, I’ve never had beehives.
The idea of them, though, and having fresh honey sounds amazing.
You know if you plant them by different wildflowers, you can get a sweeter taste.
I could easily sell out at the nursery and the farmer’s market. ”
“If you could open this nursery, what would you name it?”
“Well, Meadows Garden Nursery, of course. I have to have the family name in it.” I laugh and look to the barn. “I just never thought of where I could put something like that as I did for the dude ranch.”
“You’re something else, you know that?”
I slowly tilt my head back to him, losing my smile. “I’m really not.”
“You are.” Shadow leans in, getting so close our noses are nearly touching. “I need to ask you a question.”
“What’s that?” I whisper.
Shadow pulls back, stops the swing from moving, the humor in his eyes gone.
“Years ago, did you help me get home one night?”
His question is like a splash of cold water in the face.
“Why?” I ask.
“Just answer the question.”
“Yes, I did.” I get off the swing to put distance between us, only Shadow pulls me back on the swing next to him.
“Tell me what happened,” he orders. His voice soothing and his eyes far too assessing for my liking.
“Why do you want to know this?”
“Because today I had it thrown in my face, and I need to know what the hell happened. Did I hurt you?”
“You called me Marcy,” I blurt out.
“Fuck.” Shadow pulls back and shakes his head, letting out a heavy breath. “That bitch was right.
I stiffen and narrow my eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“I don’t remember any of what you or Marcy shared. The only thing I recall is being drunk off my ass. Back then, I was dealing with a lot and drinking to deal with it all.”
“You were,” I agree. “You showed up with Maddox at a party and got drunk. I stopped you from a fight with a kid that would have landed you in jail. I walked you home, and you tried to get me inside while calling me Marcy.”
Shadow groans and closes his eyes while leaning back in the swing.
“I’m sorry I did that to you. If I’d been in the right headspace, I wouldn’t have.
And don’t take this the wrong way, but I wouldn’t have let you walk me home.
You were seventeen . . .” He pauses and looks at me.
“What were you doing at that party anyway?”
“I’d gone with a friend, she wanted to go.” She shrugs and keeps going, “I was spending the night at her place. It’s really not my thing to go to a party, but that had been my first time to one.”
I want to ask him why he’s bringing this up now, but I keep my mouth shut.
Shadow nods and reaches out to curl his fingers around my neck lightly. “With us starting something here today, I’m going to give you some truths you’ll need to know.”
“Um, okay.”
“First things first, to get it over with, the reason I ask is cause Marcy threw that shit in my face after accusing me of getting her pregnant.”
My eyes bug out, and I open my mouth to say anything, only no words form on the tip of my tongue.
“We had a DNA test done to confirm what I already knew, but to confirm, I didn’t, nor did any of my brothers get that bitch pregnant.”
“Well, that’s good. Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I’m not a man to keep secrets from the woman he’s making his,” he answers, squeezing my neck slightly.
“The second thing I’ll tell you, and this goes without saying, I won’t keep secrets from you, but there will be times I can’t tell you things.
If I say it’s club business, then that’s exactly what it is, and I won’t be sharing. ”
“Club business?” Now, I’m confused.
“Yeah, club business, unless it’s something I can share, I won’t tell you any of the dealings with the club.
That being said, I won’t keep you separate from that part of my life.
You’ll be around my brothers, get to know everyone.
You might see things when at the clubhouse for parties that might make you uncomfortable, but I wouldn’t have you around it if it wasn’t something I didn’t think you could handle. ”
“I don’t do parties,” I tell him, repeating my earlier statement.
“I know, and I get why you don’t. When you’re around the clubhouse with me, you can trust me. Not one damn thing will happen to you. I won’t let it, little mouse. No one would dare touch you.”
With his hand still holding me, Shadow leans in and places a tender kiss against my lips. It’s brief, yet the best kiss I’ve never had. When he pulls away, he gets to his feet, eyes on me. “I’m gonna head back to the clubhouse, show this to Lucifer. Be back in a few hours to pick you up.”
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.” He grins and pulls me up off the swing. “I promise what we’re gonna do will be fun and just the two of us.”
I’m not sure if it being just the two of us is a good thing or not. However, my heart leaps at the idea.
How has this come to happen? One minute I’m pushing him away, and now we’re starting something between us. It’s a beautiful feeling that warms me in a way that’s new to me.