Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
Della
“You seem to be in a chipper mood this morning,” Judy acknowledges as I sit at the table drinking my coffee.
God, Judy makes the best coffee in the world. It’s always the perfect blend. Maybe it’s because I’m home that it tastes good. Everything tastes better if I’m honest.
“I’m not in a chipper mood. I’m just feeling better overall.
My leg no longer has a twinge of pain or anything.
I even went for a run at dawn.” I figured if I went early, no one could stop me.
It’d been invigorating. I love being able to run and think.
I slept great and woke up without an alarm clock going off.
Last night had seemed surreal being out with Shadow.
The two of us spent the entire time talking, and it had been wonderful.
As much as I crushed on him when I was younger, I had no idea how smart he was.
I never thought he was stupid in any sort, but the questions he asked me, the conversation we held, it was just absolutely the best I’ve ever had.
Shadow didn’t act as if I were incompetent regarding what we spoke about. He didn’t treat me like I was beneath him. When he talked, he seemed highly interested in my passion for everything I wanted to do with the ranch, with my life.
Dark had completely fallen, and we stayed out there in the middle of Willow’s Bluff, secluded from the rest of the world. While we’d been out there, we had front row seats to the most beautiful meteor shower.
The evening was simply perfect. The best, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Well, maybe something, but I needed to be able to come to terms with what we have starting between us.
I’m still reeling over the fact that he wants to be with me. We barely had a civil conversation before yesterday on my porch, and it feels so sudden, yet oh so right at the same time.
In truth, it scares the daylights out of me, and I don’t know what I’m doing. For once, though, in my life, since everything happened, I can be me and let go of protecting myself so much that I push everyone away.
“I think you should still be taking it easy,” Judy mutters, moving to refill her own coffee mug.
“I’m fine, Judy, I swear. If I weren’t, then I’d say something. Promise.” I hope my words reassure her, but from the deep furrow of her brows, I’m not sure if they do.
“You and Maddox seem to have worked everything out,” she points out, changing the subject.
“We’re working on it.” I nod. “I’m trying, same as Maddox.”
“That’s good.” Judy takes a seat across from me, eyes never leaving mine. “Are you ready to talk about it?”
“About?” I draw out, my heart racing, already knowing what she’s going to say.
“About everything. Anything. Whatever is on your mind.”
I sigh and lean back in my chair. I told Maddox about what happened to me. I told Shadow the same. Which, for me, was strange in itself. Though telling more people, talking about it to Judy, I’m not sure I’m ready for that.
“I have a lot of regrets,” I admit softly.
“There are so many times I wish I’d been here and I wasn’t.
” Shaking my head, I look down at the mug in my grasp.
“I miss him. Miss hearing his voice. Having him call me Della Girl. I miss everything about him. I thought when we lost Mom, that it was hard, but it was nothing like losing him. He was my rock.”
“He’s still with you, Della,” Judy whispers.
Tears prick at my eyes as I nod.
“You know, when my mother died, I would see the most beautiful cardinals everywhere. They were her favorite birds. I even still have the collection of figurines she’d buy when out and about. She loved them so damn much.”
“What I’m trying to say, though, is, your granddaddy, he loved you deeply, and he’s with you. You’ll see one day how right I am. He walks this earth next to you in spirit, in your heart, in your mind. He’s all over this ranch. Just wait and see.”
Through watery tears, I give Judy a small smile. “I appreciate that.”
“Now, you want to tell me what’s going on with you and Shadow?” she asks yet again, changing the subject.
I let out an awkward laugh and shake my head. “When I’m sure of it, I’ll let you know.”
As much as I enjoyed being with Shadow and getting to know him better, it was different, and I’m still confused by it all. He, Tyler King, the boy I crushed hard on, now turned into an even hotter man, wants me.
No matter how confused I am about it all, I’m still moving forward with the idea of us being, well, an actual couple.
I check the time on my watch and sigh. “I better get ready. Maddox and I have to head out soon, and he’ll have my ass if I’m not ready.” Not that I had to really do anything before we leave. I had already showered and changed. So, what exactly did I need to do ahead of us heading out?
I could have gone out and helped him out in the barn or pasture, though I didn’t think that he’d appreciate me stepping in that way.
I’ve been doing my best in the past several days to not do anything to jeopardize what we have accomplished.
I took time to heal. I’m fine now. I should be able to do something. Anything.
I wouldn’t even mind mucking the stalls if I didn’t have to sit twiddling my thumbs.
Granted, that’s not what I’ve been doing at all.
I converted everything to digital, where the books were concerned.
I could keep both types of logs. It’s always good to have, but with it now digitized, I can easily compare and note what’s what.
Numbers are something I look forward to working with, but it’s not the only thing I want to do. I need something to get me out of the house. Even if it’s to help the guys with the chores around here. Judy has her job, they have theirs, I’m simply learning where I can help.
Judy says something about getting the lunch for the ranch hands ready, and I smile. I want to offer my assistance, but I know what she’ll say. She’s been doing this job since my grandmother passed away and didn’t need a hand in feeding her ‘boys’.
Leaving her to it, I head to the front of the house, slip on my boots, and step out onto the porch.
My gaze roams over the land surrounding me.
I stop when I spot the family graveyard.
It wasn’t too far from the house. The saying that family should always be held close meant that even in death, those lying to rest needed to be kept near.
“You ready to go, Della?”
I nearly jump out of my skin at the sound of my brother’s voice calling out to me from the direction of the barn.
Spinning around, I find him making his way toward me.
“I’m just waiting on you,” I shout and head down the steps toward his truck. We’re gonna ride together. No point in us taking two vehicles. Besides, Shadow had sent me a text this morning and told me that he’d give me a ride home since he wanted me to stick around after the meeting.
I didn’t know if that was a good idea or not, but I didn’t care. I was looking forward to spending more time with Shadow than I already was.
* * *
Shadow is standing off to the side of the trailer, leaning against his bike, his phone to his ear when we pull up and park.
Seeing him standing there causes all sorts of butterflies to flutter in my stomach.
I’m nervous enough, and I’m sure my brother can tell.
However, seeing Shadow, brings back last night’s date we shared.
“Hey, you ready?” Maddox asks, pulling me out of my stupor.
I unclasp my seatbelt, dragging my gaze from Shadow to my brother. “As ready as I’ll ever be, I suppose.”
“Everything is going to work out,” Maddox says, reassuringly. “Just follow my lead and let me do the talking. I won’t agree to anything that jeopardizes your position as part owner of the ranch.”
“I know that.” I do. Maddox wouldn’t do anything that could hurt the ranch or me. The last part I’m just realizing I’ve known all along, but forgot for a while.
“Good.” Maddox nods, sighs heavily, and opens the driver’s side door as he says, “Let’s get this shit over with.”
Shadow is shoving his phone in his pocket as I hop out of my side of my brother’s truck. As much as I wanted to run up to him and hug him, have him kiss me, I don’t. I don’t want to seem needy or clingy in any sort of way.
“Shadow,” Maddox greets him as we get closer.
Without taking his eyes from mine, Shadow acknowledges my brother. “Hey, Lucifer’s already inside waiting.”
I see Maddox nod and head for the steps to the small porch leading to the trailer. Only I don’t pay more attention as I can’t look away from Shadow.
After a heavy moment, I force myself out of my stupor, thinking this is a business meeting, nothing more. At least for right now.
I start to follow after my brother when Shadow’s hand shoots out and takes mine, stopping me. He stops me, one hand wrapped around my wrist.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Maddox demands, his tone dangerously close to being pissed.
“I need a word with Della. We’ll be in just a minute. You don’t want to keep Lucifer waiting,” Shadow states without glancing in my brother’s direction.
My breath catches when the door closes behind Maddox, leaving me alone with Shadow. The man who is quickly worming his way into my life in ways that should terrify me, yet it’s thrilling all at the same time.
Shadow pulls me against him, not caring that anyone could step back out of the trailer or walk up on us at any given second. As he lowers his head, his lips brushing ever so softly across mine.
My eyes flutter closed, and I savor the touch of his kiss.
“Missed you, little mouse,” he murmurs, kissing me once more.
“You saw me last night and texted me this morning.” I try my best to keep my excitement tamped down, but I’m not so sure he doesn’t miss it in the way I touch him or the sound of my voice. I’m pretty obvious even if I’m not trying to be.
“Baby, seems even when I don’t see you for hours, you got me wanting you.”
“Well, I might have missed you as well,” I whisper.