Chapter 8 #2
‘You’re paying through the teeth to be here. Hunt Ranch isn’t just a dude ranch, it’s a luxury resort with a twenty-four-hour concierge, and if you don’t feel safe here, that is a problem for us.’
‘It’s not the ranch,’ she rasped. ‘I … I don’t feel safe anywhere anymore. And I know that’s irrational, but it’s like my body won’t listen to my brain.’
Her reply confused him. Christ, anyone would be afraid.
‘I think that’s going to be your new normal for a little while, all things considered.
But there are things we can do to help.’ He didn’t reach out and touch her again, though he wanted to.
He kept it transactional in the hope that a business conversation would ease her embarrassment.
‘Option one, we post a wrangler outside your cabin at night.’
‘No.’ Her reply was instant. She shook her head vehemently. ‘I don’t want to be a burden. And I don’t want people asking questions.’
‘They already are, Nina,’ he said quietly.
She had to be prepared. How many photos had she taken with fans over the past few days?
How many of them had already posted those pictures to social media?
In how many of those posted photos were her bruises faintly visible beneath her makeup?
‘At least if we had someone posted outside your cabin, we could guarantee your safety and privacy.’
‘I’m safe.’
‘Your vindication only worries me more,’ he countered quietly. Because it didn’t make sense. How could she be so certain that people wouldn’t figure out where she was? Or that her attacker wouldn’t come for her if news of her whereabouts spread?
She wrapped her arms around her stomach, lowered her eyes to the ground. ‘You haven’t asked …’
‘I want to.’ He let that sink in for a moment. ‘But I figured you’ll tell me if and when you’re ready to. Otherwise, it’s none of my business.’
She didn’t go into the attack. ‘I still see him in my sleep,’ she whispered, giving him that much. ‘Which is why I’ve been staying in the bathroom. It … I guess, it helps me feel safe enough to fall asleep eventually. But I can tell you with certainty that I don’t need security.’
‘How can you possibly know that?’
‘He wouldn’t risk hurting me again.’
The confidence with which she said it only confused him. ‘If you don’t want security, we could move you up to the resort.’
She shook her head. ‘Too many people. The crowding—’ she brought both hands to her neck ‘—it makes me feel like I can’t breathe, like I’m being suffocated by my own anxiety. Always watching. Waiting for someone to come up to me or touch me or hug me without warning.’
Mav understood. But he was about out of options. There was only one other solution he could think of, and he knew he should have run it by his sister before he offered. And yet, the words came out of his mouth anyway. ‘The only other option I have is that you come stay in the ranch house.’
She frowned. ‘The ranch house?’
‘It’s about a mile up that way.’ He pointed towards where the house sat, nestled in a little valley and completely obscured by trees. ‘We have two spare rooms. And Shadow would bark like crazy if any stranger came within a hundred feet of it.’
‘Your house?’ Her eyes rounded in surprise. ‘No. I couldn’t do that.’
‘At some point you’re going to have to realize that I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.
’ And because she only stared at him, he kept going.
‘It’s private. Secluded. Nobody who found out you were staying here would think to look there.
You could still participate in all the ranch activities but save money on the cabin.
You could stop sleeping in the bathtub and in an actual bed again.
And Poppy’s only five, so she doesn’t really understand the celebrity thing.
’ He tipped his head. ‘But I should warn you too, with my kid in the house, you’d never have a moment’s peace. Only exhaustion – but the good kind.’
And because it would be a weight off his shoulders, he took a low shot. ‘It would also put my mind at ease because then I could stop worrying, too.’
Though she knew it wasn’t what he had intended, Nina was mortified.
She’d known when she’d gone back to her cabin and seen the bed neatly made and the room tidied that she’d made a giant mistake in forgetting to hang the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign, but beneath the humiliation she had convinced herself that nobody at a five-star resort would pry.
Only, Hunt Ranch wasn’t just a luxury getaway.
She knew that now more than ever. It was a family-run enterprise, a place founded on over one hundred years of roots and cowboy ideals.
‘I’m not some poor, helpless damsel in need of rescuing.’
Infuriatingly, he only nodded, said, ‘No, ma’am.’ And then, damn him, he made her smile by adding, ‘Those tubs are pretty comfy too. They cost an arm and a leg, so I’m glad they’re earning their keep.’
Nina considered the offer.
She hated how appealing it sounded. Because the truth was, as safe as she was, knowing it and feeling it were two separate issues, and she knew beyond a doubt that sleeping in the same house as Maverick Hunt would make her feel safe.
Wasn’t he the entire reason she made her way to the barn each morning and spent way too much time there?
The horses – particularly Barbie – were a part of it, sure.
Nina genuinely enjoyed spending her time with them, but as a guest, she shouldn’t have been grooming, feeding, and caring for them until her damaged ribs spread fire through her side.
She knew that. But the moment Maverick had left that first day, she’d realized that he was what had made her feel safe.
And, since then, she’d stayed at the barn far longer than was normal so that she could rest her own vigilance, even for a little while.
Because knowing that her attacker wouldn’t hurt her again didn’t mean that her body or mind would ever forget the damage he’d already done.
‘Why do I feel that this isn’t a normal offer?’
‘It’s not. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a genuine one.’
She tried to remind herself that he couldn’t protect her.
Maybe he could stop anyone else from physically hurting her, but her career was almost certainly over, and she had no idea what she was going to do.
And, still, every time Maverick was kind or gentle with her, Nina felt herself relaxing, opening up to him in a way that terrified her.
And she couldn’t afford to grow lax. She couldn’t ever grow comfortable enough to share the truth because, while it might make her feel better in the moment, once unleashed, the truth would destroy her. Of that she was certain.
Wasn’t that why she’d run?
Maverick Hunt was so clearly an idealist, and if he found out what had happened, he wouldn’t understand why she’d done what she’d done.
How could he? He didn’t know what it was to have to fight tooth and nail for every rung of the ladder you climbed.
He didn’t know what it was like to get to the top of that ladder and then have somebody else kick it out from underneath you.
‘You can’t help me,’ she said quietly, wanting to warn him away from her.
Maverick didn’t agree. He looked her right in the eye, replied, ‘Wanna bet?’
His assurance, his absolution, had a completely unprecedented effect on Nina, and the moment the words left his mouth, a half-sob left hers.
She slapped a hand over her mouth, physically trying to stop the tears of embarrassment and guilt and relief.
‘Oh, my God,’ she managed even as tears blurred her vision. ‘I’m so sorry.’
Mortified, she turned to go. She didn’t even know where. She just needed to get away from her own humiliation.
But Maverick caught her hand in his, holding her where she was, her back still to him, her arm outstretched behind her.
Nina instinctively braced against the restraint, twisting her wrist in his large hand even though he held her gently. ‘Please,’ she croaked, refusing to face him as hot tears streamed down her face.
But instead of letting her go, Maverick said, ‘Nina, look at me.’
His voice – the deep, gentle tone of it – soothed her.
It broke through the panic in her brain, reminded her who she was talking to.
But she still couldn’t turn around, couldn’t act her way out of the emotions she knew he’d read in her eyes.
They were too real to smother, too raw to hide. She only shook her head.
From behind her, Maverick said, ‘I would never hurt you.’
She shook her head, embarrassed all over again. ‘I know,’ she managed.
‘Do you?’
‘Yes,’ she said the single word firmly.
‘Good.’ Without another word, he turned her around, manipulating her weight as if she were a child. He tugged her forward and settled her against him before wrapping both of his arms around her.
Nina tensed for a single moment before relaxing into the embrace.
Even as she told herself that she was making a fool of herself, she tucked her arms in and sank into his strength.
She buried her tear-streaked face against him and inhaled his smell – deodorant and horses and male.
She closed her eyes, giving way to her exhaustion, and she let her circling thoughts rest. Just for a moment.
Maverick’s heavy palm traced circles on her back.
He didn’t say anything. Not one word. He held her, providing comfort without expectations.
Nina, who had never been embraced quite like this before, wasn’t entirely sure how she was supposed to feel.
Her own mother had never been affectionate, choosing to go off with her latest boyfriend instead of staying in her dilapidated shoebox apartment with her only child, and while she had never physically harmed Nina, Lulu Keller had done much more damage with her words, and as Nina had grown up and started attracting looks from men, even looks she hadn’t wanted, Lulu had only become worse.
On the day her mother had found Nina’s acting headshots, taken by Luigi against the white wall in the restaurant kitchen, she had laughed herself to tears.
She had torn the pictures up. And, worse, she had told Nina, ‘You think you’re so special.
But just you wait. You’ll end up on your back, just like me. ’
So, Nina wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel.
But it was as if his big body could shelter her from anything.
His warmth seeped into her numb, cold heart, making it beat again.
And, shockingly, there was a kick of lust, low in her belly, and because that terrified her, she took a moment to rest her forehead against his chest and breathe him in one last time, and then she stepped back. ‘I’m sorry.’
He didn’t touch her again, only quietly studied her tear-streaked face. ‘Why?’
She laughed quietly, fully aware that most people would have been mortified by her breakdown. ‘I’m not in the habit of breaking down in a stranger’s arms.’
‘Are we strangers?’
Nina was slightly taken aback by the question.
Maverick didn’t give her much time to mull on it. ‘I don’t think we’re strangers. A stranger is someone you pass on the street, someone you don’t know at all. I know you.’
‘You do?’
He turned back to look out at the mountains, rested both arms over the top rung of the fence.
‘Maybe not all – but enough. I know you have a soft heart. I know you work hard, like animals, and have a stubborn streak wider’n any mule’s.
I know that you attract good people because I met your best friend, and friends say more about a person than anything else.
I know that you’re a beautiful woman who doesn’t think much about the way she looks.
And I know that you’re scared, but that you’ve got thick skin protecting that soft heart.
’ He shrugged. ‘So, not all – but enough.’
Nina wasn’t sure what to say. Nobody had ever summed her up quite so simply. Or accurately. And because he had thrown her off, she tried for nonchalance. ‘Stubborn streak wider than any mule’s?’
‘Oh yeah,’ he replied decidedly.
‘Because I slept in the locked bathroom?’
It was supposed to have been funny. Dark, but funny.
But instead of laughing as she’d wanted him to, Maverick’s eyes dampened. ‘No. Not because you refused to ask for help. That’s not stubborn, that’s proud. Which is a good trait to have until it starts stealing your sleep.’
He nudged her gently with his shoulder. The gesture was friendly, comforting, intended, she knew, to take the sting out of his words. But Nina liked the familiar way he touched her.
‘I know you’re stubborn because even though you’re scared and sleeping in the bathtub, you get up every day, you come down here, and you work like I’m paying you overtime instead of relaxing like the Hollywood star everyone keeps telling me you are.’
‘I like the horses.’
‘I know it. But you also refuse to wallow and be self-pitying. And working with the horses has given you a reason to get up in the morning even when you’d rather not. You refuse to let him win even though I can see you’re still terrified. That’s stubborn. In damn spades.’
His words, though kindly intended, eviscerated her. They were as true as they were the greatest lie she’d ever heard. And as much as she wished things were different, and as stubborn as she admittedly was, she had let her attacker win. She had let him take everything from her.
‘I ran,’ she admitted quietly, saying more than she had to anyone else. ‘I lied to the police. And I ran.’
She saw the moment that Maverick put the pieces together. His eyes narrowed. His jaw clenched. But instead of pushing for more, he replied, ‘You ran to the right place, Nina.’
Seeing Benji and Riley coming back from lunch, she turned to walk away.
Nina would later wonder why she’d done it, what had possessed her to be so sure of herself when she’d angled her face over her shoulder and said, ‘I don’t come here every day because I’m stubborn.
Or, not only because I’m stubborn. I come here because I feel better – safer with myself – when you’re in shouting distance. ’