Chapter 27
At noon, Maverick pulled up to Amanda Black’s address. Though the assistant chief had refused to give him any of her details, whoever Sierra’s friend in the LAPD was hadn’t been quite as discreet.
He looked at the house for one long moment, knowing that what he was about to do wasn’t smart. Hell, it wasn’t even fair. The last thing he ever wanted to do was make another woman feel unsafe. But he had to try. For Nina.
The house was a small but neat hacienda style in East Hollywood. There was a red front door and flower beds full of flowers lining the pathway up to the porch. It was cheery. Homey.
He got out of the Jeep and walked to the front door, steeling himself for the rejection.
A dog started barking from inside the house, and before he’d even pressed the doorbell, a woman stepped out onto the porch.
She was small and blonde, only a fraction taller than Nina. Her eyes sized him up, not warily, but questioningly. ‘Can I help you?’
‘Amanda Black?’
‘Yes.’
Mav exhaled a deep breath. He didn’t know what to say, or how to start. All he knew to be true was that he loved Nina and would do anything for her, so he started with: ‘Have you heard the news about Nina Keller?’
Amanda’s eyes cooled immediately. ‘I have no comment.’ She turned to go.
‘I’m not media!’ he called after her, but he didn’t follow. He stayed well away from her front porch because he didn’t want to scare her. ‘I’m dating Nina.’ And because that wasn’t exactly true, he corrected with: ‘I’m in love with her.’
That seemed to give her pause. Amanda stopped at her door and turned to face him. ‘Look, I read about what happened – about what Alexander Cane said about her.’ She laughed bitterly. ‘Only an idiot would believe that bullshit. But I’m sorry. I can’t help you. Legally.’
‘You signed an NDA?’
She was silent for a long moment before ceding, ‘I settled the matter privately.’ She ran one hand through her long, blonde hair. ‘Not a day goes by that I wish I hadn’t. But I can’t take it back.’
‘I would never ask you to. I’ve seen how it weighs on Nina, and I understand that sometimes it’s easier to just let go.
I just … I’m looking for something – anything – that might help.
I promise that I will only share the information you give me with Nina’s attorney, and that she will keep your identity confidential if that’s what you want. ’
Her blue eyes raked over him. ‘Why? Why would I trust you?’ she asked.
For Mav the answer was easy. ‘Because I love a woman who’s living what you lived through, and I would never do anything to hurt her, and – by default – hurt you. Because I know. I’ve seen the terror and despair and hopelessness.’
She nodded, though she remained stoic.
From somewhere inside, a little boy called, ‘Mom!’
Amanda Black glanced back at her house. She was quiet for a long moment.
Maverick held his breath.
‘Look, I won’t promise anything. But if you give me Nina’s lawyer’s details, I’ll reach out and speak to her confidentially. That’s all I can give you.’
Maverick felt a small glimmer of hope. ‘Thank you.’ He took out his phone and pulled up Linda Patton’s cell number.
He rattled it off as she plugged it into her phone, and when he was done, he added, ‘Let me give you mine too.’ When she just stared at him, he explained, ‘Nina … She struggles to tell me everything. But if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone who’s been through what you’ve been through …
I’ll ask her. I think it would help both of you, you know. To not feel so alone.’
Amanda didn’t speak. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. But after a long moment, she nodded, and Maverick gave his number.
He didn’t step onto the porch or try and reach out and shake her hand. He stayed back, giving her space, said, ‘Thank you. I really appreciate it. And I’m sorry.’
And then he left.
He drove straight home, and forced his Jeep through the press camped outside the Hunt Ranch gates. He parked beneath the big oak tree and climbed out, and even though everything had changed he still felt that instant relief the moment his booted feet hit his own land.
He inhaled a huge breath of fresh air and felt his heart settle. In the house, Shadow barked.
Mav leaned into the truck to get his duffel, and by the time he turned around, Poppy and Shadow were out the door and sprinting to him as though he’d been away for years instead of a single night.
‘Daddy! Daddy!’
She jumped and he caught her with one arm, raised her onto his hip easily as Shadow danced around his legs. ‘Hi!’
‘I missed you so much!’
‘I missed you too,’ he said, and he kissed her forehead.
He had too. It was weird, being away from her. Every time he had sat down over the past twenty-four hours, he had felt like he had forgotten an item on his to-do list, only to realize that he didn’t have any list while he was away.
‘Did you have fun with Sisi?’
‘Yeah. Lots!’ She used one small hand to brush her hair back from her face. Her small face puckered into a frown. ‘Where’s Nina?’
‘She has to look after herself for a little while, baby. But she’ll be back.’ He knew he shouldn’t get Poppy’s hopes up, but he needed something to hold on to. He needed to believe that Nina would make her way back to him – to them.
‘Oh.’ Poppy’s eyes welled instantly. ‘Is she sick?’
‘No, she’s not sick. She just has a sad heart, and she needs some time to fix it.’
‘But, Daddy, you know how to fix everything!’
Mav chuckled at that, even as he wished he had that childlike confidence. ‘Cookies don’t work for everyone.’
‘Oh.’ Poppy considered this seriously for a minute before asking, ‘What about cake? Nina likes cake.’
‘How about, next time she comes to visit, we can make her a cake? See it if helps?’
Poppy nodded. ‘’Kay.’
He carried her up the porch stairs and set her down when he saw Sierra leaning against the front door. ‘Poppy, if you take this inside—’ he put the duffel on the ground ‘—there’s a present in there for you.’
Poppy did not hesitate. She lifted the bag, which was comically too big for her, and half carried, half dragged it inside so that she could rummage around in it.
The moment the door slapped shut behind her, Sierra said, ‘So?’
‘I know, okay. I know everything you’re going to say. Hell, I even agree with most of it.’
‘So, what are you going to do?’
‘Give her space. Because she asked. Show up for her when she’ll let me. Be here for her if and when she’s ready to come home.’
‘Okay.’
Mav raised his eyebrows at that. ‘Okay? That’s it? No argument? No calling me an idiot?’
‘Nope.’ But she looked at him, her eyes filled with obvious concern. ‘How are you doing, Mav?’
He exhaled. ‘Not great.’
‘Shannon all over again?’
‘Worse,’ he said. ‘So much worse. The only thing keeping me from full-blown panic is knowing that she’s trying to protect me – and Poppy.
That’s what she said. And I can’t even be mad at her because the fact that she thought about my kid at all – and during the worst time of her life – only made me love her more. ’
‘But?’
‘There is a not-so-small part of me that is terrified that she won’t come back.’ He cleared his voice of emotion. ‘And I’m not so sure what to do about that.’
‘I think you make sure you’ve told her how you feel about her, and then you give her the time and space to decide what she wants,’ Sierra said slowly.
‘I think, as hard as it is for you to truly believe it, you acknowledge that Nina is not Shannon. You know that in your heart, Mav. Otherwise, you never would have let yourself fall in love with her.’
‘I didn’t let myself do anything,’ he insisted.
‘She just knocked me clean off my feet. Those goddamn eyes … I didn’t stand a chance.
’ And strangely, he felt better having admitted it.
‘I wanted her from the first, but I didn’t want to need her.
And then before I had even acted on the want, I somehow ended up needing her. ’
‘I know it’s hard for you,’ she said. ‘But you have to trust her to know what she’s doing. She’ll come back.’
‘I hope so.’ Mav sighed. ‘But I hate not being there. I hate not being able to help her or comfort her. It feels like I’ve abandoned her when she needs me most, and that goes against everything I’ve ever believed in.’
‘So? What are you going to do about it?’
‘We need to rearrange my schedule indefinitely going forward. If she reaches out, I need to be able to pick up and leave at a moment’s notice.
I won’t pressure her on the relationship because I know she doesn’t need that stress right now.
But I’m also not going to sit here, twiddling my thumbs, while she faces that fucker alone. ’
‘I’m way ahead of you.’ Sierra cocked one hip. ‘I asked Benji to stay on and help until things blow over.’
Mav’s eyebrows rose at that. ‘Thank you for doing that for me. I’m sure it wasn’t easy.’
‘I don’t know …’
Maverick waited silently for her to continue.
‘Part of me hated having to do it. And part of me was relieved that I had a legitimate excuse to ask him to stay. And as much as I know it’s fucked up, as much as I can’t talk to him without snapping, I also selfishly feel safer knowing he’s here when you’re not.
’ She shook her head. ‘What type of person does that make me?’
‘Human.’
Sierra laughed. Leaning forward, she linked her arm with his and tugged him through the front door. ‘What can I do for you, Mav?’ she asked, redirecting the conversation.
‘Can you help me open an Instagram?’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Why?’ She led him through to the kitchen. ‘Mav, given your relationship with Nina, being online right now isn’t a good idea. It’s brutal. And it’s only going to get worse.’
‘I know. But I don’t know how else to let her know that I’m here for her. I want her to know that I’m not afraid of the scrutiny.’ He went to the fridge and pulled out two beers, twisted the cap off the first and passed it to Sierra before opening his own. He sat at the kitchen table.
Sierra held one palm out. ‘Phone.’