CHAPTER THIRTEEN #2
I haven’t spoken to Mark Holloway in over a year, not since I got his number from my grad school advisor to refer Colson.
I thought it would be a fool’s errand to find an experienced trauma therapist out here in the middle of nowhere.
But, to my utter shock, Holloway practices only 30 miles from Gunnison.
He’s one of the most respected professionals in his field, which is why it’s even more shocking that he took my call.
And now, after all that, he’s calling me.
“Well, I had a few loose ends to tie up before unplugging for the next 10 days and you were on my call list,” he replies.
“Me?” I croak, wiping away the residual tears on my cheeks.
“Apologies for waiting until today to call. I hope I’m not interrupting. I'm also freezing my ass off on my deck trying to escape my mother-in-law for a few minutes. Don't tell anyone.”
“Don’t worry,” I snicker. “Your secret’s safe with me, Dr. Holloway. I just wasn’t expecting it.”
“Please, call me Mark. My professional persona is a joke during family functions. I can be the keynote speaker at an international conference, but my teenage daughters still think I’m cringe for wearing ankle socks to the gym.”
“Not a problem, Mark,” I snort. “I can be cringe with the best of them.”
“Well, that’s a relief. Anyway, what the hell was I saying?
” He pauses for a moment. “Oh yeah, why I called you. I’ll get straight to the point.
One of my partners, Priyah Harschburger, is leaving the practice, moving to Arizona to be closer to her parents.
I threatened her, of course, offered her more money, but to no avail.
Which brings me to you. You might be aware that there are specific training and experience required for effective trauma-based therapy.
Services are in demand for people like us with these skillsets, especially in rural areas. ”
Us? Is he including me on the same level as him?
“Not that I didn’t do my due diligence. The last thing I want to do is invite someone into a partnership who’s a total ass.”
Mark Holloway is kind of kooky. And I’m so here for it.
“That being said, the need is real—on both fronts. Our case load is full, and the practice is still growing. Priyah’s case load was more than manageable, but it won’t be if we have to redistribute to other partners.
We can’t be effective if we stretch ourselves too thin and put our established clients at risk.
I need someone to come aboard immediately, and I’d like to offer you the position. ”
Holy. Shit.
“Oh…um…” I stammer.
What the hell am I supposed to say? I clear my throat, trying desperately to sound like I haven’t just been crying on Sergei’s sofa. Hell, the man was able to reach Colson Lutz. That must qualify for a Nobel Prize. And he called me personally to offer me a position in his practice?
“If you need some time to think about it, I understand,” Dr. Holloway says. “I realize you’re probably up to your eyeballs in Christmas cheer so, again, I apologize for the timing. But if I could respectfully ask for your decision by the 26th, I would really appreciate it.”
I glance over my shoulder, at Sergei lounging on the sofa, knees splayed out with one arm slung over his shoulder as he watches the snow fall out the window.
“No!” I blurt out. “I mean, no, it’s no trouble. I was just caught off-guard. But actually…”
Then I think about Brett, Colson, Ev, and how much I miss them every single day.
I think about Derek and his stupid Napoleon complex and the unread emails I probably have threatening to fire me anyway.
I think about the whirlwind of emotions that hit me like a tsunami only within the past few days.
Then I think about the blonde leviathan sitting on the sofa, waiting patiently for me.
“I think this sounds like an amazing opportunity and I would be honored to accept.”
“Oh, thank God,” Dr. Holloway breathes a sigh of relief. “I’ve been avoiding this too long and I was going to have a mutiny on my hands if I didn’t find an acceptable candidate soon. Denial’s not just a river in Egypt, huh?”
I’m also really enjoying how much of a quintessential Dad Dr. Holloway has turned out to be.
“It’s alright Dr. Holloway—Mark. I recently decided I need a change of scenery myself. I’ve gone as far as I can go in my current position. I need to move on.”
“Very good. Well, enjoy your holiday and I’ll touch base with more information and an official offer next week. And I won’t low-ball you, either. I’m probably the biggest ass in that office, but even I’m not that bad. And we don’t have shitty health insurance, either, if that’s a concern.”
When is it not?
“Thanks, Mark,” I chuckle. “I really appreciate you calling and I look forward to it.”
With a round of Merry Christmases, Mark Holloway’s voice is gone as quickly as it appeared and I’m once again left standing in the middle of this perfect snow globe house.
I turn around, suddenly rendered speechless by the impromptu events of the last five minutes. Sergei turns to me with curiosity.
“Mark Holloway.” I clear my throat. “A renowned therapist—Colson’s therapist—just called and offered me a position in his practice.” Then the realization hits. “A partnership.”
“Will you accept?” he asks, stoic as ever.
I can’t help but smile to myself. I should’ve known Sergei wouldn’t be jumping up and down with excitement like Brett would be if I told her the same news. He gets straight to the point, and even though I find that comforting, I’m still trying to get used to it.
“Yes,” I say softly, still unsure whether to believe it or not. “I did.”
I accepted a job offer, on the spot, 1,300 miles away. It’s so surreal.
“Wait.” I suddenly snap out of my stupor. “Why did Holloway call me?”
“Because you’re good at your job.” Sergei says it like I should already know. “And I told him as such,” he adds with nonchalance.
My eyes round in shock. “You? But…how would you know Mark was looking for a new partner? How could you know any of that?”
“I told you. I listen when people speak. And I heard Lutz tell Brett that Holloway’s partner is moving to Arizona.” He rises from the sofa and takes a step toward me. “This is what you need, no?”
A tiny smile breaks through my confusion. Colson told Brett about Holloway’s partner? That can only mean…
Colson’s still going to therapy.
He promised me he would, but I never gave him a stipulation for how long. He made that decision himself. I give a shake of my head, trying to compose myself as the emotions pour forth.
“Yes,” I creak out, barely in a whisper. “Yes, Sergei, this is what I need.” I barely get the words out before the tears spill down my cheeks.
“You said you wanted to stay, you miss your best friend, you want to see the baby Lutz grow up, your career is stagnant, but you didn't have any prospects here. Now, I've given you one. So, now, you stay.”
Fuck it, I guess I’m just going to start bawling again right here in the middle of the living room—again.
“Yes, I want to stay. And I want to stay here with you.”
“Yes?” he nods.
I nod back. “Yes.” And without another word, I rush across the living room and throw my arms around his midsection, which is all I can reach on short notice.
He wraps his vast arm span around my shoulders and presses my head to his chest. He feels so good, like I want to stay tangled inside his embrace and never leave.
At first, I think I’m going to throw up from the anxiety, but then I realize it’s just all the adrenaline and all the dopamine crashing together like a whirlpool in my gut.
I don’t care if it seems impulsive. I don’t care what anyone thinks, I don’t care if it’s not logical or rational or what I’m “supposed” to do.
I want to stop settling for the conventional situations that are no longer serving me.
I’ve only known Sergei for a matter of days, but he’s still one of the most authentic people I’ve ever met.
I pull back and look up at him. “I want to stay here tonight. I want to have Christmas with you. Then I want you to come home with me for New Year's Day. And after that…” A wave of warmth rushes through my chest. “We can come home...together. Would that be alright?”
“You came home the last time I fetched you from the airport,” he declares.
“But, as I said, I have no desire to keep you from your family. I will prove it to you by going with you to meet them in person. I will also take care of the arrangements to move all your belongings, including your books. I assume there are many.”
A smile tugs at my cheeks. The idea of spending a hectic and chaotic holiday with my family probably makes Sergei’s skin crawl, but he’s nothing if not blunt and service-driven. Maybe his love language is the same as mine.
Sergei reaches for me again, cupping my face as he dips down with a kiss that steals all the oxygen from my lungs. “I have to go,” he says when he finally pulls back. “I’ll be back soon.”
I knit my brow in confusion. “Go where?” The last time he left me here by myself, things most decidedly went off the rails.
“Outside,” he replies. “I’ll find a tree, bring it in here, and you show me how you will decorate it.”
“Now? You would go out and get a tree for tonight, just for me to decorate?”
“You want another tree? I will go get five. I told you I would give you as many Christmases as you want. But one tree is enough. More would be an environmental disaster. And too many needles.”
I’m barely able to stifle my laugh. That figures, one of the only things Sergei Mikhailov is passionate about is forest conservation. But I agree with him about the pine needles. My need for cleanliness and order would never allow it.
I grab his arm before he can turn away. “I’ll come with you. Just give me a second to call my mom and let her know I won’t be arriving tonight.”
With a nod, he disappears down the hallway and into the bedroom to get dressed before embarking on a search for the perfect Christmas tree.
Was it all a dream? Did I imagine a new life materialize before my eyes in the past 15 minutes?
Apparently, not, since I don’t wake up with a start when my phone begins ringing again. It’s Brett, and it doesn’t feel like a coincidence that she called at this exact moment, so I don’t waste any time in answering.
“Brett, hey...Yes, I’m alright…I know, absolutely crazy. I’ll tell you all about it. Listen, I was just about to call my mom because I, um, I’m not going home today. I’m staying…How long?”
My eyes wander down the hallway, to Sergei in the bedroom, pulling a shirt over his head.
He flips his hair free of the collar, letting it fall over his shoulders.
Because he’s staying home today. He’s staying home with me today.
A burst of warmth permeates my chest and radiates to the rest of my body, and all I can think about is how it finally feels like I’m where I’m supposed to be.
“I’m staying a long time…”
In the mountains, wrapped in the silence with him.
“Forever.”