Chapter 27 #2
I tested the knob and found it unlocked, so I slowly pushed it in and stepped inside.
The room was a riot of pink and white lace, a little princess bedroom that I’d have mocked back in the day.
In one corner, a white vanity was strewn with makeup and hot rollers.
Dresses and suits were heaped on the bed.
But the room was empty.
My heart dropped—she’d already left for the church. I was too late.
And then, she was walking out of the closet, already in her wedding dress but with the curlers still in her hair.
My entire body stilled, and a glorious feeling rang through me. It was like music, but without the sound.
She froze at the sight of me. I saw relief pass through her, but then there was something else. A shadow like anger. She set her mouth in a straight line, went over to her vanity, and started unraveling the curlers.
“Who let you in here?”
She said it like I was some cat burglar. I knew I deserved it, but it still hurt like hell.
“Nobody. I climbed up the tree.” I pointed toward the open doorway of the terrace.
She looked down at my feet, bare once again, like the first time I came to her years ago. A little smile poked through, and she exhaled loudly, “Oh, Lou.” There she was. The Hess I knew. But then her face hardened, and she was gone once again. “What in the world are you doing here?”
“I just need to ask you a question.”
She arched an eyebrow. “You need to ask me a question.”
“Yes. Just one question. And then I’ll go. I swear.”
She paused for a moment. “Okay. Fine. What is it?”
Here it was. The moment of truth. “Do you love him?”
Her face contorted. “Do I love him? That’s your question?” She waited as if I might respond. “How dare you come here and ask me that. On my wedding day. You’re exactly the same, aren’t you? Still only thinking of yourself.” She turned back toward the mirror and yanked violently on a curler.
“Please, just tell me if you love him. If you do, I’ll go away. I promise.”
“What does it matter, Lou? It’s none of your business. You made sure it was none of your business. That was your decision.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I hurt you. It hurt me, too. You don’t know how hard it was.”
This made her even more mad. “I don’t know? I don’t know how hard it was? Have you lost your mind?” She shot hairspray at the curls, slashing the can through the air and filling it with toxic fumes.
I was getting frustrated. She was taking it all wrong. This was not how it was supposed to go. “Hess, goddammit, do you love him? Do you love the rat bastard? Just answer the goddamn question!”
“NO!! OKAY? I DON’T LOVE HIM,” she screeched. I’d never heard her raise her voice like that.
Her shoulders drooped, and she looked back at the mirror, gently combing out an unruly curl. “Of course I don’t love him. But this is my life now,” she said quietly, tears collecting at the corners of her eyes. “I think you should go.”
I went over to her and got on my knees, but I didn’t touch her.
I sensed that would be a mistake. “This doesn’t have to be your life.
” She turned her head and looked into my eyes as I continued.
“I made a mistake. I never should have asked you to go. I love you, Hess. You are my great love, and I want to be together. For the rest of our lives.”
She turned away, her voice now thick with tears. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that. I used to think you’d show up one day and realize your mistake. But you never came, and I moved on from that fantasy. I can’t risk feeling like that again. It was too painful.”
“I understand. I really do. But it will be different this time. We won’t be just you and me, hiding in my bedroom at Clayton’s. I want to be a family. A real family. Like you wanted.”
“What do you mean? How can we be a real family?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Hess whipped back toward me. “What?”
“I’m going to have a baby, and I want it to be yours. I mean, it is yours. Already. He’s your baby.”
Her eyes were shining, but it wasn’t just sorrow now. “He?”
“It’s a little boy, and you’re his mama. I just know it.”
Her expression hardened. “Now, wait a minute. How did you get pregnant? Who is the father?”
My breath hitched. I wasn’t prepared to talk about Tate. I’d forgotten he was a part of this at all. “The father is a man named Tate Larsen. We were sort of together for the last few years.”
Hess narrowed her eyes. “I’ve heard. Won’t he be upset if you take his baby away from him?” Her voice had returned to its icy tone.
“You don’t have to worry about him.”
Her face reddened. “So you’re still treating people like dirt, huh? No thank you, I don’t want any part in this. You need to leave now.”
“Stop. Just listen. You don’t have to worry about him because he’s dead. Overdosed. A few weeks ago.”
Hess paled. “Good Jesus. I didn’t know.” We sat there in silence for a few beats. She had avoided making eye contact since I’d arrived, but now she really looked at me, her gaze reaching deep inside to my little demon child heart.
She got on her knees with her wedding dress pooling around her, and she pulled me into her arms. I laid my head on her chest, and the glorious feeling rang through me once again.
“He was a complicated man, but I loved him. Not like I love you, but like a real friend who truly knew me.” I paused, imagining if Tate had been able to meet Hess. “I think he’d be happy for his baby to have a mama like you.” Hess’s chest contracted against my cheek, and I held her tighter.
When I finally pulled back, she deflated a bit and looked in the mirror. Even with mascara running down her cheeks, she was still a goddess. “Good lord, Lou. I’m supposed to get married in an hour. Daddy had two hundred lobsters flown in from Maine.”
“Fuck ’em.”
She laughed. “That’s not very nice. You know, the rat bastard isn’t such a rat bastard. He’s a perfectly fine person.”
“I’m sure he’s not a total devil if you decided to spend eternity with him.” I tried to get real serious. “But this is bigger than other people, and bigger than lobsters. This is us, Hess. This is everything.”
A knock came from the door, and then an older woman’s elegant voice trilled, “Hestia, darling? It’s time to go to the church. Are you ready?” The door started to open, but Hess flew across the room and slammed it shut. She turned the lock.
“What on earth? What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing, Mother! I need a couple more minutes to myself. I’ll be down in just a few!”
“Young lady, you open this door right now. What has gotten into you?”
Hess locked eyes with me and whispered, “What are we going to do?”
“Is someone in there with you? Let me in this instant!” the mother crowed.
“We can leave the way I came.” I flashed a wily grin at Hess and gestured toward the terrace.
“But you’re pregnant!”
“I was pregnant when I came up just a minute ago. And besides, it ain’t much of a baby yet. He’ll be fine.”
A deeper voice came from behind the door. “Hestia Walker. Open this door at once. It’s time to go to the church.”
“Just a minute!”
Hess and I ran out to the terrace. I jumped on to the branch and eased from limb to limb, going a bit more slowly this time, knowing it would make Hess less nervous.
When I got to the bottom, I watched as she wobbled in heels on the top limb with her wedding dress bunched around her legs.
As she moved toward the trunk, the tulle snagged on a branch and tore in half.
She cursed and tied the rest into a knot between her legs, kicked off the heels, and swung the rest of the way down like an ape.
As she touched down below the tree, someone yelled from the driveway that they’d spotted Hess. We took off in our bare feet across the lawn and made it to the woods with a few of the staff chasing us.
But they were no match for a country girl and Hess’s long goddess legs.
We moved swiftly through the trees, floating on a joy that I could barely contain.
When we reached my car, Hess got in on the driver’s side out of habit, but I pushed her over and took the wheel.
I floored it, quickly putting distance between us and the property, and she shrieked as she tore off the rest of the tulle and threw it out the window.
Moments later, I skidded into my driveway, and we ran from the car to the house.
Before the door had even closed behind us, I jumped into Hess’s arms and wrapped my legs around her.
She pushed me against the wall and we kissed ferociously, painfully, trying to get too close too fast, jamming years of desire into the space of a moment.
Hess pulled her head from mine, and we caught our breaths. I put my mouth gently on hers, savoring it this time, the feeling of her washing over me with each small movement.
I guided her toward the bedroom at the back of the house with my legs still wrapped around her waist. She laid me down on the bed, and I was eighteen again, finding real love for the first time in motel rooms sweltering with summer heat.
I flipped over on top of her, and I was twenty-one again, filled with the confidence of someone who thinks love will never leave them.
I bent down and kissed her, and I was twenty-seven, scarred by heartbreak and ever closer to death, someone who vowed never to leave this woman as long as I walked the earth.