Chapter 38 #2
There was wily evil staring back at her. It was him.
She shouted, “Let’s make a deal, you son of a bitch.”
He smiled. “What does thou have to offer?”
“I’ll give you whatever you want—my voice, my money, my fame.”
“But I do not desire those things.”
“What about my life? I’ll give you my life, if you will spare my daughter’s.”
He laughed and shook his head. Then he leaned down and whispered into her ear, “Darling, I already have your life.”
She shook violently, the sound slithering through her veins like a cold snake. A crowd formed around her, and she tried to untangle herself, but their palms held her down. They thought she was resisting purification. They wouldn’t let her turn away from the blinding light of the Lord.
She thrust upward, attempting to escape, but they just held her down harder, the panic rising—
Suddenly, the weight of the hands disappeared, except for one gentle pair, rubbing my back and whispering into my ear, Rhea. It’s okay. I’m here.
I looked up and saw Hess’s beautiful, comforting face. The cave was empty now, and morning light streamed through the entrance.
I breathed heavily, my heart thumping in my chest, and I took a moment to try to ground myself, using the icy stone beneath me to cool my blood and slow my heartbeat. Hess quietly watched me but didn’t intervene.
When I was calm, she led me out of the forest to the car parked on the side of the road. She pulled the leaves and twigs from my hair, wrapped me in a blanket from the trunk, then fed me water and a granola bar. As I chewed, we sat there in silence with the car doors closed to the outside.
“Rhea?”
I didn’t have the energy to respond.
“Are you okay?”
Hess’s concern was heavy, weighing me down even deeper into the seat. “I’m fine,” I answered weakly.
“You scared me half to death. I thought you’d gotten lost in the woods, that you might have fallen or worse—I spent all night driving up and down these roads looking for you…”
“I’m sorry,” I said, avoiding her eye. I never asked her to come with me; I didn’t have the energy to manage her feelings right now.
“Thank God I went back to Hasil’s. We thought you might be at the cave church, and Enoch gave me directions.” She paused, then whispered, “What happened in there?”
Hess would never believe that my mother and I had become one for a moment, that we’d entered one time, one life. “At the crossroads, it didn’t work. He didn’t answer me. I thought if I found the church, maybe he would answer me there.” I hoped that was enough. “But I was wrong.”
I could feel her staring at me, trying to meet my eye, but I kept looking forward. She exhaled. “All right. Do you want to go to the hospital? They should probably look you over if you’ve been outside all night.”
“No. I’m fine.”
She looked out the window. “Let’s at least find a hotel where you can rest, then.”
I didn’t have time to lay in bed pretending to sleep, so I could prove I was normal to Hess. That ship had sailed. “No. I said I’m fine. What I need is to find out where Belle went after she left the church. We still have three days unaccounted for.”
Hess opened her mouth, then closed it. “Fine.” She paused, then continued, “When I went back to Hasil’s, Enoch told me something he’d forgotten—during Lou’s last visit, she went to that church, too.
Rumor had it something scared her real bad during the service, and she ran off.
Someone saw her get picked up by the police out on the highway. ”
It lined up with what I’d seen. “Okay, let’s start there.”
We returned to the police station and asked the sheriff if Ernestine Arwood had ever been arrested.
He disappeared for a while and eventually came back with an old brown accordion file filled with papers.
He opened it on the desk in front of us and scanned through the pages until he stopped on one.
He read to himself for a bit, his mouth moving slightly, and then he said,
“Looks like on July 20, 1982, Ernestine Arwood was picked up walking along the highway a few miles from Craw Valley. She was dirty and disoriented and making ‘crazy claims.’ They took her to the hospital where she was committed to the psychiatric ward.” He flipped through a few more pages, then stopped again.
“A report came in three days later that she’d left without proper discharge.
We kept an eye out for her, but she was never spotted again. ”
I imagined waking up in a room alone. Finding my wrists and ankles encased in thick cuffs and chained to the bedposts. The organ-melting dread when I realized I couldn’t move.
I had read horror stories online of people committed against their will by family members, and hospitals still using restraints even now, leaving patients for hours on end to wet themselves.
Forcing them to take medications that kept them near comatose.
I couldn’t imagine how bad it was back then, in a rural place like this. It must have been torture for her.
“Rhea?” I felt a hand on my arm and looked up to see Hess’s concerned expression once again.
“Yes?”
“I was trying to get your attention—”
“Sorry, I zoned out.” I tried to smile, but Hess didn’t return it. “What were you saying?”
“I asked if you wanted to go to the hospital.”
What?
“To see if there’s anyone that remembers her, or if they have any records of Lou’s time there.”
It’s a trick. She’s trying to trap me.
“You can’t just get us the records?” I asked the sheriff.
He shook his head. “No, hon, you’d have to do that. But it don’t matter either way—that hospital shut down in the mid-eighties. It’s a Walmart now. I doubt you’ll be able to find anything.”
I deflated, relief and despair mixing like cold and heat in my gut.
As we made our way across the parking lot, no longer in view of the sheriff, I felt the facade I’d been holding up begin to melt into the asphalt, my body evaporating again, my feet no longer connecting to the pavement. “Can we go somewhere private?” I asked Hess. “I need to regroup.”
“Yes, of course. We can go to a hotel.”
I imagined walking into the lobby, speaking to the front desk clerk, the other guests watching me. I shook my head. “No, I need to be away from people.”
Hess paused, deliberating. “My cabin is not too far from here. About an hour.”
“The cabin?” I asked.
Hess nodded.
I had always thought of the room in the cabin as a place that only existed in my mind, like a tiny dark compartment in my brain. “Why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t thinking.”
I could taste the lie. “Okay, thanks, that sounds better.”
Hess looked away, as if she regretted bringing it up. “I have to warn you, though… I haven’t been back in decades. It’s probably a wreck.” She paused. “I could just drive us back to Nashville now. We could be there by nightfall.”
“No, it’s okay. I want to see the cabin.” I tried to catch her eye, but Hess wouldn’t look at me. What’s at this cabin? “Look, I can go alone. Why don’t you go home? I’m sure you’re tired, and you’ve already done so much to help me.”
Hess seemed to snap out of whatever had held her, and she finally met my eye. “No, no. I’m fine. Of course I’ll go with you.”