Chapter 9 #2
“Blood?” Winder crossed the room in a few steps, kneeling at my feet. “What do you mean blood?”
I could’ve killed him on the spot. “I tried telling you earlier, but you were more concerned about me seeing my doctor. I’m having a nightmare.
Some things in it change, but for the most part, it’s the same.
I’m standing over someone I’ve just killed, or am about to kill.
Then I black out, and I wake up in my bed.
But every time I wake up, I expect to be covered in blood, and I’m not.
Because I’m fairly certain I’m insane. I have to be losing my mind, right?
To actually think that I’m covered in blood.
” I buried my face in my hands, trying to shut out all the memories of the dream that was quickly ruining my life.
I felt Winder’s hand rest on my knee, lightly, like he thought he was going to scare me off. “I know what I just said. But you can’t go home now, Blaire. I need you to stay here until we can get all of this straightened out.”
Half of me was relieved that I wouldn’t have to go back there. The other half of me wanted to run. I pulled my face from my hands. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you’re right.” He sighed, sitting back on his heels. My leg felt naked without his touch. “Something is going on. If it was just a break and enter, yeah, I could come and make sure your locks were okay. But I can’t send you home.”
“So, you want me to stay here?” I pointed to the other side of the door, where a chant for someone named “Tommy” could be heard. I waited for him to disagree.
A scowl marred his full lips. “No. I need you to stay in my room, at least when I’m not here. A few days, max. I’ll see what I can find out from some people I know. Once I’m confident it’s just a freak series of coincidences, I’ll walk you home myself.”
“Okay, so let me get this straight.” The familiar knot in my stomach was beginning to coil, a lack of control in an unknown situation. “First you wanted me to go home. But now you want me to stay here.”
“Yes. Do you really want to go home?”
I ignored the question, barreling on. “You want me to stay. In your room. With you. In a house where you don’t trust your roommates.”
“I don’t trust them.” Annoyance dripped from his words.
“But I’m supposed to trust you.”
He shook his head. “You shouldn’t trust me either, Blaire. Don’t trust anyone with a tongue able to lie. However, when I say I will do my best to keep you safe, I mean that. I won’t hurt you. And I won’t let anyone else hurt you either.”
I pulled my knees up to my chest, trying to steady my racing heart and shaky hands.
I needed steady ground and purchase to cling to.
Right now, I didn’t have either. “Why me? You barely know me. You don’t like me.
” The words spilled from my mouth, a confession I would chalk up to sheer tiredness.
My cheeks flushed, and I was grateful for the dimly lit room.
Winder was silent, tapping a long finger against his forearm. Every time his finger jumped, it made the snake on his arm look like it was alive, moving down his flesh.
“What aren’t you telling me?” I went on. I didn’t like the way this conversation was going. In fact, I’d rather go back and start the last twenty-four hours over, to when my apartment was safe.
“I’m telling you exactly what you need to know.” Something shifted behind his blue eyes.
A lie. Winder was lying. “Tell me what you’re keeping from me or I’ll walk out that door right now.”
“And go where?” he snapped, calling my bluff. “You going to go sleep in your office? Why haven’t you just called the cops if you’re so concerned?”
“Because I don’t trust the fucking cops!” I screamed.
Winder eyes widened, and he took a step back. “You don’t trust the cops,” he repeated.
“That’s what I said.” Anger still rolled beneath my skin. How dare he assume anything about me? “You shouldn’t look surprised. I doubt you have a good relationship with the police either.”
He shrugged, watching me carefully. “I keep my distance, and they keep theirs. But you…”
“Me what? Because you saw me wear a nice skirt once with my hair done, you think I should trust everyone and everything?” I scoffed. “Grow up.”
“Watch your tone,” he snapped. “You can be angry. Don’t disrespect me. I only meant that people generally trust the police, unless they have a specific reason not to.”
Glaring, I tried to inject as much venom into my voice as I could.
“If you must know, my parents died in a break and enter gone wrong. The cops dropped the ball on both the evidence, and me. He went free, and I ended up in foster care. No matter how prepared you think you are, safety is always an illusion. Great parents, and I still ended up in foster care, alone. Wonderful neighborhood, and my parents still ended up dead. Situations like that usually don’t leave a great taste in your mouth. ”
When Winder spoke again, his voice was gentler. “No. I can imagine it wouldn’t.”
His pity tasted sour, and I didn’t like it.
I didn’t need this shit. I got to my feet, pulling myself as tall as I could, but I still only met his chest. “If you don’t want to tell me the truth, whatever.
Fine. That’s your prerogative. But don’t think I need your help. I’m more resilient than I look.”
“I’m not saying you aren’t. I’m merely pointing out you’re the one that came to me.”
He had me there, but I wasn’t about to admit it. I glared at him, and he glowered back. I wasn’t sure what it was about Winder that made me feel like I could go toe to toe with him, like I could demand what I wanted. I was going to go with the fact that I didn’t care about impressing him.
“Fine. I was trying to protect you, but if you’re so desperate to know....” He sighed, as if whatever he was going to say next physically pained him, each word the slice of a sharp knife. “We might not be friends, but you and I have known each other for a long time.”