Chapter 27
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
WINDER
It was a strange contradiction, to have everything you’d ever wanted within reach, yet be terrified of it being ripped away at any given moment.
Two thoughts kept cycling in my head, a mantra I wanted to erase. One, I kept expecting Blaire to realize who I really was, and to run away without a goodbye. Two, I was petrified Conrad was going to storm in and demand what was owed to him.
Blaire still snored beside me, and I shifted her slightly so I could roll her off my arm. I touched her shoulder.
“Baby, we have to get up. I have some people we need to meet with.”
She blinked up at me, still drifting in a dream world. Hopefully they had been good dreams, considering she hadn’t stirred beside me all night. At least, I hoped she hadn’t.
“Where are we going?” she murmured.
“I spoke with a couple people who might know where we can find Conrad. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather find him before he finds us.” I rolled off the bed, kicking through the piles of clothes on the floor. I needed to tidy at some point, but my brain had been a bit preoccupied.
Blaire sat up, red hair spilling over her shoulder, shining in the early sun streaming in through the window.
“I’m not going to lie and say I’m not scared, because I am.
But I think I’d rather deal with it head on instead of living the rest of my life in fear.
If we meet him first, maybe we can use the element of surprise to our advantage. ”
I grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her off the bed. “That’s my girl.”
She stood, looking down at a T-shirt of mine she wore. “I think I’m going to need some different clothes.”
“As much as I love having you in my clothes, and I love seeing you in my clothes, I agree.” I ran my gaze over her smooth skin, lingering where my shirt stopped.
“No short dresses.” Blaire’s smile was infectious this morning.
Maybe she felt it, too. The feeling that change was in the air. Or maybe I was just delusional from sleeping next to her all night.
“No short dresses,” I agreed. “Luckily, I grabbed you some things when I was out yesterday. I was a little too distracted by everything to tell you.”
I found the shopping bag I had dropped the day before, tossing it to her. Blaire rummaged through the clothes.
“I had to guess your size.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “And I’m sure they aren’t what you would normally wear, but I thought you’d be kind of sick of wearing my stuff by now.”
“They’re perfect.” She smiled up at me, and tugged off my shirt.
It was too much to look at her perfect body in front of me, the smooth lines of her curves, and the way her hip had the cutest little dimple I wanted to press my lips to. I needed to look away before I was caught in her trap forever.
Instead of admiring Blaire’s body like I so desperately wanted to, I stuffed my hands in my pockets and looked out the window.
“Where are we going today?” Her voice was muffled as I pictured her pulling the shirt over her head.
“We’re going to meet an old friend of mine, Adam. He’s still in Conrad’s inner circle. If anyone knows where Conrad is, he will.” My eyes wanted to watch Blaire getting dressed so badly it was almost unbearable.
“I’m ready.”
I whipped around. The jeans and sweater I’d chosen weren’t the best, but they fit her better than my oversized shirts she’d been wearing for days. “You’re beautiful.”
Blaire gave me a crooked smile. “I’m really not sure what you see in me, but I’ll take it.”
“One day, I will go into exact detail about what I see in you. Unfortunately, right now, we don’t have the time I would need.” I reached for her hand, pulling her beside me. “But I promise you, I will.”
I heard from my sources that Adam was going to be down by the river today, meeting with someone I didn’t know, and didn’t care about.
I just needed to make sure we got there before he disappeared into thin air, a talent only he had.
He was nearly impossible to track down. His fear of the government meant he didn’t trust them not to bug his phone, and he switched up burner phones on a regular basis. I wasn’t even sure where he lived.
The walk to the car was less stressful this time, seeing as we were minus a dead body.
Blaire was quiet, lost in her own little world, and I didn’t want to disturb whatever thoughts she was processing.
We all needed time like that—quiet, away from the prying minds of others.
I wished I could give her actual alone time, but this was the best I could do for right now.
Silence accompanied us the entire drive, until I parked along the river’s edge, close to the path that cut through the grass.
Blaire stared at the river, a completely different color to when we disposed of Leon. The blue was bright, pure and clear, nothing giving away what lurked beneath its still waters.
“You okay?” I asked.
Blaire nodded. “I will be, I think. I’m still trying to figure out how to separate myself from the action.”
I understood that feeling all too well. I was just about to respond, when a flash of black caught my eye. Adam stood under a tree, looking toward the water. Even not seeing his face, I’d recognize the oversized leather jacket anywhere.
“Come on.”
We got out of the car, and I pulled Blaire close to me. “Adam is what I would’ve been if I hadn’t gotten out when I did. But he’ll do whatever it takes for his next fix. This time, when I tell you to be careful, could you please listen?”
“I promise. No one will end up in a bathtub tonight.”
I rolled my eyes. “Not what I meant. Let me put it to you this way. Behave, or I’ll teach you how to behave tonight.”
Blaire rolled her shoulders next to me, obviously bothered by my words.
“Good girl,” I whispered, with a quick squeeze of her hand. Then in a louder voice, I called out to Adam, “Hey, man. Long time no see.”
Adam spun on the spot, visibly trying to figure out who was speaking to him. When he realized it was me, and who was next to me, everything clicked. “Winder.”
He hadn’t changed since I’d seen him last, still looking like a kid playing grown-up in his dad’s jacket. A patch covered one eye, an old injury I never bothered to ask about. A worn beanie covered his head. His smell hit us before we even got close, and Blaire wrinkled her nose.
We stood in front of each other, sizing the other up. I made sure I was the first to speak. “I’m guessing you know why we’re here.”
Adam wheezed. “It’s not exactly like you’ve been subtle. Asking about Conrad is going to get you killed. You of all people should know that.”
“Unfortunately, he’s left me with no choice.” I tipped my head toward Blaire. “Can you tell me what he wants with Blaire?”
“I could. But is that really what you want to know?”
A lesson I learned early on in this game was that everything had a price. Adam knew the information he had was valuable, and he wasn’t going to give anything up without something in return.
I sighed. “I have a new strain of green from a supplier out in Kentucky. I’ll give you a cut of it, for personal use only, if you tell me what I need to know.”
“And what is it that you need to know?” Adam stuffed his bony hands into his pockets. “I’m not a mind reader, Winder.”
“And I don’t have time for your fucking games,” I snapped. “Tell me what you know about Blaire, and what Conrad wants with her.”
Adam’s gaze rolled toward Blaire, who stiffened beside me. “She’s prettier than I thought she would be.”
He looked Blaire up and down, in a way I didn’t appreciate. If he wasn’t careful, he would end up missing both eyes instead of just one. “Can we get back to the issue at hand, please,” I gritted through clenched teeth.
Blaire touched the back of my hand. “Don’t,” she whispered. “It’s fine.”
“It’s not fucking fine that he’s looking at you like a piece of meat.” I saw red, taking over every bit of my sight. I forgot how much I fucking hated Adam.
Adam coughed out a laugh. “If you think I’m looking at her like a piece of meat, wait until you see what Conrad has planned for her. You’ll be wishing I was the one looking at her then, because I don’t think she’ll be quite as pretty once he makes her pay for everything she’s done.”
Without thinking, I reached out my hands to snap Adam’s neck, and I would’ve done it without a second thought if Blaire hadn’t grabbed my wrist.
“Winder,” she snapped. “Don’t. Don’t do this. He isn’t worth it.”
I took a deep breath, reminding myself of her touch. She was right. He wasn’t fucking worth it. But Blaire was, and for her, I’d keep myself in check. As long as Adam was fucking respectful. “What do you mean everything she’s done?”
I already knew what he would tell us, and I was certain Blaire did, too. But waiting for confirmation like that was like waiting at the top of a rollercoaster you didn’t want to be on—one stuck at the top of the first hill.
Adam grinned, mouth full of yellowing teeth.
I wanted him to stop smiling. “Don’t you know your own girlfriend?
Shame on you, Winder. And here I thought you were smart.
Little Miss Blaire here has been taking down Conrad’s inner circle, one by one.
She was sneaky at first, and I don’t think Conrad could confirm it was her one way or the other.
But you got sloppy, didn’t you?” He wagged his finger at Blaire, and the instinct to snap it was overwhelming.
But I wouldn’t, because Blaire needed me right now. I couldn’t be focused on my own anger when she was next to me hearing these awful things about herself. With a warning glare at Adam, I snapped my eyes down to my fiery girl.
Her hands balled into fists, and I just knew she was digging her fingernails into her palms to stop herself from breaking down right there and then. She wouldn’t do that in front of Adam. She wouldn’t let herself.
“How many?” she asked.
“What was that, sweetheart?” Adam leered, getting too close to Blaire for comfort.
I took a step forward, intending to push him back, but Blaire stopped me once more.
Her face was angry, but clear. Adam’s words confirmed what she already knew, but didn’t shock her. I wasn’t sure I had ever been so proud of her strength. “How many have I killed?”
Those words had to gut her, and yet her voice didn’t shake or tremble.
Adam’s grin widened, exposing the missing tooth. “At the last count, seven. But who knows the real number, eh, sweetheart?”
“Where can I find Conrad?” she asked.
This time, Adam hesitated.
Blaire cocked her head, taking a step closer to Adam. “What? Is Conrad that scared of me that he doesn’t want me to know where he lives? I don’t know who would be afraid of me. Do you?”
Adam stepped back. “Listen. I don’t get involved in this shit. I’m just the messenger.”
“A messenger who knows where Conrad lives. Or at least where he works. Where he spends his time. You have to have some way to get in touch with him, since you don’t seem to like using a phone.
” Blaire’s voice was icy, and as much as I wanted to help, I didn’t want to interrupt whatever spell she was casting in front of us. “Do you want to know a secret, Adam?”
Adam swallowed, and I couldn’t stop the smile from crossing my lips. That’s my fucking girl, I thought. My fucking girl.
“I don’t remember killing those people. Not.
A. Single. One. Because it was so easy to kill them, that I thought I was dreaming.
You tell me I’ve killed seven people. Seven lives I’ve taken without remembering.
But here’s the thing. If you don’t tell me what I need to know, I will remember killing you.
I’ll make sure to remember every little second of it. ”
Fuck, she was hot as sin when she was like this. In control. Powerful. It was fucking addictive, and I needed a taste.
“I…I don’t know. I don’t know. I swear.” Adam threw his hands up in front of himself, like those bony things would protect him from Blaire. “I meet with another man at a designated location every week. They tell me where to meet on a burner phone. It changes every week. I don’t know where he is.”
“Think hard before you answer again.” Blaire stood toe to toe with Adam, larger than her and yet currently scared shitless. “Think real hard.”
His eyes grew as wide as they possibly could, and he stammered out unintelligible syllables
Blaire smiled, sharp as a blade, and Adam finally spat out something that made sense. “He has a room at the back of the club, Circuit. In the warehouse district. I have no idea when or even if he’ll be there. I just know he’s had me meet him there more than once.”
It wasn’t as solid of an answer as I would’ve liked, but it was obviously the best we were going to get out of him.
“Was that really so bad?” Blaire reached out her hand to stroke Adam’s chin, and he visibly quaked with her touch.
Holy fuck. I was going to die, right here. Right now. If she touched me like she touched Adam, I would splinter into a million pieces.
“He’s been tracking you for years,” Adam spit out, his words running together. “You only became a problem when he realized you remembered.”
She froze. “Remembered what?”
Remembered what? We were so close to the truth, maybe this was it.
Adam shook his head. “I don’t know. I only overheard that. Please don’t hurt me.”
Never mind.
Blaire left Adam, standing at my side once more. She reached for my hand, and I gladly grasped it. Information in hand, I started back toward the car, but Blaire stopped in her tracks.
“Oh, Adam. One more thing,” she called over her shoulder.
Adam didn’t respond. I’m sure he was left as speechless as I felt, wondering what the fuck had just taken place.
“Tell Conrad I can’t wait to see him again, face to face.”
With that, she pulled on my hand leading me back to the car.
Blaire didn’t break the entire time we slid into our seats, or even when the door closed.
“Can you drive somewhere else?” she asked.
“Of course.”
I drove us toward an old park I knew, one with a useless rusty playground that was usually empty. She held herself together the whole drive over. I kept waiting for the cracks in her armor, for the emotions to radiate from behind her skin, but there was nothing.
Blaire acted perfectly intact, until I killed the engine in the deserted parking lot.
It was then her shoulders began to shake, a quiet sob escaping from behind her hand.
“Blaire, baby, talk to me.” I turned in my seat to rub her trembling shoulders, squeezing her arms. “Tell me what hurts.”
She looked up at me with wide eyes, tears streaming down her face. “I don’t even know who I am when I talk like that. When I act like that. I told you I was trying to figure out how to separate myself from the action. But how do I do that when I don’t even know who I am?”
I wiped the tears from her beautiful face. “You let me tell you exactly who you are.”