Chapter 19
Beauty
Theo’s chest rises and falls beneath me as we lay in his bed, candlelight flickering around us. He feathers his fingers along my arm, my skin tingling from the delicate and tender touch.
Despite the lack of light, peace surrounds us, a quiet comfort that can only be found after chaotic unrest. While I want to live in the moment, my mind wanders back to the books I found. I have questions, but if I bring it up, it might ruin the tranquil state of peace we’ve cultivated.
Theo has two sides. One side is molten, deadly.
The other brings hope and life to the lifeless.
To me. I can’t remember the last time I was wrapped in arms that weren’t my own.
His embrace offers protection, a twisted sort of safety from the loneliness that plagues my entire existence.
I’ve been lying to myself for too long. Everyone needs someone.
Whether it’s to hold, to kiss, or simply to touch, to talk to about nothing and everything.
Theo shifts his position, his unguarded gaze sweeping across my sated features.
“You’re so beautiful, Safia,” he whispers, caressing my cheek with the back of his warm hand. “You blind me.”
I swallow. “I don't think that's true.”
He frowns. “You don’t think you’re beautiful? Safia…”
I sigh, rolling my eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”
He sits up against the headboard and peers down at me, curious. “Then what do you mean?”
I roll on my side and rest my temple on the palm of my left hand. “You said I blind you. I don’t think that’s true.”
He perks a brow. “No?”
“No.” My gaze flits into the darkness because I can’t look at him when I unlock my heart. It’s too intimate. Far more intimate than sex. “To be blind is to be unable to see. But you see me, Theo. You’ve seen me since the first day we met. I don’t blind you, if anything, you blind me.”
His muscles tighten under the comforter. “Do you feel like you don’t know me?”
I shrug. “I know as much as you allow me to know. And that’s fine. I’m not entitled to your entire story. I’m not entitled to anything. But…but I do wish you’d tell me more.”
Theo tilts his head. “I might see you, Safia, but you are still an enigma to me. You know more about me than I do about you.” I open my mouth to protest, but he doesn’t allow me to cut in.
“I’ve told you about Jaime, the twins…my life growing up.
All I know about your history is what’s available to everyone on the internet.
If you want more of my story, Safia, don’t you think you should share your own? ”
I expel a deep breath, sitting upright. “My story is rather boring, if I’m being honest. Other than my accolades, I have nothing exciting to share. I haven’t been on adventures. I don’t have cute, funny stories from college. I have my research and my work. That’s who I am, Theo.”
“There is nothing boring about you, Safia,” Theo states with unwavering resolution.
“You might be one of the most interesting women I’ve met in my whole life.
” He reaches out, taking my fidgeting hand in his.
“And when I said you’re beautiful, Safia, I didn’t mean your appearance.
” My pulse quickens as he stares at me with unrelenting administration.
“Your mind, little lamb, that’s what’s beautiful. ”
He can feel it. He can feel the way my heart hammers. His fingers rest against the pulse point on my wrist, and he can fucking feel it. How his words affect me. How I melt under his touch.
“In that case…” My breath catches in the back of my throat. “I think you’re beautiful, too.”
A glint of sadness flashes in his eyes. “Let’s just hope that the beauty you see doesn’t fade.”
My brows furrow. “Why would it?”
Theo forces a small smile. “Because beauty is subjective, Safia. It depends on truth and circumstance. And those two factors are constantly shifting, they’re never static. What you find beautiful one day, might disgust you the next.”
I study him intently.
Is this another subtle warning?
“I don’t follow…”
He sighs. “Forget it. I’m just…tired.” He glances at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 2 a.m. “We should go to sleep.”
“Yeah, I’m tired, too.” I chew on the inside of my cheek, stomach fluttering with anxiety. “You’ll stay here tonight, right? With me?”
He smiles at me but the expression is loaded and heavy. “I told you, Safia, I don’t intent on letting you go.”
“I know.” The question slips out, unsanctioned, like a rogue agent. “But what if I wanted to leave, would you let me?”
“I would never force you to stay with me, Safia.” His jaw sets, his eyes dark and consuming.
“But hear me when I say, I intend to make it incredibly difficult for you to walk away.” He cocks his head, gaze dancing across my curves.
A shiver grips my spine. “You’re mine, little lamb. That much I’ve made clear.”
I bite my lip as an insatiable heat collects in my core and time ceases to exist. Mine. Mine. Mine. The words scream at me, begging to be solidified over and over and over again. I’m wanted. He wants me. And I… I want him. I crave him.
“I think…” I sit up, closing the short distance between our bodies, my breaths ragged with desire. I whisper in his ear, “I think you need to prove it, Theodore. Prove to me how much I’m yours.”
He chuckles, a low rumble in his chest as he palms the back of my head, fingers threaded through my hair. He peers down at me, intense and volatile.
“Is that what you want, little lamb? Evidence?”
I close my eyes, nodding as his free hand glides along the apex of my thighs. “Mhmm…” Theo dips a finger inside of me, hissing as he feels how wet I am. “Oh God…”
“I wonder…” His grip on my roots tightens as his fingers conjure a goddamn cyclone in my pussy.
His thumb circles my clit with precise pressure, and I moan, relishing in the devilish sensation.
“How many times do you think I can make you come in five minutes? Hmm?” He quickens his pace, and I bite my lip, legs quivering as he pillages inside me.
My core clenches. Fuck… “You’re so reactive, little lamb. That’s one already.”
With a gleam of corrosive control in his eyes, Theo pushes me down, and the mattress bounces as I fall back.
Blood rushes to my head as I hang over the edge, anticipation bursting through my veins. Aggressively, he loops his arms around my thighs and spreads my legs open.
I scream his name as he dives in, eating my pussy like a starved fucking beast. My back arches, hips bucking as he torments my clit. I writhe in his hold as I ride a delicious wave of release.
“That’s two…” He sits up, slapping my swollen clit, and I yelp. “So fucking wet for me. Just the way I like it.”
I gasp as he snakes both hands around my throat and thrusts inside me.
Oh God. Oh my fucking God.
I struggle for breath as he drives his unyielding cock deeper and deeper, until I can’t think. Until I can’t see.
“Fuck, you take me so well, little lamb. You take my cock so fucking good. So tight. So needy. So fucking pretty. Are you going to come for me, baby? Are you going to squirt all over my fucking cock like a good fucking girl?”
The room spins as he stretches me, owns me, claims me as his own. Every minute that passes, I come one step closer to touching the goddamn sun. Pressure builds inside me, and he feels it. He always knows. There’s no hiding from him. He’s a lion. An apex predator.
“Oh, fuck—yes. Yes, Safia… Come for me. Come on my cock. Fuck.” Theo groans, and I gasp for air as I reach my peak, tightening around him.
He twitches, spilling everything he has deep inside of me.
“Three…” he breathes out, collapsing on me.
“Fuck, Safia… You’re so fucking…” He catches his breath. “Addicting.”
So is he.
I’m hooked.
Gigi blinks as I walk into the staff room, my gait slightly off-kilter.
She snorts. “Jesus, what happened to you?” She tilts her head. “Did someone get a little too lucky?” My face pales, and her eyes immediately widen. “Oh my fuck.” She covers her mouth and gasps. “No way... You and—”
I rush toward her, teeth clenched. “Do not finish that sentence, Giselle. I swear to God.”
She shakes her head, casting me a smirk. “Well, damn. So much for ‘not involved.’”
I close my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
Gigi scoffs. “Seriously? The fact you even have to say that to me is insulting. We’re friends, Safia, I’m not going to buy a fucking megaphone and go parading around the office, airing your private life. Jesus.”
I open my eyes, and she appears genuinely hurt. “I—” A ball of nerves sits in the back of my throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
“Listen, I get it. I was an army brat, never stayed anywhere long enough to make friends, let alone girlfriends, but you can trust me, Saf. I’m not a bitch.” She chuckles. “Despite what your brother might think.”
I grin. “Amir definitely does not think you’re a bitch.”
Gigi perks a brow. “Oh? What does he think of me?”
I sigh. “He’s convinced you’ll marry him one day.”
Gigi snorts. “That would be the day, huh?” She glances at her watch. “It’s almost lunch. Wanna get a bite to eat at The Junction? You can tell me all about how you bagged Kane.”
I cringe. “I—”
Gigi loops her arm through mine. “Oh, come on. Who else are you going to tell? Your brother? Ew. Let’s go.”
There’s a reason why Giselle Gates went into law enforcement.
She’s an expert in squeezing information.
She could’ve been CIA in another life—she’s got the hostile interrogation skills down to an impressive science.
But I’m equally as impressive. I’ve given Gigi enough watered-down details to keep her thirst at bay for the time being.
And instead of discussing my sex life, I shamelessly pry into what she knows of the enigmatic man I’m sleeping with.
“How long did Theo—” I clear my throat. “How long did Kane work in DC.?” I ask, taking a sip of soda. “You mentioned before that he requested a transfer?”