Chapter 22
Trouble
The cemetery is desolate—no birds, no sounds, no people.
Only us. I stand beside Penny as Theo lowers himself to one knee.
He places the bouquet of bright colored flowers on Jaime’s grave—a stark contrast to the sea of white surrounding us.
A blanket of snow covers the dirt and grass, my toes soaked and freezing as we stand silently before the headstone.
Jaime Kowalski
A loving friend
1990 - 2008
I watch Theo as he places his hand on her headstone, his jeans dampening under the melting snow. But he doesn’t notice. He doesn’t seem to care that he’s getting wet. He remains kneeled before his friend, and my heart aches for him.
“We should have added daughter,” Penny whispers to me, sighing. “But she was never mine. Not like Theo.”
I look down at Penny, frowning. “You weren’t her foster mother?”
“I wish…” Tears prick at the corners of her milky eyes as she adjusts her knitted scarf.
“But I could barely afford Theo, even with the subsidy. I worked twelve hour days cleaning houses to give him a good life.” She shakes her head.
“Jaime’s foster parents were bad people.
At one point, they had over ten kids in that tiny house of theirs.
They only cared about the checks, not the children.
As soon as she turned eighteen, Jaime left that house.
” She sighs, her voice pained and shaky.
“She never stood a chance. Those people broke her, and even Theo couldn’t put her back together.
And trust me, he tried. She was just…too far gone. ”
“What do you mean?” I ask in a whisper, unsure if Theo can hear us talking or not.
Penny swallows. “She could’ve gone to college.
Jaime was a bright kid, very perceptive…
sometimes too perceptive.” Penny clears her throat.
“But she didn’t go. She needed money to live.
She needed money to survive.” Penny glances at me, expression tight.
“She was independent, our Jaime. She never wanted help. If only she didn’t start working—”
“That’s enough, Penny.” Theo whips his head at us, eyes hardened. “We talked about this. We can’t play the ‘if only’ game anymore. What happened happened.”
Penny presses her lips into a thin line. “I miss her. Every day I miss that girl.”
Theo’s jaw sets. “We should get going before you get sick.” He stands up, shoulders relaxing as he skims my wary features. “Penny offered to make us dinner tonight.”
“Oh?” I glance down at Penny. She gives me a warm, friendly smile. “Thank you.”
Theo snorts, looping his arm through Penny’s as he guides her back toward the parking lot. “Don’t thank her yet. Penny likes to think she’s a great cook, but unless you enjoy chunky mashed potatoes, I’d keep expectations to a minimum.”
Penny glowers at Theo. “They’re supposed to be chunky, Theodore. That’s how I make them.”
Theo chuckles. “Yes, just like how your chicken is always slightly burned.”
“Charred,” Penny groans. “It’s charred not burned.”
Theo tosses me a playful grin. “Forgive me, I meant charred.”
“I’m sure it’ll be delicious,” I say to Penny. “I don’t remember the last time I had a home-cooked meal.”
Penny frowns. “You don’t cook?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “I’m more of a takeout kind of woman.”
“Birds of a feather, you two.” Penny scowls. “I don’t understand your generation. Cooking is a basic skill that all—”
Penny trails off, lecturing me and Theo as we hop back into the SUV. While Penny’s points are valid, my mind keeps wandering back to Jaime, to the dangerous game of ‘if only.’
If only, what?
I wish Penny finished her sentence. I wish I knew the full story. Despite the fact Theo has opened himself up to me, I still feel he’s keeping certain facts hidden, concealed in the dusty corners of his heart.
Penny’s apartment smells like an antique shop, musky with a hint of old leather and faded vanilla.
Framed photographs line the walls of her living room, capturing precious moments throughout her life—smiling faces in sepia and black-and-white tones.
Lace doilies rest carefully on wooden tables, each topped with delicate porcelain figurines.
A well-worn armchair, draped in a handmade quilt, sits near the window.
Hanging by the front hall closet is a maid’s uniform.
I hope she’s not still working. She deserves to rest.
Theo and I perch on her lumpy sofa, my gaze darting to the half-finished crossword on the table.
“She never finishes,” Theo says, perking a brow as a loud crash sounds from the kitchen.
“I’m okay!” Penny yells from the galley kitchen. “Dropped a pan! No need to worry!”
“Jesus.” Theo chuckles, shaking his head. “Anyways…” He takes the folded newspaper and pen, handing me the stack. “Go for it.”
“Thanks.” I settle against the crook of the couch, my feet curling under the sofa cushions for warmth. Theo reaches over and digs my right foot out, forcing it to rest on his lap. My brows furrow as I look up at him. “What are you doing?”
He cocks his head. “Giving you a foot rub, what do you think?”
“Oh…” I bite my lip, relaxing my body as he rolls his thumbs into the arches of my freezing soles. I let out a tiny breath of pleasure. “Mmm…”
“Careful, little lamb.” Theo’s grip on my foot tightens, and he glares at me, eyes dark and consuming. “I’d watch the noises that come out that pretty little mouth of yours. I have no qualms with taking you in the bathroom.”
I swallow. “You wouldn’t…”
He smirks. “Try me, Safia. I dare you.”
Clanging sounds from the kitchen again, and I clear my throat, ignoring Theo’s burning stare. “Let’s try and be on our best behavior, huh?” I fiddle with the pen as I skim over the crossword. “How's your knowledge of ancient Greece?"
Theo chuckles. "It's decent. Why?"
"Just decent?" I glance up at him, raising an eyebrow. "I remember seeing a book on Greek myths in your bedroom." I tilt my head playfully. "Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who buys books but never reads them."
Theo stiffens for a millisecond before morphing back to his charismatically charming self. “I would never disrespect the written word like that.”
“No?” I keep my tone casual. “You read everything you buy?” I want to add, my books included? But I don’t. Something tells me if I ask him that, I’d be opening a can of rapidly expanding worms. “Well?”
Theo rolls his eyes. “Just read the prompt, Safia.”
I nibble on my bottom lip. He’s skilled at dodging questions. “Fine. Greek hero of the Trojan War?”
He blinks. “Seriously? Achilles. Everyone knows that.”
I snort. “Everyone? Wow, and I thought I was the cocky one in this relationship.”
A sly, proud grin clips his lips, and I mentally slap myself for having such a foolish tongue.
“Relationship, huh?”
“Do you know why it’s called an Achilles’ heel?” I ask quickly, attempting to mirror Theo’s diversion tactics.
He expels an airy laugh, surprisingly allowing me to bypass the undiscussed definition of what we are to one another.
“Educate me, Professor Hadid.”
I roll my eyes. “According to the myth, Achilles’s mother, Thetis, dipped him into the River Styx when he was a baby to make him untouchable, protected.
But she held him by his heel, so that part of his body was untouched by the magical water.
It became his weakness. And then during the Trojan War, Achilles was shot in the heel by an arrow—”
“And he died,” Theo adds.
“Yes,” I hum. “And he died.” I twirl the ballpoint pen between two fingers as my gaze dances around Theo’s face. “I find the story of Achilles to be…comforting.”
Theo continues rubbing my feet as he muses, “Comforting?”
“Mhmm…” I swallow. “Isn’t it nice to know, that even those who are meant to be invincible, have a weakness?”
Theo’s chest rises and falls as his eyes lock with mine. “No one is invincible.”
“No one?” I shake my head slowly. “Not even you?”
“Not even me.”
“What’s your Achilles’ heel, Theo?” I ask, holding my breath.
“What a silly question,” he rasps, voice low and husky. “You know my weakness.”
My pulse quickens. “I do?”
“It’s you.” His charged gaze sweeps across my flushed features, landing on my lips. “You’re my weakness, little lamb.”
My heart hammers against my ribs as fear and longing ripple through my veins. “I…I don’t want to be your weakness.”
“You don’t?”
I can see the misunderstanding swimming in his eyes, the way the tendons in his neck tighten and flinch at my words. He thinks that I’m raising the drawbridge, that I’m taking away the paved path into my heart, into my soul. But he’s wrong.
The bridge has been lowered for ages now, and I have no plans to block his crusade.
I welcome his destruction, his chaos. But the weak do not survive.
Evolution taught us that. I don’t wish to perish under his affection.
I want to rise in it. I want to turn my tower into a kingdom. I want us both to rule.
“No…” I pull my foot out of his grasp and arch forward, crawling across the couch until my lips brush softly against his ear. “I want to be your strength, Theodore, and I want you to be mine.”
Like a butterfly caught by its wing, Theo coils his strong hand around the base of my throat. His chest rumbles with deranged hunger, and I expel a quiet, desperate moan.
“I will be your everything, little lamb,” he rasps. “I will be every breath, every touch, every kiss, every fucking sound. I will consume you, Safia, because you…” He pulls away a mere inch, his hooded eyes full of restraint. “You already own me, body and fucking soul.”
I can feel the truth in his touch. I can see the obsession in his eyes. My name is written on skin in invisible ink, but it’s there, loud and fucking clear. He wants to consume me because he’s choking, gasping for air that only my lungs can give him.
And so I slam my lips against his. I save him.
I give him breath. I give him me. Everything.
Every wound. Every tear. Every ounce of potential.
Every goddamn drop of my jaded, empty heart—may he fill it with unreasonable hope, with passionate promises, and…
and with love. The sort of love that angels cry about.
Like Achilles, I want to be dipped in those tears.
I want my entire body submerged in the magic of his love.
My mind spins with bliss as Theo breaks our kiss. His forehead rests against mine, his breathing ragged.
“I should arrest you for kissing me like that.”
I grin, eyes closed. “Why?”
“Because, little lamb,” he rakes his fingers through my hair, grip tight, “it’s taking every iota of self-control to keep myself from fucking you on Penny’s couch.”
“That seems like a you problem,” I say, brushing my nose against his. “Perhaps you need to practice patience.”
He growls, nibbling my earlobe. “Trust me, Safia. I might be the most patient man you’ve ever met.”
I squirm under his hold. “Is that so?”
“Mhmm…” He dips his head, kissing along the slope of my neck. “If I had it my way,” he drags his teeth across my collarbone, “I would’ve bent you over your desk the first day we met.”
I moan, throwing my head back. “Is that a little fantasy of yours, Theodore? Fucking a professor?”
“Maybe…” He snakes his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. I straddle him as he leaves a trail of wet kisses in the valley of my breasts. “Or maybe it’s yours.” Theo chuckles as my phone rings on the coffee table. I groan, frowning as he pulls away. “Saved by the bell.”
I grumble, frustrated as I reach over and pick up my phone. My brother’s name runs across the screen. “It’s Amir. I can call him back.”
Theo glances toward the kitchen, smirking. “Maybe we should avoid giving Penny another heart attack.” Gently, Theo helps me off his lap, and we straighten out our clothes. My phone continues to ring, and Theo cocks his head. “Just answer it, Safia.”
I sigh, swiping my finger across the screen. “Yes?”
“Finally!” Amir huffs. “Christ, woman, I thought you were dead. I almost sent out a search party.”
I roll my eyes. “I’ve been busy, Amir. Don’t take it personally.”
“Too late,” he says, tone sour. “You’ve bailed on dinner twice already. I won’t let you say no again. Come over. I’ll make kibbeh.”
I bite my lip. “I can’t tonight, I’m busy.”
“Yeah? With what, Saffy? The case? Is work really that much more important to you than your own flesh and blood?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m having dinner with Theo.”
“Theo? Who’s Theo?” He literally gasps. What a drama queen. “Agent Kane? You’re having dinner with Agent Kane? Like dinner dinner?” Amir clicks his tongue. “It appears you’ve been keeping a lot from me, huh, Saffy? I thought you were just staying with him. Not eating with him.”
I glance over at Theo, wincing. Surprisingly, Theo doesn’t appear affected by Amir’s not-so-subtle innuendos. I know he can hear what my brother is saying—Amir’s never been one for quiet discretion.
“Can we talk about this later?” I ask. “I will call you tomorrow.”
“Or you can come over for drinks after dinner.” He pauses. “Unless you’ve got other plans for dessert.”
“Amir.” My temples pulse. “Can you not—”
“It’s fine,” Theo whispers to me. “Go have drinks with your brother after dinner. I think I’ll stay with Penny tonight.”
“Hold on a sec,” I tell Amir and put him on mute. I frown at Theo. “You’re going to stay here?”
Theo shrugs. “Penny tends to get lonely. Her nephew, Mick, is usually around, but he’s been out of town for a month or so. I’m sure she’d like the company. Plus, she has an appointment at the hospital in the morning. I’m driving her.”
“That’s sweet of you,” I say, accepting my fate. Drinks with Amir is never just drinks. He’ll force me to stay over. The man can talk. I take Amir off mute. “Okay, fine. I’ll come over for drinks.”
“Great!” Amir exclaims. “I’ll send a car to pick you up. Where are you having dinner?”
I wince. “I’ll just take a cab.”
“A cab? What are you, a peasant?” Amir scoffs. “I will not have my little sister riding in a disease infested tin box on wheels. I’m sending a car.”
“Fine,” I sigh. I won’t win this fight. “I’m at Theo’s mother’s house. I’ll send you the address.”
“His mother?!” Amir’s voice rises. “You’ve met the parents? What else are you keeping from me? I can’t believe you didn’t—”
I hang up on Amir. “Oh God.”
Theo smirks. “You brother is…”
“A lot,” I grumble. “He is a lot.”
Theo leans over, giving me a lingering kiss on the cheek. “You’ll be fine, Safia. He’s your brother. It’s important to keep those you love close to you.” His gaze briefly flicks over a framed photograph of him and Jaime as kids. “You never know how much time you have left with someone.”
I hope my time with Theo isn’t cut short.