Chapter 32
Chapter
Thirty-Two
I’m breathless by the time I reach the science building, because of course I overslept even though my alarm went off right on time.
The thing about alarms is that you have to actually haul your ass out of bed. Instead, I turned the thing off, then looked at Chase asleep next to me, then decided that snuggling was the best choice for the morning.
Which is why my legs now ache and my lungs are burning.
But I made it, and now I shove through the flood of students coming down the stairs, mutter a quick sorry to a guy whose coffee I nearly spilled, and duck into Valdez’s lecture hall with about ninety seconds to spare.
I drop into my seat, jostling the girl beside me, and when Valdez and her TA start setting tests face-down on every desk, I’m actually ready for it.
Because here’s the thing nobody warns you about saving the world—you still have to show up for your psych exams. And somehow, between the Nightmare Realm and the dead lawn and one of the men I love planning to let my species fall, I worked in some study time.
Tia nagged, I flash-carded, and, miraculously, the info stayed in my brain.
Studying. Who knew?
The instant Valdez says begin, I turn the test over and dive in, zipping through the questions with actual ease. I finish with time to spare, read it back once, and when I carry it up to the front and set it on the stack, I actually feel like I’m on the ball and not just chasing it.
Damn, but that feels good, and I owe it all to semi-functional time management and one relentless best friend. Yay, me.
I’m halfway turned to go when Valdez says, without looking up from the stack, “Miss Lyte. A moment.”
So I stop, then drift to the side and wait while the rest of the class files out in a slow shuffle of backpacks and low complaints.
“How do you feel about the test?” she asks, squaring the stack.
“Good,” I admit. “Turns out all that talk about studying wasn’t a scam.”
“Good to know,” she says, folding her hands on top of the stack and looking me in the eye. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m planning a new research project, and your uncle once mentioned that your mother kept dream journals.”
“Oh,” I say. “Yeah. She did.”
“Would you consent to let me review them? Your uncle mentioned she had unusually vivid dreams. Recurring ones. So vivid that she once told him it felt as if she were traveling somewhere when she slept.” I go stiff as she continues. “It’s a thread I’ve always meant to pull.”
“I wish you could,” I say, and it’s honest, because if I could hand them over, it would mean I’d gotten to read them, too. “But Mom got rid of them before she died. I have no idea where they ended up. Honestly, I think she just tossed them.”
“Ah.” Valdez tips her head a little to one side—a habit I’ve seen often. “That’s unfortunate. If you ever do run across them, I’d love to see them.”
“I’ll let you know,” I tell her. “Good luck with the project.”
“Thank you, Miss Lyte. Enjoy the rest of your day.”
I nod and head out, and even though the whole thing was bland and perfectly innocent, I leave feeling like I missed something.
I write it off to being slapped in the face with the memory of my mom—and my lingering frustration that she left me completely unprepared for all this dream-walking weirdness.
I’m still feeling pissy toward Mom when I meet Tia for lunch at the little sandwich stand by the library.
“How’d it go?”
It takes me a sec to realize she means the exam. “Nailed it,” I say, and meet her high-five with a smack.
“Oh, good. We drilled so much, I figured you’d blow through it and beat me here. I was starting to worry you’d blanked.”
“Got kept after. Valdez wants to borrow my mom’s dream journals. Some study she’s doing.” I steal a chip off her plate. “Apparently, Uncle Finn told her Mom thought she was traveling in her dreams.”
“But she was.”
“Well, yeah. I know that. But I wasn’t about to say so. For all I know, Valdez thinks that’s the kind of thing that gets a person committed.”
“Doubt it. She’s just chasing a sexy new project to publish. Academia runs on publishing.” Tia grimaces. “But are you okay? Getting smacked out of the blue with a question about your mom…”
“I’m fine. I just miss her. You can blame Valdez if I’m crappy lunch company.”
“I can absolutely handle crappy company,” she says, and we slide into easier territory. Specifically, Tia’s guilt over how few nights she’s actually slept in our dorm lately.
“Like I’ve noticed,” I say. “I’ve basically moved in with Chase.” I lean forward. “He’d tell me if I was there too much, right?”
Her eyes go wide. “Oh my God, I was about to ask you the exact same thing about Riley.”
We share a grin, and somewhere in the next ten minutes, we mutually conclude that both our significant others would absolutely tell us if we were overstepping, and that we are therefore fine, and brilliant, and excellent girlfriends.
And then Tia sets her sandwich down. “Okay,” she says. “Spill, already. You still haven’t told me the full scoop from when you saw Adric. Way to leave a girl hanging.”
“Sorry,” I say. “It’s a you and me convo. The in-person kind.”
“And here I am in the flesh. So talk.”
“It’s just really big, and I’m not even sure where to start.”
“Well, now you’re scaring me, so just pick a place and start there.”
I nod. “Right. Start.” I suck in air, then blurt it out. “He’s not going to help. Adric. The barriers are coming down, and he’s fine with that.”
“With slow, you mean,” Tia says. “Didn’t you tell me once he was okay with slow? Because then everything can learn to live with everything else.”
“Yeah, well, then the Widow Maker decided to get all rumbly and Hellmouthy. And it’s not moving slow at all.”
She leans back, her eyes wide. “You’re saying he’s not going to help figure out how to stop it?”
I shake my head. “Worse. He’s not going to do anything but let it happen, even though he knows that the Real is going to take the brunt of it with millions upon millions of people dying when those creatures in Retribution come looking for snacks.”
“Wait, what? No. You must have misunderstood.”
“Acceptable losses,” I say. “That’s his attitude.”
Tia leans forward. “Hold on. Acceptable losses meaning—what? People?”
“People. The Real. Us.” I realize I’ve been shredding my napkin. “When the barriers go and the monsters in Retribution come through, we’re their Happy Meal. No magic, no clue how to fight. The Real is totally vulnerable and he knows it, but it’s a price he’s willing to pay.”
“He said that?”
“Oh, he said that some would survive, of course, but the ones who fall? Back to those acceptable losses.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah.”
She shakes her head, looking a little ill. “Does he get what that means? How many people? I mean, Retribution will swarm the Real. They’ll wipe out pretty much everybody. Babies and little kids and people who just got married and—”
“I know,” I say. The word is a whisper. “It’s a fucking apocalypse.” I look down, then realize I’m biting my lip.
“What? What else did he do?”
I shake my head. “Nothing—it’s just ... I think I felt it. The keystone shifting. I was with Uncle Finn and it felt like an earthquake. And with all the stuff at the Widow Maker...” I trail off with a shudder.
“Oh.” She takes a deep breath. “I mean, we already knew that, but...”
“Yeah. It’s not just happening here. It’s already spreading.”
She wipes her eyes. “What else can we do?”
I shrug, already feeling defeated. “I honestly don’t know.
I’m going back, though. We need Adric on our side, and I’m telling myself he just doesn’t get it.
After all, he’s not human—hell, he’s the thing ancient people worshipped.
Maybe he just can’t wrap his head around it.
But I’m going to make him get it. Because we need his help to stop it.
He can’t just do nothing, and he damn sure can’t urge it on. ”
“Do you think you can? Convince him, I mean?” She’s hugging herself, and I think it’s the first time I’ve seen Tia truly look scared.
“I’ll make him help,” I say. “I have to.”
She draws a breath, short and quick, then nods. “And you will,” she says.
“Yeah. I will.”
A long beat passes, then she clears her throat. “So, um, how are you going to manage that?”
I almost laugh, because crying isn’t an option.
Instead, I just shake my head. “I don’t know. But he’s the oldest, scariest, most powerful thing in five realms, and he says he loves me, and the Real is my home. He damn well better help us.”
“And if he won’t budge?”
There it is. The question under the whole thing.
I shrug. “Then he doesn’t get me.”
I hug myself. “I love him, Tia. I really do. But he fights for my world, or I walk. Because if he won’t do that…well, then he’s the enemy.”
I draw in a breath as Tia studies me, her expression a mix of pain and pride.
“Good,” she finally says. “Now go tell the bastard.”
“Hello? Were you listening? I’ve told him.”
“Well, tell him again. He’s obviously got a thick skull. Pound it into him. Hell, get him naked and withhold sex until he really listens to you.”
“I’m not sure it’ll do any good.”
“Well, I’m sure it won’t if you don’t try.”
And since I can’t argue with that, take a look around to make sure no one’s looking. And then, while my fury is still hot, I take a single step away from Tia, and into Adric’s realm.