Chapter 5 #3
“Yes, I know, but there’s nothing wrong with him, he just likes looking that way.
I can’t tell you how many hours my daughter has spent grooming him, brushing his mane and polishing his coat.
He’ll just go off and roll in the mud. He’s a good horse, though, and eye-catching is not what you want on the roads these days. ”
Belis stepped forward and offered her hand to the horse to smell, before stroking his nose. She checked him over with an expert eye. The muscles in his legs and shoulders were strong beneath the dust.
“What’s his name?” she asked the farmer, finally turning back.
“Carrot,” he said, a little abashed. “My daughter named him. He’s got a chestnut tinge to him under the grime. We don’t go in for fancy names around here.”
He wiped his hands on an apron.
“I suppose you’ll be wanting some tack for them, too? And we didn’t discuss how you’ll be paying for these horses.”
He endeavoured to loom over us and seemed surprised that Belis was the same height. Belis opened her pack and fished around. She withdrew a handful of golden coins and held them out to the farmer.
“I recommend you rub the faces off before you try and use them,” she said, dropping them into his outstretched hands.
He picked one up and bit it, inspecting the toothmarks in the soft gold.
“Well, that’ll more than cover it, and my silence, too. Thanks for the tip. I take it this face isn’t popular among our new overlords?”
“They’re looking for me. It’d be better for you if they never know I was here.”
The farmer scratched his head. “I reckon so. Don’t tell me any more, then. Lady Vatta’s got a firm grip on these parts, but you don’t want to push your luck.”
He held out his hand for Belis to shake, then headed off back to the house.
Carrot nosed into the open pack and I closed it before he could snaffle the last of the apples.
He gave me a doleful look and I relented and fished one out for him.
He ate it from my palm and I stroked his soft nose.
It wasn’t quite as good as having a dog, but his animal smell and obvious love of treats made me feel a little better.
Riding was exactly as uncomfortable as I had feared, but Weasel was a quick little thing and Carrot could be enticed into some speed with the rankest bribery.
We made excellent time and reached the banks of the Severn before nightfall.
I remembered Vatta’s words and tried hard not to complain too much when we finally slid out of the saddle.
I had thought I’d identified all the muscles in my legs that could possibly give me pain but a day on horseback proved me wrong.
Belis found a boatman willing to transport us across the river and I led the horses down to the waterside, hobbling and trying not to slip in the mud.
The river was a muddy-brown in the greyness of the day, a far cry from the silver snake I had seen in the moonlight from Vatta’s balcony last night.
When we had boarded and the boatman had begun to punt us across, I turned and waved back towards the woods.
“What are you doing?” Belis asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Vatta might be able to see us. I want her to know we’re safe!” I nudged her. “Wave!”
“You realise that we’re a good fifteen miles away?” Belis said.
“You realise that she’s an incredibly powerful witch? Wave!”
She sighed as if I was being ridiculous but put her arm up and waved to the east. I thought I detected the ghost of a smile on her lips and I felt a bubble of happiness in my chest.
We landed on the far side of the river and began disembarking. The light was almost gone but we climbed back into the saddles and put another mile between us and the river, riding into the Forest of Dean.
Belis still wasn’t talking to me much, but I thought she was a little less angry with me than she had been.
I let her be quiet, unsure of the right words to say, but I could hear Vatta’s voice in my head telling me to try harder.
I decided I had waited long enough and shuffled a little closer to her.
“I wanted to say,” I began, trying not to sound too rehearsed, “that I have been very upset since we first met. Living as a human has been difficult for me to accept. It’s horrible, I really don’t know how you all do it.”
Belis blinked then narrowed her eyes at me. I dragged myself back on track.
“What I meant to say was, I’ve not been acting as a goddess should. I’ve been rude and unpleasant company and I’m sorry for that.”
“Is this a joke?” Belis sounded suspicious.
I shook my head, struggling to find the words.
“I’m serious. And to be clear, this is not about you being the daughter of a king. I still dramatically outrank you. I should have been politer to you because you’re a person.” I remembered what Vatta had said. “A person with a lot of feelings.”
Belis’s mouth quirked and I wondered if I had misspoken.
“Thank you, Mallt. I should have been kinder to you, too. I know that we’re in this because of me and it must be hard being in a new body. You’re entitled to complain a bit.”
“I really don’t think I complained that much,” I said before I could stop myself. “What I mean is, thank you.”
She leaned over, easy in the saddle, to knock her shoulder against mine. I felt absurdly pleased with myself at the gesture.
Belis reined in her horse and dismounted. She leaned her spear against the tree and dropped her pack.
“I think we can risk a fire,” she said. “Mallt, will you gather some dead wood? I will see if I can find something to eat.”
I nodded. By the time I had collected enough dry wood and built the base of the fire she had returned bearing wild garlic, tubers and several kinds of non-poisonous mushrooms. For a final prize she revealed a handful of late wild strawberries.
We ate the berries first, carefully dividing them between us, trying to eat slowly and savour the sweetness, then we dug into the fungi.
We sat in silence, munching on the mushrooms while I roasted the tubers on the fire.
The rain was still pattering on the thatched leaves and the light had faded.
For once the lack of conversation did not feel heavy, but comfortable.
We were being quiet together, not at each other.
Belis had tucked her knees up to her chin and was staring into the fire.
Her face took on the look of melancholy that had become so familiar to me.
I remembered her smiling on the boat and wanted to see that again.
I wished I could cheer her up, or at least lessen some of the burden she carried.
Before I could think of anything, she spoke.
“I’ve been thinking,” she said, “that I should try and give you a little instruction in fighting. If we run into the Romans again you ought to be able to defend yourself. You weren’t much help against the wight.”
My face must have fallen because she gave me another half-smile.
“I’m not saying you’ll become a master fighter overnight. I can just teach you a little of the basics. Right now, you don’t have a spear or sword of your own, or even a knife. You need to start with what you have, so that you’ll never rely on weapons.”
She stood up and adopted a fighting stance, legs wide and slightly bent.
“You know I’m a goddess. I’ve fought fiercer opponents than you before.”
She didn’t move so I sighed and stood up. From her slouching position Belis’s eyes were the same level as mine.
“Fine. What’s my first lesson?”
“You need to learn how to fall down,” she said.
I frowned at her, confused. If there was one thing I had absolutely proven I could do in this frail human body it was fall over. She beckoned me closer.
“Try and push me over. Use all your strength.”
I hung back, unsure whether this was a trick. She rolled her eyes. “I promise I won’t defend myself. I just need to demonstrate.”
I moved a little closer. Belis smiled at me encouragingly. I reached out, then hesitated. “Come on, Mallt! I won’t get hurt. Humans aren’t that fragile!”
I pushed her, using both hands. I doubted I had really landed it with enough force to knock her over, but she fell backwards, rolling over her shoulders and springing back into position as gracefully as any fae.
“Again, this time from the side,” she said, flicking a strand of coppery hair from her face. I pushed her again, and again she went down, this time rolling over her right shoulder.
“You never want to be on the ground. You should avoid it at all costs,” Belis said, jumping back to her feet. “But sometimes you will get knocked down and you need to know how to get back up. Use the force of your attacker to fuel your movement. Again.”
I pushed her a third time and she dodged, missing my hands by inches. Faster than my mortal eyes could track, she doubled back and pushed me hard on my shoulders. I went down, hard and fast and without any of Belis’s grace or purpose. I landed flat on my back, the breath knocked out of me.
“Ow!” I complained, struggling to sit up. “You said that you wouldn’t defend yourself.”
“I was lying,” Belis said cheerfully. “Never trust anyone to fight fair and never fight fair yourself.”
“I thought you were a princess,” I grumbled. “Shouldn’t you be more invested in nobility in combat?”
“My father was noble,” she said, the smile dropping from her lips. “He put trust in his enemies and, after he died, they betrayed him. Again!”
Belis came at me, fast and threatening. We continued until she decreed that I could fall acceptably.
“Perhaps tomorrow we will start on blades,” she said happily. “You should carry my sword, get used to the weight of it.”
“I’m beginning to regret making amends with you,” I muttered but took the weapon she offered me and settled by the fire. Belis sat opposite me and wrapped her cloak around her shoulders.
“It’s your turn to teach me something now,” she said. I frowned, looking up at her; she hadn’t shown much curiosity about me so far.
“What do you want to learn?”
“Tell me about you. Do you always live in the mortal world or do you flit between here and Annwn?”
“Here mostly.” I considered how to frame my response. “Very few can travel between the realms and it must be done carefully and with a purpose.”
“What purpose could take you there?”
“Think of those who should be in Annwn but remain here: wights, ghosts and ghouls. If they were in Annwn they would be normal souls but if they are trapped here then they become dangerous.” I shuffled a little closer to the fire.
“Most who need my help require only to be set on the right road and they can find their way, but for those few I must take them right to the gate. For only the most fearsome and lost souls do I escort through the passage and into Annwn itself. They are rare, arriving maybe once a generation, and with them I go through to speak with Arawn so that he can care for them appropriately while they recover.”
Belis nodded thoughtfully, an odd look on her face. “And now you are returning there with me, the greatest monster of them all.”
“That’s a strange thing to say.” I glanced at her, the light of the flames reflected in her eyes so that they seemed golden.
“Didn’t I kill you? Your immortal self, damning all lost souls to wander and all the living to fear them?”
“Well, yes.”
I paused, trying to marshal my thoughts.
Belis was saying no more than what I had been grumbling to myself and aloud to her for weeks, but I had never considered her monstrous because of it, merely foolish and human.
Now Vatta had talked a little sense into me and I felt differently.
I looked at Belis again and saw the sadness cut deep into her expression.
I wanted to ease some of that pain if I could.
“Perhaps for now we can forget what we were and simply be two humans travelling together, at least for a little while. I am sick of fighting. I would rather be at peace with you.”
For the first night since we had met I watched a little of the tension lift from her face, and she fell asleep easily while the fire crackled between us.