Chapter 18
Chapter eighteen
Halo
“The Quiet Between”
I hadn’t realized how the sound of a person could linger when they were gone: some type of noise, a buzz, that continued on.
I had dropped off Eden at her apartment last night and watched her from the rooftop again.
Then, when she worked the next day, I stayed across the street instead of going inside.
I barely talked myself out of it, and I noticed she had a muffin set aside on the counter…
maybe for me. She seemed a little less lively than her usual self, and I couldn’t help but blame myself for that.
I had been harsh, but it was necessary to create distance.
Why was it that distance from her had my head feeling like a shaken jar of bees, though?
It was Friday, so she would be off work over the weekend.
After she locked up and I watched her get to her apartment safely, I went back to my own apartment.
It was the first time I’d been here alone in days, and I was exhausted in a way that I wasn’t used to.
I hoped she stayed in her apartment like she was supposed to, because I really needed the rest.
I turned on the camera feeds from her apartment, slumping back into the chair at my computer as I ate a sandwich I had thrown together. I didn’t even taste it as I chewed, swallowed, chewed, swallowed.
She took off her shirt and reached to touch her shoulder where I knew a bruise likely bloomed against her flesh. My fault. When I had grabbed her at the rec center, I had applied just too much pressure, and I had noticed the pinkish discoloration peeking underneath her shirt early on.
I told myself it was good I had hurt her; pain taught boundaries. Consequences. Maybe next time she’d think before stepping into danger like she was invincible. Maybe she’d finally understand why I had to be the way I was.
But I knew she wouldn’t. She never would, and that was the fucking problem.
On screen, she stopped by the counter and leaned on her elbows, exhaling slow and heavy. Her mouth moved, and I leaned down, turning up the volume so that I could try to hear her. She was talking to herself, lips forming silent questions I didn’t need to hear to understand.
She was trying to figure me out, trying to figure her feelings out.
Stupid, stupid girl.
I looked away, exhaling, pinching the bridge of my nose. Behind my eyes, the kiss played on loop: her hands trembling as she touched me, her mouth brushing mine like she couldn’t help herself. The sound she made when I didn’t pull away at first. That soft, startled noise when I kissed her back.
I hadn’t meant to.
But I had, and I hated that I had.
She didn’t know what she was playing with. I should have scared her more, let the mask slip all the way so she could see the monster underneath. Instead, I’d kissed her like a man who wanted things he wasn’t allowed to want anymore.
The camera feed flickered, and my attention snapped back, muscles tensing. One second of static and then it steadied. She was still there, still alone, still safe.
I sat forward, elbows braced on my knees, watching her now more closely than before. She was brushing her hair out with her fingers. The smallest, most innocent motion, but it gutted me.
She had no idea she was being watched. Not tonight.
That should have disgusted me, but it didn’t. It only made me feel worse because this wasn’t recon anymore; it wasn’t threat assessment. This was becoming obsession. This was hunger in the shape of surveillance.
She curled up on the couch. Wrapped her arms around a pillow like it could keep her safe. She looked small. So fucking small.
“I should’ve killed her,” I muttered, the words low, cracking, meant for no one. “I should’ve killed her before I wanted to keep her like this.”
Because now it was too late, and I knew it. She was inside me, and no number of locked doors or sharp knives could undo what she’d already done to me.
She took a shower, disappearing off camera. The first thing I noticed was how she never went back to lock the door. Even after I saw her pass by the camera on her way to the bedroom, she never went back to lock it.
I rubbed my temple, trying to give her more time to check it, but she never returned.
I expected her to come back to the couch, where she slept most nights, but instead, she must have gone to the bedroom.
My phone buzzed on the table, and I reached for it, seeing the name WIRE pop up across the screen.
“Hey,” I said, “what do you have for me?”
“Not everything you want,” she said, voice unapologetic, “but I have some info.”
Wire was the woman you went to when you needed information and you didn’t want anyone to know you had it.
I had never met a person who knew her real name, she was truly invisible outside of the world of crime.
I had worked with her many times on higher profile hits when I needed intel, access to public cameras, hacking into someone’s devices…
things like that. I couldn’t say I trusted her, necessarily, but in this world, she was one of the few people that I wanted to stay in good standing with.
“I’ll take whatever you got for me,” I assured her.
“I’ve got five names for you, ones that I have confirmed for a fact know about the mark you mentioned.
There are at least four other guys, but I don’t have that.
Those were offline contacts. I do know a guy who can get you those names, but he works strictly face-to-face, and you’d have to meet him somewhere neutral.
I can drop him your information if you want. ”
“Yeah, perfect. You’re sure about these five?”
“Sure about all of them.”
“How?”
“A magician never reveals her secrets,” she laughed. “Got pen and paper?”
“Don’t need it. Shoot.”
“Nick Palmer. Low-tier runner: handles pickups, drop-offs, surveillance. Brian Tate, former corrections officer. I think he’s mostly the liaison for the dirty cops, and the muscle.
Jason Rowe: logistics and transport. Danny Carver: fixer, but street-level.
Eric Saunders: tech support for their communications, he’s alright but not good enough.
It goes without saying, you’ve got his two right hand men – I didn’t include them. Mark Delaney and Tyler Grant.”
“Nick and Danny are grey.” I stated. The two guys from the car at Eden’s apartment.
“You have anything to do with that?”
“Nah.”
“Well, I don’t know, which means no one else knows they’re gone either.”
The screen in front of me had been still for the last several minutes, and I had moved my cursor more than once to make sure it wasn’t frozen. Her fucking door was still unlocked.
“Appreciate the word, Wire. I’ll drop off what I owe you. Have your guy let me know where to meet him and when. Put the heat under him; this is time sensitive.”
“You got it.”
The call disconnected, and I immediately went to the number of Eden’s burner.
My thumb hesitated over it, hovering for a moment before I committed.
It rang so many times that at first, I didn’t think she would answer.
I was just about to get up to put on my boots when her voice came across the line.
“Halo?”
I could tell that I’d woken her up by the way she said it, and I relaxed back into the chair.
“You need to go lock your front door,” I said, voice low and quiet.
There was a pause. “Are you watching me again?”
“I’m always watching you, Eden.”
“I didn’t see you.” She yawned.
“I’m not there.”
There was another hesitation, and he heard the shuffling of fabric and the sounds of her feet on the floor, but she didn’t walk into the living area.
“Do you have cameras in my apartment?”
“Yes… but only in the kitchen and towards the entryway.”
“None in the bedroom? Shower?”
“Go lock the door.”
I watched as she appeared on camera, phone to her ear. She turned around slowly, looking directly at me more than once. Then she obeyed, walking to the door and locking both the knob and the deadbolt.
“Happy?”
I sighed in relief. “Good girl.”
She didn’t respond to the praise, but she didn’t hang up either.
She turned, phone still to her ear, and walked back toward her bedroom.
The soft rustle of her sheets and the muted creak of the bed settling beneath her weight reached him through the speaker.
For a long moment, neither of them said anything.
“Are you sleeping in the bedroom tonight?”
“Yeah, just need to stretch out and turn my brain off, I think.”
“Is your window locked?”
“Yeah… I’m going to go back to sleep now,” she said, voice so quiet that he barely heard it. “You’re too paranoid.”
“It’s hard for me to remember how to let something live,” I admitted reluctantly. “I just want to cover all of the bases. Even without an active hit on you, never leave your door unlocked, please.”
It was insane how killing someone was easier than trying to keep them alive.
She laughed, a breathless and tired sound that was muffled by her pillow. “You’re like a mama bird, and I’m a baby bird.”
I almost laughed at the ridiculous comparison.
“Good night, Halo.”
“Wait,” I interjected, trying to catch her before she hung up.
There was a long pause between us, but I could hear her even breathing on the other end followed by the distant purr of her cat.
“Will you just leave the line open? Just lay the phone beside you.”
“Why?”
“In case anything happens,” I said, but that wasn’t the entire truth, and I thought she could tell.
She didn’t press, just whispered: “Okay.”
I leaned back in my chair, eyes still on the grainy, empty camera feed.
I could hear her settle more deeply into the bed, the quiet of her breathing slowly evening out.
There was something about the sound that made my chest ache in a way I didn’t fully understand.
I put the call on speaker, muting myself as I settled into my own bed, still in the clothes I had worn today.
The room around me was silent except for the low hum of my computer and the sound of Eden’s even breaths on the other end of the call.
My lids grew heavy as her breathing stayed soft and steady. I let it lull me, let it fill the empty, echoing space inside my chest. The noise she had left behind in my brain subsided.
It was the first time in years I didn’t fall asleep alone, and I didn’t know what to do with the immense comfort of it.