Ryder Freaking Vaughn （Again）
Tessa
Sitting on the new porch swing at Maisie's, it was nearly sunset by the time Ryder finished his story. In truth, he hadn't been talking all that long – maybe twenty minutes, tops.
After that wonderfully ridiculous parade, Griff and Maisie had practically dragged us out to dinner for steak and seafood, too many drinks, and even more laughs.
I knew exactly why they'd done it – to give me and Ryder some time to relax and regroup before I said or did anything I might regret.
It was sweet. And protective. And yes, just a little maddening, because earlier on the dock, all I'd wanted was to have Ryder to myself.
Did that make me a sap?
Probably.
But if I was a sap, Ryder was, too – because the story he'd just told was so incredibly personal, I felt honored for the sharing.
With a sympathetic wince, I said, "So you lost everything? Seriously?"
"Everything," he said. "Even the house."
I tried not to dwell on the rest of it, but the thought of Ryder homeless as barely a teen just about broke my heart. "Did they ever catch him?" I meant, of course, the slick conman who'd cheated his widowed mom out of her savings, her retirement, and even her car.
And it all started with fake jewelry – diamonds and rubies the shyster had presented as real while offering romance, security, and help with her investments. In the end, the romance was fake, the security was fleeting, and the investments didn't exist.
His mom was utterly ruined. And Ryder? He'd had to toughen up quick, especially when his extended family refused to take them in. They'd told him they were sorry – and then still closed their doors.
Finally, I understood that when Ryder left, he hadn't been running from me. He'd been running from history.
In reply to my question about whether they ever caught the guy, Ryder said, "No. They didn't." His voice hardened. "But I did."
I blinked. "You're kidding."
"Nope."
"And?"
With a wry smile, he replied, "No comment."
I tried for a joke. "You didn't kill him, did you?"
He gave me a long, penetrating look. "Is that a serious question?"
I hesitated, unsure if I was serious or not. "No comment?"
This made him laugh, the sound warm in the quiet night. "Nah. The guy's alive, but let's just say he's not conning anyone anymore."
"But you thought I was conning you?"
"No." He exhaled slowly. "I thought you were desperate."
"Yeah, but…desperate enough to con you?"
"Not me," he said. "A local – or some other regular person who didn't know better. You do know that if this were about jewels or money, I would've given you anything you asked."
It was so sweet, but I just had to say, "But you should've told me – or at least asked."
His voice softened in the fading light. "I know. But you want the truth?"
I nodded.
"I didn't trust myself."
"You mean…to not lose your temper or something?"
"No. To not stay with you, no matter what you said." He shook his head. "So I stuck with what I knew."
"Which was…?"
"That I'd fallen for someone capable of doing the same bullshit that ruined my mom. I thought I was losing it." His eyes held mine. "But instead, I lost you."
My heart ached for him – not the man he was now, but the younger version he'd been. I smiled. "But not permanently. And that's what really counts, right?"
"Yeah, but I was still an ass."
"Well, we're all asses sometimes," I said. "So back to that guy, is he in prison or something?"
"Nope. But he's not so pretty. Or rich. Or untouchable."
This reminded me of another question, one I was almost afraid to ask. "What about Evan Carver?"
"What about him?"
"Did you have anything to do with that?"
"You mean his death?"
I shrugged. "I guess so." During the past few weeks, every leaked detail made it sound even more fishy. The official cause of death was alcohol poisoning, which didn't quite jive with the ransacked state of his condo. "It just seems a little off, that's all."
Ryder replied, "Got that right."
"So you're suspicious, too?"
"I wouldn't go that far." The porch swing creaked softly as Ryder let it sway. "It's hard to be suspicious when you know what happened."
What? I braced my feet on the porch, and the swinging stopped. "So you do know what happened?"
Ryder didn't hesitate. "Yup."
"So? Are you gonna tell me?"
"I dunno," he said. "Can you keep a secret?"
If this weren't so serious, I might've laughed. "Oh, please. I'm the best secret-keeper in the world." But then I felt compelled to add, "Well…most of the time, at least."
Ryder said, "Gambling debts."
"What?"
"Lots of gambling debts. He owed money to the wrong people and got mouthy when they tried to collect."
I was staring now. "And you know this, how?"
"I've got sources."
"And you're not gonna tell me?"
"Nope."
"But why not?"
"Because those aren't my secrets to share."
I didn't push it, mostly because there was something else I had to say. "Speaking of secrets…I owe you a bunch of money for rent."
At this, he grew very still. "What?"
I winced. "Uh, yeah. I found out about that. But why'd you do it? I mean, we weren't even together, so…" I let the words trail off, unsure how to finish.
"You wanna know why?" He smiled. "Because you were a good person in trouble, and I know what it's like to lose your home. I didn't want you going through that."
And just like always, my heart went all gooey. "Awwww…that's so sweet."
"Yeah, well…don't tell anyone."
"Wanna hear something funny?"
"What?"
"Don't get me wrong. I really, really appreciate it. But that apartment? It doesn't feel like home, anymore. It feels like a place to store my stuff until I figure things out." I sat up straighter. "And I just realized something."
"What?"
"I don't even know where you live."
"Eh, it's nothing special."
I laughed. "Oh, please. Like I believe that."
"No lie," he said. "The place is boring as hell."
I rolled my eyes. "That's not what I heard."
"Oh, yeah?"
I gave him a playful poke to the chest. "Griff told me you burned down your guest house." I snickered. "Twice."
Ryder made a show of looking offended. "Hey, that was years ago."
"So it's true?"
"Hey, I like fireworks." He paused. "And bonfires."
"Yeah, me too. Especially big ones. So, how can that be boring?"
"I'll tell you why." Ryder took my hand in his. "Because the house didn't have you in it. And you know what else?"
"What?"
"I love you."
My breath hitched. "I love you, too."
"And Tessa?"
"Yeah?"
"I won't screw up like that again."
I laughed through the sting behind my eyes. "I believe you." And then I reached for him, wanting to prove it.
Without another word, he kissed me, really kissed me, as the crickets chirped and Maisie's laughter drifted out through the open kitchen window.
And somewhere between the crickets and laughter, everything finally clicked. Home wasn't just a place. Or a person. It was the feeling I had in my heart, right here, right now, with Ryder Freaking Vaughn.