Chapter Four
Fuck! Donnie stared at the closed door. He had known this day would come eventually, but nothing had prepared him for it. There was no mistaking the hurt on her face, and it cut like a knife. He’d done that.
Charlie, standing there in that pretty blue sundress, had transported him straight back to that night.
The feel of her lips beneath his. Her tongue in his mouth.
Whenever he thought about that night it was the same.
And he thought about it a lot. They may have been just kids, and he’d barely touched her.
Yet every second of that petting session had been burned on his brain as if it had happened just yesterday, not ten years ago.
All grown up now, she looked even more beautiful.
The sundress had molded her soft, full breasts perfectly.
The dress fell over her gorgeous ass, ending at her knees.
Pale pink toenails had poked out of delicate white sandals, and her sun kissed skin looked as inviting as ever.
She’d lightened her hair, blonder. But her eyes were that same piercing blue he had stared into all those years ago when she had asked him to take her virginity.
Yeah, he’d clocked everything. Including the big ass diamond on her finger, which hit him like a gut punch.
His reaction surprised him. He was the one who had left and cut all communication.
Of course, Charlie would have moved on and met someone.
Yet he couldn't deny the overwhelming sense of loss all over again.
Switching the lawn mower back on, he continued cutting the grass, but all he could see was her face.
Her pain. Fuck it. He had to fix this. At the very least he had to apologize.
A couple of minutes later, the lawn done, he pulled his T-shirt back on and headed inside to find his mom and Charlie sitting in the lounge drinking iced tea.
“James, are you all done? Why don’t you join us? You must need a drink. I was just asking Charlie if she would stay for dinner.”
Donnie hesitated. Charlie didn’t look at him, but he couldn’t miss the tension in her body. He took the glass of iced tea his mom had poured and studied his high school fantasy over the rim of the glass as he gulped it down.
“It would be great if you stay, Charlie. It would give us a chance to talk,” he said quietly, placing the now empty glass on the side table. She turned, meeting his gaze. The smile she gave him was forced.
“Looks like you need to take a shower,” she said, surprising him.
“She’s right, you do.” His mom gave a little laugh. “Go and wash up. Your dad should be back soon, and you can keep Charlie company while we make dinner.”
“Mrs. Donaldson, I’m not sure I can stay, I—”
“Oh, please stay. I haven’t seen you in so long, and I want to hear all about the wedding plans.”
Charlie’s cheeks turned pink, and she fidgeted in the chair.
“I’m going to go and take that shower.” Donnie didn’t really want to hear about Charlie’s wedding plans, although he was curious who the lucky man was.
By the time he returned, his folks were in the kitchen, chopping and dicing. He sat down across from Charlie and poured some more iced tea.
“Charlie?” he said softly, so his parents wouldn’t hear.
She looked up, raised her eyebrows, and he was drawn again to those beautiful baby blues. So like Nate’s. It made his heart pinch.
“Can we talk?”
She toyed with her glass. “The time for talking was ten years ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head and the sadness in her eyes made him want to reach out and touch her.
“I can’t do this.” She stood, causing his folks to stop and look over from the kitchen.
“I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Donaldson, I have to go. Work just texted.”
She hugged them, saying goodbye and promising to visit again soon. When she was done, she turned to face Donnie.
“Nice to see you again, Donnie. Take care.” Her smile did nothing to soften her icy tone. She couldn’t wait to get away from him.
“I’ll walk you out.”
Not giving her time to answer, he led the way to the front door and held it open for her. Once they were both outside, he closed it and followed her down the steps.
“Charlie. Wait. Please.”
She stopped and spun around. “No. I waited for you ten years ago. I waited for days, weeks. Months. I called. I texted.”
Her voice shook and two silent tears rolled down her cheeks. He felt like a complete and utter asshole.
“I know. I’m sorry.” His apology was inadequate, and he knew it. But he didn’t know what else to say. “I want to fix it. Tell me what I need to do.”
“Too little, too late. You broke my heart, Donnie. There is no fixing it.”
She turned and headed down the street. He didn’t stop her. A driver appeared from a stretch black Mercedes to open the door. She climbed into the back of the car without even a backward glance. Unable to drag his eyes away, Donnie stayed rooted to the path until the car disappeared out of sight.
Damn. He’d fucked up big time. He thought leaving Albany ten years ago was the right thing to do, but now for the first time, he was doubting his choice. He had left to prevent more pain, but if Charlie’s face was anything to go by, he’d caused more.
Back inside, he forced himself to focus on dinner with his folks. They chatted about nothing important, and he raved about his mom's cooking. Her chicken pot pie was as amazing as ever. It wasn’t often he got to eat a good home-cooked meal.
“It was lovely to see Charlie, wasn't it?” his mom asked.
“Yes. She looks well.”
“I’m surprised you two didn’t stay in touch. I mean you were both so close to Nate.”
Just hearing his name brought a lump to his throat. “It was a rough time for me, you know that.”
“I know. I’m sorry, darling. I didn’t mean to open old wounds.”
“It’s fine, Mom.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly.
“Well, she’s getting married in a few weeks. Maybe she’ll invite you to the wedding.” His dad said.
“I doubt it. We’re not that close now. I don’t even know who she’s marrying.”
His Dad frowned. “Yes, you do. Simon Radwell.”
Donnie almost choked on his food. Simon had been at school with him, same year.
From what he remembered, the guy was a bit of a dick.
Girls hung around him because he came from money and was always flashing it around.
Daddy had bought him a Porsche which he loved to show off at school.
He definitely hadn't shown any interest in Charlie back then, because Donnie would have known and would have put a stop to it. Simon’s reputation wasn’t good.
“You remember him, don’t you? His family are big in real estate.”
“Yes, I remember him. Didn’t know him too well.”
“The Radwells are big around here. You know Simon took care of all Al’s hospital bills following his heart attack and insisted on helping out with his treatment,” his mom said. “He couldn't do the landscaping anymore and well, being self-employed, he didn’t have much insurance,”
Perhaps Simon had changed. It had been ten years. They weren’t kids anymore. Explained the chauffeured car. If Simon made her happy, who was he to judge?
After his mom turned in for the night, he and his dad sat and shared a beer and watched the end of the ball game. Yankees were currently winning five nothing over the Red Sox in the seventh. Smiling he sent a quick text to Steve.
Sox are going down buddy!
“What you grinning about over there? Got a young lady on the go?”
“Nah. Steve’s a die-hard Sox fan. Just rubbing it in.”
“How are you, son?” The tone of his father’s voice made him put the phone down.
“I’m good. Why?”
“I’m not blind, James. Charlie showing up got to you. I know being here brings up memories of Nate. I guess even after all these years, it’s still hard on you.”
No kidding. “Yeah, it’s hard.”
“Why didn’t you ever reach out to her? Your mom’s right. The three of you were close.”
Donnie sighed. “I couldn’t. Seeing her was too painful a reminder of Nate.” It was partly the truth.
“She missed you. Used to come around, wanting to know if we knew where you were, how you were doing. I know you were hurting son and grieving in your own way. Charlie was too. It’s been ten years.
Isn’t it time you made amends? You two could barely look at each other earlier.
It seems such a shame when you were the two people closest to Nate. ”
Donnie swallowed down the lump in his throat. “Maybe it’s better this way. She’s getting married. Starting a new life. I bring bad memories, and she doesn’t need that.”
“How do you know what she needs? You and Nate were like brothers. Nate loved Charlie, and I’m sure he would have wanted you to be there for her.”
Donnie took a swig of his beer and avoided his father’s gaze, not wanting him to see his guilt.
The ball game ended with the Yankees winning, six nothing. His dad stood, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“I didn’t mean to get heavy. You’re a grown man and can make your own choices. It is really good to see you and you made your mom’s day today.”
Donnie smiled. “It’s good to be here.”
“Alright, I am going to go and see my birthday girl. I will see you in the morning.”
“Goodnight, Dad.”
Donnie stared at the television screen but had no idea what was on it.
The image of Charlie’s pained face taunted him.
He had known she would be upset at him leaving, but he’d convinced himself she would get over him quickly and move on.
He had underestimated just how hurt she would be.
Damn, it was unforgivable. He had a few days; maybe his dad was right.
It was time to lay the past to rest. He needed to apologize properly.
Neither of them were kids anymore. They were adults.
He was a goddamn special operator. He could protect Charlie from the truth and make amends. It was time.
***