Chapter Eighteen #2
He’d cut the conversation short earlier because he was conflicted.
He had wanted to ask Charlie to stay. She could move in permanently right now.
But it was a lot to ask, and he didn't want to frighten her away. She could probably get a transfer to a local office for work, but to move away from her family? Maddie? Being with him would be tough. Not just because he was blind right now. If he made it back to the team, he would be gone often. They hadn’t discussed any of that.
They hadn't discussed Simon either. He didn’t want to tell her about what Simon had done.
Didn’t want to cause her that pain, but it felt wrong keeping it from her.
Then there was Nate and the night he’d died.
Donnie clenched his fists and bowed his head. If he told her about that, it might change everything. Starting a relationship with secrets was not an option, but the thought of telling her filled him with dread. Doing it without being able to see her reaction felt even worse.
He slammed his hands against the vanity in frustration and raised his head. Fuck. Give me a sign please!
Feeling around the sink, he found his toothbrush and toothpaste and brushed his teeth.
He could still hear Charlie’s voice. Sounded like she was on the phone.
Rinsing out his mouth, he turned off the tap and reached for the light switch out of habit.
He assumed Charlie had put the light on, so he pressed it, hoping he was turning it off.
He froze. He touched it again. Then again.
Switching it on and off. He could see the difference.
He could see it was brighter and then darker. His hand trembled as he did it again.
“Donnie? You nearly done? Dinner is almost ready.” Charlie’s voice was right outside the door. He opened it and grinned.
“Good, you’re done. What are you grinning about?” she asked.
He switched the light on and off again, still grinning.
“Donnie?”
“I can see the difference.”
It took a moment to register, but he knew when it had because she gasped.
“Oh my God! You can see?”
“Not see, but I can tell when the light is on and when it’s off. I know it’s a small thing but—”
“No, it’s not a small thing. It’s fantastic.” Her arms were around his neck as she hugged him tightly. “You’re going to be fine. I just know it.”
He squeezed her tight, loving she was the one sharing this with him.
“Should we call Sophie?” she asked as she pulled back.
“No. Not yet. Let’s see how it goes. I have an appointment day after tomorrow.”
“Let’s go eat and celebrate.” She took his hand and guided him to the kitchen where they sat at the small island. He caught the clinks as she placed a plate in front of him and a fork.
“It’s just pasta with sausage. You didn’t have much to choose from.”
“It smells delicious.” Carefully, he took a bite. As was usual lately, the flavors burst on his tongue. His taste was way more sensitive than he remembered. “This is great, thank you. You didn't have to cook. We could have ordered in.”
“You’re welcome and I wanted to. You should know I’m not a kitchen goddess, but I get by.”
“We can get by together then.” He wasn't much of a cook either, but he’d be up for trying to cook with Charlie. It would be fun. If he could see.
“Who were you talking to earlier? I thought I heard you on the phone,” he asked.
“Yeah. My boss called. He has an assignment. He’s sending me over the details; I’ll take a look later or tomorrow. I still got a couple more days.”
“And I plan to make the most of them.”
He didn’t want to think about her leaving. It was too soon. But this was her job, and he knew how much she loved it. He reached for the beer Charlie had placed beside him and took a long swig from the bottle. “I’m going to miss you. Will you come back here when you get back?”
“I’d like that,” she said quietly. “We didn’t really finish our conversation earlier about how this will work.”
“I know.” Finished, he pushed away his plate. “I need to tell you about my job.”
“Oh. I didn’t think you could.”
“Not the details, but if we are going to do this, and I really want to, you should know what you’re getting yourself into.” He probably should have cleared this with Sam first, but he didn't want to wait.
“I spoke to the ladies last night about what it’s like being with a SEAL. They explained it to me.”
“They did? What did they say?” They wouldn't have mentioned Onyx, but he was intrigued.
“They said it can be hard. You can be gone for days or weeks. I wouldn't know where you were or what you’re doing. But they also said they support each other, and how proud they are of the whole team.”
Damn, those women were awesome. He loved all of them. If Charlie did this, she would have the most amazing support system.
“I’m not just a SEAL.” When she said nothing, he continued. “I can't give you too many details, but I am part of a special unit. A unit that very few people know about. We get sent to do the missions that the US government do not want recorded on paper. If you get my drift.”
“Holy shit. I thought being a SEAL was badass enough.”
He smiled. “Yeah, it’s pretty badass. It’s also very dangerous.
I’m not trying to scare you; I just want you to know.
I have the very best team around me. Two teams. We are very good at what we do, but shit happens.
Like it did to me. Obviously, I do not know if I’m making it back to active duty yet but, if I do, there’s no guarantee something won't happen again.”
“There’s no guarantee it will happen either,” Her warm hand covered his.
“I can be called to go at short notice. There’s a lot of training. Time away. Weekends. It’s a lot for any woman to put up with. Even if I’m never on active duty again and end up on a desk, the hours are long, irregular.”
“If you are trying to change my mind about us, it’s not going to work. If Sophie, Kelly, Mira, and Diane can make it work, then so can we.”
Damn, she was strong and determined. Before he could change his mind, he laid it out in the open.
“I love my job, Charlie, and it’s here in Coronado. Sight or no sight. I know I’m being selfish saying this, but I can’t leave. Especially now. I want you. I need you. But I also need my team. They are family to me.”
Silence. He waited, mentally cursing again that he couldn’t see her reaction. Then her hands were on his face as she stood in front of him. He spread his legs so she could get closer and placed his hands on her waist.
“Donnie, I would never ask you to leave your job or your team. Just being here these past couple of days, meeting the team, meeting the ladies, I can see what a wonderful family you have here, and how important they all are to you. To each other.”
He placed his hands over hers. “If you stayed here, they’d be your family, too.”
“Are you asking me to stay?”
He thought about Simon. Nate. Fuck. He should tell her, but this wasn't the time and dammit, he wanted her here. He’d tell her the rest. Just not now.
“Yes. I want you here in Coronado, with me. Preferably here in my home, in my bed, but I know I still need to win your trust. We can find you somewhere close. It’s a huge ask, I know. Your job, your folks, Maddie. I’m taking you away from what’s important to you.”
“Donnie, I travel for my work too. I’m already away from them. Coronado is further and yes, that will be harder, but you’re important to me, Donnie. I want to be with you.”
“Is that a yes?”
Her lips were on his and he pulled her closer, his hands in her hair as he kissed her back. When they finally broke apart, both were breathing heavy.
“It’s a yes, but I will want to spend time in Albany. Maybe we can go together, I mean your folks are there too. We can find time around both our schedules.”
“Of course. We’ll make time to go. Both of us. I promise. How the fuck did I get so lucky to get another chance with you?” He kissed her again. “I swear I won't let you down.”
Charlie was everything he’d dreamed of having. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but he held back the words. He needed to see her face when he told her.
That night, Donnie showed her in slow, attentive detail how much she meant to him.
When she drifted off to sleep in his arms, he held her close, more content than he could ever remember.
This, Charlie, here in his arms was everything he could ever want.
He no longer feared what the future held.
With this woman beside him, he could overcome anything.