Chapter Twenty #3
“Yes. I promise. I love you, Maddie. You’re the best friend a girl could have.”
***
IT WAS FIVE IN THE afternoon when Charlie rang. He’d had Mackie assign a different ring tone, so he’d know it was her.
“Hey, babe,” Donnie said softly.
“Hey,” She sounded cautious, nervous.
“It’s so good to hear your voice. I’ve missed you.” He heard an announcement in the background. “Where are you?”
“Airport, waiting for my flight to my assignment. I’m in the lounge, a quiet corner so I can talk. I got your voicemail. Sophie and the ladies called me, too.”
“They really like you.”
“I like them, too. I don’t have a lot of time, as I’ll be boarding soon, but I didn't want to leave without talking to you.”
Donnie sighed. “Thank you.”
Silence.
“Charlie?”
“I’m still here. You should have told me.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I wasn't expecting things to move so quickly with us. I’m not complaining. I just thought I would have more time to tell you, and I did plan to tell you. I swear. Even though I know it must hurt.”
“Hurt? That my ex-fiancé was a cheating, lying, drug-addicted man whore who was using me to get his Daddy’s business. Yeah, it hurts.”
The wobble in her voice was back.
“I’m sorry, Charlie. This is all about him. You fell in love with the wrong man, that’s all.”
“How could I not have seen any of it?” Her voice broke and Donnie wished he was there, holding her.
“He was manipulative. And you did notice. You sensed something wasn't right and you ended it,” he said trying to reassure her.
“I believed him when he said he was stressed out from work. Believed him when he said sorry after we had yet another fight.” She sniffed then sighed. “I feel like such an idiot.”
“You are not an idiot. Any man would be lucky to have you in their life.”
“Really? Well, I seem to have poor taste. You ran away from me, remember? I was stupid enough to believe everything you said back then, too. Just like I believed Simon.”
Donnie winced. “Charlie, the only stupid person back then was me. For leaving you. For staying away. I meant everything I said that night. I was the idiot that left.” He hated she was hurting. Hated she blamed herself for any of what happened.
“You said in your voicemail there was something else. That’s why I called. Whatever else he did, just tell me. I want to know.” She sounded resigned. Defeated.
“I’d rather do it in person.”
“I don’t know when that will be. Just tell me what he did. I need to know so I can deal with it and move on.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. This wasn’t going to be good.
“This isn't about Simon. It’s about Nate.”
***
EVERY MUSCLE IN HER body tensed. “Nate?”
What could Donnie possibly say about Nate? Christ, she was still reeling from the Simon revelations, but she was understanding better why Donnie had done what he had. What Simon had done was unthinkable. Nothing Donnie could say would be worse than that.
“Yes. About the night he died.”
She waited for him to continue, her stomach clenching.
“Charlie, I want you to know I don’t regret anything that happened between us that night. I meant every word I said. I wanted to date you. I wanted to be your boyfriend. What I’m going to tell you is all on me. It’s my fault.”
Silence.
“Donnie? You’re making me nervous. What’s your fault?” What the hell was he talking about?
“That night, I was meant to meet Nate. We were going to the movies. We’d agreed to meet at the theater because he was already on that side of town.
I bailed because I wanted to stay with you.
I sent him a text saying I couldn't make it. He crashed driving back home after I stood him up. He was probably pissed. If I had gone to the movie theater as we planned, Nate would be alive.”
At the emotion in Donnie’s voice, bile rose in Charlie’s throat.
“Oh, God. I asked you to come to the house. If I hadn’t asked you, then...” Her heart pounded in her chest.
“No! This is not on you, Charlie. I came to the house because I had time. I intended to meet Nate. I’m the one who changed the plans. Me. This is my fault not yours. You didn’t know I was on my way to meet him.”
The announcement of her flight boarding startled her. Shit. She wasn’t sure she could move. Donnie had stayed to make out with her while Nate drove to his death.
“That’s why you couldn't stay. You didn't want me to know.”
“I didn't want anyone to know. I couldn’t face you or your family knowing what I did. It was never about you, Charlie. I never stopped thinking about you. I was just too much of a coward to admit what I’d done.”
The second announcement came for her flight, and she got unsteadily to her feet.
“They’re calling my flight; I have to go.”
“Charlie? I’m sorry.” He’d said that a lot lately, but this time she wasn't sure it would be enough.
Her heart cracked. Had she been a part of Nate’s death by asking Donnie to come that night? Had Nate lost his life because she wanted to lose her virginity?
“I have to go. I...Jesus...I don’t know what to say.” She felt sick to her stomach. “I’ll call you when I get back.” She ended the call, silenced the phone, and headed to her gate, trying to keep herself together long enough to get on board and seated.