Chapter 15 #3
He tries the inside cut again. I arrive earlier, keep my blade in the lane, and match the first change. Nicholas delays instead of accepting the outside route.
I reach.
He moves the puck beneath my stick and exits through the gap I create.
The whistle stops us.
“Bad stick,” I say.
“Also an aggressive little shoulder,” Nicholas answers. “You attempted to turn being beaten into a character reference.”
“I didn’t hit you.”
“You abandoned the recovery because bumping me felt more authoritative.”
The assistant coach points us back toward the start. “Again. Michael, first route can fail without the rep ending.”
Nicholas settles another puck. “I promise not to admire your passion if you make the same mistake.”
“Generous.”
“I am known for it.”
He begins faster this time. I close the middle, and he chips the puck toward the outside space. My first angle works, but his momentum carries him beyond my shoulder before I can gain possession.
I could finish him legally.
Instead, I turn through the route, keep my stick available, and recover between Nicholas and the puck. He reaches around me. I use board leverage without driving upward through his chest, then move the puck toward the support player entering below us.
The whistle sounds after possession exits the lane.
Nicholas circles away. “That was irritating.”
“Technical approval?”
“I preferred you when your mistakes supplied entertainment.”
He does not tap my pads or tell me the restraint proves anything. He returns to the start cone and increases the pressure on the next repetition.
Patrick joins only after Irene and the medical staff clear him for the controlled work. He arrives with his own route sheet and no interest in making the session comfortable for me.
The drill begins with him underneath my wall pressure. My job is to angle the carrier outside, hold position, and leave Patrick a second route if the puck comes loose.
On the first repetition, I force the carrier toward the boards and reach the puck first. Patrick calls for it behind me.
I turn toward possession.
His stick hits the back of my skate.
The whistle goes.
“You blocked me,” Patrick says.
“I had the puck.”
“You had the first touch. I had the exit.”
“I could move it.”
“You were facing the wall.”
The assistant coach sends us back to the start without resolving the argument for either of us.
Before the next repetition, I look at Patrick. “What support do you want?”
His expression changes, not into forgiveness or approval, but attention.
“Keep the carrier outside,” he says. “If the puck comes behind you, leave it unless I call different. If I switch to the wall, tell me before you take the middle.”
“What if the carrier turns through me?”
“Hold him long enough for me to recover. Don’t chase him after the puck moves.”
“Anything after the whistle?”
“Ask whether I’m all right.”
The simplicity leaves no room for the old role to present itself as necessary.
We reset.
The carrier enters. I close the inside lane, use my hips against the wall, and keep the stick low. The puck comes loose behind my skates.
Patrick calls, “Leave.”
I continue through the body route instead of turning toward possession. Patrick collects the puck in motion and exits through the middle.
The rep ends cleanly.
On the next attempt, Patrick switches toward the wall before the carrier releases the puck.
“Wall,” I call.
I move inward, take away the return lane, and let Patrick use my shoulder as a screen while he carries the puck out.
After the whistle, he points toward the space I vacated. “That’s where I needed you.”
“I saw.”
“You said it early enough.”
I make a note on the route sheet before the next repetition. No one calls the exchange trust.
The nonprofit review occurs in the program office without children, families, or active clinic staff present. Monica sits at the worktable with the outside-conduct policy, my volunteer record, the second-fight notice, and the temporary suspension of assignments arranged in separate folders.
Diana’s chair remains under the far side of the table.
I do not look toward it again.
Monica begins with the authority map. “I control your volunteer status. Diana Alvarez has no role in this individual decision. The board contact has reviewed the process and confirmed that the relationship change does not modify the applicable standard.”
“Understood.”
“Your professional fight did not occur at the program. It still affects volunteer access because the conduct is public, repeated, directly connected to the reason for your original placement, and capable of affecting participant and parent trust.”
“Yes.”
“The policy permits removal, suspension, restricted training, or return under conditions. Required service is already complete, so no result here affects your team compliance record.”
“I know.”
She studies the form I submitted through the volunteer channel. “You applied for continued training rather than ordinary clinic work.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“I’m not ready for public-facing work. The fight repeated the conduct parents were told the program took seriously. I want to continue learning the curriculum if the policy allows it, without participants being used to test whether I can follow it.”
“You did not offer extra hours.”
“No.”
“You did not propose a donation, media appearance, apology session, or meeting with families.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“None of those gives the program permission to use children for my repair.”
Monica writes something on the review page. “Accurate. Also not sufficient by itself.”
“I know.”