13. Ian
13
IAN
Every stroke of our paddles connecting with the water around us makes it easier to see that we’re about to win, and the smile on Chloe’s face is the best prize I could ask for.
Not that I had any doubts. Chloe and I rowed so often together that our bodies instinctively work in tandem. I work the left side, and she works the right. Ten counts each, and then we switch.
Somewhere a couple hundred strokes back, we passed Kennedy and Linc, who cursed the entire time about us cheating and working some sort of sorcery.
“I can’t wait to take their money,” Chloe huffs. “I forgot how much fun it was.”
I haven’t. Every single detail about our life together burns bright in my memory as I watch her slip further and further away. And even though Chloe tells me that she isn’t walking away, there is still a hole in my chest. Just an empty void, waiting for her to turn her back on me and everything that we are supposed to be building together.
So while we paddle toward shore, I’m already trying to come up with a way to make sure that Chloe doesn’t run. When the bottom of our kayak slides into the gravel on shore, Chloe throws herself out of the front and into my lap, kissing me with all she is worth.
“We won!” Her exclamation sounds more like a whimper with our lips pressed together still, and I can’t help the smile that lights up my face.
“Did you really have any doubt?”
As gracefully as I can manage, which isn’t very, I get the two of us out of the kayak while Chloe’s legs are still wrapped around my waist.
“I want you.” The words feel like acid pouring down my throat, exposing the need I can’t hide or fight. The same need that less than a day before would have sent Chloe running in the opposite direction.
Even though it’s impossible, I swear I can feel the heat coming from her core as she pushes down onto me and her lips meet mine.
The rocks on the shore bite into the bottom of my feet but I don’t let go of the hold I have on her ass, letting my fingers slide under the hem of her bathing suit. The way her back arches when her mouth opens against mine and our tongues fight for control sends a jolt of electricity down my spine.
Fuck the race.
With her in my arms, I break the kiss and carry her up the stairs to the lake house. Even if I want to pull her suit to the side and take her on the beach, I don’t think Chloe would be okay with our friends seeing me fuck her. Not the way I need to. The way I want to.
As it is, I don’t think I’ll last once I start. Like an idiot, I’ve been pushing myself further and further, to see how long I can go without having an orgasm, the entire time thinking of her.
“Ian.” Her low timbre fills my veins with need. “Hurry.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Following her order is simple enough. Her room is the first in the hall, and I close the door before setting her down on her toes.
As Chloe’s body rubs completely against mine, I’ve had enough teasing.
“Strip,” I command.
When she isn’t moving fast enough, reaching back for the ties that hold her top together, I grab the sides of her bathing suit bottoms and rip them down her legs, finding exactly what I want.
Wet and achingly sweet, I lick her slit and smile against her body when her cry fills the air.
“Good.” I go to work, making sure that regardless of what happens when we start, Chloe has at least one orgasm first. If I’m lucky, she’ll get two.
But it’s been so long for me that I know once we start, I’m going to turn into a selfish asshole. At this moment in time, there’s nothing I can do about it but try to hold it off for as long as possible.
“Hurry,” Chloe repeats again when my fingers find their target. Instead, I take my time and then smile up at her flushed face. Her body goes rigid for two seconds before she starts trembling, and I seal my lips around her clit, drawing it gently between my teeth.
Holding tight, I let her orgasm rip through her body, while I use one arm to make sure that she doesn’t collapse. Once I feel the vibrating waves start to ebb away, I let go of her waist and smack her ass, smiling again against her skin when she sighs rather than yells at me.
“Again.”
This time, I stand up, taking her with me, and lay her back on the bed with her ass on the edge and her legs hanging over.
Getting comfortable, I pull so that they drape over my shoulders and make sure Chloe comes for me again. Yes, my dick is so hard that it hurts, but I’m not about to put my needs above hers. My desire is nothing compared to the ecstasy of holding her in my arms and giving her something that no other man has. That no one else will.
“Yes, Ian.” Her moan fills my ears, and my dick twitches in response.
Finally, I feel the second wave. Her legs, wrapped around my body, tighten almost into a viselike grip, and she drags a hand through my hair, doing her best to force my head even further between her perfect legs.
When I finally come up for air, Chloe is breathing deeply, her chest rising and falling rapidly. But she doesn’t move. She doesn’t push me away. Her eyes find mine, and she smiles.
“Your turn.”
Her words catch me off guard. I don’t expect her to be capable of saying anything at all, with how hard it is for her to catch her breath.
That doesn’t stop me from stripping out of my shorts and palming the erection that springs out. In fact, it just makes me harder. Her scent on my face, the way her body reacts to mine, is the most intense aphrodisiac I’ve ever encountered in my life. While I stare at her body laid out on the bed, a feast just for me, I realize that no one will ever complete me the way she does.
Before I can think too much, or lose her eyes on mine, I climb on the bed between her legs, kissing every inch of her body as I go.
Chloe’s fingers dig into my shoulders and she growls my name when I don’t move fast enough for her. “If you don’t, I swear I’m going to hurt you.”
“Don’t what?” I ask with a chuckle against her stomach.
“If you don’t fuck me, Ian Keller, I’m going to make you regret it.”
“I’m going to, Chloe. You know that. Have I ever left you needy?”
She moans as I slide my hands up her rib cage and play with her breasts. But she doesn’t answer me.
“Chloe?”
“Hmm?” Her eyes are closed and her head has fallen back against the pillow. “What did you say?”
“I asked you if I’ve ever left you needy.”
“No.” She sighs. “But if you start now, I’m gonna cry.”
I work my way up her body, ignoring her taunts and pleas, kissing everything my mouth comes into contact with, until I have her earlobe in my mouth.
“I’m not going to fuck you, Chloe.” My words cause her entire body to stiffen underneath me, and I let go of her with one hand around her neck and the other guiding my cock. “I’ve never just fucked you.”
She is beyond words by then, reacting with sounds and movements that I know better than any language.
In one smooth thrust, I’m seated completely inside her, and Chloe’s sharp cry of pleasure echoes around us.
When I move, pulling back, her fingers dig into my skin. “No,” she cries out.
But she knows. She knows I’ll have to move to give her exactly what she wants. So I ignore the pain of her nails scratching into my skin and pull almost all the way out before sliding back in again.
“I make love to you, don’t I?” The question leaves my lips on a hoarse whisper.
“Yes.” Her quiet whimpers guide me.
Like I knew before we even started, less than ten strokes and I’m fighting the urge to let go.
Not yet.
Not until she falls over that cliff with me into the abyss.
I need it.
She needs it.
I think I may be able to make it, too. Until Chloe reaches up and bites me on the neck, sucking the skin into her mouth and caressing it with her tongue.
I hit the roof, and every single bit of control I have over the situation flies out the window.
One more thrust, burying myself completely inside her, and I have no choice but to let go. I couldn’t hold it back if there was a gun to my head. Chloe’s pussy is too good. Too tight. Too perfect.
Thankfully, her orgasm hits at the same time, rocking through her bones and making her bite down even more.
When I feel the skin break away slightly, and the first pinch of pain, I know that I’ll have a bruise, but I give zero fucks.
Chloe is mine.
All mine.
And I’ll wear any mark on my body to prove it.
She owns me.
So when she lets go and falls back to the bed, I do the smart thing. I pull out of her body and get a wet washcloth from the bathroom, tending to her gently while she recuperates and starts to rest.
Once we’re both cleaned up, I crawl next to her, covering our bodies with a sheet that had gotten thrown out of the way at some point.
“Thank you,” Chloe breathes into my chest when I drag her closer and lay her head against my body. “I needed that.”
“So did I.”
Not once do I feel like I shouldn’t give her every bit of myself. That’s what makes our relationship work. What lets it succeed. Complete honesty.
Which means that I have to address the elephant in the room. The huge fucking elephant that we both ignored in the moment while we took our pleasure.
At least I have her naked and plastered against my body, so she’s less likely to get up and march out. Plus, we’re in her room. So I guess she’d be kicking me out. But again, naked bodies plastered together. That, and I know for a fact that I gave her three mind-blowing orgasms.
“Why’d you give me back the ring, Chloe?” I need to know like I need air. Unless she gives me her truth, I’ll forever be afraid that at any minute, it’ll happen again.
She doesn’t answer for long enough that I think I may have fucked her into a coma. Or she doesn’t want to tell me because she doesn’t want me.
Then she taps her fingers against my chest and takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to tell you.”
There isn’t petulance or anger in her voice. She sounds different than any other time there’s been something to confront in our lives. Usually, she runs headfirst into any situation, ready and willing to address it and make it better. Lying there in my arms, she sounds almost ashamed.
But not my Chloe.
Not with me.
There’s nothing she should ever be ashamed of.
My throat fills with sand, and when I try to talk, to ask her why, I can’t move my tongue.
Fear that she’ll tell me it is a mistake, that she’ll walk away, courses through my veins. It won’t rest, won’t leave, won’t even ease in the slightest from its grip around my throat, until Chloe answers me.
Like there is a door blocking my calm, and she is the only one with the key.
Completely oblivious to my torment, Chloe continues to tap my chest in sync with my heartbeat.
“I asked you to come home, Ian.”
Her shame isn’t about me.
It’s herself that Chloe wants to beat up about something, to torture. And I don’t know what’s worse, that I thought she would blame me, or the truth.
Because the truth being that Chloe blames herself is a terrible thing. One that I’m not sure I can fix for her, and that terrifies me.
“I asked you to choose me over the Marine Corps. To come home and start your practice. So that we could finally get married and start our family. I was selfish, for the first time in my entire life. And Kevin let me do it. He encouraged it. He told me he thought it was the best idea ever. He didn’t tell me that I needed to think it over. Even though I knew it was your life. That you would serve another enlistment, and another after that. I asked you to choose. And if I hadn’t, my brother would still be alive.” It’s all my fault.
“That’s it?”
In a tangle of arms and legs, I have Chloe on her back again, and myself positioned between her legs, but there isn’t a sexual reason for me to be there, even if I can feel my dick touch her inner core.
“You’re not the reason I came home when you asked, Chloe.” Her eyes flash with pain. “I was always coming home to you. You asking me to come home, that didn’t make it happen any faster than I’d already planned. I didn’t want a career out of the Marines. I wanted to do my duty. To give my all. And I did. While I did it, I got my degrees and my certification as a therapist. That’s not on you. That was all me. Planning for our future. Using the military to help me reach that goal a little bit easier, and without hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.”
When she opens her mouth, ready to argue the point with me some more, I kiss her into silence. Over and over, I force her to open for me, until she wraps her legs around my waist. As much as I want to take her again, I manage to extricate myself from her hold and sit back. When she raises up on her elbows, watching me with hooded eyes, I bite my lip to keep from giving in.
There are more important things going on in this bed right now, and I need her to understand. “You’re not the reason Kevin died.”
I want to crawl back into bed with her. I want to take away all her pain.
But Chloe needs time to think. To process her emotions.
I won’t be the one to force her into action before she has her head on straight.
I can’t compete with her guilt, and there is no way that I’ll use sex to my advantage.
“Get some rest, Chloe.”
I walk out even though it breaks my heart.