Chapter 10 Lissa #2
A lump formed in her throat. Of course he was leaving.
Though he’d only been here for a day, the idea was upsetting.
Wrestling her emotions under control, she heaped a couple of spoonfuls of hot chocolate powder into each cup.
“You’re welcome.” Once more, heat crept upward onto her face.
She remained facing the opposite direction while she mixed it with the boiling water, taking longer than necessary to settle herself.
She placed a steaming mug beside Cam and another beside her place. “I’m sorry, I don’t have marshmallows. I ran out ages ago.”
Cam met her gaze, and warmth spread through her veins. “This is already special treatment. Thanks.” Breaking eye contact, he added two cards to the crib hand, and they settled in to play.
“Since we’re stuck here for a few more days, or perhaps most of the next six weeks, maybe we can get to know each other better.” Cam sipped his drink, his kind eyes meeting hers once more.
“What did you have in mind?” Lissa’s mind seemed blank, though she was curious about Cam’s past. She fidgeted with the cards in her hand, making her fan neater.
“We could take turns asking questions,” he said. “I’m not great at talking about myself, but I can answer.”
“All right.” She was similar. This evening was turning out like an odd first date. “It’s your idea, so you ask first.” She played a card and started the counting section of the game by playing a four.
“How old are you?” He matched her card and tallied two points on the scoring page. They traded cards, continuing to count.
She played again. “Thirty. In the game, and my age.” She hadn’t paid attention to her last several birthdays. With no one to celebrate with, they’d seemed irrelevant. In April, she’d be thirty-one. Once she’d have considered that old. Now she just felt lucky to be alive.
“Go.”
She played an ace. “Thirty-one. For two.” She ‘pegged’ her two points. “You?”
He smiled. “Thirty-two in January.”
She liked how the numbers of their ages and the game went together. Her mind had always made odd connections with ordinary things, like sequential numbers. They kept playing, her attention given to the game. Though it was his turn, Cam waited before asking another question.
She was about to nudge him, as a reminder, when he said, “What was your dream job when you were a kid?”
Lissa hadn’t thought about her childhood ambitions in ages.
While she’d enjoyed being a nurse practitioner, once she’d wanted to work with dolphins and whales.
“A marine biologist, I guess. I wanted to work with and train whales. When I was twelve or thirteen, I read a book called A Ring of Endless Light, and the main character swam with dolphins as part of a summer research project. I wanted to be like her.” She’d always been a reader.
“You grew up in that bunker place,” she said, still in the game’s flow as she counted the points in her hand. “Fifteen two, fifteen four, fifteen six, and a double run is fourteen.” She tallied her hand on the score sheet.
“Vita xTerra,” he said, smile lines appearing by his grayish-green eyes as he marked his score.
“Right. In xTerra. Are there jobs there or a community? Or do you all live underground, alone?”
He collected the cards, shuffled, and dealt again.
“As long as I’ve lived there, there’s always been a thriving community and jobs.
There’s an aboveground meeting hall attached to the intake office, a cafe, and the medical center.
In the old days, we used to have fewer jobs because we had a smaller population, but xTerra has grown into a small town now.
We have a dozen doctors, two dozen nurses, several teachers, and a variety of artists, craftspeople, and scientists.
Many community members have learned how to spin, weave, farm, and make clothing.
I joined the Watch after the asteroid hit, since my college aspirations were kaput. ”
“The Watch?” She placed two cards into his crib while he deliberated what to add.
He gave himself a pair of cards. “We guard the wall. Watch for problems.” He grinned. “Hence the name.”
“Problems like the Slains.” They gave her the creeps.
“Have you had personal experience with them?” His steady gaze rose to meet hers. A spark of anger filled his eyes, like perhaps he would be angry on her behalf if she’d run afoul of them.
Lissa shook her head. “Not up close. They’ve been to Fort Robinson a few times. I’ve only ever observed them, mostly to ensure they weren’t coming near my place.” She looked up. “I’m not usually fond of surprises.” Cam’s presence was the exception.
“Why did you follow me?” Cam raised an eyebrow but kept his voice neutral.
“It isn’t your turn to ask a question.” She examined her cards, her cheeks growing hot. She’d given herself away twice. Of course he would ask. She pretended to be considering what to throw into the crib. She couldn’t say she’d been fascinated by Cam.
“You’re stalling.” His voice was warm, laced with amusement.
Her gaze flicked upward to confirm she’d read him right. “Maybe a little.” She hesitated, considering what else she wanted to know. With a glance away from her cards, she spoke toward the fire. “Why won’t your brothers be worried sooner?”
“So, we’re going there.” He sighed. “For all that we’re brothers, they’re close to each other, and I’ve always been on the outside.
Jed, Aiden, and Nate still live at home with our mother, while I moved out as soon as I could.
” He shifted on his wooden chair, his gaze intent on his latest cards.
“She said some unkind things before I left, and they probably agree.” A note of sadness entered his voice. “She called me a traitor.”
Traitor was a harsh word. Lissa couldn’t imagine this man turning on his people. “Why would she say that?” Now she was the one asking out of turn, but he didn’t seem to notice, or care.
“As the mayor, she wanted to keep xTerra exclusive, and when I was on watch, I let an older couple and their teenage granddaughters in so they could join our community.”
She reached for his hand, resting hers on top of his momentarily, unable to ignore the zing that shot through her at contact.
“Her words must have hurt.” She swallowed, chasing away unwanted sympathy tears.
Lissa had forgotten the extent to which others’ emotions could trigger hers. She’d always been an emotional mirror.
He shrugged. “It didn’t surprise me. I knew letting them through the gate would make my mother angry.” His tone suggested he’d been resigned to making her displeased.
“But you did it anyway,” Lissa said. “Because it was the right thing to do.” She took her hand away and gathered the loose cards to shuffle.
He nodded. “She didn’t understand.”
They played several hands without more questions, the silence amicable as friendship bloomed from something unspoken. The game progressed and stayed relatively even as first she led, then he did.
Cam finally broke the silence. “What do you miss most about your husband?”
Startled by the change in topic, her tears welled.
She blinked, trying to ignore them. Lissa could barely remember Derrick’s face, and they hadn’t been married for long.
She almost didn’t answer, but Cam had shared his mother’s words and something real.
The least she could do was to speak the truth.
“Without Derrick, I didn’t have anyone I could let my guard down around.
At the Refugee Center, I had to mask constantly.
Plus, it sounds selfish, but I also missed mattering to someone.
” She felt her heart on display, like maybe she’d said too much, but words continued to spill.
“Company. Feeling like if something went wrong, he’d help, so I didn’t flail around on my own.
When Derrick didn’t return, I struggled in what suddenly became a world about strength and power.
I also had to watch people so carefully to ascertain their intentions. ”
She flicked a glance up to see Cam intent on her words. “Women aren’t usually physically as strong as men, and several tried to take advantage.” She lifted her chin. Like her former supervisor, Mr. Blackburn and his sons.