Chapter 13 Lissa
After Cam and Lissa’s trip to town, they rested for two days, allowing his sore foot to rest. Then, they took three more days to hook the stove into the kitchen’s ductwork.
They’d cut the new hole for the stovepipe before insulating and patching the wall.
On her own, she would have worried about making a hole in the house, but Cam had no trouble judging the size, filling the gap, and re-insulating the house.
She would miss his handiness and willingness to pitch in.
On the third night, to test the stove, Lissa fried potatoes in a frying pan while she boiled water on the other end.
She loved how easy it was to regulate the temperature by moving her cookware to different sections—all while standing.
The new stove also impressed her with how much heat it threw.
She might not use it much in the coldest part of winter.
She preferred one fire to feed, rather than two, which seemed a waste.
However, in the summer, when she only required a fire for cooking, the stove would be fantastic.
Canning would be so much easier too with a stove, and she would enjoy using the kitchen more.
Not having a fire in her main room when it was sweltering outside would also help her keep the inside cooler.
Lissa was touched that Cam had thought of how to make her life better once he was gone.
She sighed. She’d think of him every time she used the stove. A blessing or a curse?
Either way, when he left, she was going to miss him.
On the constant verge of tears at his imminent departure, she avoided looking at him while she finished cooking.
Mira and Luna were excellent company and were her family.
But they weren’t human and didn’t speak.
They’d been substitutes for people for so long that she’d convinced herself humans weren’t all they were cracked up to be.
But Cam felt like the right person.
For nearly her whole life, she’d felt alone.
Until now. Cam understood her in a way that no one else ever had.
Growing up, she hadn’t felt like she belonged anywhere.
Her family had moved every year or two, following her father’s jobs.
Then, her mother had left the two of them, not wanting a nomadic life.
She’d never called or come back. After her departure, Lissa’s quiet father had become closed off and distant.
After graduation, Lissa had lost touch with her father when she’d gone to university and trained as a nurse practitioner.
Later, she’d taken a job at a hospital and met Derrick, who’d sold medical supplies.
He’d been smiley and fun and made her laugh.
For a short time, she’d been giddy and swept off her feet.
She’d fallen hard, and they’d gotten married six months later.
They’d had ten months of wedded bliss before the asteroid.
Her time with Derrick felt more like a fleeting dream with every passing day.
Then she’d gone back to being alone.
On her own, she’d fallen back on relying on herself.
Then, Cam had found her. While quiet, he was warm.
He didn’t smile often, but his laughter lit him up inside and made her feel included.
Something about him made her want to open up, to share her thoughts.
Probably because he seemed non-judgmental.
He also made her believe that being herself was enough.
She didn’t have to pretend or mask to be accepted.
Though she’d shut down physical intimacy between them, they’d talked about their histories and secrets, becoming genuine friends.
Perhaps more than friends, even without kissing or sex.
Sometimes she caught herself watching his large hands as he fastened or fixed something, or stealing glances when he emerged from the bathroom wrapped in only a towel.
His hard muscles and corded forearms were things of beauty.
She would bite her lip and look away. His quiet strength was difficult to resist.
She’d maintained physical distance to protect her heart, but she’d been stupid.
She’d been so focused on day-to-day, she’d forgotten something important.
There was more to life than survival. She should be living.
Caring about someone else, having someone to look after and to rely on, meant a lot, and she was about to lose him.
Her stomach churned. Maybe she’d wasted the only time she and Cam would ever have.
As they ate, her leg jiggled under the table.
She couldn’t sit still, and she couldn’t concentrate on tonight’s card game.
Adrenaline coursed through her, and she didn’t have an outlet for her energy or emotions.
Tonight was his last night, and she was wasting it.
“You’re distracted tonight,” said Cam after winning a third straight game. “I know what you need.” He got up with a smile and grabbed their usual mugs, spooning hot chocolate powder into them.
Lissa’s heart thumped faster, seeming so loud it might pound out of her chest. How could he not hear it?
This was her last chance to act on the feelings overwhelming her.
It was now or never. She walked over to Cam, stood on tiptoe, and kissed him.
For three seconds, he froze, his eyes wide.
Then, he took her face between his palms and kissed her back.
Her head emptied, and the rush of confusion slowed.
This was what she was born to do. Their breaths mingled as they sighed into the kiss.
When he stepped back, his hands dropped. “You must really want hot chocolate.” His warm voice was amused.
She shook her head. “I want you. Please.”
His faint smile faded. “I still have to leave in the morning.” He reached for her hand.
She blinked back tears. “I know. You said you need to go home. I respect you too much to change your mind, but tonight, I want to feel everything I’ve been denying.” She swallowed, losing herself in the depths of his steadfast eyes.
From his expression, he looked torn.
“I want this. I want to remember this.” Her chin trembled, and she struggled not to cry as once more, her emotions boiled. She clenched her jaw. Damn. If she spoke again, her tears might break free.
Cam squeezed her hand, his eyes riveted on hers. “You’re sure.”
Steeling herself, she nodded. “Just tonight. That’s all we have, and I want you.” She was proud that her voice remained steady.
He made a sound, half groan, half growl, then dove at her, tugging her closer as his mouth claimed hers. Hard. His other hand slipped under her shirt and palmed her breast through her bra. With a deeper growl, he said, “You’re wearing too many damn clothes.”
She shoved his flannel shirt from his shoulders.
“You too.” Somehow, they stopped kissing long enough to undress.
Though the room was warm and the fire blazed, her skin broke out in goosebumps as he trailed a finger along her jaw.
Then, his look intense, his stormy eyes as gray as she’d ever seen, he ran a finger slowly down her sternum.
He pressed a series of kisses along her clavicle on both sides. Her skin tingled, and she shivered.
He gave a low moan. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” He caressed her hip, then pulled her tight against him. He was hard. “You’re sure?” Still, he hesitated, his gaze fixed on hers.
“Please, Cam. I need you to make me feel alive.” Her breathless voice couldn’t contain her longing.
He closed his eyes and inhaled.
She held her breath, certain he would decline.
She swallowed. “I want you. Not someone. You. Tonight.” She rested a hand on his face, feeling the prickle of his short stubble. Her other hand rested on his chest.
Cam’s skin was hot and smooth but solid.
For weeks, she’d tried not to watch him without his shirt on as he shaved, but she’d admired him all the same.
His broad shoulders and slim fingers. For weeks, she’d yearned to touch him.
Now, she had a chance. Her hand drifted lower.
His chest hair was soft. She stood on her toes again, pulling his head to hers so she could kiss him.
Perhaps her lips were the signal as his lips devoured hers, and his hands roamed everywhere, setting her on fire.
“Sweetheart, you’re so slick.” His fingers traced her wetness. “Get on the bed. I want to taste you.”
She went, sliding up the mattress, keeping her gaze on his. She loved the predatory gleam as he tracked her motion.
“I want to look at you.” His voice was deep and gruff as he strode nearer.
She hadn’t experienced his bossy side. In this context, she loved how hot it made her.
“You shaved for me.” He stalked to the end of the bed.
She nodded, her cheeks warming.
“You planned this all day, didn’t you?” His gray eyes were as dark as charcoal.
She nodded and licked her lips. She hadn’t been sure of her courage, but she’d been certain of her desire.
“Show me how you’ll touch yourself when I’m gone.” His chest heaved.
Her hand dipped lower. She was so wet she was almost embarrassed until it was clear he enjoyed watching. She slid one finger through her folds. He groaned, his gaze intent.
“Suck your finger.” His erection bobbed as he knelt between her legs. He still hadn’t touched her, and she might come from his blazing eyes alone.
She did as he asked.
“I want to devour you.”
She nodded, afraid to speak and break this spell, unable to look away. Her breath grew ragged.
“Say what you want again.” He dragged one finger through her core, nudging against her most sensitive place. He swirled his fingers, and her eyes rolled back. She pressed against the bed as her hips bucked, unable to remain still.
“Lick me. Fuck me. Make me come. Make me think of you every time I touch myself. Please, Cam.” Her voice was quiet but intense as it escaped.
With one hand touching her stomach, he pushed her flat. “If you change your mind, tell me to stop.”