Chapter 16 Lissa
April
Lissa carried on without Cam through the long, cooped-up, lonely months.
Winter stretched thinner and older, while some of the everyday satisfaction and joy of living evaporated without him.
After she’d experienced his companionship, it was more difficult to convince herself that she preferred to be alone.
Seven weeks with Cam around had dispelled the lie she’d told herself to get by, and so far, she’d been unable to regain the previous feeling of satisfaction.
Though she’d made a comfortable life, she was existing, not living.
She needed to do better. Maybe keeping busy would help keep her mind off Cam. Grabbing her fishing rod, she headed out. On her way to the pond and stream below in the meadow, she tromped through the forest, her jacket unzipped, her gloves stuffed into her pocket.
She tipped her face toward the sun as she hiked, enjoying the sensation of warmth on her bare skin.
A robin landed on the ground nearby, and she stopped to watch as it hopped along the edge of the path.
She smiled, watching it bob as it moved.
Just beyond, another landed, the two birds staring at one another as they skipped along the muddy ground, each searching for food and territory.
Lissa continued through the forest, searching for additional signs of spring.
If anything could bring back her contentment, it would be signs of new life.
While patches of half-melted snow remained in the shade, most of the muddy ground was bare.
Around her lay endless swaths in a multitude of dull browns.
Upon closer inspection, pale green shoots stuck up through matted masses of dead grass, and many branches held sticky buds. She couldn’t wait for more green.
She inhaled the scent of thawing earth, relishing the rich aroma that meant spring was warming the frozen land.
Soon, leaves would return to the trees, blossoms to the flowers, and birds would be everywhere, their calls filling the forest with sound.
Animals would have young, and insects would hatch and arrive to provide background noise.
Everywhere around her, life and color would return. Spring was usually her favorite time.
Still, Lissa couldn’t quite get into the spirit of the season.
She’d attached Cam’s map to the wall at home.
When she felt most alone, she’d trace the route she might take someday.
xTerra wasn’t that far, especially compared to the hundreds of miles she’d trekked between here and Denver.
If she were going to travel the distance to see him, this might be the best time of year.
If she visited in the summer or fall, she’d miss too much gardening and harvesting time.
She didn’t want to set up a problem for winter by being negligent.
Maybe she could leave in a couple of weeks.
Lissa could plant her garden and then go.
She gnawed the inside of her cheek. She’d already worried it bloody trying to decide.
He’d left her the map. He must hope she’d visit.
She blushed imagining their reunion. She’d replayed their last evening many times.
At least she’d gone with her heart and spoken her mind.
Only twice had she removed the paper from the wall to reread his letter on the other side to reassure herself that their feelings had been mutual and not imagined.
He probably hadn’t considered how devastating his disappearance would be—having twice the impact because it had reminded her of Derrick. There one day, vanished the next.
Lissa sighed, stopping to check the view from the bluffs.
Traveling sixty miles on foot to see a man wasn’t a sensible plan.
She tried not to think about Cam during daylight hours, but today was special.
Thoughts of him were unavoidable because, for the first time since last October, she’d hiked to Fort Robinson—where they’d first met.
Below, the Fort grounds appeared quiet, without campfires or tents, or the bustle of activity like when the Slains had camped. She descended along the muddy track toward the quiet buildings clustered near the pond. Cam had mentioned new locks on the main door, which she wanted to check out.
While crossing what used to be a parking area, she frowned. Faded tire tracks pressed into the mud in front of the main building indicated someone had already been here this spring, perhaps two or three days ago. Before that, had been heavy rain, so older signs would have washed away.
Though the vehicle wasn’t here now, she proceeded with caution, approaching the large brick structure with her heart rate accelerating.
She inhaled. No smoke came from the chimneys.
If someone had moved in, she expected to tell, whether by mess, noise, lights, or something.
Abandoned and neglected spaces had a feel. This place still seemed deserted.
Still, in case the house was occupied, she crouched below the level of the windows as she sidled along the edge of the porch and tiptoed up the wooden stairs to the door.
The shiny silver locks Cam had mentioned were still fastened.
Lissa let out a breath and shook out her tight shoulders.
She leaned closer to the window and peeked inside.
Not just crates, but boxes and furniture filled the open downstairs front rooms. Like someone was moving in.
Her heart sank. Maybe soon. Then she’d lose her favorite fishing area.
Still, she didn’t want to dwell and ruin today.
She’d just have to catch as many fish as possible before heading home.
She’d dry or smoke whatever she couldn’t eat fresh.
Lissa turned and stared at the pond and wooden dock where she’d spent hours over the last six summers.
When surrounded by bulrushes and covered in water lilies, it was gorgeous.
She enjoyed listening to the frogs croaking, and several times she’d watched turtles sunning themselves on rocks or fluffy baby ducks trailing their mother.
She wouldn’t be doing that again with new people living here.
Despite her best efforts, more of her positive outlook evaporated.
She didn’t want neighbors, especially if they were the Slains.
It could be someone else, but the locks and moving in stages led her to believe, the powerful group was expanding.
Disheartened, she slipped off the porch and strode across the flattened brown meadow grass toward the first fishing hole along the stream.
She hesitated while passing the pond’s shoreline, noting the dark water still held floating chunks of slushy ice with little open water.
Much too cold for frogs and turtles yet.
She glanced around, not wanting to remain at the pond for long.
It suddenly felt too exposed to remain in the open, so she bypassed the dock and carried on.
Along the meandering stream, she relaxed somewhat and spent several peaceful hours, traveling from pool to pool, moving upstream each time she caught a fish. In three or four hours, she caught a dozen trout, the largest ones longer than her forearm.
With her catch stowed inside a cooler bag with a chunk of ice, she retraced her trail, the most direct route to the upward path crossing behind the Fort.
When crossing the open meadow, the loud vibration of a vehicle interrupted her tranquil day.
She froze in her tracks, spotting it at a distance as it lurched up the pitted access road.
Lissa lost sight of the SUV as it continued toward the fort.
While it was out of view, she crouched and sprinted toward the closest cover, evergreens near the side of the building.
The crisp, invigorating scent of juniper filled her nose as she plowed her way through.
She pressed herself into the thick bushes, scrambling through the scratchy outer fronds until she leaned against the bricks with thick foliage surrounding her.
She fought to regulate her breathing, though her heart pounded like she’d run miles instead of a couple of hundred yards. There was no way anyone would see her here. She’d be safe for now, though she might have to wait until dark to creep away undetected.
The vehicle’s engine grew louder before stopping nearby.
She pushed herself harder against the cold bricks at her back, wishing she could disappear.
She sidled along the edge of the house until she was as close to the main entrance on the porch as she dared.
Once in position, she halted. She didn’t dare move closer or peek through the branches.
Instead, she listened intently for information about the new arrivals.
She didn’t have long to wait.
Vehicle doors opened and then slammed. At least three, maybe four distinct sounds, which meant a carful.
Footsteps crunched through the gravel. Some were lighter and quick, others heavier and more measured.
All thumped up the stairs and passed near her hidden location.
From above came the clink of the key and the pop of the lock before the metallic scrape as someone opened the hasp of the padlock.
“My love, would you care to do the honors?” said a deep raspy voice.
“I want to,” said a child’s piping voice accompanied by the tap dance of feet on the porch. “Me. Me. Me. I want to. Let me.”
Lissa frowned. She hadn’t expected children. Maybe it wasn’t the Slains, after all.
“Sorry, son. I’m letting your mother enter our new home first,” said the same gravelly voice. “She’s waited a long time to have her own home again.”
“It’s okay,” said a woman’s calm voice. “Why don’t you and Daisy go together? Daisy, take your brother’s hand and stay with him. You two explore the house and let us know what you think.” She hesitated. “You can even go upstairs and choose your bedrooms.”
“Yay. My own room,” the little boy said. “I call the biggest one.”