Chapter 1 #2
Charlotte knows Gabi has put her in a metaphorical time-out corner, but at least she feels a little calmer when she returns after a while.
She silently slips into a booth in the back of the venue, closes her eyes with a sigh, slumps down, and drops her head against the backrest. The increasingly loud music isn’t doing much for her ability to be friendly and social.
Just 30 more minutes, she promises herself, and then she’s allowed to go home.
With her eyes still closed, she feels a slight dip in the cushion.
Cracking one eye open, she lets out an annoyed huff at the sight of Riley.
“Oh please, not you. You lost the right to talk to me today,” she murmurs softly, but loud enough for Riley to hear.
“You sure? I came to make it up to you, sweetheart,” Riley says, putting two intact wine glasses down on the table.
“Don’t call me— oh.” Charlotte eyes up the generously poured peace offering in front of her, and shuffles in her seat so she sits upright. “Well. Fine. You may stay.”
She picks up her glass just as Riley picks up hers and puts it to her lips right away, ignoring Riley’s invitation to clink their glasses together.
“It’s good to know you can be bribed,” Riley hums softly before sipping her own drink.
“It’s not bribing if you give me something and I give you nothing in return.”
“And yet, here you are, having a conversation with me, while a moment ago I wasn’t allowed to talk to you,” Riley says, with a smirk on her face.
“Yeah, momentary lapse of judgment. I’m revoking that right as you can’t seem to stop being annoying,” Charlotte shoots back, hoping that is going to be it.
Charlotte can’t truthfully say she hates the ego boost she gains from Riley’s flattery, from being clearly found attractive, but Riley isn’t anything if not relentless, arrogant, and above all, a woman.
Charlotte, being Gabi’s best friend, is supportive of the queer community in all the ways, it just isn’t for her.
Sure, she’d kissed plenty of her female classmates back in the day, but it’s nothing she’d want to do again.
So with nothing to win or lose, Charlotte doesn’t really mind keeping up their playful banter.
Some might even call it flirting, but she’d been very clear about being straight, which did seem to throw Riley off a little at the time.
However both women had soon realized their banter keeps them on their toes. It’s innocent and it’s fun.
Charlotte catches herself staring at Riley’s face, whose eyes are sparkling at the challenge. Riley raises her eyebrows, looks away, and mimes locking up her lips.
She tears her eyes away from Riley’s mouth, only to land on the three opened buttons of her shirt. Realizing there had only been one unbuttoned earlier, she can’t stop herself from saying: “Wow. You sure ammo’d up.”
Shaking her head, she takes another sip. Riley locks eyes with her again.
“Glad you noticed,” she says, straightening her shoulders. She leans one elbow on the table, chin in hand. “What can I say, I know what I want. Is it working?”
Charlotte snorts. “Ha! No. Still not on Team Boobs.”
It’s Riley’s time to shake her head. “Yeah… you’re actually insane for that.”
“Who’s insane?” Gabi appears in front of the booth, followed by Lou.
“I am, of course,” Charlotte takes a dramatic bow. “For not showing any interest in female genitalia.”
“Well, you’re not making it sound very sexy,” Riley mumbles. Lou takes the two women in before clocking what is going on.
“Down, boy,” she says to Riley, making an I’m watching you-gesture with two fingers. “Charlotte’s not on our team.” A beat. “But I’m glad the two of you are getting along.”
“Oh, yeah, basically besties,” Charlotte drawls, a fake smile on her face.
“When the two of you are done being children, I think it’s time for the speeches,” Gabi says. The color promptly drains from Charlotte’s face. The goddamn fucking speeches.
“We’ll do an opener,” Gabi explains, as she and her fiancée share a mysterious look. “And then we’ll call you on stage. Who wants to go first?”
Charlotte feigns a sudden fascination in the edge of the table cloth. She can feel Riley’s eyes on her. “You’re giving a speech too?” Riley muses, and Charlotte wonders if it would be too dramatic of an exit to pull the fire alarm and jump through the nearest window.
“Actually…” Charlotte sighs. “I would’ve loved to, Gabi, and you know it. But I can’t possibly make a speech with wine stains all over my shoes.”
And besides, she all but chugged that last glass of wine, so public speaking is not at the top of the list of smart things to do right now.
“You’re just being a bitch, it’s a red wine stain on black shoes,” Gabi says. “For that, you should go first. Barefoot if you must.” And before Charlotte can protest, Gabi and Lou wander off toward the stage.
Charlotte looks at Riley, ready to berate her for not stepping in to help, but Riley is hiding a knowing grin behind her glass.
“I can’t wait to see this.”
As soon as Gabi and Lou climb the small stage, the music quietens and one of the venue’s techs hands Gabi a microphone. The soft murmuring of the guests dies down when she begins to talk.
“Welcome everybody! Dear friends, family, acquaintances… My lovely fiancée and I are honored to have you all here, celebrating our engagement.”
The guests applaud as Gabi gives Lou a peck on the lips, pulling her in by the waist. A few of the guests start cheering, among them Riley—which causes Charlotte to dramatically cover the ear that is closest to her.
Riley pouts, then whistles on her fingers, and Charlotte gets distracted by a very vivid fantasy about squeezing the other woman’s windpipe until her eyes pop out.
On stage, Lou takes over the mic.
“We hope you’re all enjoying the food and music, but we’d like to interrupt for just a moment. Charlotte and Riley, would you please join us up here?”
Charlotte prays for an interruption—anything will do—but nothing happens. The two women exchange a look, and Charlotte senses Riley isn’t particularly happy about being asked on stage either. Good.
They quickly scramble out of the booth, taking their wine glasses with them.
The guests politely applaud once more while they walk to the front.
Once they reach the stage, Riley takes her place on Lou’s side, and Charlotte goes to stand next to Gabi, where she nervously picks some non-existent lint off her slacks.
Lou holds the mic in between herself and Gabi, so the both of them can speak.
“So Charlotte, Riley… as you know, we asked you to prepare a few words for tonight,” Lou says, looking from one to the other. Riley nervously shuffles her feet as Charlotte squints into the stage lights. She hasn’t forgotten, she just prefers… improvising.
“Now, that wasn’t just to torture you,” Gabi smirks. “It’s also to prepare you for the big day! Special announcement, drumroll please… Charlotte; I’d like you to be my maid of honor.”
Gabi looks at her as if she has just promised her a million dollars, clearly expecting some kind of response.
But Charlotte’s breath hitches and she stays awkwardly silent, so Lou quickly adds: “Riley, I’d love for you to be my best man!
Or... woman. Person. Maid of honor. Pick one. Or all of the above.”
The guests laugh and start cheering as Charlotte and Riley find each other’s gaze. Charlotte squints, ‘did you know about this?’, but Riley seems just as surprised.
The engaged couple reels their respective friend in by wrapping an arm around their shoulder, pulling them closer.
“This obviously means you have your work cut out for the both of you,” Gabi announces into the mic.
“I hate you,” Charlotte says through a big fake smile.
“Lou and I are convinced you’ll get along just fine and we’re putting all of our faith in you.”
“Does that mean we don’t actually have to do our speeches?” Charlotte whispers, failing miserably to hide the hopeful tone in her voice.
“Of course you still have to do your speeches!” Gabi repeats loudly, much to Charlotte’s disdain. “Who’s first?”
Charlotte looks over at Riley, who is sucking her cheek in and clearly trying to evade any eye contact. After a few excruciating seconds of silence, Charlotte grabs the mic, only to avoid further humiliation.
“I’ll take one for the team,” she snaps at Riley, taking center stage while the other women shuffle to the back.
Charlotte clears her throat and shields her eyes from the harsh lighting, squinting again to look out across the whole room. Contemplating whether she’ll stick the microphone up the ass of the first person who looks at her funny, the alcohol in her system spurs her on to talk.
“Well,” she accidentally yells, voice cracking, clearing her throat once more. “Well. Hello.” She takes a breath and puts her hand on her hip. “Hi.”
“Great start!” she hears someone behind her whisper—must be Riley. The hairs on the back of Charlotte’s neck stand up and she makes a mental note to make her windpipe fantasies come true at the first available opportunity.
“So. Gabrielle and Lou. Lou and… Gabrielle. That’s… these two women over here,” she stutters. “The happy couple.”
The silence in the room is deafening. She turns around to the other women, and wordlessly asks if this was good enough to pass as a speech. She is met with all of them giving her a thumbs up as to say ‘keep going!’.
Charlotte feels something bubbling inside her chest. This isn’t how she's is gonna go; public speaking is not going to be the great Charlotte Norwich’s demise. And if it is, she sure as hell will take the others with her.
“Alright, I assume everybody here knows that Gabi and I have been friends for a million years now. But how about I tell everybody how I met her lovely fiancée Lou over here?”
“Charlotte, no,” a voice warns behind her, that she chooses to ignore.
“Gabrielle and I used to be roommates, before these two became inseparable,” she continues. Her newfound vigor causes her to pace the stage.
"We had a few house rules, most of them initiated by Gabi of course.
But the one she was most adamant about, was ‘absolutely no boys, Charlie',” she says, mimicking Gabi’s low voice.
“And I, the amazing friend that I am, never asked her if that same rule applied to her. Because I trusted that she wouldn’t. Our holy virgin mother Mary over here."
She gracefully points at Gabi, who turns an interesting shade of red.
“And I have to admit, even I make mistakes sometimes. Like the one time I’d just been out on a date, a really nice date, he brought me home and—well, we made out in the hallway, I suppose.
My bad, fair enough. But when the cool, calm, and collected Gabrielle caught us there, she exploded like an atomic bomb.
Gave the both of us a total earful, scared him away, naturally, and I was on the receiving end of a very long monologue about friendship, trust, and boundaries. Which would be fair, if…”
The couple behind her holds their breath in anticipation. A high whine escapes from Lou’s throat.
“If not for the fact that only a few days later, I come home from work early, and what view am I being blessed with?
Oh you guessed it, people! A full blast, uncensored pornographic scene, performed by your leading ladies Lou and Gabi, in the kitchen nonetheless.
What an incredible day to have eyes. And the worst part: on the counter, in its full glory, is this big, fat, eight inch silicone—"
“Okay that’s enough!” Gabi shrieks, trying to grab the mic from Charlotte’s hands, who now surprisingly enough doesn’t want to give it up. Guests start murmuring again, and Charlotte can just make out Hannah’s silhouette walking out with the twins. Nice.
“But because I’m such a forgiving person, you have my full blessing!” Charlotte all but yells in the microphone that she and Gabi are now fighting over. “To the happy horny couple!” She raises her glass and finally gives up her iron grip, turns around with flair and crosses paths with Riley.
“Your turn. Eat shit,” she whispers when she accidentally bumps into her shoulder.
“Such sportsmanship,” Riley murmurs from the corner of her mouth.
Charlotte takes Riley’s place in the back and crosses her arms with a lazy smile—she has done pretty well, she thinks.
She highly doubts Riley will display any skill or grace, talking to a room full of people like this.
Oh, this is going to be good. Licking her lips, she watches as Riley takes the spotlight.
Mere minutes later, Charlotte learns about the consequences of making unsubstantiated assumptions.
Nothing could have prepared her for the mere elegance, the striking confidence that radiates from Riley when she talks.
Charlotte finds herself completely thunderstruck at Riley’s clearly well-prepared and loving speech for the couple.
Clenching her teeth so as not to let her mouth hang open, she follows her every move—from the casual pacing, her laid back posture, to the eloquently chosen words.
It is the most stupid and impressive thing Charlotte has ever witnessed, and she can only see her from the back.
“…and I mean it with my entire heart when I say: I’m truly honored to be your maid of honor slash best man, Lou.
I’ll wear a bow tie and everything,” Riley chuckles, as she playfully tugs the collar of her blazer.
Someone in the back of the room wolf whistles, which makes Riley point at them and treat them to a quick wink.
Charlotte feels the heat rise to her cheeks.
“Finally, I’d like to add…” Riley continues, holding her hand up to excuse herself. She turns around to jog toward Charlotte, who breaks from her trance when her hand is grabbed and she gets pulled to the front of the stage again. Here we go, she thinks.
“…that both Charlotte and I couldn’t possibly think of anyone we’d rather prepare the wedding with, than each other. This—” she gestures between the both of them, “...is pure wedding material.”
Charlotte can feel Riley smirk at her own double entendre. The music swells; a sign they should be wrapping up.
Putting on her fake smile again, Charlotte snarls: “I’m going to kill you.”
“Oh please, and do it slowly,” Riley says hoarsely, careful not to let those words reach the microphone.
If the alcohol percentage in Charlotte’s blood had only been a tad higher she would’ve hurled her off the stage.