Chapter 8 #2
If the answer is yes, it’s like a door in her mind opens and she can enter a completely new and different world.
A world she isn’t equipped to settle in, but it’s definitely worth having a look around.
Riley’s right: it doesn’t hurt to look, or to think, or to fantasize.
She holds her own reigns: she chooses who to involve, at what pace she moves, and if she moves at all.
For now, it’s just her little secret. And Riley’s, kind of.
While a few months ago she would’ve suffocated from laughter if someone had told her that Riley would eventually be the one, the only one she would confide in at some point—after spending so much time talking to her now, it’s impossible to deny how kind and supportive she has been.
If someone were to torture it out of her, she’d eventually even admit to calling her a friend.
Even though they’d never really focused on Riley’s feelings in this process, Charlotte knows how much of a struggle it must have been for her to put her own feelings aside to be the best guide, mentor, teacher, friend—whatever she’d want to call it—a beginner lesbian could ever have.
Unfortunately, it is exactly that deep respect she has for Riley that makes her so nervous and insecure around her. Because yes: Riley had always flirted with her, and she knows Riley had been into her, at least at some point. But what happened when she stepped up to be there for Charlotte?
They’re still flirting, sure. They still revel in destroying each other verbally, sure. And it’s even more fun now than it used to be, sure.
Ah. Fun.
But whether or not Riley still has feelings for her, she doesn't know. It’s not something she dares to ask either. She also doesn’t know if it’s relevant, or ethical even, at this point?
What she does know: Riley’s own advice works in relation to her as well. Charlotte can check Riley out and explore what her presence does to her all she wants. As long as it’s still in her head, nobody has to know. Not even Riley.
When Charlotte, Gabi, and Lou are reminiscing about their college years over a few Manhattans and Riley eventually joins their outside table in a bright red, flowy sundress, Charlotte doesn’t have to share the sparks in her stomach with anyone. She’s never seen Riley like this before.
“Excuse me, is that a dress?” Lou coincidentally voices Charlotte’s thoughts.
“You’re excused,” Riley simply says, going around the table to give all three women a peck on the cheek before taking the fourth seat.
With a jolt, Charlotte realizes that three-months-ago-Charlotte would definitely have very strong opinions about that.
“Well, between this behavior and the outfit, Europe sure has rubbed off on you,” she huffs, dramatically wiping her cheek with her hand.
Riley glares at her. “Did you want an upgrade to a lick? Because I will.”
Charlotte decidedly grips the armrests of her chair, stands up and scoots a foot in the opposite direction from Riley, with the chair stuck to the back of her thighs.
Gabi lifts her glass. “To Lou, me, and our eternal children!”
The other women laugh as they clink their glasses together.
The first time it happens, Charlotte brushes it off as an accident: she and Riley are bent over the menu together, and as Riley flips the page, her hand briefly grazes Charlotte’s arm. She jerks it away to hide the goosebumps that appear.
The second time it happens, she gets a little bit more suspicious. It’s when they’re all a couple of bites into their meal, and Riley folds open a napkin.
“I’m not gonna ruin this dress on the first night,” she says as she drapes it over her lap. On their way back up to the table, two fingers brush against Charlotte’s bare thigh. When she starts blushing, she’s relieved to be able to blame the spicy food.
The third time is definitely not an accident. After finishing her meal, Riley’s gaze shifts to a point on the horizon behind Lou and Gabi.
“Oh wow, look you guys,” she says excitedly. “From this angle, if you look right between those trees, you can just see the sunset! It’s gorgeous.”
Their friends turn around, finding the exact right spot to be able to peer between the numerous large trunks, making appreciative noises once they see it.
Charlotte leans in too, angling and adjusting her head to get Riley’s point of view.
When she feels Riley gingerly yet very much deliberately tickling the small of her back, she realizes she’s fallen for one of her sly tricks. Smooth motherfucker.
At first she’s not sure whether she wants to kiss or kill Riley, but she settles on kill when the fingers on her back trail sideways to where she’s extremely ticklish, and she really shouldn’t have done that because Charlotte yelps like a damn chihuahua.
Riley quickly retracts her arm, Gabi and Lou spin back around, and Charlotte—somehow at maximum brainpower—starts swatting the air around her head.
“Bugs, bugs!” she yells with a disgusted look on her face.
“Yeah, it’s bad here right?” Lou supplies helpfully, unbeknownst to herself. “We’ve already killed a few wasps on our balcony.”
“Oh, yes, it’s really annoying,” Charlotte confirms, aggressively taking the last bite of her meal.
For a few seconds while she chews, nothing happens. Then, out of absolutely nowhere, after carefully placing down her fork and spoon, Charlotte hits Riley square in the upper arm with her flat palm and a whack that makes two seagulls by their table fly up and away.
Riley’s yowl sounds like her soul is leaving her body. It gets stuck somewhere in her throat and dies down as a sharp whimper.
Gabi and Lou are both stuck mid-motion, a look of complete horror on their faces.
“Mosquito,” Charlotte shrugs, and dabs the corner of her mouth with a napkin.
After their meal, they all stay and chat for another hour until it’s time to turn in.
The four of them walk back to the elevators and Lou presses the button.
As the doors open and Charlotte wants to follow Lou and Gabi in, she suddenly gets yanked away with a force she’s sure could have given her a whiplash.
She’s about to call Riley every name under the sun while the doors slide closed behind her, but Riley shushes her.
“Do you really want to deprive them of the joy of being in an elevator together in this stage of their relationship?” she asks with an accusing flip of her hand, which she then extends to press the button for a different elevator.
Charlotte’s face contorts. “Ew.”
“Exactly.”
“You’re so considerate for wanting them to share a tight space,” Charlotte drawls, crossing her arms.
“I know, right?”
“Which was an utterly selfless act from the goodness of your heart.”
“You know me.”
“So you wouldn’t mind if I took the stairs up?” Charlotte asks innocently, turning away.
At that exact moment, the doors of the second elevator slide open.
“Oh, but you’re not going to,” Riley says, gripping Charlotte by the waist and pulling her back to change her trajectory, sending her right into the elevator.
Charlotte huffs. “What floor are you?”
“Fifth.”
“Oh, me too.” She presses the 5 and disdainfully whips her head around to Riley.
“So, Riley. I have a question for you. Do you think you can try and behave for like, the duration of a meal while we’re dining with Gabi and Lou?”
“I don’t think you want me to,” Riley says, following Charlotte in. “Just imagine what happens when I suddenly stop annoying the living hell out of you in front of them. That would surely raise some questions, don’t you think?”
As the doors close, Charlotte opens her mouth but no words come out, because she doesn’t like it when Riley’s right.
“So, Charlotte. I have a question for you,” Riley mimics her earlier antics, changing the subject while leaning back against the wall.
“Ask.”
“Do you think we’re gonna… beat around the bush for two weeks and maybe kiss on the night of the wedding? Or do you think we can put our abnormally large egos to the side for a second and just… do it right now?”
Charlotte takes exactly one second to consider those words. Any reservations she has fly out the window as she looks at the woman in front of her who radiates confidence, calmness and… is this what sexy looks like? Because… this is really fucking sexy, isn’t it?
She’ll be rational tomorrow. She's thought about this for weeks. And right now, it’s really the one and only thing she wants. She steps in, places both hands against the wall on either side of Riley’s head, and looks at her with their faces mere inches apart.
With her body being this close to Riley’s, she can feel her pulse quicken and her chest heave, almost like Riley doesn’t fully expect her to bite.
Riley’s hands slowly slide around her waist and she slumps even further back against the wall. She sucks her bottom lip in, looks up at Charlotte, and lets her lip plop back, slowly curving into a smirk.
“Shit, you look really hot like this,” Riley sighs hoarsely.
“Like what?” Charlotte challenges, her breath hot on her face.
“Like you really want to kiss me.”
Charlotte is done for. She crashes their lips together, moving her hands to cup Riley’s jaw, only to slide her fingers past her neck and up into her hair.
Riley lets out a stifled moan and her hands move down to Charlotte’s ass. She squeezes gently, but when Charlotte responds by bucking her hips forward, Riley smiles into the kiss and pulls her ass in more forcefully.
It’s hot and heavy, all teeth and tongue, while both of them get lost in their desperate and needy sounds.
Charlotte pulls back to gasp for air, but Riley doesn’t let her go and keeps pulling her in for more. The sound of Riley’s chuckle against her lips drives her wild. It makes her so much more aware of what she wants and needs.
She catches herself off guard when her core starts aching, an urgent throb between her legs, but she really can’t give two shits right now as one of Riley’s hands moves to her thigh, squeezing her there before gently guiding her to widen her stance.