Chapter 15 #3
“When I knew I was falling for you—for a woman who wasn’t out yet,” she emphasizes, “I knew the only way to get close to you was by talking to you, but mostly by letting you go. I couldn’t risk you running for the hills if you ever felt cornered, marrying the first lesbian you came across with bigger biceps than me.
That’s why I wanted you to get out there.
I wanted you to choose me as your best option, not as your only option. ”
Riley’s words seem to float in her direction like small tendrils of some invisible substance she’s defenseless against, seeping into her skin wherever they land on her, making their way through everything that she is, settling down in her soul.
Riley’s thoughtful nature has always been Charlotte’s soft spot, especially when she can be such a joker too.
Even now it seems everything has a reason.
And Riley had been vulnerable through it all, even if she radiated confidence.
After a few moments of silence, when Riley assumes her words have gotten through to Charlotte, she continues: “For you, it was about finding who you were, what you liked. For me, the stakes were always way, way higher. It was about… love. And I was never going to stop pursuing you, unless you specifically asked me to.” Her last words turn into an almost-whisper.
“You used a lot of hurtful words, Charlotte, but never those. You never asked me to stop. That was enough for me to hold on to. And here we are.”
Charlotte feels tears prickling behind her eyes, and she swallows them away.
“So…” she tries, her voice cracking. “So what does that mean? Have you f-fallen for me?”
Riley’s jaw drops, her hand stilling in her hair as she swipes it back again. “Oh my god, Charlotte, I could not be any clearer.” She nods at Shaky. “I even kidnapped your fucking ferret!”
Charlotte averts her gaze, but her lips curl up. “That sounds an awful lot like a confession, Ri.”
“Have you read the note?” Riley presses on.
Oh. The note.
Charlotte carefully retrieves the piece of paper from the pouch in her lap and unfolds it.
Let’s keep falling together
Underneath it is a small but detailed sketch of their penis statues, the ones they had sculpted months ago and had dried out leaning against each other.
It’s all just too much. Charlotte’s brain blinks out and so her reflexes come to the rescue. “How’d you get him to write this?” she quips, pointing at the ferret.
Riley looks up at her with a murderous gaze, unfolding her leg to softly kick her in the shin.
“Charlotte,” she says, straightening her spine. “This is my best English: I would very much like to start dating you.”
Once again, Riley’s directness completely obliterates any attempt at keeping her at a distance; the only option she gives Charlotte is to be as vulnerable as she has been herself.
Even though Charlotte doesn’t have an immediate answer for her, she does meet her there by opening up. “That means we’d have to go back to square one, again,” she softly voices her concern. “You already promised me once to go back to the beginning, to start from scratch, and it led us here.”
Riley smiles at her in a genuine, open expression. “I’m happy to restart this as many times as it takes. Because in case it still hasn’t gotten through your thick skull: I’m way too fucked up about you.”
“But why?” Charlotte croaks. “How… why, when did you know?”
“When I watched you shamelessly tell an entire room full of people about walking in on your friends fucking in your kitchen. I knew I had to make you mine. No matter how long it would take,” she admits, a shy grimace on her face.
Charlotte feels herself growing even weaker.
Her mind goes back to that moment: it had been such an effort to get through the night, back when she’d still mistaken her attraction to Riley for annoyance, back when they’d both still go out of their way to get on each other’s nerves.
That had been the moment she’d made Riley fall for her… ? And she hadn’t even been trying?
“What about you?” Riley asks.
“Me? Who says I’ve fallen for—”
“Oh shut the fuck up, Charlie.”
Charlotte presses her lips together, but the tension in her body has built up so much that it leaves her mouth in an unfiltered giggle.
“I had my suspicions when you got under my skin so badly during our first meeting over coffee,” she snickers, trying to mold her face back into neutral. “But if you’re asking me when I… knew, knew?”
Riley nods.
“Just now,” Charlotte whispers, almost inaudibly, keeping her eyes locked onto Riley’s. “When you said the words ‘make you mine’.” I think… I think I want that, Riley.”
At first, Riley doesn’t respond at all, making Charlotte squirm. But then she inhales sharply, holds it, and the sparkle Charlotte has missed so much returns to her eyes. When she watches Riley being at loss for words, she inwardly pats herself on the back.
Her confidence rapidly turns into embarrassment when her own words repeat themselves in her head. “God, I sound like a loser,” she sighs, dropping her head into her hands. It makes Riley laugh.
“Way to kill the moment, but I’m not sure what I expected,” she says amusedly. “Though I feel like I have to tell you: the way you went through the entire range of a lesbian relationship in two weeks, you’d be an enigma in the queer community. You know that, right? Absolute top dog.”
Charlotte pinches an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I’m so glad you asked.”
Riley lifts her hand to count on her fingers, her smile brighter than the sun.
“Let’s start with the general concepts you got down: the denial, the libido, and the dramatics. God, the dramatics.”
Charlotte wants to roll her eyes, but she’ll give this moment to Riley.
“Then, more specifically: you went from kissing to fucking to not knowing how to stop pretty fast, you keep making me work for it, you blew my mind emerging as both a service top and a power bottom—”
“What’s a—”
“We’ll circle back to that one,” Riley says with a wink. “Next up, you’ve already gone on holiday with your date, which wasn't technically up to us, but I’m still counting it.”
Charlotte raises an eyebrow, silently asking if she’s done.
“And lastly, the dramatics.”
“You already said that one.”
“Did I? I guess yours deserve another honorable mention.” Riley snorts. “I could keep yelling in your face how deeply I’ve fallen for you, and you’d still wonder if I can stand being in the same room as you.”
For a moment, Charlotte narrows her eyes at her. Then, she relaxes, and her features transform into a lazy grin.
“You could yell what?”
“How deeply I’ve fallen. For you.”
“Hm.” Charlotte rubs her own cheek absentmindedly. “I wish you could just tell me how you feel, because I really have no way of knowing.”
Riley finally catches on, and crouches over to sit beside Charlotte. She places a careful finger under her chin, forcing her to make eye contact.
As part of the act, Charlotte sighs. “If only I knew how you really—”
“You drive me crazy, Charlie.” Riley cups her face in her hands. “I’m so fucking attracted to you, I feel it in the way my body responds to you, the way I keep wanting to know more about you—”
Charlotte smirks. “I hear you,” she says. “But are you actually into me?”
When Riley’s lips crash into hers, it feels like nothing could have stopped her from doing it. It's different this time: it’s beyond want and need. There’s a desperate urgency in the way they drink each other in.
“I think about you… all the time,” Riley sighs against her lips, pressing soft kisses on her mouth again and again.
“I keep imagining—” another kiss, “what it would be like if you were mine. I want to—” and another, “know the things you like. I want to show you the things I like. And I’m scared—” another, slightly longer kiss, “of how much I feel, sometimes, but if I have to tell you this every single day if it means I get to build something with you… I will do it.”
One hand tangles itself into Charlotte’s hair, the other one slides down to her waist, careful not to touch Shaky, who is still wrapped around one of Charlotte’s arms.
When Charlotte catches Riley’s eyes again, she feels it: the intensity with which Riley is trying to express herself.
She pulls her in to drive their lips together, as if she’s trying to convey the rest of the message where words aren’t enough.
Charlotte feels herself leaning in, searching for as much physical contact as she can get, letting her fingers roam over every piece of exposed skin.
Her heart rate picks up as their kiss starts deepening, but Riley pulls back.
“Are you going to let me continue pouring my entire soul out here on this dirty ass floor and not give me anything like ‘hey, Riley, you’re kind of okay too,’ or—”
“Riley,” Charlotte whines, initiating the next kiss, letting it linger for a moment. Then she decides to be completely honest.
“You told me this has always been about love for you, and about coming out for me. But that hasn’t been true for a long time.”
She brings their foreheads together, ultimately dipping her head down and burying her nose in the crook of Riley’s neck. “It’s like what you said months ago: this has never been about me being a lesbian. This has always been about me falling for you.”
She feels rather than hears Riley’s breath hitch.
“And, well, you just happen to have a vagina.”
“Oh, do I?” Riley drawls, playfully squeezing Charlotte’s side, earning her a yelp and a slap on her wrist.
“I believe so, yes,” Charlotte says, sneaking her fingers under Riley’s waistcoat, lightly scratching the skin near her ribs. She feels Riley shudder in anticipation, and is overwhelmed by an intense amount of want—an intense need to express herself, to lock her words in.
“But I don’t think I deserve the title of lesbian enigma quite yet,” she husks in Riley’s ear, nipping at the lobe.
“Oh... And w-why is that?” Riley asks, but Charlotte knows she knows the answer.
Charlotte presses her face against Riley’s neck, still tracing patterns with her nails while trying to find the right words.
She wants this to be good, she wants this to be sexy, so she doesn’t pick any words at all.
Instead, she leans back and takes Riley’s hand from her waist and brings it to her mouth.
Without breaking eye contact, she folds the thumb and smallest fingers into the palm, and takes the other two into her mouth.
Riley’s pupils widen as Charlotte softly sucks on them.
Feeling emboldened by how much this affects Riley, she presses her tongue against the crevice between the two digits, giving her small suggestive kitten licks.
Riley’s groan is a delicious sound low in her throat. “How long do we have?” she rasps.
Charlotte releases her fingers with a pop and looks at her watch.
“If we walk back to the hotel now, we’ll have about an hour until the reception…”
“But I want you here, now,” Riley protests. Charlotte grins, trying to ignore the way her pussy responds to those words.
She points down at the ferret. “You brought him,” she says. “So we’ll have to bring him back first.”
Riley groans again, a frustrated one this time. “Both my wingman and my cock blocker.”
Charlotte shakes her head disapprovingly. “Are you going to keep complaining? Or are you going to let me finally taste you?”