Chapter Eight
I try to convince myself that I’m living in reality. That waking up to the view of him next to me is not part of a dream.
Recently, Nathan has been spending more time with me—and Juan Valdez—in my cozy apartment. Even with the cold air outside, we nestle in together with thick blankets draped over the balcony, as we dive into poetry reading sessions.
Each reading feels like an adventure—sometimes joyous and romantic, other times gloomy or funny. I don’t own a television, but my collection of poetry books fills the shelves, creating my own sanctuary of words.
Nathan often asks me to read aloud, his gaze fixed on me with an intimacy that deepens the experience. I find immense pleasure in his attention. It makes the poems come alive not only in the text, but between us.
Yesterday morning, he dropped the news that he has a work trip to London he simply can’t postpone. His flight? Tonight! Great .
While he’s been pushing for me to join him, deep down he knows that stepping away for a week isn’t realistic for me. It might seem like a brief getaway for most people, but trust me, when you’re running a business, a week translates into possible chaos and money loss.
I never imagined he would share so much of himself with me. It’s clear that I don’t know everything about his life, but in this moment, seeing him relaxed and comfortable, with his messy hair instead of a polished look, it creates a genuine warmth between us, as if I’m witnessing a side of him that’s rarely seen. I cherish this moment deeply, absorbing every detail, before he has to go.
I remove the covers from me, pushing them to the end of the bed with my feet. I sit, letting my legs hang on the side of the bed, almost touching the wooden floor. But a tug on my wrist brings me back inside.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Nathan asks, holding me tight in an embrace.
“Out of bed.” I smile.
“Any particular reason?” He turns to face me and removes the hairs off my face, tucking them behind my ear with his fingers. His dark blond, messy hair gives him a whole different look that fits him rather well.
“Getting ready, getting breakfast, getting somewhere, maybe?” I say, and give him a soft kiss on the lips, but I can feel he's longing for more than that.
“Maybe…How about me getting down on you?” He grins playfully with that lustful look in his eyes. “Are you going to resist me?” he asks close to my face, trailing his hand up my leg.
“What do you think?” I whisper.
Nathan leans in closer, his mouth tracing a line from my jaw to my neck.
“I think you’re not going anywhere,” he says softly, his breath hot against my skin, sending a shiver down my spine. His hand continues its slow, deliberate journey up my thigh, and my heart races in response.
As his fingers arrive at that spot between my legs, his grin grows wider. Narrowing his eyes at me, he realizes I am wearing the lace knickers he enjoys so much.
"You were, as a matter of fact, anticipating this moment," he says with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. I can't help but return his gaze with a playful smile, knowing exactly what he's implying.
He places his fingers right where I expect him to, circling slowly, teasingly. I look at his face and he is loving it. Having me at the mercy of his fingers, doing what he wants with me. I arch my back, and he softly thrusts his fingers into me, my hips responding to his touch. His intimate approach mirrors his personality, leaving me curious about which version of him will come to the surface. It's a captivating dance of unpredictability that keeps me on my toes.
I see him pause, taking his hand near his face and discreetly breathing in my scent off his fingers.
“Oh love, I might be an addict for you. Are you aware of that?” he asks with a hint of dark in his eyes. “Your scent only draws me further in.”
He goes under the covers, tracing kisses his way down on me while his fingers torture me with teasing. I arch my back in response as he takes a taste of me, the wetness of his tongue almost getting me to beg for more of him, but enjoying every second of it. He goes incredibly slow, worshiping every centimetre of my sex with his hands over my breast, squeezing them firmly.
Following the rhythm of his tongue skilfully circling my clit, I roam my hands over his head and grab his hair. I press his face closer, getting his lips deeply against me while his tongue is buried inside my sex.
He stimulates every part of me only by the sheer look of him between my legs. I cast my gaze down at him, in between my heavy breathing and the sweet torture of his slow motions. I see him lifting his eyes to catch a glimpse of me, of my messy hair falling over my face and breasts. My left hand goes through his own messy hair, giving him that addictive, ruthless look. He smirks, and smoothly passes his tongue over my clit, locking eyes with me. I bite my bottom lip at the sight of him.
He stops, and in a swift movement, he pulls my legs in his direction, dragging my whole body near the edge of the bed. He crooks his finger toward him, telling me to come closer to him. I get on my knees on top of the bed, feeling them slightly shake. He looks at me lustfully, putting his hands between my legs, his fingertips barely touching me.
"Do you feel it?" he asks in a low voice. "How I’ve got you wrapped around my fingers?" He smirks.
"Tell me what you want, love." His voice sounds obscene. I bite my lip, locking eyes with him. I slide my hand near his body, taking his throbbing cock in my hand, curling my fingers around it. I stroke him slowly, longing to be on top of him, touching my skin with his.
"You," I say, “I want you.” I watch him close his eyes, savouring my touch around him. He gives me that look, and something shifts in him.
He pushes me onto the bed, and reaches over the dresser behind him, grabbing a condom from one of the drawers. He rips the wrapper open with his teeth, and slides it over his hard and thick shaft with both hands. He gives me one look and climbs on top of me, letting me see the dark blue of his eyes up close. His gaze is filled with hunger, an uncontrollable desire that makes me gasp.
His arm slides behind my back and grabs my waist firmly, rolling me with him, putting me on top. I look at him surprised by the sudden change, and he grins.
He holds my waist as he gets into a sitting position with me falling on his lap. My legs spread to each side of his body, and my hips make light movements against him. He looks at me with lust and I can see how a part of him is holding back. I lift my hips in the air shortly, feeling the tip of his cock caressing my entrance, but before filling me, he holds me, his hands grabbing my rear, keeping me in the air. I look at him with his lips partly open, his eyes foggy.
“Are you sure it is me you want?” he asks in a low breathed tone, his hands keeping me still in place.
I nod, and without warning, he pulls me down, penetrating me strongly all at once. I yelp, and his thrusts intensify. His hands grab me firmly, the strength of his grip deciding the pace my body moves.
He gets deep inside me, stretching me deliciously, my breasts moving in motion with his thrusts. I moan at the feeling, increasing when his wet tongue brushes over my nipples. I feel my orgasm building inside me, the wetness between my legs not denying the pleasure he is giving me. He feels it and groans, lifting me and pulling out of me.
I gasp and wrap my arms around him in a failed attempt to keep his proximity, but he rolls with me, my back resting against the fabric of the sheets. He kisses me deeply, his lips biting on my bottom lip. When his hands press on the mattress to each side of my head, he pulls himself back, standing right in front of me.
“Look at you, all desperate to wrap that sweet pussy of yours around my cock,” he says.
I breathe in, catching the air he's sucked out of me, and just look at him, nodding my head.
“Do you want me to make you come?” he asks.
I nod again, biting the side of my bottom lip.
“Do you want me to do it with my fingers?”
I shake my head, refusing.
“Do you want to sit on my face?”
I smile, and hesitate for a few seconds, but I refuse again.
“Ah,” he says with a charming smile. “You want me to get on top of you, is that it?”
I nod. And I watch as he plants his knees on the bed, almost on top of me.
“And you are longing to have your legs over my shoulders, aren’t you?”
I close my eyes and nod again without saying a word. He grabs the back of my knees and lifts my legs, placing them over his shoulders. His thick shaft brushes against my entrance and my hips move, increasing the feeling, making me gasp in anticipation.
I need it now!
“Shh,” he says, placing a finger over my lips softly.
“You’re beautiful.” He looks at me and I see how his expression softens, making him look rather sweet.
“Ah, I almost forgot,” he says.
His hand slowly slides from my lips, down my chin. Gently, he wraps his hand around my neck securely. His grip is delicate but firm, and he doesn’t let go. His hand remains clinging to my neck.
At this point, I’m a river.
A sea.
I’m the fucking ocean.
“Now, you’re perfect, love.” He pushes into me, his hand maintaining an intense grip as he thrusts in and out of me, his pace demanding.
My legs raised to his shoulders, I concentrate on the rhythm of his thrusts that hit a sweet spot inside me, making me moan over and over again.
With his free hand he presses my pelvis while his thumb strokes my clit with confidence.
Right now, Nathan could ask me for anything, anything , and I wouldn’t refuse.
I can’t hold back, I let my orgasm burst over me, I moan, cry and laugh all at the same time.
I try to push him away with my legs, the sensation is more than my body can handle, my sex throbbing in satisfaction at my climax, while I try to remember how to breathe, how to think, how to fucking live.
Nathaniel smiles when he sees me and lets go of my neck. In one fluid movement he turns my body, my abdomen pressing against the bed. He climbs on top of me, stuffing his cock back inside me without hesitation, heat still burning within me.
“I can’t quench my thirst for you, Olive. The longing to be with you, in you is stronger than anything I’ve ever felt before,” he says in my ear in the most deep breathed voice.
I don’t want to be away from him, I don’t want to be without him.
His body takes mine with an unspoken intensity, and he groans in pleasure, his orgasm takes over him, and I feel his body shuddering on top of me.
He places a sweet kiss on the back of my neck, his arms wrap around me, pulling me close to him. He remains inside me, but I don’t complain. I don’t want to break this moment.
“Love,” he whispers in my ear.
“Shh,” I say, and I hear him giggle.
“Would you do me the honour of coming in the shower with me?”
I stand up almost immediately and walk backwards towards the bathroom, giving him one of the dirtiest looks in my repertoire.
“Olivia James, you’re insatiable,” he says teasingly, getting out of bed following me.
After a shower session of steamy kisses, playful caressing, and a leg-shaking round two, I come out of the shower feeling so light I could levitate.
I walk-levitate toward the closet and choose an outfit for Sunday's brunch. Not at Tatiana’s, but at the hotel. Of course, Tatiana is coming because my Sundays belong to her, and I’m drawing Nathaniel in the existing picture of us. I know we will love it, and I’m already anticipating it.
The Botanic Hotel holds the biggest and most luxurious Sunday brunch in the city, including a wide selection of seafood, drinks, and live music. It's like your Friday night, but on Sunday noon. To access, you must make a reservation at least two weeks in advance. However, Nathan always has a table ready for him, even if he never goes.
I am putting my stockings on when he comes into the room, his pants on while drying his hair with a towel.
“This view of you…” he says while he watches me attach my stockings to my suspender belt.
No sir, this view of you.
“If only I could put you on a frame…” He gets close to me and presses a light kiss on my cheek.
I look in the mirror, admiring my almost finished look. For this occasion, I’m wearing a flowing, below-knee-length black dress, contrasting my beloved ivory, high-collar jacket with a fitted waist, creating a flattering hourglass silhouette.
I draw my lips, doing a heart shape on my upper lip with my favourite red lipstick. I apply a hint of brown eyeshadow over my eyebrows and mascara over my eyelashes to create a fuller illusion. Nathan comes behind, now fully dressed and fixing his cufflinks.
"Perfection. Can you remind me why aren't you coming with me to London?” He pauses, coming closer and facing me. “Think about it: busy streets, rain, cold wind slapping your face. Doesn't it sound tempting?" He grins, looking into my eyes with his hands holding my waist.
"You sell it so well, cold-slapping-face London," I say, trying to quote him. "I'd love to come, but I can't leave Tatiana alone with everything. I didn't prepare for it. But next time, even if you decide to go to the Caribbean Sea, I promise I'll come," I joke, even if I love everything about the gloomy weather London promises to have.
He nods.
"It’s tough going to the Caribbean. Would you make the effort to go there for me?” He shakes his head, and I can see how he’s holding back a laugh.
“Are we ready to go, love?" he asks.
I take my black hat with one hand and my purse with the other.
"I am now," I say, placing my hat over my head. He smiles at me.
"If you ever meet my aunt Claire, I’m sure she will love you," he says as we step out of the apartment.
"I know she does," I say with a conceited smile plastered on my face. How can I forget a woman with such style and vivid personality?
"Oh?" Nathan asks, following me downstairs. "Where did you meet her?"
"Adam introduced us," I say. "She was chic and full of life—she even complimented me as soon as she saw me.”
We arrive downstairs and Peter is already there.
"Hello, Mr. Martens, Miss James," he greets us. Nathan opens the door, and I thank him as I go inside, removing my hat and putting it over my lap. He closes the door behind me and joins me by the other side.
As soon as Peter begins driving, Nathan turns to me and takes my hand without saying anything. I look out the window, happy to enjoy these last few hours with him before his business trip.
"Olive," he says after a few minutes.
"Yes?" I turn my head toward him, letting him know he has my full attention.
"Do you see Adam often?" he asks.
" Your brother Adam?"
His eyes narrow at me.
"Of course, my brother Adam. Is there another Adam I should know about?" he inquires, his tone shifting.
I laugh, not knowing how to take his comment, but he doesn't even chuckle.
"Not really," I say after clearing my throat. “He comes to the shop on a daily basis, almost every morning, but only stays for about five to ten minutes." I pause, expecting him to say something, but he doesn't. "So—it’s always very brief, sadly,” I say.
"Sure, sadly ," he lets out, and I sense the sarcasm in the way his words come out. I open my mouth to change the subject— and the unexpected mood inside the car— but Peter stops, and I notice we've arrived.
The brunch is hosted in a beautifully decorated glass-covered space in the middle of the botanical sanctuary, where the view of the flowers and trees adds up to the magic.
Nathan stops me by the entrance.
"Olive," he says, regaining his sweet voice, "I need to go to the suite to get some things ready before leaving to the airport. You can go inside, find Tatiana, and I'll try to join you later. Ok?" The way he asks ok tries to make his command softer, like making me believe I can protest, when I can't. I nod and he kisses my cheek.
“Have fun, love." He leaves. There's something about him that leads me to believe he won't come down for brunch.
I go inside and I see Tatiana already sitting at a table for four. I smile and walk toward her.
" Liiiiv , this place is amazing," she squeals with excitement. "I feel like a princess—The waiters, oh my God, look at them! It's like they were imported from the beautiful men country." I laugh as low as possible, taking my seat in front of her.
"So—” I try to talk, but she cuts me off.
"Where is your sweet bejesus piece of man?" she asks. And I burst out laughing, feeling the eyes of a few people judging me.
"He went back to his suite to finish packing," I say. "He said he'll come back later, but knowing him—I'm not sure," I continue. "Plus, he got so strange on our way here."
"Strange? what do you mean?" she asks.
“He asked me about Adam coming to the shop, and our conversations?—"
"Adam his brother?" Tatiana cuts me off.
I roll my eyes at her.
"Of course, Adam his brother."
"Does Adam know about Nathan being all over your arse ?" she asks.
"No, he doesn't—well, I don’t think he does,” I respond, uncertainty dripping from my voice.
"I think Nathan doesn't want to tell Adam about what you have. Maybe he doesn't want to involve his family yet." Her words make sense.
"Yes, maybe you're right," I say considering that might be the truth.
"I'm almost certain that he only wanted to know if you had told Adam about him and you,” she says with confidence.
"Yes, I guess. But he could've asked." I shake my head.
Tatiana nods.
"Indeed, but there are many things that men can do, and yet they don't. I love them, but I don't understand them."
Tatiana, the wise one.
"May I offer you something to drink?" One of the handsome waiters asks as he approaches our table. Tatiana takes a look at him and tightens her lips into a thin line giving me a wild look, I'm already reading her thoughts.
I try not to laugh and order a bottle of water and two alcohol free Moscow Mules, plus appetisers. The waiter—who we’ve decided to call Mr. Sweden due to his Viking vibe, leaves with our order.
Tatiana plants a hand over the table, airing her face with the other.
“See? They must be imported!” She says.
The brunch was amazing, filled with good food, laughter, and the bright personality of Tatiana lighting my Sunday. Nathan didn’t come down, but I had prepared myself for it.
I walk next to Tatiana out of the garden and by the hotel’s main entrance, lacing my arm with hers as we go find her bike, her motorbike . Not a cute little scooter you would find in Italy, like a Vespa , no. The thing is bigger than me. Tatiana rides a Kawasaki Jedi, or Ninja, Star Wars—you get it, a big arse bike.
Both of us laugh and complain about how much we ate, but without regretting any single bite. Laughter has always made me clumsy, and that’s what makes it last. I drop my bag, and when I bend to pick it up, one of the many runners in the garden bumps into me, making me fall. The sleeve of my ivory jacket is now beige-brown.
I try not to look at the runner because I’m sure my eyes could kill at this point. But he holds his hand out for me almost instantly.
“I’m so sorry, miss. Let me help—Olivia?” The voice pauses and I’m obligated to look up as soon as I recognize it.
“Adam? H-hi, hello! What are you doing here?” I ask, suddenly aware of everything. I stand up, looking around, knowing that if Nathan comes now, this might become a longer conversation.
“I run,” he says with a ragged edge to his voice. “And you girls?” he continues, acknowledging Tatiana’s presence next to me.
“Brunch!” Tatiana says.
“Walk!” I overlap her response, words come out of my mouth without consulting my brain. I notice the confusion in Adam’s face, and I hurry myself to give some unnecessary explanation.
“We had brunch and now we are taking a walk.”
“Right. Girls’ Sunday, I’m guessing.”
“Yes, yes!” I say enthusiastically, and Tatiana looks at me as if I’m possessed. I might be. I need to cut this short before he asks more questions.
“But we were already leaving. We’ll leave you to your running.” I say.
“Sure, sure. I’ll see you tomorrow!” he says, putting his headphones back in.
“Tomorrow?” I ask.
He chuckles.
“Yes, my same as always—Is there something wrong?” he asks, sounding worried.
Shit, right. Olivia, chill.
“Oh yes!!! Right,” I say, tapping my forehead with the palm of my hand. “No, nothing wrong. I’ll see you tomorrow!” I say, pushing Tatiana’s side to move in the opposite direction to him.
“Bye, Adam!” Tatiana waves.
Adam continues his jog far from us, and air comes back, flowing through my lungs.
“Wow,” Tatiana says.
“What?”
“Do you need me to take your blood pressure? Adrenaline kicked in right there.”
“Was it obvious?”
“If he didn’t feel it, I bet he saw that freaking vein in your neck—I thought it was going to pop out of your body and have a life of its own at any moment.”
“Ugh, I’m sweating, Tate.”
“Just have Nathaniel talk to him, or you talk to him.” She pauses. “Let’s focus on the bright side meanwhile.”
“Being?”
“You finally have an interesting life,” she says smiling, making me roll my eyes at her.
I hug her one last time and see her hop on her bike putting the helmet over her head, and leaves. I wave my goodbye as I walk back to the entrance of the hotel, her voice still ringing in my ears. I suppose my life is a tad interesting now. Not Netflix series interesting, but undoubtedly more than before.
When I lift my eyes forward, Nathaniel is standing in front of me, looking apologetic. He almost startles me.
"I'm sorry I missed the brunch," he says without touching me, keeping his respectful and elegant surface. I confirm that Tatiana is right. He might not be so comfortable with being public at this point. That doesn't bother me, and I can understand.
“Your loss,” I tease. “It was delicious.”
“Can’t wait to hear all about it.” He winks, his guard slipping for a moment. “Come with me upstairs. I’ll order room service—I could eat something.”
I agree, and we take the elevator upstairs. While he eats, I sip tea, recounting the details of brunch: the food, the music, the way the light streamed into the room. Everything but my conversation with Tatiana— or bumping with Adam in the garden, because I don’t want to create a fight or ruin his good humour over nonsense.
I leave to use the toilet and brush my teeth, but as soon as I start walking, my eyes dart to the closet door again . This time, it’s slightly open. I walk around the bed to have a clear look. There are no clothes sticking outside, maybe it’s a walk-in. Of course. I imagine everything neat and folded inside. Maybe he even has one of those glass display cabinets for his watches.
When I’m a metre away from the door, I hear steps behind me, and I freeze. I feel Nathaniel’s presence next to me, he sticks his arm out, pulling the door closed. He is calm.
“Are you ok?” he asks.
I nod .
Is he hiding something? I’m curious about what he needed to do in his suite during brunch, what was so important. But most importantly, what’s behind this door?
“Good. Let’s go downstairs, Peter is waiting.”
Time moves quickly, and it’s time he leaves for the airport. He insists on dropping me off first, not giving me any chance to oppose. During the short drive, he holds my hand, his touch is warm and steady, while he works on his iPad placed over his lap. I watch him work. He frowns when he’s focused, efficiently switching between reading and writing notes.
"I'm sorry, love,” he says after a while, putting the iPad away and turning to me.
"It's fine, really. It doesn't bother me." I ease his mind.
"It bothers me ," he says. “Unfortunately, I cannot postpone this.” I nod. "God, I wish you were coming with me." He sighs.
"I wish that, too. But next time, I promise."
"I know. I'll try to be back before the end of the week." He pauses. "I used to be away many days in a month, but now I don't want to go away anymore. Not without you." He makes me smile, I don't see my face, but I am sure I'm blushing to the sound of his words.
“I’ll miss you, too,” I say, gently placing my hand on his thigh, trying to ground him in this moment before he has to go. He smiles and places his hand over mine. I grant him one last glance before looking out the window.
“Love,” he calls me.
“Yes?” I respond, looking back at him. A shade of something that I cannot read covers his eyes.
“There’s something I want to show you once I’m back,” he says, looking into my eyes.
“What? Don’t you leave me with this growing curiosity, please.” My voice almost begging. I hate it when people do this.
“Oh no,” he says, faking horror, “did I say that aloud?”
I laugh.
“Come on!”
“I’m sorry,” he says with that familiar, mischievous grin of his. “But you’re going to have to wait for that.”
I frown, knowing that my curiosity will travel galaxies before he comes back.
Great. He’s a teaser.