Chapter 7
Chapter Seven
Poppy
As much as I wanted to hate Ivan for leaving me without saying goodbye… I knew it was better off this way. I’d cried a few tears as the rejection set in, but then showered and immediately hit the slopes. There was nothing in this world that could relax me quite like nature could.
So I stayed at the resort for weeks, hoping that the slopes, snow, and mountains would clear my head. But also… secretly, I hoped I caught sight of Ivan again.
It never happened. It was almost as if he hadn’t existed at all, almost as if I’d dreamed up the entire night.
The entire amazing night that felt like it changed me.
In a way, it had. I was a woman now in technical terms. Though I was very well versed with my body and the things I liked to do to myself, I’d never been with a man before.
I’d always wanted that connection, and I felt it with Ivan more than anyone else.
More than the silly school boys I dated for months on end, and way more than the long-term boyfriend I had, who told me we could wait until marriage, but he was really banging the pool boy.
Besides a few innocent kisses, I hadn’t experienced much.
But my mother…being the woman she is…made sure if we had desires, we didn’t find them through an unwrapped dick and end up with an unwanted pregnancy.
So on my 14th birthday, I was gifted a subscription box to everything sex.
In the physical sense, I popped my own cherry, but in the emotional and literal sense…
I’d never slept with anyone. I didn’t know if that made me a virgin or not, but it certainly saved me from being embarrassed when my first time came around.
He had no idea, besides a little discomfort from me. Not a single toy I’d experimented with had prepared me for what it would be like in real life. Not a single one of my toys was anywhere near the length or girth of Ivan, either.
I yanked my goggles off and took a deep breath of the mountain air. If I wanted to find him, I was sure I could. He was a local. It wouldn’t be too hard to figure out, but at the same time, I knew that if he wanted to see me again, he would have.
My chest ached. No one had ever truly listened to me like he had. Though I hadn’t learned much about him, it felt nice to have someone so engrossed with what I had to say that it didn’t matter how they contributed to the conversation.
Plus, I wasn’t stupid; I was sure he wasn’t sharing much because he had secrets. That was fine by me; everyone in my circles had secrets. It was either affairs, money, or drugs. I wasn’t so sure I wanted to break the facade of Ivan with his truths.
I adjusted my goggles back into place and pushed off down the slope, letting the sting of the wind numb me.
It was easier to lose myself in speed than to think about the man who’d left me tangled in hotel sheets.
But even as the mountain blurred beneath me, he lingered, and I hated myself for it. Why couldn’t I be more like my sister, Jade? Mother always wanted to know, and now I did too. Why couldn’t I just leave him in the past like everyone else did with their one-night stands?
By the time I carved to a stop at the base, my chest burned from more than the cold. Danielle and Amelia were waiting near the lodge doors, sipping cocoa with their perfect hair untouched by the wind and their designer snowsuits sparkling.
Danielle’s perfectly pert nose scrunched up. “I know this is somewhat redundant, but are you almost done? I’m ready to go home. There’s so much to do in the city, and we’ve been here for entirely too long.”
I pushed my goggles up on my head and stared at her. “No one is forcing you to be here.”
They both blinked at me as if I’d grown a second head.
“Honey,” Amelia started. “We couldn’t leave you. Are you kiddin’ me right now?”
“Have you two seen Jade or my mother or maybe even Willa?” Willa was my youngest sister. She hated the mountains and the cold. She was probably locked in her room somewhere.
Amelia let out a dramatic sigh. “Where has your head been since that broody man left your bed?”
My cheeks burned, and this time, it wasn’t from the wind. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You’ve been living in fairytale dreamland since that poor boy rocked your bed, but he’s gone now. It’s time to get back to reality, sweetie.” Amelia rubbed my shoulder gently as I frowned at her.
“I came here to get away from rich city life, and that’s what I’m doing.”
Danielle’s frown only deepened. “Seems to me like you’re nursing a broken heart. Stop pining after the man; there is much better back at home.”
I licked my dry lips. They knew better than to bring all of this up. “When does Mother want to leave?”
Trisha laughed as she walked up to us. “They left three days ago. Something about preparing the staff at the house in the Hamptons for the season.”
My eyes burned. Not from them leaving me, this wasn’t a new thing, but instead from the humiliation that I hadn’t seen this coming. “Sooo, why are you all still here?”
Amelia shook her head, her fake curls bouncing around her face. “Are you serious, Poppy? Why would we leave you? The last thing we want is for you to go chasing after that local and us never see you again.”
All the other girls nodded their heads in unison. They didn’t want me to stay here indefinitely. “Okay, so when’s the flight home?”
Trisha’s shoulders deflated slightly. “We thought you’d never ask! Tomorrow morning.”
My eyes skipped to the bar I’d sat at with Ivan, and another pang went through my chest. There was always next year to hope to see him again.