Chapter 20
With eight seasons under my belt at the ripe age of twenty-five, I’m considered a veteran. So, Coach Avery and Briar made the decision for me to sit out during the preseason.
It isn’t uncommon for a veteran player who’s been previously injured. Besides, the preseason is really for the rookies to show off and shine, which is precisely what Logan has been doing.
And he’s killing it.
As I lace up my skates for tonight’s first game in the regular season, I’m ready, prepared, and focused.
It wasn’t that long ago that I was telling Damon I didn’t think I’d ever play hockey again, but here I am, about to play my first professional game since the accident—without Jack.
His absence is a reality I won’t ever get used to. But every time my skates hit the ice, every time my stick meets the puck, I remind myself I’m playing for both of us. And somehow, I know he’s out there with me.
It’s enough.
My skates move against the rubber flooring as we make our way onto the ice, the crowd roaring, cheering, and chanting getting louder the closer I get.
I’m out of the tunnel before long, taking it in for the first time in months.
The crowd is a sea of blue. Signs and flashlights from phones sway wildly up and down Great Lakes Stadium. Hands smash against the plexiglass, showing appreciation for their home team.
Hayes steps out first, his blades carving through the glistening ice as he circles it. He taps his stick in the center right where Jack’s emblem is.
We fall in line, following our captain. Oliver first, then Rudy, Austin, me, and the rest of our team. We all tap our sticks in salute to Jack as we take our opening lap.
I stop in front of the boards, eyes scanning the crowd
I spot her easily.
Her dimple is on full display, and she’s wearing a Tornadoes hoodie over black jeans, her green beanie settled on her head to finish off her look.
She didn’t want to sit in the suites with some of the other wives and girlfriends. She wanted to be close to the ice where she could see everything.
And I love seeing her right back.
She gives me a little wave. I wink at her and dip my chin, turning when the refs move toward the center with the puck.
Everyone takes their position.
The puck drops.
And the stadium explodes.
The first two periods go by in a blur. By the third, it feels as if the only time I’ve taken off is when the season ended. We move together as a team, sinking goal after goal.
I send the puck to Rudy, who follows it like it’s his prey. He has the perfect amount of speed and awareness. He pulls back his stick as soon as he gets into position and slams the puck into the back of the net with a swish.
Fucking beautiful.
My lips pull at both sides, mirroring a Cheshire cat smile. Rudy skates past the Hammers d-man, Buckley, who’s furious that he fell for Rudy’s deke and could do nothing but watch him take the shot, giving us the lead we need to secure the win.
The home crowd cheers for a solid minute to show their love and appreciation for number twenty-four.
Rudy skates past Buckley, blowing him a kiss, and the crowd bursts out in applause and cheers.
I’m still grinning—right until Rudy’s face changes.
He should be moving to his mark.
Instead, his body locks, the hockey stick hanging loose in his hand. His gaze focuses straight into the crowd like a hand reaches out and grabs him by the neck.
A cold prickle slides down my spine.
I know he’s not basking in the glory.
He knows when to stop.
The crowd roars behind me. Hayes is being blocked in by two of The Hammers next to our net, but the puck is nowhere near my captain.
I push on my skates to help him, but the two goons disperse as I approach, and when Hayes’s eyes widen, my head snaps back in understanding.
I turn in time to see Buckley charging for Rudy.
A distraction.
“Rudy!” I call out to him as loud as I can.
Rudy doesn’t turn.
Doesn’t brace.
He’s a statue.
Buckley slams into Rudy with a force that punches the air out of the stadium. Rudy’s body lifts before spinning in midair like a ragdoll. His helmet smashes against the boards, a sickening crack echoing louder than the crowd’s collective gasp.
Then silence.
My breath stops as Rudy drops to the ice in a heap. For a heartbeat, it’s Jack all over again—blood, silence, helplessness.
Then the world falls back into place.
Yelling, screaming, and booing hits me from every angle as a medical team rushes onto the ice to get to Rudy.
Oliver and Austin whizz past me, both heading for Buckley as the home crowd hollers in fury. Hayes is already kneeling beside Rudy before the stretcher gets to them.
Rudy doesn’t move.
And as they’re carrying him off the ice, all I can do is stare and pray I’m not watching someone else I love die.
I tune into the chaos and find the refs have Oliver and Austin held back.
Buckley skates away, wiping his lip. When he spits blood on Jack’s sign, a rage I’ve never known ignites my entire body. Before I know it, I eat the distance and launch myself at Buckley, both of us colliding to the ground.
Rudy regains consciousness soon after he’s carted off the ice, but says he has a headache, so Briar insists he go to the hospital. Now we’re waiting for him to be checked out.
A growl rips from deep within me as I thump my fist into my thigh.
It was a fucking dirty hit.
A cheap shot.
The gasp of the crowd was so piercing that my ears are still ringing.
I stand upright the moment the doctor walks over.
“He’s alright,” he says. “Just a mild concussion. He’s awake, so you can see him now.”
Relief spreads through me.
Rudy and I are the same age, but every time I look at him, I see the little brother I never had.
The little brother I want to protect and keep safe.
I know it’s not just me; it’s everyone, especially Hayes—the father figure who looks after everyone and takes on everyone’s problems so they can skate their best.
Our heavy footsteps hit the marble floor and echo around us as we make our way over to Rudy’s room.
We pass a few open doors that give us glimpses of patients. Laughter, conversation, and sitcoms spill out of them.
Finally, we arrive at Rudy’s door and file in.
“You okay, kid?” Hayes asks, tapping Rudy’s covered foot with his hand. Hayes gives him a look as if he failed him today. He always blames himself when one of us gets hurt out there.
“I’ll live. Val said Buckley’s been suspended for four games?”
“Yeah, he has been,” Oliver confirms. “I saw his own captain give him shit for charging.”
“What happened out there, man?” I ask, replaying it.
“I didn’t see him,” Rudy answers.
I shake my head. “That’s not what I mean. You had your back to him, and you didn’t see the hit coming, but you froze before he came after you.”
Rudy’s face pales.
It’s the same look he had out there on the ice.
He glances down at his feet.
“Spencer?” Hayes’s voice is questioning.
Oliver gasps, and Rudy’s eyes shoot up to meet our captain. He’s never used Rudy’s first name. Rudy has always been, well, Rudy.
My gaze cuts across the room when a small figure moves through the door.
Even covered by balloons, I know who it is.
I walk over to take the coffee trays she’s balancing in one hand.
Erin’s face shifts into a quiet thank you and walks to the foot of Rudy’s bed to tie the balloons in place.
When she looks up at Rudy, the light in her eyes dims.
Then it hits me—that look. It’s the same one he gave her when they met on my birthday. =
“Sorry, I can go if you want privacy,” she says a little too quickly, pointing to the door. “I just wanted to bring you coffees since you’ve been waiting awhile. And the balloons. Hospitals can be… depressing.”
“Stay,” I say to her before addressing Rudy. “Why do you keep looking at her like that?”
Rudy avoids my eyes and lets out a curse under his breath.
My own breathing comes to a halt.
Shit. Does he like her?
“You’re right,” he says, his voice hoarse like he’s smoked ten a day from a young age.
“I was distracted.” His eyes flick to Erin.
“I didn’t expect to see you by the bench.
I thought you’d be in the suite with the WAGS,” he says before letting out a sigh.
“Someone might want to hold Pretty Boy back,” Rudy adds, eyes locking on mine, “and remind him that I’m already in a hospital bed. ”
I frown. “What are you talking about?”
Then he looks over at Erin again, completely unaffected, like he’s casually asking her to pass the salt. “Can you lift up your shirt?”
My brain short-circuits, and my eyes practically fall out of their sockets.
What the fuck?
“Dude!” Oliver shouts in disbelief.
Rudy throws up his hands in surrender. “Whoa! No. No. NO! I am not asking her to lift her shirt to see if we might have slept together by identifying a birth mark on her left boob or something. That’s…
fucking gross.” He gags, shaking his head as though someone just dipped his favorite candy bar in vinegar.
He glances at Erin, who looks completely mortified by this whole exchange.
“Not that you’re gross or anything. You’re, uh, pretty. You just… don’t do it for me.” There’s a pause, and then Rudy freezes, eyes narrowing. “Wait. You… don’t have a birthmark on your left boob, do you?”
Hayes pinches the bridge of his nose. “Whatever point you’re trying to make is getting lost. You are not helping yourself here, kid.”
Rudy waves his hand around, dismissing his own question, suddenly irrelevant. “If you do, that’s just pure coincidence at this point. The reason I’m asking is because if you’re who I think you are, you’ll have a scar just off to the left side of your belly button from a knife wound.”
My stomach drops.
“Holy shit!” Our captain’s head whips to Erin, his mouth open for just a second before it morphs into a grin. His reaction tells me he knows exactly who Erin is to Rudy.
Erin’s eyes turn to saucers, and her voice shakes. “H-How do you know that?”
“Because that knife and scar was always meant for me.” His words nearly steal the air in the room. Erin’s eyes well, and every bone in my body constricts.
“See.” Rudy sniffs. “My ask is completely innocent. Nothing sexual about it, not in the slightest.”
“Okay… yeah, that makes sense now, I think?” Oliver says, scratching his head. “Actually, I’m still confused.”
“G-griff?” Erin chokes out.
“Hey, Goose.”
As soon as the words leave Rudy’s lips, Erin bolts past me and throws herself into Rudy.
A jealous breath rushes out of me. I’ve never seen her cling to anyone that way—not even me. Rudy holds her like she’s his raft.
“You didn’t get very much taller, sissy.”
“You got huge.” She laughs.
He’s her brother.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“You changed your name and you didn’t seem to recognize me the first few times we met. I thought maybe you wanted to forget,” Rudy explains.
Erin shakes her head. “No, Griff. You’ve changed so much. You were seventeen the last time I saw you—chubby face and long hair. Now you’re this muscly hockey player.”
“I guess I have changed,” Rudy answers.
“Griff, I’ve never forgotten you. Not for a second,” Erin sobs. “I’m so sorry, Griff. You got hurt because of me.”
“No. Never. I always look out to the crowd to look for you, Goose. I’ve never had any idea of what you’d look like as an adult, but I always searched for you, hoping that I’d know it if I saw you, but that sense never came.
To actually see you out there this time, I couldn’t believe it,” Rudy says, smiling wide.
“You think Brax will arrest me if I kick Buckley’s butt?” Erin says, and it gets a laugh out of all of us. “I can’t believe it’s really you.”
“Tell me your life was peaceful, Goose. Tell me you found a home? A loving family. Tell me you’ve been happy, please?” Rudy begs.
“I was adopted not long after you dropped me at the hospital. They launched an investigation, and Roger went to jail.”
Rudy’s lips pull into a frown at the name of his foster father.
A giggle bursts from Erin. She clutches her stomach as she tries to simmer down.
“It fits,” she wheezes. “You are so pouty.” She swipes under her eyes, and everyone else chuckles along with them. I know this is her moment, but I can’t help but soak in her glory.
She’s radiant.
“Well…” Erin removes herself from Rudy at the sound of our captain’s voice, but she doesn’t let go of his hand as she looks up at Hayes. Her face is red, tear soaked, and puffy but she’s still the most beautiful girl.
“This team is my family,” Hayes says. “These boys are my brothers. It looks like we’ve got even more reasons to be grateful for you.
First, you show this guy he belongs on the ice, then you give us a little bit of Jack back, who was the heart and soul of our family, and now we find out you’re the reason this idiot, who we’ve grown to love very much, is alive. ”
Hayes steps forward and places a kiss on Erin’s cheek. “Thank you, Erin.”
The corners of Erin’s mouth twitch, and she turns her face away, a faint rose tint creeping across her skin and shyly introducing itself.
“Come on, guys,” I say gently. “Let’s give Rudy and Erin some time.”
Everyone exits out as Erin climbs up on the bed and sits cross-legged by Rudy’s feet.
She’s with the person who cared for and protected her when she was just a scared little girl. It makes me love the idiot in the bed a whole lot more than I already do. I can’t imagine the rollercoaster of emotions they’re going through right now.
I slip out of the room and only manage to take two steps before small hands grab my wrist. Erin buries herself into me as I turn, and I wrap my arms around her without hesitation.
“Thank you, Eighty-Seven,” she whispers, her voice trembling, but her grip is tight—anchoring herself to me and choosing me in the middle of the storm.
“Thank you for keeping him company until we found each other again.”
“You’re welcome, sweetheart.”