Chapter 32 Erin
My eyes feel gritty, the way they always do after I’ve cried myself empty. My throat is tight and scratchy, like I swallowed a handful of sand in my sleep.
I wake with my cheek pressed against Chase’s collarbone. His eyes are heavy but focused and I sense he’s been watching me all night, purposely staying awake to keep the nightmares from finding me.
He coaxes me out of the tent once the sun is up, hands gentle, movements unhurried.
Inside, morning light spills across the table, catching the steam rising from the waffles.
A consistent throb pulses behind my eyes, but I pretend not to notice. I don’t even take aspirin for it, not wanting to draw attention to myself.
Buttery waffles, roasted coffee, and a hint of vanilla hang heavy in the air. Normally, I’d stuff my face, but today, the sweetness turns my stomach.
I drag the fork through my waffles without lifting it once. I just stare at my plate, utensil in my hand as Roman’s clinks against his dish. With every enthusiastic bite, the metal scratches, making my head ache.
My mind drags, watching him talk to his dad, who beams back at him as if his son is his entire universe and his sole purpose in life is to make sure that Roman stays happy.
The clattering of a fork against the wooden table pulls me from my thoughts. Roman climbs down from his chair and stands beside me, taking mine from my hand.
“Here,” he says, cutting my waffles for me into little bite-sized chunks that match his. When he’s done, he shoots me a grin and goes back to his seat.
My eyes flick over to Brax, who sends his son a wink for being helpful before sipping his coffee.
Roman waits eagerly for me to eat. I stab the fork into my waffle and swirl it around the fluffy strawberry compote that’s in a white ceramic pot on my plate and slide the fork into my mouth.
Holy heck.
“Dad makes the best waffles in the whole universe,” Roman says proudly as he steals another one from the plate in the middle of the table and hoovers it up instantly.
“Every year at Roman’s school, there’s a family picnic. The waffles are always a hit,” Chase says after he swallows his food.
“That sounds fun. When’s the next one?” I ask.
Roman shrugs. “We’re not going this year.”
“Why not, bud?” Chase asks.
Roman groans way too dramatically for a six-year-old.
“Because all the single moms flirt with Dad, and the last girl I had a crush on told me I couldn’t have a crush on her because there was a chance my dad would marry her mom and we’d be siblings, and you shouldn’t have crushes on your siblings because that’s nesting. ”
Brax chokes on his coffee and turns bright red while Chase throws his head back in laughter. I press my hand to my mouth, trying to stifle the amusement bubbling up inside me.
Brax shoots Chase a I will kill you if that leaves this table look.
“I also happen to be traveling back from an out-of-town conference that week,” Brax says, not bothering to correct his son’s mispronunciation of the word. As I look over at Brax, I can tell he’d rather sit through hours of heckling and comments about ‘nesting’ if it meant he could be next to Roman.
“I could go to the picnic with you?” I offer. “I’m not bad at following recipes, but I can’t promise they’ll be as tasty as your dad’s,” I tell Roman.
“Hey, bud, I’m sure if you ask Elena really nicely and give her your best secret smile, she’ll help out with the waffles,” Chase says.
Roman tilts his head. “What’s a secret smile?”
“It’s a smile you share with only one person,” Chase responds.
Roman hums in his seat, and then his eyes light up. “Like the one Erin gives to you?”
This time it’s me who sputters out coffee.
Brax folds his arms onto the table and arches his brow. “And how do you know what kind of smiles Erin gives to your uncle?”
“Erin smiles a lot, but when she smiles at Uncle Chasey, she gets a line right here,” he says and then stabs his cheek with his tiny pointer finger. “I’ve never seen it happen with anyone else other than him.”
I avert my eyes because I know Chase is really smug right about now, and I don’t need to look at him to know his lips are pulling into a smirk.
“Your Uncle Chasey and I have some grown up stuff to do soon, Roman. Do you want to show Erin your stuff before she gets too busy?”
Roman jumps off the chair and races to his room. A few moments later, he comes back with a book cradled in his hands.
He lays it open in front of me, and I take in the hand drawn family tree across two blank pages.
I pick up the loose pictures. There’s one of Roman as a baby, Brax, Emma—his mom—and Dex—Emma’s fiancé.
I laugh at one of Roman, Brodie, and Bella together with matching mohawks.
I flick to the next one of Roman on Chase’s shoulders.
The final one is Roman sitting in the goalie net with Austin.
Oliver, Hayes, Rudy, and Jack are around them.
“I need your picture,” Roman says, and my head snaps to look at him and the camera in his hands.
My breath catches, and the page blurs for half a second.
“My picture?”
“You’re Uncle Chasey’s girlfriend so that makes you my family, which means you need a spot on my tree.”
“I do?”
“Yeah, you do,” Brax says, smiling gently.
A scrape of chair legs catches my attention. Chase pushes out of his seat and walks over to me. He takes my hand, pulls me out of mine, sits back down, then tugs me onto his lap, holding me closely to him.
“Smile, baby,” he says.
I look at Roman and pull my lips into a smile. As the flash goes off, a single thought enters my head.
They consider me family.
After breakfast, Roman disappears to play video games. Chase, Brax, and I gather around a laptop to watch the footage from Bakes by the Lakes that Elena pulled for Brax this morning. I’d asked if he could get it, but he’d already asked for it. As if he knew watching it would give me peace of mind.
Even though I heard my mother’s voice clear as day at the café, I have to see her.
Maybe it’s absurd. Maybe it’s the part of me that wants to understand why she couldn’t love me, why I wasn’t worthy of anything other than her anger and spite.
I’d heard her voice for years, thought I’d finally put her behind me, and then yesterday happened.
Now I need to know why she’s really here.
I clutch a cushion to my stomach, regretting eating the waffles, even if they were delicious.
“Are you doing okay? You look a little pale,” Chase asks, taking my hand and pressing a kiss to my knuckles.
“Fine,” I say and turn to face the laptop screen.
The footage crackles to life, and the second her voice fills the room, my body goes ice cold. Her face appears next, and I take it in. She’s older, her features more defined but still unbearably familiar.
My skin prickles, the air thinning around me. For a moment, I forget how to breathe.
You can’t see my face in the footage, just my back, but it’s obvious I’m rooted in place. My back is stiff. Brax steps in and lifts me away a moment later as if it’s a regular thing for a six-foot-six man to appear out of nowhere and carry a damsel in distress away.
And then it ends, but the unsettling sickness in my stomach lingers long after the footage stops playing.
Despite the meltdown I was having at the far end of the bar and that man complaining without any reservations, she didn’t even glance my way.
“She never smiled,” I say quietly. “I only saw it once when she had…”
Her head was thrown back in lust—an image I’ve tried to erase.
Brax slides a file across the coffee table. “I did some research into your mom last night,” he says. His fingers linger on top of the file as if he’s deciding if he wants me to see it or not. Then, he lifts his hand, giving me access.
I open it and scan through the information and images Brax printed.
“She owns five hotels. The Secret Roses franchise is well-known for their themes, uniqueness, and all-around extravagance,” he says while I read. A bitter taste lingers on my tongue—jealousy, maybe, or just thirteen years’ worth of resentment finally surfacing.
“People refer to the hotels as a luxurious slice of paradise without having to leave the country. They’re for the wealthy and, as of five years ago, only those over the age of twenty-one can book a room. It’s another part of the appeal—the exclusivity.”
“Do you think that’s why she’s here?” Chase asks. “Is Huxley Bay about to get its very own Secret Roses Hotel?”
“Every sign points in that direction,” Brax answers.
There’s a brief pause as if he doesn’t totally believe his own words.
“I…” His voice wavers before he continues.
“The street cameras I got permission to access around Bakes by the Lakes show Clarissa Rose meeting up with Weston Monroe, the owner of the Huxley Manor, right after she left the café.”
He taps the laptop, pulling up stills of them sitting on a bench. “He’s been looking to sell for a while so he can move to Colorado. His daughter is due to have his first grandchild. It seems as though Clarissa Rose responded to his real estate ad.”
When I look at Brax, there’s an unreadable expression on his face. Just a flicker of what looks like—regret, perhaps. I open my mouth to speak, but a wail stops me.
“Uncle Chaseeeeeeey,” Roman yells from his room. “I need help killing the gargoyle!” His dramatic plea makes me chuckle despite everything as Chase stands.
“I’m guessing there’s nothing you found on the big wide web that tells you what my mother’s connection to The Octopus is?” I ask when Chase is out of earshot.
Brax’s expression tightens but this time it’s gone as fast as it comes. “Afraid not,” he says. “I’m still looking for evidence that’s…concrete.” His eyes shift and move back to the still images. “Did you get a chance to talk to Chase last night?”
“He wanted me to sleep,” I say, shaking my head. “This isn’t exactly a romantic conversation to have over date night,” I say as I stare into my hands. “I don’t know how to tell Chase, Bella, or Griff any of this. I don’t know what any of this means.”
My head spins with thought after thought.
Did my mother run because she killed my father and didn’t want to get caught? It doesn’t sound like The Octopus would be on her payroll, so why would he clean up her mess?
Brax’s words draw me back.
“You don’t have to carry this alone, Erin,” he says quietly. “Chase will understand more than you think. He’ll be there for you. You just have to let him.”
“I’m scared, Brax,” I admit.
“I know.” His voice dips. “There’s more to this,” he adds after a pause, and the shift in his tone tells me he’s holding back his words. “You deserve the truth, not theories. I’ll do my best to get it for you.”
“I don’t want to keep secrets from Chase, not after everything we’ve overcome to get here. But I don’t want my past to hurt him, and I think this will hurt him.”
Brax’s gaze lingers on me for a moment. His jaw tightens as if he’s fighting with himself. “He’s been through a lot,” he says. “But he’s tough.”
Chase’s ocean blue eyes that make me weak in the knees hit me at full force, and I can’t stop the words from spilling out of me. “He’s my everything, Brax,” I choke, admitting what I’ve always known deep in my bones.
Chase Harper is my forever.
“She took my home and life from me once before, and I adjusted to it the best I could. I’m still trying.
But this time my life—my home—isn’t a place.
It’s a person. I can’t let her take another thing from me.
If the hotel is a front and she’s here for any other reason.
Cartel or worse, I’ll do whatever it takes to help you stop her. ”
Brax’s look hardens. There’s tension behind his dark eyes.
“I’ll do what I can to help you understand this better before you talk to the others.
” There’s an edge to his voice now, and I get the impression he’s choosing his words carefully.
“Erin… I’m not forcing you to tell Chase before you’re ready.
But promise me you will. Don’t keep this from him.
Chase won’t like you putting yourself in harm’s way.
He’ll hate it even more if he finds out after the fact. ”
I can see he doesn’t want me to share this just for Chase’s sake. It’s clear he’s trying to protect me too, and maybe that’s why it seems like he’s holding information back.
“I’ll tell Chase, Bella, and Griff. I just need some time to figure out what exactly I’m telling them, because right now, it’s a whole lot of nothing. And I’m not naive enough to believe that this means nothing.”
Something’s coming.
I know it.
I just don’t know what.
“What I do know is that I won’t freeze again.” My voice holds, but my hands shake. Fear and determination can live in the same breath—I’m learning that.
Brax’s gaze skims the papers quickly, making me think he’s avoiding a truth on the page. A cold shiver rolls through me. Somehow, I know that whatever we find, we’ll never be able to ignore it.