23. Blaming Others
Chapter twenty-three
Blaming Others
Charlie
“What the hell is all this mess?” Looking over to what should be my nice tidy apartment, it now looks like a bomb has hit it, a mess bomb; clothes, shoes, cases, lotions, bikinis, bags, you name it. If you can use it on holiday, then I bought it today, as Leon points out so nicely.
“What’s going on?” Caution laces his deep voice. This is far from what it normally looks like. I’m organised and tidy. This is far, far from normal.
“What do you think this is?” I say with as much sarcasm as possible. “Because you all had to work last night, I got drunk, really freaking drunk.” My stomach rolls at the thought of it. “Like I don’t remember what happened… that kind of drunk. Because you and your crew of boys had to go to work.” His brows raise at me in amusement, but I think there’s a hint of relief in his eyes, not knowing what I was about to say and taking in the mess of my apartment.
“My crew of boys?” He swallows, concern lacing his face for a split second. Dickhead.
“Yes, your crew of boys , and guess what drunk Charlie did?” Pointing an accusing finger at myself, I continue. “She booked herself a freaking five-star holiday to Greece that leaves tomorrow morning. That's what this mess is, Leon. Your fault, that’s what this is. And to top it off, I’m going alone, all by myself. Alone.” There’s a flash of something serious across his face before he looks at me with his brows drawn tight.
“How is this my fault? Why did you get so drunk? It was a Friday night at Millie and Jack’s house. What happened?” He looks from me to the mess again.
“Doesn’t matter…” I clench my fist to my side, keeping my reasons inside. I don’t really want to get into it again. The shopping trip with Millie was bad enough. I’ve decided that’s it. I’m fed up with being sad over Owen. “You have a way of stopping me doing stupid things when I’m drunk, or more so stopping me from getting drunk.” Placing a few of the things I bought today in the case that’s on my living room floor, I attempt to pack for the third time.
Leon starts picking up the clothes and folding them into a nice pile on the table. This is why Leon is a big teddy bear. He’s kind, he knows my mind won't rest until the place is tidy. He knows me.
It’s a shame I’m not attracted to him. I mean, he is gorgeous in his own way. Tall, well over six foot five, short dark hair with a beard that’s longer than the hair on his head. It’s the way he’s built though; stocky just doesn’t cover the broadness of this man. His arms and thighs alone are wider than me, but it works. He’s solid, all muscle. All in proportion. Well, I’ve not seen all of him , so I’m only guessing. Whoever gets this man will be one lucky person.
“I did more than one stupid thing last night, and I can’t remember either of them. I just have the proof I did it on my phone.” Glancing at the offending item on the table, the feeling comes back to me like a brick in water, sinking.
“What was the other stupid thing you did?” He knows before I say it. It happens more than it should, but I can’t bring myself to delete his number. Just in case.
“I called him. I have no idea what I said for three minutes and fifteen seconds, but I called him. Again.” Okay, well maybe I have an idea. Not the actual words, but just a feeling I get in my chest when I think about making that call.
It’s a mixture of everything—defiance, energy, shame, loss, and sadness, but I think it’s mainly regret. That takes it all to the next level. I’ll never know what we could have had.
“Oh.” The sympathy in his voice annoys me a little. That’s why this reset will be good for me. Moving to the sofa, Leon pulls me down next to him. His protective and caring tree trunk arm resting on my shoulders.
“You booked a holiday? By yourself?” pausing, he continues his hug. “I think it will be good for you.” I know he’s going to be concerned. He’s been a constant presence since Owen walked away from me.
“This is still all your fault,” I tease while he rolls his eyes. I like being able to blame others. It’s easier than admitting my weaknesses and faults.
“What time do you leave? Do you want me to come with you? I could rearrange some things at work?” I know he would. I can see the thoughts running through his head. I’ve not really been out of their sight in the last twelve months. I can see he’s unsure of me being alone in a different country.
“That’s sweet, but I think I need to do this on my own. Millie called it a reset. I think I need this. He’s forgotten about me Leon, it’s time I did the same.”
His expression is tormented, but I know that he’s pissed off with Owen, not me. I’m a grown-ass woman, but I can look after myself. With a disgruntled sigh, he squeezes me again.
“If you’re sure. Just message me while you're away. I want all the details of where you’re staying, flights, transport, room number, and anything else you think I may need… so I know you're safe.” I know this friendship was forced upon him, but his smile lets me know he really cares. I know the others do too.
“I’ll do one better and send you little videos… so you know I’m safe.” I snuggle him a little harder before I move off the sofa. I still have a tonne to do before I leave.
“I’ll let the others know. Do you need a lift to the airport?” he asks, standing with me as his phone rings in his pocket, but he ignores it.
“No, I’m driving. The return flight is at an odd hour and parking was cheap.”
“Message me when you leave, when you arrive at the airport, when you board and when you land, then when you get to the hotel... then I want updates every day, twice a day, if not more.” He looks like he’s mentally checking that will be enough to satisfy him.
“Anything else you want to demand of me?” I say in defeat.
“No, I think that's it.” His phone starts to ring again. This time at least taking it out of his pocket, he nods at me, then heads for the door.
“See you in a week then.” He smiles at me, a light frown creasing his brow.
“See you in a week, Leon. Don’t miss me too much,” I reply, blowing him a kiss.
Watching him leave, I head to the window and open it fully to get some air in the place before I close it up for a week. I see Leon look to answer his phone. I’m not normally nosey, it’s only because he swears and it catches my attention, that I listen in, hiding so he can’t see me.
“You bastard.” Leon sounds angry, but there’s an element of relief in his tone. Who is he talking to? He’s normally so calm, level-headed.
“Twelve months, you fucking dick-faced-arsehole, twelve fucking months.” He glances up at my window, but he can’t see me from this angle. My chest tightens. I know exactly who he’s talking to. My excitement ebbs away the more I listen. I don’t know what to do.
“You're the biggest fucking idiot on the planet. Do you know that?”
He called Leon… not me.