19. Glenn Ligon Peace Treaty
GLENN LIGON PEACE TREATY
Dahlia
Having a real backyard was always a dream of mine as a little girl.
Growing up in New York, unless your family came from ridiculous money or had a house on Long Island, our version of a backyard was always the slab of concrete between the garage and the house.
Usually no wider or longer than ten or fifteen feet each way but a city kid’s backyard was a playground for the imagination.
Now I have a real backyard. It isn’t large—no townhouse in Manhattan has that much space—but it’s roomy and beautiful with a living space and outside kitchen I’ve never used.
I hate to barbeque and I really only come out here to enjoy the fire pit.
Such an absurd amount of money but worth every penny.
Karina is still asleep and I doubt she’ll be up anytime soon.
She wasn’t hysterical so much as wound up and riding an adrenaline high.
A few hours ago she finally crashed and Lyss stayed with her to make sure she got some rest. I came out here to get some air and now I can’t bring myself to go back inside.
Which I probably should because it looks like it’s going to rain any minute.
Karina will be waking up to a whole new reality.
I may already be used to this kind of chaos but she isn’t.
Alejandro, Diego, and I will have to guide her and watch over her, especially as she gets closer to her due date.
Once she wakes up, I’ll have no choice but to have a serious talk with her about the Narvaez family, what they do, and why Alejandro and Diego can make the Brent thing mostly go away.
How do I explain it to her, how much do I share, and should I even tell her at all? Will it make things worse?
I was relieved when the Li situation was finally taken care of and I’ve been on cloud nine ever since Alejandro and I got back together.
While none of what’s going on with Karina and Diego will affect us directly, it’s still happening around us.
They’re going to need our support for a while and we have to be there for them.
They’re our family.
The back door opens and I assume it’s Alejandro come to tell me everything’s been taken care of.
I nearly fall off my seat when Lettie steps out on the patio.
“Hi,” she hesitates. “Um…Alex said you might be back here.”
“Yes, hi—I—” I trip over myself as I get to my feet. “What…when—”
“They called me when everything happened. Thought I’d lend a helping hand.” She wraps her arms around herself. “How’s Kay?”
“She’s fine. Sleeping.”
She chews on the inside of her cheek and looks in my direction but never quite at me. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m…I’m all right. I guess.”
“We heard you were in the hospital. Glad you’re not dead or whatever.”
I frown. “That was months ago, Lettie.”
“Jesus Christ Dahlia I’m trying to say I’m sorry!” the words practically burst out of her. “I’m not really good at it. Sorry my brother sucks. Sorry you almost died and I didn’t come see you. Forgive me please.”
I cross the distance between us until we’re standing face-to-face.
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let what was going on between your brother and me affect our friendship.”
Lettie drops her arms and her gaze drops to her hands.
Several rings run up and down her long fingers and she fiddles with each of them.
“Truth is, I was afraid of losing you. I wanted so badly for you to come back that I defended Alejandro when I knew he was wrong. I expected you to want a relationship with your ex’s little sister when your priority should’ve been healing and moving on. ”
Her voice tightens. “I don’t know how else to describe it but when you left, it felt like our family died a second time.
When you were with us, everything was so warm.
It was like the color had finally returned to our lives.
And when you left, all I could think of was how life felt the summer after our dad died. ”
“Lettie…” my throat burns but I manage to keep the tears at bay.
“We keep a tight knit circle. You know how hard it is—it’s really, really hard for me to let people in.
I resented Alejandro for bringing you into our lives and I resented you for leaving.
” She blinks away at the wetness gathering along her lashes and shrugs.
“It’s why I didn’t visit you in the hospital.
I was angry you had left and embarrassed by all the things I’d done in an attempt to get you to come back. I didn’t know what to say and—”
I reach out and take her hand in mine.
“You know I love you right?”
Lettie sighs and tilts her head back in time for a tear to trickle down her temple instead of her cheek. “Emotions make me uncomfortable.”
The back door opens again and we turn to see who it is. Diego stands awkwardly with his hands in his pockets.
“Alex sent me.” He rocks back and forth on his heels. “I’m supposed to make sure you don’t kill each other.”
“No one’s killing anyone.” I say and drape an arm over her shoulders. “We were talking about feelings.”
Lettie rolls her eyes.
“But it’s all okay now. We’re good.”
Diego’s brows shoot up to his forehead. “Good?” his eyes dart between the two of us. “Like good, good?”
“Mhm. We were just saying how much we love each other. Right, you little grump?” I take her face in my hand and kiss her cheek. Lettie squirms in my grip. “I love you, Lettie.”
“Yes, well…this has been a very illuminating evening.”
I laugh. “Say it back, asshole.”
She makes a disgusted face. “Say what?”
“Tell me you love me too.”
“What? No!”
“Lettie,” I punch her arm. “Go. Say it.”
She groans. “I don’t want to.”
“Leticia.”
“Ugh, fine! I love you too,” she murmurs, the words quick and squished together. “Happy?”
I smile smugly. “Very.”
Diego clears his throat. “About, um…everything.”
He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He makes several false starts, gestures with his hands, and stops halfway before shoving them both in his pockets again. For someone whose confidence and sense of self has always been so secure, to see him this uncertain is strange.
“Karina and I, that night,” he runs a hand through his hair. “We were only together because we were worried about you. The truth is, if something ever happened to you, I don’t—I don’t know…”
Diego can’t meet my gaze and instead stares at the tips of his shoes. I don’t mind.
“I know you came into our lives because of our brother but you belong to us too…if that makes sense.” He hesitates. “And getting Karina pregnant is definitely much worse than you telling me to go fuck myself over the phone.”
“Much worse,” I agree.
“Almost incestuous when you think about it.” Lettie adds.
“And the fact that you were in New York for an entire month and never came to see me.”
Lettie says in my ear, “Don’t forgive him. Make him work for it. His fuck up is way worse than mine.”
Diego and Lettie aren’t the only ones who didn’t come to see me in the hospital.
Neither Karina nor my father were able to work up the courage to do so and while all four of them had distinctly different reasons, I can’t help but wonder if I’m not partly to blame.
Everyone can’t be the problem. There has to be something I’m doing, or something I’m not, that’s made it difficult for the most important people in my life to approach me. Maybe I need to change too.
Right after I make Diego work for it a little bit.
“You impregnated my cousin.”
“I know.”
“And I bet you’ve had a thing for her this whole time and didn’t even tell me. I saw you guys at Christmas. You kept it a secret.”
He lowers his head. “Dee, I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry. For all of it. I’ll do anything. You know I’m not good with words—Alex is the flowery one.”
I squint. “How about a favor?”
“Fine.”
“Any favor?”
“Any favor. And it doesn’t have an expiration date,” he says.
“Can I get one of your leather jackets too?”
“Sure.”
“The Glenn Ligon with the red interior.”
Diego visibly recoils like he’s been stabbed.
Lettie’s eyes light up. “Excellent choice.”
I smile. “Thank you.”
He releases a breath between his teeth and closes his eyes. “Fine.”
I extend my hand. “Deal.”
He takes my outstretched hand but it doesn’t feel right. When I pull him in for a hug, he holds on to me for dear life.
Lettie attempts to sidestep us. “All right, so, this is between you two—”
I grab her arm before she can sneak off and pull her into our embrace. She doesn’t try to escape.