31. Ant
CHAPTER 31
ANT
Panic fills me the second Axel disconnects the call. What the fuck is he going to do?
Slamming my laptop shut, I take off running towards the waiting area, manoeuvring around the nurses and doctors not waiting for them to stop me. My shoes pound against the floor as I search for one of my brothers.
I round the corner, spotting Carter standing with Mandy near the exit. He turns towards me, his eyebrows furrowed at the sound of my hurried footsteps.
“Woah, slow down there tiger. What’s wrong?” Carter asks, his voice laced with concern.
I point frantically towards the door, trying to get the message across. He glances in the direction I’m pointing before looking back towards me.
“Axel?” He asks.
Yes. Thank god he’s not a total idiot. I nod, placing my hands on my knees as I try to catch my breath.
Carter clicks his fingers, “Oh, you just missed him. Sorry brother.”
Never mind. He is a total idiot.
I shoot him a look of pure disbelief as I stand up straight before turning to Mandy, silently pleading for her to help. She glances between me and Carter, biting her lip, clearly amused by his obliviousness.
“Carter, I think he knows Axel left…” She says gently, her voice filled with patience.
Her voice is absolute perfection. It’s like it cuts through the chase in my head, grounding me for a moment from everything going on. As I watch her, the world seems to fade away until its just the two of us standing here. She tucks a strand of her brunette hair behind her ear, and all I can do is stand here captured by her beauty.
“Calling Ant… Hello? Are you with us?” Carter’s voice snaps me back to reality as he waves a hand in my face.
Huh? I blink at him, struggling to remember what we were talking about. Mandy smiles at me, and yeah.. She definitely caught me staring.
Pulling out my phone, I open the notes app and type: ‘Axel. Where did he go?’
Carter leans over to read the screen, his face lighting up in realisation. “Oh! Erm… I don’t actually know. He told me to stay here and keep an eye on Eva while he sorted out Marco.”
My stomach sinks as I read back his words to myself. He knew and let him go alone?
“Oh fuck,” Carter murmurs, his face pale as if he’s just now understanding the situation. “He’s going to sort out Marco. ”
I nod sharply, typing out another note: ‘We need to move. Now.’
Carter straightens, his expression hardening. “You’re right. Let’s go.”
Mandy steps forward, placing a hand on my arm. “Wait, what about Eva? We can’t just leave her.”
I pause, meeting her worried gaze. She’s right, we can’t leave her but she won’t. There is no way in hell that I will let her come with us.
Looking towards Carter, I nod in her direction before shaking my head, sending him the message that she is to stay here.
Sighing, he faces her, “You need to stay here, it’s not safe for you to come with us and you’re right. We can’t leave Eva and you’ll be protecting her better by staying.”
He turns and walks away before she has the chance to argue. I give her a sympathetic smile, my way of saying sorry before following Carter out the door.
“Where to?” Carter asks, unlocking the car.
I type another message: “ Apartment, Axel said he will leave a note. Maybe we can catch him.”
He nods in response to my message, “Apartment it is, strap in. It’s about to be a bumpy ride.”
I shake my head, even in the most intense moments, you can always rely on Carter to crack out a movie quote.
We arrive at the apartment in record time but when we do, Axel’s bike is nowhere to be seen.
Fuck.
I slam my first against the dashboard causing a sharp pain to shoot up my arm.
Carter flinches from my sudden outburst, “Jesus, Ant. What?” his eyes dart, looking outside, trying to follow my gaze.
He hasn’t seen it yet. We missed him, we fucking missed him and now he’s gone.
I don’t wait for him to figure it out. Throwing the car door open, I bolt towards the apartment, slamming the front door against the wall as I enter. The sound echoes through the living room as I look around expecting to see him, but the only thing that greets me is silence.
My heart pounds as I try and listen closely, any sign that he might still be here. But deep down, I know he isn’t.
The letter.
I move towards my bedroom, my stomach twisting with every step I take. It doesn’t take me long to see it as it sits neatly on top of the pillow like a final goodbye.
I freeze in the doorway, my legs refusing to take another step. Just the sight of that folded piece of paper is enough to knock the wind out of me. If I pick it p, this becomes real.
Axels, plan. Whatever it is. Becomes real.
“What is it?” Carter's voice pulls me back into the room. I turn slightly to see him standing in the doorway, his face lined with concern.
I let my feet take the lead as I step closer. Taking a deep breath I pick it up, but when I do something else catches my eye.
No. No, no, no.
A cold dread washes over me as I spot what’s hidden underneath. His tracker and phone.
“Shit,” Carter mutters as he joins me by the bed. “That son of a bitch…”
Axel left us no way to find him. No way to track him. No way to help him.
I clutch the letter in my hand as anger rages through me. Axel didn’t just leave us behind, he shut us out.
“What now?” Carter asks, his voice barely a whisper.
I unfold the letter, knowing that whatever Axel has written, it’s the only clue we have left to find him.
Ant —
I know you’re reading this, and I know you’re pissed. You probably want to punch me right now, but I need you to read this carefully.
This isn’t your fight. It’s not Carters, Flynn, Gunnars either. It’s mine.
Marco came after Eva because of me, he went after Flynn and Mandy because of me. I can’t let anyone else get hurt because of our family. I need to do what I need to as Leader, and that’s to protect all of you.
You’ve always been the smartest out of all of us. I know you’ll try to track me, and by now you’ll know I left my phone and tracker. Marco’s expecting me, and if you show up, it will only make things worse. He told me what happened all those years ago, I wish you told me but I understand why you didn’t.
Take care of Eva. She needs all of you more than she needs me right now. Fuck, she doesn’t even want to see me Ant.
Look after Mandy too. I don’t know what is happening between you two but I accept it. Keep them safe. Promise me that.
I don’t know how this is going to end, but if I don't come back… You’re in charge. I trust you to do what’s right.
For Eva, for the family.
I’ll do everything I can to make it back to all of you, but if I dont… Tell Eva I love her. Tell her I’m sorry.
Take care of each other.
— Axel
“Well… What does it say?” Carter asks, I hear the urgency in his voice as he leans in closer, trying to catch a glimpse of the letter over my shoulder.
I pass it to him, my fingers lingering on the paper for a moment before letting it go. It sounds like a final goodbye but I won’t allow that to happen. As Carter takes the letter, I turn away to hide the tears that threaten to break free.
Sinking onto the edge of my bed, I bury my face into my hands. All possibilities race through my mind but not a single one of them are good.
How the fuck are we supposed to find him?
Carter paces around the room slowly, reading the letter over and over again. “We need to tell Eva,” he says quietly.
My chest tightens and I shake my head. No, not yet.
“Ant, she deserves to know,” he argues, his voice firmer now. “Axels doing this for all of us, Ant. You can’t shield her from everything. If anyone can help us piece this together, it's her. It’s her job and really… we are still paying her company to track Rachel.”
Fuck, he’s right, but maybe we can delay it until after we’ve- I don’t know.
Carter sighs before joining me on the edge of the bed. “You read the note. Axel’s made up his mind, we need help figuring this out and that includes her.”
I swallow hard, my gaze falling to the floor. He’s right, but that doesn’t make it any easier. The note hinted at something, something I did. Something I thought was buried in the past and if Mandy ever finds out.. Fuck. I can’t think about that right now.
Carter leans in closer, bumping my shoulder against his before dropping his voice softer. “You’re not the only one who’s scared, Ant. But if we don’t bring her into this, we’re not giving ourselves the best shot at bringing Axel back alive.”
I look towards him. He’s right and as much as I hate to admit he is. Eva needs to know whether she likes it or not.