Chapter Twenty-Seven
The power flickered back to life the day before they were scheduled to return home.
The caretakers had notified Hawk that they’d arranged for a private plow to clear a path to the main road.
Which afforded them an opportunity to see the actual town of Aspen and eat a meal that they didn’t cook.
Neither one of them was sad to leave the cooking behind for their last dinner in Colorado.
They purchased three large suitcases and packed the entirety of the contents of the safe into them. Having a private plane was never more appreciated. No questions ... no inspections.
Alex was convinced that something huge was going on behind the scenes, and she and her brothers were going to be caught in the crossfire sooner rather than later.
With the fire in the bedroom keeping them warm on their last night, Alex and Hawk sat up against the headboard, talking like they had nearly every evening.
“Are you ready to go back?” Hawk asked.
“I am. How does that look, though? Do I keep hiding out at a home office and let this Play-Doh wannabe bomber keep me hiding?”
“There are a lot more security measures in place. My guess is whoever was behind that won’t be able to do the same thing twice.”
Alex found a comfortable place at Hawk’s side with his arm around her back. “Good. I don’t like weakness. I don’t like showing it, I don’t like seeing it.”
“You’re one of the strongest people I know,” Hawk said.
His hand stroked hers in silence.
“There is something we need to discuss before we leave tomorrow,” Hawk began.
As the hours had drawn closer to their departure, Alex could see Hawk struggling with something.
She couldn’t stop the feeling of darkness coming over her. “Why do I feel I’m not going to like this.”
He took a deep breath. “We need to keep this part of our relationship as close to the chest as possible.”
That was better than “This was fun, but it needs to end.”
“Define ‘close to the chest,’” she said.
“Public. At the office, on the street.”
Alex pushed off his chest and disengaged their hands. Dread stuck in her throat. “You’re embarrassed?”
Hawk choked on a laugh. “Are you kidding me?”
“Then why?” She stared directly into his eyes.
“Your safety.”
“What could be safer than my personal bodyguard being in my bed?” Her voice rose, and she scooted a couple of inches away to get a stronger look at him.
“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to be in your bed, we just can’t tell the world that’s where I am.”
“You need to spell this out for me. What is the problem with—”
“I know from experience that the bad guys exploit weakness. If the person that threatened you is watching, they can use my feelings for you against us. Use whatever you’re feeling against you.
Protecting you became more difficult the moment we kissed.
A more honorable man wouldn’t have allowed this to happen.
” He pointed a finger between the two of them.
“You’re dripping in honor.”
From the expression on Hawk’s face, he didn’t believe her.
He took her hands in his. “If they know about us, and they plan on striking again, they will do it when I’m not there. They will wait until I’m not at your side.”
“We don’t know that.”
“You can fight me on many things. I like the challenge. But please take my lead on this. Don’t fight me on this. Trust I know what I’m talking about.”
The irony of having someone in your life and needing to hide them. It’s as if she were truly living her father’s life. Secret lovers, clandestine rendezvous. An affair.
“My family will know. I can keep a professional poker face, but I can’t lie to my family.”
Hawk drew her hands to his lips, kissed her knuckles. “I can work with that.”
“And Nick. Honestly, he’ll smell you on me.”
That made Hawk smile.
“You’re always telling me how unaware I am of what’s going on around me. You clearly have a skill at reading people. Do you have any tips to share?”
“Seriously?”
She sighed. “The day will come when my personal armed security won’t be standing next to me.”
“Getting rid of me already?” he teased.
Alex rolled over on her stomach and propped her chin on her hands. “Enlighten me, wise one.”
Hawk nodded a few times. “Okay. Let’s talk about body language.
You already understand, and demonstrate on the daily, how to make people in the room listen.
How to tell them you’re in charge without saying that you’re in charge.
What I don’t see from you is reading others’ body language.
Body language says a lot more than the words coming out of someone’s mouth.
Look beyond what they are saying. How far apart are the words that are coming out of someone’s mouth from how they are acting?
When I’m talking with someone I believe is guilty of anything, I watch their movement more than I listen to them.
What are their eyes doing? How is their posture?
Do they stutter on any word? If someone else is in the room, are they looking at them? ”
“A disconnect?”
“Exactly. A lot of people think they’re good actors.” He shook his head. “They’re not. Is there warmth in the eyes of the man who says he loves his wife?”
Hawk ran a hand down the side of Alex’s face, his eyes soaked her in, his lips parted.
“Or does the man look away?”
Hawk didn’t.
“Listen to your gut and look for visual cues to reinforce your feeling. Shuffling feet, fidgeting ... did they answer a question too fast? Ask questions quickly, see if you can catch that person in a lie. You’d be surprised how rapidly a lie will slip out.
It’s hard to keep a lie straight when you don’t give someone time to think. ”
“Be the offense.”
“Exactly. If the person you are talking to is hiding something, don’t show everything in your hand. Make them think you know something that they think you don’t know. Be in charge. We both know you like that.”
Alex reached out and placed her hand on his chest. “I like it when you take charge.”
“I noticed.”
Her fingertips danced over the muscles of his chest and slowly moved lower.
“I know a few things about body language.” She pulled herself up on an elbow and watched her fingers peel back the sheet covering Hawk’s hips.
His breath caught.
Alex smiled.
“Are you going to teach me something?”
Her hooded gaze found his.
The rise and fall of his chest increased. He shifted his eyes to his cock that twitched under the sheet.
Alex hummed. “I think you already know about this.”
Her hand dipped lower.
Hawk caught the back of her head, and his thumb grazed her lips.
She twisted, caught his thumb, and sucked on it hard.
His hand tightened, and a soft growl released in the back of his throat.
“How about a refresher course?”
The sheet fell down past his hips.
Alex settled in and slid her tongue up the length of him. “I like that idea.”
Their body language tutorial ended in a way that neither one of them would ever forget.
An hour later, watching the flames turn to embers, Alex felt the even flow of breath coming from Hawk in his sleep.
He’d made love to her, slowly and completely.
And for the first time since they’d shared a bed, he fell asleep before she did.
In fact, she’d not once seen him actually sleeping except in the chair on their first night at the cabin.
He was always out of bed when she woke, leaving her feeling alone.
A deep insecurity festered, and it was pushed deeper by knowing that Hawk wouldn’t acknowledge her in public once they returned home.
His reasons sounded legitimate. But what if there was more to it? What if this was only ... this. Wonderful but brief?
Alex felt an ache in the back of her throat and swallowed it down.
He was her Viking.
He had given her hope for a future that might not be spent alone.
He didn’t want anything from her other than her.
Intimacy, laughter ... sharing ideas. Playing in the snow.
Fighting over jigsaw puzzle pieces and cooking really awful meals together.
He wasn’t there because of her wealth. Emasculating him wasn’t something she thought she could possibly do.
Only maybe that was where she was wrong.
Perhaps the opinion of others did bother him.
Alex tried not to think about the statistics of her ever achieving a truly compatible partner.
No one was more versed on how unlikely it was for Alexandrea Stone to find loving happiness.
The higher a woman’s IQ, the higher the bank account, their position in business, the less likely a man could overcome all those facts and stick around.
She squeezed her eyes closed and tried to rid her mind of her dark thoughts.
Doubting their relationship into failure was a real possibility.
The truth was, she was well acquainted with sensing a man pulling away.
If that happened, she’d end things before allowing him to hurt her.
She felt a tear fall from her eye, despite how hard she tried to hold it back. She wanted him to be her Viking. She wanted the love that was blooming in her chest to be given a chance to grow.
Her eyes drifted closed, and she forced her thoughts to more pleasant images.
Emilio pressed the barrel of his gun into Alexandrea’s temple.
Fear gripped Hawk so hard and fast he couldn’t catch his breath. Not Alex.
He promised to protect her.
Emilio yelled at Hawk in Spanish. Every word he understood. “Digame! Dime el nombre de tu espía, o la mataré.” Tell me. Tell me the name of your spy, or I will kill her.
“ Help me, Hawk. ”
Emilio’s eyes hardened.
Hawk yelled.
The gun exploded.
Alex slid to the floor.
Hawk rolled off the bed, hit the floor, and was standing with his gun in front of him before his eyes came into focus.
Alex stood there, hands in the air. “It’s me. Hawk, it’s me!”
“Jesus, fuck.” He lowered his weapon and dropped it on the bed.
His hands shaking.
He’d fallen asleep.
He’d fucking fallen asleep.
Hawk heard Alex’s breathing over his own. “Oh, God. What was ... oh, God.”
He walked around the bed and gathered her in his arms.
“I’m sorry. Fuck, Alexandrea. I’m so sorry.”
Her body shook so hard her teeth rattled. “You were thrashing around. Speaking in Spanish. I tried to wake you.”
Hawk crushed her head to his chest.
She wasn’t dead.
Her body wasn’t lifeless on the floor of a Guatemalan jungle.
Only he was the one that held a gun on her.
All week Hawk managed to watch her fall asleep and then sneak out of the room. He caught his sleep on the sofa in the living room. Ready to plead insomnia and his desire to not wake her.
An excuse he used twice. Though most nights, Alex slept like the dead.
He pulled away and looked her in the eye. “I’m sorry.”
“You scared me.”
“I’d never hurt you.” How could he promise that?
She nodded and let him hold her.
At an altitude of twenty-six thousand feet, Alex broke the silence that had plagued both of them since they’d left the cabin.
Hawk had left her to sleep alone after his nightmare. Sleep that didn’t come until dawn had started to break.
From the look on Hawk’s face, he hadn’t slept either.
His apology followed what felt like self-loathing.
Alex had no doubt that the nightmare had caused his reaction. Not that her memory would let her forget the blankness in his eyes before he realized where he was and what he was doing.
Then it dawned on her ...
“This has happened before,” she said without preamble. “Your nightmare.”
Hawk glanced at her and didn’t deny it.
“It’s why I never once woke up with you by my side.”
“Alex, I—”
“Did you even sleep in my bed?”
He looked away.
She shook her head. “I thought it was me. That maybe sleeping beside me was too intimate.”
“It’s not you. It’s not that.”
She leaned forward. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to scare you.”
She huffed a forced laugh. “Too late.”
He turned back to the window. “We all have our baggage. This is mine.”
“Your baggage is deadly if you sleep next to a gun,” she argued.
“It won’t happen again.”
She fell back in her chair. “Because you won’t sleep with a gun? Or you won’t sleep next to me?”
He didn’t answer.
“What ... that’s it? You won’t give me the chance to help you with this?”
“It’s not your cross to bear.”
“You protecting me isn’t your cross either, yet here you are.”
“That’s different,” he replied.
“How?”
He didn’t answer.
She paused. “Because I pay you?”
Her words looked like a physical blow across his face. “It has never been about the pay.”
“Then how is it different, Hawk?”
He refused to answer.
Emotion swelled in her chest. “I thought maybe we had something good going here.”
“Alex.”
She lifted a hand in the air and undid her seat belt. “Save it.”
Alex moved to the back of the plane and put the only distance she could between them.
The bedroom on the plane was the perfect place to get through the time left of the flight.