Chapter 8
eight
“You’re mad at me.”
Cordy tried to ignore Chance as he whispered into her ear. It wasn’t easy because her body did funny things when he was that close.
They were at birth class number two, huddling together in the hallway during the break period. She hadn’t said much to him tonight beyond hello, pretending to be absorbed in the discussion of early labor signs. Even now, she was jotting things down to avoid talking to him.
Not that she was jealous of him and Pansy Lawler—not at all. She knew he was a tomcat, and she had no hold on him. They had a platonic partnership, that was all.
No, the reason she had said little was because she was concentrating. All this early labor stuff was very important.
“I’m not.” Okay, Cordy’s prissy tone wasn’t selling it. She forced herself to laugh. “Why would I be mad?”
“Because you saw me go home with Pansy the other night.”
Ooh, just mentioning it made Cordy want to grind her teeth. Which she didn’t let herself do, because she wasn’t jealous.
“You’re not my boyfriend.” Cordy forced herself to focus on contraction timing. Ten minutes, she wrote. Stay home. “You don’t owe me anything.”
“You think I’m a ho.”
Something about the word ho coming out of that cowboy’s mouth made her want to snort-giggle despite her mood. “I’m a bartender. I’ve seen things that would shock even you. So no, I don’t think you’re a… a…” If Cordy said it, she’d bust up laughing, so she didn’t.
“But you’re still mad.”
Chance watched her steadily. As he did, Cordy realized… “You don’t like that, do you? Having someone be mad at you?”
That caught him off guard. He flinched away from her. “No one does.”
“Yeah, but you pretend everything is fine and nothing bothers you. But having someone not think you’re the best guy ever… that really does bother you.”
Chance’s expression closed off. Wasn’t cold, wasn’t mean, it was just… blank. He’d pulled far away from her. “I guess,” he said stonily. “Doesn’t seem that remarkable.”
After that, he let her write her notes in peace. Although it didn’t feel like peace. She was achingly aware of the bad mood radiating off him. Same as hers probably was.
She’d clearly touched a nerve, and Cordy found she didn’t like it. Not that Chance was angry at her exactly, but she missed his easygoing charm. Tight-lipped Chance wasn’t much fun.
As they filed back into the classroom, Jaycee waved at Cordy from their shared table. Cordy smiled back despite her mood—Jaycee’s happiness was hard to resist.
“Did you finish the invitations?” Cordy asked as she took her seat. Jaycee was trying to get her baby shower invitations done during the breaks.
“Yes.” Jaycee triumphantly brandished a heavy envelope at Cordy. “This is for you. And Chance. I know you’re not together -together, but you’re invited together.”
Cordy slowly took the envelope. The paper was so nice it felt like fine linen. “You’re asking me to your baby shower?”
“Yeah,” Jaycee said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Cordy wondered if this was the first baby shower Chance had ever been invited to. It was certainly her first.
“That would be great, thank you. I’ll be there,” Cordy said.
“I know you’ve probably already had yours since you’re at thirty-six weeks,” Jaycee said. “We’re leaving ours kind of late. What was the best thing you got?”
“Um…” Cordy had never felt so tongue-tied in her life. She was a bartender, for heaven’s sake; she’d dealt with more awkward moments than this one. “Um, I didn’t have one. A shower.”
The expression on Jaycee’s face was a mix of shock, horror, and pity. It made Cordy’s stomach drop. Cordy knew she didn’t need a baby shower, but still… she thought about it sometimes in between worrying about everything else. It would be nice to have a celebration for her baby.
But the Saxons weren’t going to plan it, and Cordy’s mom didn’t even know she was pregnant. A baby shower wasn’t happening.
Chance was like a statue next to her. Cordy didn’t know what he was thinking. She kind of didn’t want to, especially if it was about how sad it was that she hadn’t had a party.
“It’s okay,” Cordy assured Jaycee. “What are you hoping to get at yours?”
Jaycee tried to wipe the pitying look off her face but didn’t quite get there. “I guess you don’t have anyone here to throw you a shower.” Her tone was stricken. “I didn’t think of that.”
“It’s okay,” Cordy said again.
Gareth put his arm around Jaycee’s shoulders and stared down Cordy like she’d intentionally upset his wife. “Hon, it’s fine, you don’t have to have a shower. They’ll still let you take the baby home from the hospital.”
“Of course,” Jaycee said with forced brightness. “Sorry, I put my foot in my mouth sometimes.”
That made Cordy feel awful. “Honestly, it’s fine.” She tried to think of how to defuse this, but luckily, Ms. Reston called them to order.
The rest of the class passed quickly. Cordy’s hand ached by the end from all the note-taking. She gave a brief goodbye to Jaycee and Gareth, both looking as wiped as she felt, and made a beeline for her car.
Chance followed close behind, never saying a word. That was fine with her.
Her car was so close. Maybe Chance wouldn’t say anything, and she could get out of here without addressing the Pansy situation or her lack of a baby shower.
“When were you going to tell me you’re getting evicted?”
Cordy whipped her head around. “How did you know? Did Glenn tell you?”
Fear slithered through her. If everyone knew, then the Saxons did too. Not that she was ashamed, because this wasn’t her fault, but it would be one more thing they could hold against her.
She’d been hoping to find a new place quickly without everyone in town knowing. But how was she supposed to do that in a town like Star Crossed Springs? Everyone knew everyone else’s business the moment it happened. If she put a flyer up on the Donut Palace bulletin board, it would be news the instant she pushed the thumbtack into the cork.
What Cordy wouldn’t give to be in a big, impersonal city right now.
“No,” Chance said, “he didn’t tell me. I heard Justin was coming home, and I put two and two together. Justin is the laziest bastard ever, and Glenn always falls for his BS, so of course Glenn is giving Justin the apartment. How long do you have?”
Cordy’s back was locked up tight with anger. “I don’t like that you can guess all these things about me.”
“Not about you—about Justin. It’s a small town; everyone hears everything, and I’ve known Justin and his dad my whole life. I didn’t have to guess how this would go down. I imagine Glenn is putting Justin back behind the bar, right?”
Cordy nodded. No point saying anything when Chance already knew everything.
“How long did he give you?”
“Four weeks. But the baby is due then.”
Chance shook his head. “God, Glenn can be such an ass. Kicking out a pregnant lady so his idiot son can have a place to stay.”
“He’s not entirely bad,” she said. “Of course Justin is going to come first with him.” She set a hand on her belly as she said it.
“So you’ll be jobless and homeless when the baby comes?”
Cordy full-body flinched as that hit her. Oh boy, she would be, wouldn’t she? Her chest felt like it was closing in on her. She couldn’t catch her breath. If she couldn’t find a place in time and if Glenn didn’t hold her job for her like he’d promised, and she couldn’t just move away from here and take the baby from?—
“Shit.” Chance spit that out. It jerked Cordy out of her spiraling thoughts. “That was rude. Sorry. But do you have somewhere lined up? I’m not asking to meddle, only to help.”
Her body was still locked up tight, hot and cold shivers running over her skin. Help. It was like the word didn’t make any sense to her.
“Are you okay?” Chance sounded worried. Close to scared.
Cordy tried to nod but ended up shaking her head instead. “I think… I think I’m having a panic attack.”
Immediately, Chance hooked his arm around her, tucking her tightly against him. He was warm and solid and felt… he felt good.
“All right,” he said soothingly. “It’s all right. Tell me what you need me to do.”
“I don’t know.” Her teeth started chattering. Chance held her tighter. “This has never happened to me before.”
“We need to get you to a doctor.”
“No!” Cordy found the strength to grab his arm and hold on. “Don’t tell a doctor. This is a mental illness, right? Panic attacks? They could take the baby away if they think I’m crazy.”
“You’re not crazy.” His tone was gruff. “You’re in a terrible situation.”
“I’ve been trying to do everything right, but it all goes wrong.” The shivers had slowed, but Cordy couldn’t stop the sudden flow of words. Or emotion. “First, Reed dying and then his family cutting me off and not having a partner for the class and then finally losing my home…”
She sucked in a shuddering breath, her words dying.
Even with Chance’s arm around her, Cordy had never felt more alone. It wasn’t something she was used to. She was independent; she never got lonely.
But this one time she needed someone to be there for her, and no one was. Not her parents, not the father of her baby, not the grandparents of her baby. No one.
“You’re doing great,” Chance said fiercely. “I’m genuinely fucking amazed by how strong you are. The baby isn’t even here yet, and you’re already better than most moms I know.”
“How many moms do you know?” she asked with a watery chuckle. Some moms came out to the Swing Inn on weekends to let off steam, but they didn’t go home with Chance Kessal. Cordy got the impression Chance would turn them down even if they asked.
He had his own code of honor when it came down to it. A tomcat’s code of honor, but still. It was why he sat through these labor classes.
“Thanks,” she said softly. “Sorry I lost it.”
“It’s no problem.”
She heard him swallow. His arm was heavy and solid around her shoulders. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest.
“You could…” Chance cleared his throat roughly. “You could move in with me.”
Cordy almost burst out laughing because he was so clearly reluctant. Chance couldn’t in good conscience let a pregnant woman live on the streets, but he was also dreading a yes .
“I appreciate the offer, but I couldn’t,” she said, saving them both. “You know why.”
“I don’t, so why not?”
You’re a tomcat. “Because people will think we’re together.”
“And that would be bad because…” One corner of his mouth ticked up. “Because I’m a ho.”
Cordy didn’t laugh because it wasn’t funny. She’d hurt his feelings, although he tried to hide it with a joke. It was pretty crappy of her to repay his kindness like this.
“You’re not a ho,” she said. “But you don’t want a pregnant lady and eventually a crying newborn in your house.” Cordy forced herself to move away from him and his comforting arm.
Chance’s mouth tightened. “I don’t want you out on the street.”
“I won’t be.”
“Okay then, where are you moving to?” When she didn’t answer right away, he went on. “Because I know this town and how hard it is to find a rental. Did you post online? Or did you put up a flyer at the Donut Palace?”
“I’ve been meaning to,” Cordy said. She had been, but when she remembered putting up the flyer for the labor coach and how that had gone she’d lost her motivation. “I will. Tomorrow.”
“Or you could say yes to me,” Chance said, “and your problem is solved. I’ve got two extra bedrooms, one for you, one for the baby. They’re on the opposite side of the house from my room. You’d have your own bathroom, too.”
“How big is your house?”
“Three bedrooms, two baths, built-in laundry, and a wrap-around porch.” Pride puffed up his voice. “I built it myself.”
Cordy was impressed. “I didn’t know you could do that.”
“Your noodle dog can come, too.”
It was tempting. Very tempting. She liked Chance and even if she found him attractive, it wasn’t like she could act on it. Chance wasn’t going to make a pass at a pregnant woman living with him. He was one night only, guaranteed.
Cordy’s instincts told her to say no. She couldn’t depend on anyone but herself, and Chance had already done too much for her. Owing him even more than she already did would be wrong. She had no way to repay him.
No, she should keep him right where he was and no closer. She’d find a place on her own somehow.
She sighed, the air leaking out of her. It all felt wrong, though. She was so tired. Not like herself. Cordy hadn’t felt like Cordy in… months. She’d twisted herself into an exhausted pretzel trying to do everything right, and everything was still going wrong.
Before the baby, Cordy would have looked at her situation and decided it was time to move on. The world was filled with interesting places, people to meet, bartending jobs to take, and funky apartments to rent—life was too short not to see as many of them as she could.
Heck, she might have even taken Chance up on his offer for a place to stay. Cordy was desperately curious about what his house was like, what he was like when he wasn’t doing cowboy stuff or picking up women in bars.
She used to satisfy her curiosity, act on her whims, and actually live . The woman she used to be would have said yes to his offer without a second thought.
So when she opened her mouth and said, “Actually, I’ve changed my mind,” it didn’t feel odd. It felt right for the first time in a long time.