Chapter 15
fifteen
“You ready to have some fun?” Chance asked as he tucked Cordy’s hand into the crook of his arm.
Cordy glanced nervously around the crowd at Third Thursday. Stories about her and Chance were already running through town, thanks to Jaycee, but she didn’t want to add to the gossip. She and Chance might be living together, and they might be sleeping together, but they weren’t together together. They were…
Well, she didn’t know. Chance was her partner in practically every way that counted, but Cordy knew their situation wouldn’t last. It couldn’t, not with them as commitment-shy as they were.
And if thinking about the inevitable end made her feel sad, that was her problem. Cordy knew better than to pin her hopes on someone else.
“Cordy?” Chance tugged her around to face him, worry in his eyes. “You okay?”
“Yep.” She made herself smile. Everything would be fine. “I’m ready to have fun. And get a funnel cake. You promised me.”
He watched her as if he didn’t quite believe her. Then he started walking again. “You’ll get your funnel cake, don’t worry.”
Third Thursday was as busy as the last time Cordy had attended, with the town square packed with people, booths, and noise. Everyone was smiling as they wandered through the crowd. The band played a pop-punk ballad, and a few small kids were bopping along as they clung to their parents’ hands.
“I didn’t know they knew this song,” she told Chance. “When they play in the bar, it’s usually country songs.”
“Because that’s what Glenn likes. The Warblers can play anything. They’re famous for it. I once heard them do two full hours of Depression-era hobo songs.”
“Wow.” Cordy hadn’t even known there were hobo songs, much less two hours’ worth. “They must be talented.”
“These are actually The Warblers: The Next Generation,” Chance explained. “Jack started the band some forty years ago with some friends. And then his son, Hollis, joined with his friends about ten years ago. Hollis is a big Star Trek fan, so they changed to that name.”
“That’s cute.” Cordy tapped her toe to the song. “They should play this in the bar.”
A little girl hanging on to her mother’s hand was staring at Cordy, her eyes wide. Kids seemed especially fascinated by Cordy’s pregnant belly, often looking even when their parents warned them to stop.
Cordy smiled and gave the girl a small wave. The way the girl hung onto her mother’s hand made Cordy wistful. It was like the girl’s whole world was anchored there.
Cordy hoped her baby would hold onto her hand the same way.
When Cordy waved, the little girl’s eyes got even bigger. She buried her face into her mother’s leg, one brown eye peeking at Cordy.
It was so cute that Cordy had to stifle her laughter. The little girl wanted to stare but didn’t want Cordy to notice.
The girl’s mother caught Cordy’s eye. She gave a sympathetic smile that said, Kids, am I right?
That smile drew Cordy in, made her heart swell. With just a look, that mom told Cordy she belonged. She was part of the sisterhood.
The mom bent over her daughter, asking a question. The girl looked to Cordy, then back to her mom. Her mom nodded encouragingly.
The girl raised a hand and waved shyly back at Cordy.
Cordy grinned and waved so hard it felt like her hand might fall off. She’d made a friend. Two friends, actually.
Chance glanced over, wondering what she was doing. “Oh, there’s Helena.” He waved, too.
Helena’s eyes went wide when she saw who was with Cordy. Cordy could almost see the stories the other woman was now spinning in her head.
“She knows you, doesn’t she?” Cordy asked neutrally.
“She’s shocked to see us together because… well, you know why.” Chance gave her a sheepish look that made her heart melt despite her misgivings.
Chance had never lied to her about what kind of man he was. If anything, he was too hard on himself.
So Cordy lifted her chin, looked Helena dead in the eyes, tucked her hand more firmly into Chance’s arm, and smiled brilliantly. As if they were old friends and Cordy was so happy to see her again.
Helena blinked, her mouth open. She looked from Cordy to Chance, her gaze running over him. Slowly, she raised one eyebrow.
When Helena turned back to Cordy, her expression was very different. You go, girl! I bet he’s a fun handful.
Cordy let herself preen because she was having fun. She gave Helena a conspiratorial look. He is, and I am having the best time.
Helena gave one last approving nod, then headed off with her daughter. Cordy resolved to sit next to Helena in the Parents’ Corner the next time she was in the Donut Palace.
Oblivious to what had just happened, Chance nudged Cordy along. “Come on. We still have to get your funnel cake.”
They didn’t find the funnel cake but ran into Ruby at the snow cone booth. She had a red solo cup in her hand and a butterfly painted across her cheek.
“One of my old students has a face painting booth set up,” Ruby explained as she hugged Cordy. Chance didn’t get a hug.
“I like it.” In fact, Cordy felt like getting something done, too. Why not? “Where’s the booth?”
“That way. Ooh, are you going?”
“Yes.”
That made Chance snort-laugh, but he caught himself when Cordy frowned. “Sure, no, that’s a great idea.”
Ruby raised her eyebrows at Chance. “You should get one too.”
Cordy ended up with a toucan on her cheek, and Chance got a panda on his hand. Ruby’s student was a high schooler raising money to buy art supplies, so Cordy was happy to give the girl a big tip.
“Why a panda?” she asked Chance as they continued through the booths.
“Because that was the other one you wanted before you settled on the toucan.” He held up his hand. The panda had a silly grin, its round body dancing as Chance flexed his fingers. “So this way, you got both of them.”
“I swear,” Ruby said, “the funnel cake guy is usually right here. I hope he didn’t skip this month.”
“He better not have,” Chance growled.
“Guys, I don’t need a funnel cake,” Cordy said. “Honestly, I shouldn’t even be eating it.”
“You want one, you get one.” Chance looked around. “Where is that guy?”
Ruby went very still next to Cordy. “Holy crap,” she whispered. “That can’t be her.”
“Who?” Cordy looked around. “Who are you talking about?”
“Don’t look,” Ruby hissed.
“Look at what?” Chance asked.
He went as stiff as Ruby when he saw whoever it was.
“Shit,” he muttered under his breath. “Shit. Never thought she’d come back.”
“Sherry broke her hip,” Ruby said. “I haven’t had time to check in on her, but Ramona went over. I guess Dakota came back because of that.”
“Who is Dakota?” Cordy asked. “And who’s Sherry?”
“Sherry is Sherry Creswell,” Ruby explained. “I don’t think you’ve ever met her unless it was at the Donut Palace. Dakota is Sherry’s granddaughter.”
There was a woman in the crowd with long, dark brown hair with her back to them.
“That’s her?” Cordy asked.
Ruby nodded. “Dakota is also…”
“The only woman Lane ever loved.” Chance’s expression was distant as he finished what Ruby couldn’t say.
“Really?” Cordy’s eyes widened. Lane was the brother who never came home. And as a Kessal man, she knew he had issues when it came to love. “He left because of her?”
“Basically,” Chance said. “He wanted to get away from Dad as soon as he could. But she wouldn’t leave with him, and he’s never spoken her name since. At least not while he’s sober.”
“Dakota hasn’t been home in three years,” Ruby said.
“Neither has Lane,” Chance said.
Cordy didn’t quite understand. Dakota had refused to leave town with Lane, but she’d left on her own? And neither one of them had bothered to come back to visit after? “But why?”
Neither Chance nor Ruby answered Cordy. Maybe the reasons were mysterious to them, too.
The woman turned toward them as they discussed her. She was young, about early twenties, pretty, and clearly upset to see them. Her face was a mask of shock as she came closer.
“Is Lane here?” she asked without even a greeting. “Did he see me?”
“He’s not here,” Chance said. “He’s never here.”
That didn’t seem to ease Dakota’s mind. “Don’t tell him you saw me. Please.”
“I won’t.” Chance’s mouth tightened. “He never even says your name.”
In spite of how bold that was, Chance’s tone was gentle.
Ruby sent Chance a sharp look, then put her arm around Dakota. “Honey, let’s go sit down. Tell me about your grandma. How is she doing? I’ve been meaning to get over there. I’m so glad you’re back home.” She jerked her chin at Chance. “Go get us some lemonade, please. Cordy, you’ll be okay?”
All Cordy could do was nod. She was too stunned to do anything else.
Dakota had looked wrecked.
Sometimes, Ruby looked wrecked.
And they had both loved Kessal men.
Chance had said love ruined Kessal men, and Cordy believed him. But she hadn’t considered what it did to the women they loved.
Was that part of why Chance refused to commit to anyone? Because he’d seen what had happened to Dakota and Ruby? He was always so careful, not only of Cordy but of all the women he’d been with.
Suddenly, a funnel cake didn’t sound so good. She wanted a tall, cold bottle of water and time to absorb this.
But when Cordy turned around to find that, she realized her day was about to get even worse.
Mr. and Mrs. Saxon were standing right behind her. Hailey was with them.
Cordy went stone still, cold prickles running down her back and up her arms. What was she supposed to do? Say?
The baby is the size of a pineapple. That was all that came to her.
The Saxons didn’t look so shocked. Their expressions were wary, closed off, but they weren’t surprised to see her.
Had they come over to her? Did they want to talk? They looked almost like they did.
Cordy swallowed down the knot in her throat. “Hi.” She put her hands on the side of her belly so it didn’t look like she was protecting herself from them. “How are you?”
“We’re…” Mr. Saxon looked at his wife, then his daughter. “We’re okay.”
He said okay the same way he’d describe something he didn’t want to do again. It was… okay. I guess.
“I’m glad to hear that,” Cordy said as if he’d meant it in a good way. “I really am.”
Mrs. Saxon opened her mouth. It would be the first thing she’d said to Cordy since the funeral.
Cordy waited. Mrs. Saxon looked at Cordy’s belly.
“Oh.” Cordy patted her bump. “The baby is doing well. Perfectly healthy. The size of a pineapple.”
Mrs. Saxon nodded. “That’s… that’s big.”
Cordy had forgotten how soft Mrs. Saxon’s voice was. Her sentences always died out instead of ending, making conversations with her odd because Cordy was never sure when Mrs. Saxon was done talking.
Apparently, she was now. “Yes,” Cordy said into the growing quiet. “It is. Very big.”
Hailey nodded. If she said the baby was big, too, then they’d all be in agreement. Total, meaningless, silly agreement.
The way Hailey nodded caught at Cordy—for a moment, Hailey looked very much like Reed.
Cordy’s heart stuttered, and the baby kicked. It was like the baby knew.
“How’s your new place?” Hailey asked. “Ruby mentioned you were moving.”
“Oh yeah, it was so nice of her to help me.” Cordy leaped on that like it would escape if she didn’t. “It made moving so much easier. And…” Her face warmed. “Chance was so nice to give me a place to stay. I’ll move once the baby is born, of course I will—this is only temporary. But I don’t have to worry about looking for an apartment right now. Because he’s such a good friend. ”
The moment she said It, Cordy knew she’d made it too weird. The strangled way friend came out made Chance sound like he was very much more than her friend.
She was stuck with these people for the rest of her life, and she could barely make conversation with them. God, what was she supposed to do?
If she were in Estonia, none of this would be happening. No one would know her.
No one would care.
Instead of comforting her, it made her sad.
“Well,” Hailey said awkwardly.
Mrs. Saxon’s nostrils flared.
Mr. Saxon cleared his throat. “Good. We’re glad to hear it. And…” His mouth worked silently. “And thank you for the updates.”
“I’m happy to do it,” Cordy said, grateful for the change in subject. “I want you guys to know what’s going on.” Even if you act like you don’t want to know.
“Mom was going through some of our old clothes”—Hailey held out her hands like she was prompting Mrs. Saxon to say something—“and she found… You found…”
“Baby clothes.” Mrs. Saxon took a shaky breath. “Some toys.” A hard swallow you could have heard halfway across the square. “I have Reed’s…” She gasped, choking on the words.
Then she collapsed into loud, body-shaking sobs.
Everything inside Cordy felt like it was crumbling into dust. She hated this. Hated it. She knew Mrs. Saxon was grieving, but this felt like an attack. An accusation.
Mrs. Saxon’s tears were a finger pointed straight at Cordy, accusing her of surviving when Reed hadn’t.
The older woman buried her face in her hands. “Oh, Reed,” she moaned through her fingers.
Mr. Saxon’s expression sagged. He stared at Cordy like he expected her to do something.
It made everything about the situation a thousand times worse.
“Mom.” Hailey’s voice was somehow sharp and comforting all at once. “Mom, not here. Please.”
Hailey’s gaze met Cordy’s on the word please, like she was begging Cordy to understand.
Cordy didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry? She’d already said it so many times to the Saxons. What did these people want from her?
“Dad, can you help me here?” Hailey handed Mrs. Saxon over to him. “I’m sorry,” she said to Cordy. “We’ll talk soon.”
And then they were gone. Cordy had no idea what was going on—Hailey was sorry? She wanted to talk? That was new.
Cordy soon realized everyone was staring. It was like the entire event had come to a standstill to watch the drama.
She wrapped her arms around her belly, her loneliness a great empty echoing pit inside her. The entire town surrounded her, but she’d never felt so alone. And she used to like being alone!
She wanted to go home, to climb the stairs up to her little loft, her safe place from all these people, and shut the door and shut them out. But she couldn’t. She didn’t live there anymore; it wasn’t hers.
If Cordy had left this place, none of this would have happened. She’d be making a fresh start, the thing she was best at. Not standing in the middle of a town festival wanting to cry her eyes out.
She blinked hard, trying to clear her vision. Suddenly, Ruby was by her side.
“Hey, honey, I saw it all.” Ruby wrapped her arm around Cordy and squeezed tight. She handed Cordy a tissue and rubbed Cordy’s upper arm. “I’ve got you. Let’s go find someplace away from all these assholes.”
She glared at the crowd. Some of them actually looked ashamed.
“You’re a teacher,” Cordy found herself saying. “You can’t swear .”
“Oh, sweetheart,” Ruby said with infinite patience. “I’m married to Quint. Of course I swear. Come sit down before you fall down.”
Cordy let Ruby pull her along, too numb to do anything else.
“Where’s Dakota?” she asked.
Ruby waved that off. “Don’t worry about her.”
As they were moving through the now-thinning crowd, Jaycee appeared. “What an awful woman! Are you okay?”
She grabbed Cordy in a fierce hug, almost knocking the wind out of her. If it wasn’t for both their oversized bellies, Jaycee might have done it.
Cordy wasn’t sure what to say. One moment, she’d been entirely alone, and now she had two defenders? “Um, I think I’m fine?”
She wasn’t, but it seemed like the right thing to say.
“You’re white as a sheet,” Ruby said.
“Hey!” Pierce ran toward her like she was the opposing quarterback, and he had an opening to tackle her. “Cordy! You…” He slowed as he saw everyone around her. “Hey, Mrs. Kessal,” he said to Ruby, immediately looking five years younger. “How’s it going?”
“Pierce.” Ruby’s voice went into teacher mode. “Go get Cordy a lemonade. A cold one.”
“No, I’m fine.”
Pierce was already running off as fast as he could. What was a lemonade going to do?
“Trust me, it will make you feel better,” Ruby said. “Now sit.”
Jaycee plopped down on the bench Ruby had found, patting the spot next to her. “Come on.”
So Cordy sat, feeling even more flabbergasted than when Mrs. Saxon started crying.
Sam walked up to her, concern written on his face. Oh goodness, even he had seen what had happened?
Janine was next to him, a brown paper bag in her hand. It looked like Sam had convinced her to come with him to Third Thursday. Cordy smiled despite how awful she felt.
“Those people had no business…” Sam spluttered to a halt. “They… They ought to… They can’t treat you like that.”
Cordy was too stunned to answer him. She was surrounded by people who were angry for her. Who wanted her to be treated the way she wanted to be treated. The usual answers she gave were there on her lips— They’re grieving, it’s hard for them too— but didn’t come out.
“Thank you,” was what she said. She looked at everyone. “Thank you so much.”
Pierce came running back as fast as he’d taken off, his chest heaving with effort. A plastic cup of lemonade was crumpled in his hand. “I went… as fast… as I could… is she… okay?”
“She’ll be fine.” Ruby pressed the cold lemonade into Cordy’s hand. “You don’t have to thank us. Drink some of that before you pass out.”
Cordy didn’t feel anywhere close to passing out. At first, she had, but when they clustered all around her, she felt… strong.
“I’m okay.” Her voice gathered power. “I really am.”
Jaycee dabbed at Cordy’s cheeks, wiping up the last of the tears. Cordy didn’t even realize she’d been crying. “There,” Jaycee said. “That’s better.”
Someone was coming toward them, large and wearing boots. When Cordy looked up, Chance was there.
His expression was stark. Even so, Cordy’s entire body loosened, relief rushing through her. He was here. She’d be safe.
“I talked to Hailey,” he said tightly. “It won’t happen again.”
Cordy was so glad to see him, it took her a moment to realize what he’d done. “You talked to them? What did you say?”
“Nothing that they didn’t need to hear.” Chance spoke through a tense jaw. “You don’t have to take shit from them constantly. You fight so hard for this baby… they need to recognize that. They don’t get to treat you like they have been. It’s done now. ”
That sent shivers down her spine—good shivers. Commanding, protective Chance was hot. That look he was wearing filled up places inside her she didn’t even know were empty.
“They’re upset,” she said in a weak, instinctive protest. “They’re grieving.”
“So are you. They need to learn how to act like adults.”
Ruby nodded vigorously. “Exactly. I’ll talk to Hailey too.”
Jaycee nodded, too, but with less force. “Sweetie, they kind of… suck.”
They… they really did. They were her baby’s grandparents, and she had to have some kind of relationship with them—hopefully a decent one—but it was true.
Cordy felt her whole body sag. Admitting that to herself—finally—didn’t feel good. She felt worn out.
Before she could straighten up, Chance was there, lifting her into his arms. Cordy was so shocked all she could do was grab at his shoulder.
He scooped me right up! Giddy waves rolled through her.
“We’re going home,” he growled. “And getting away from all these people.”
Her chest swelled because getting scooped up and swept away from her haters was the best.
“I’m all right,” she said, even as she curled into his chest.
“I want to get you home.” His tone was oddly tender. “I didn’t think this would happen. Shouldn’t have left you alone. The Saxons wouldn’t have done that if I’d been there.”
He was right. If any of the people standing next to her had been there, the Saxons wouldn’t have approached her. They’d taken advantage of her being alone.
Except it hadn’t started off bad. Hailey and Mr. Saxon had been trying. And so had Mrs. Saxon, kind of, until it had all gone wrong.
Still, it was nice to know she wasn’t alone. People were rooting for her, like Chance had said.
“We can stay,” she told Chance. She set her head against his shoulder because she was tired, and it fit there so nicely.
“No, let’s go home.”
Cordy was aware of everyone’s expressions then. Ruby was watching with wide eyes but thinned lips as if she wasn’t quite sure if she ought to be glad or worried. Jaycee’s mouth twitched as she held back her grin. Sam’s expression said he didn’t think Chance was good enough for Cordy. Pierce was the only one looking at Chance, and the hero worship in the teenager’s eyes glowed like a second sun.
Cordy supposed Chance had earned that after today. Her own expression must be similar.
“Okay,” she said, her heart feeling too big, “home it is.”
“Oh hell,” Chance muttered. “I forgot. Pierce! You up for one more run?”
“Yes!” Pierce practically saluted.
“Get Cordy a funnel cake. Bring it to my truck.”
If Chance hadn’t been holding her, Cordy would have swooned. After all that, he remembered.
She realized then that if she wasn’t careful, she would fall right in love with this man.