Chapter 11 #2
“Come on. You work too hard, Alexia. Being overworked leads to added stress, which can lead to mistakes or in certain cases, a break with reality. The cops are handling Ms. Boudreaux’s disappearance. Let them do their jobs. Unless you decided to make a career change.”
While she was smiling, I could easily tell she was concerned. “I assure you I haven’t experienced a break with reality. Just a moment of reliving the past.”
“Which is completely understandable, but you are one of the hardest working people I know. There is nothing to feel guilty about. You did the right thing in naming him.”
Yes, I was a hard worker, but for a reason.
To keep my soul from being lost to the swirling darkness I’d experienced before.
While the bastard had wondered if I dreamed in color, his last words to me had been about dying.
They’d remained with me, a constant reminder of the level of control he’d had over my psyche.
Leaning my head against the wall, I realized Betty wore the same expression as Maverick.
Cautiously concerned with more than a dash of anxiety.
“Survivor’s guilt? Maybe, but the questions burning a hole in my mind don’t require binge watching overzealous television series and does anyone actually eat bonbons any longer? ”
“They do if they need instant comfort away from monsters.” We both laughed. “I’ve looked at Wells’ file. He’s a guilty man. You do not need to lose sleep at night worrying about whether the FBI captured the wrong man. They didn’t.”
My thoughts drifted for the umpteenth time to Maverick.
My never-wrong instincts told me he was having me followed.
While he was a talented author, he sucked at certain investigative skills.
I certainly know the difference between private investigators and monsters.
The shoddy dressers typically drove shitty vehicles and were terrible at keeping out of sight.
In my mind, they’d always been spy wannabes.
With monsters, you only developed a feeling of being watched, the creepy-crawlies that almost never left, even if there was no one lurking in the shadows.
In fact, it was beginning to be a tiny bit annoying, although I did appreciate his continued interest in my safety.
“Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside while we live.” I’d never forgotten the phrase.
Betty’s silence was rare. She had an odd look in her eyes, which almost immediately she blinked away.
“Where did that come from?” she managed a full minute later, obviously shaken by my tone as well as the phrase itself. I wasn’t known for being a poet. Far from it. I was direct, always to the point, which had garnered me a ruthless reputation.
Or as opposing counsel of the male persuasion would say, I was a bitch. A compliment in every book owned and sworn to by a female in any profession.
“That’s the last thing Samuel said to me before he left that infamous evening less than an hour before the FBI agent discovered my location.
The bastard’s favorite quote from Norman Cousins.
Whoever the hell that is. The Python Killer thought he was being so intelligent by quoting famous authors and even politicians. ”
A lump formed in my throat.
“Don’t do that to yourself, Alexia. Samuels was and still is a twisted man. I don’t need to tell you that. Why don’t you take a couple days off? Regroup. Allow the news of his execution to settle in your mind.”
The tone of my laughter was laced with bitterness while I glanced at my watch. “The execution isn’t scheduled for a couple weeks. Are you suggesting I stay behind locked doors until then? As you told me, he’s locked away behind thick bars of iron and can’t hurt me any longer.”
As she did when she was mildly chastising behavior, she offered one of her infamous looks. “I’m merely telling you that confronting the past, especially after surviving something so horrible is never easy. It’s perfectly acceptable to need a couple days.”
“I’ll think about it. In the meantime, I have a lot of work to do.” I moved away from my window toward my desk. “Do you have any idea why the execution was pushed up a couple years?”
“No, but why does it matter?”
“Because it would seem someone wants him executed and out of the way.” The odd look in her eyes surprised me. Had I hit on something that no one wanted to talk about?
“What else are you going through? You don’t need to sugarcoat your feelings for me.
I’ve been your friend for a long time as well as your boss.
I know when something is bothering you. Whatever is going on in your brain is much more complicated than the typical anxiety about ensuring the correct person is on death row. ”
Sighing, I stared at the picture taken with my mother and stepfather the day I’d graduated from law school.
They’d been behind me every step of the way.
“There are a few missing pieces in my brain.” As if to accentuate, I pressed the tip of my index finger to my temple.
“Time elements that don’t exactly fit together.
That troubles both the victim and the professional. ”
“It’s time to let it go. Take it from someone who’s been through enough evil of her own.
You’re the person in charge of freeing your mind.
The real prison. Now, at least take the rest of the day off.
Go shopping and I don’t mean by surfing on your computer.
Have a long lunch with a friend. You do have friends at least. Right?
I’d say a hot man, but I’d know better. I don’t want to see you back here again until mid-morning tomorrow.
You got that?” While Betty’s expression was subtle, it was also powerful and clearly said crossing her wasn’t a very good idea.
“Fine. Shopping it is.” Even if I hadn’t been to an actual store in God knows how long.
“Oh, you will be attending the company’s anniversary party this Friday. Yes?”
Ugh. I’d forgotten all about it. Fifteen years in the industry was a very long time.
“This is a big deal for us. Everyone who is anyone in the field of law will be in attendance. Or they better be for the money we’re spending on caterers.
From what I understand, there are going to be some announcements.
Because of how special the occasion, the company’s board of directors is flying in from all over the country to join the celebration. ”
“The infamous men and women no one has ever met.”
Her shoulders stiffened. “Trust me. They exist and have kept our doors open. We’ve had a great year and they intend to show their gratitude. You don’t want to miss it.”
“Do you have something up your sleeve?”
She laughed. “You’ve been a shining star from the beginning. It’s time you shared in the accolades. Oh, and make certain and wear something to die for if you know what I mean. Our soirée is going to be televised.”
“Ugh. Alright. You talked me into it. I’ll be there.” As if I wanted to pretend, but life moved on.
“Good girl. You’re very much like a daughter to me. I’m so proud of you. And see? The shopping trip is necessary. Especially since you’re bringing a plus one with you.”
I could tell by the highly evocative smile on her face what she was insinuating. “I’m not interested in George from accounting, Betty. We’ve been through this before.”
“Oh, heavens no, honey. Even I know he’s well below your mental aptitude. I was thinking more along the lines of a rugged man who doesn’t mind his hero status.” Her eyes were lit up like firecrackers. She knew I’d had a conversation with Maverick.
“How did you find out?”
She took long strides toward my door, taking her time swinging her head over her shoulder. “You forget I know everyone in this town. Besides, my sister was at his signing and happened to notice you had a nice, long discussion with him.”
Exhaling, I kept the puff of air in my cheeks. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
“What if it does? Invite him to the party. Maybe you’ll be able to bypass your lonely streak.”
“I’ll have you know I have friends. Lots of them. And men are lining up at my door to ask me out. I don’t need a pity date from an ancient FBI agent.”
An overtly sexy former FBI agent.
“Uh-huh. I expect to see him. By the way. It’s perfectly acceptable for you to have a life. You can’t allow the past to keep you from exceling personally.” A haunted look crossed her face. She’d never gotten over what she’d endured all those years ago.
Maybe she was right about enjoying my life, but he’d never go for taking me to some glitzy party. I might not know a lot about the stodgy author, but that much was easy to see.
For whatever the reason, when she closed the door behind her, I felt a sense of relief.
Maybe she was right. Work had been my life, a protection that up until now had worked just fine.
Everything had changed in the last few days.
Now I had a protective detail, which couldn’t continue.
I refused to play victim twenty-four hours a day.
No matter if Maverick’s intentions were decent.
Still, I kept a brutal glare on the door while grabbing my phone, dialing the one woman who knew every gory detail about my sordid life and had never judged me. Not once.
Maybe my mood needed a little shakeup for a change.
Sandra was just the girl to do it.