31. Kennedy
I hold Cassie Lane Townsend in my arms and marvel at the beauty that is my niece. She has her mother’s eyes, but even at two days old, she has the hint of dark intensity that Remy had from the day he was born.
“You did good, big brother.”
He stands over us, watching his daughter like a hawk, with a ridiculous smile on his face.
“I know,” he preens. “She’s really something, isn’t she?”
“Her mother would like to hold her now,” Parker announces to the room as a whole. “She’s hungry, my boobs hurt, and if she’ll just eat one more time and keep it down, the nurses told me that we can go home. Finally. It’s been forever.”
I don’t want to, but I give her to her mom, but not before pressing the tiniest of kisses to her forehead. “I love you, Cassie.”
I start crying as I say it and don’t even pretend like I’m not. “I’m so frickin’ glad your momma named you Cassie, do you know that? Your auntie is gonna look after you forever too, you know that?”
She goes to her mother, completely oblivious to what I’ve said as she grabs and grunts. But it is true. That little girl won’t ever worry about anything.
“Moooom,” Nox groans as he walks into the room with Linc at his back. “Do you have to pull your boob out now?”
He covers his eyes and plops down in the chair on the other side of the room.
“You can come with me if you want, Nox.” I grab my purse, ready to head home and get some sleep finally.
“No.” He shakes his head with a smile. “I don’t wanna leave little Cassie. She needs me now. I’m her brother.”
Damn if I don’t burst into tears again at that.
“Are you okay, Auntie Kenny?”
“I’m fine,” I choke out around the sobs. “You’re just so cute, Nox. So responsible.”
He jumps out of his seat and hugs me hard. “Maybe you just need some tacos, Auntie. That always makes you feel better when you’re sad.”
“I think you’re right,” Linc says from my side with his hand on my back, rubbing in small circles. “Taco Bell on the way home?”
I sniffle, nodding. “Yeah. Tacos sound good.” Which sounds ridiculous since I’m still crying.
When I finally leave, after another two hugs from Nox and a super awkward kiss for Cassie that results in me almost being squirted by Parker’s boob, I climb into Linc’s truck and close my eyes.
I meant what I said when I promised him that he is what I want. I don’t need children to be happy. But sometimes I dream about them. Little girls with Linc’s blue eyes, clinging to their father’s leg while he tries to move around the house. Or a boy who calls me momma.
Linc pulls into the Taco Bell drive-thru and orders for me, making sure to get all of my favorites, and I look down at the diamond on my hand.
“Oh, hey, Officer Hayes.” Henley Moore, the teenager who actually may have saved my life, greets Linc in the drive-thru window. “How’s Kennedy doing?”
I stick my head forward. “I’m doing good. How are you? Did the insurance stuff get worked out? I told my insurance that I was the one at fault in the accident. I’m old, I can handle a little bit of an insurance hike.”
“Oh, yeah, it did. They just called me the other day, actually. Thank you so much for that. It’s hard enough trying to save for college and stuff, but they were going to slap on like over a hundred dollars a month for insurance after that.”
“Good,” I tell him. “You swerved to miss a moose in the road. That’s not on you.”
“Thanks, Kennedy.” Henley completely ignores Linc. “Your tacos are on me today, okay?” He holds out the bags. “Have a good one.”
“I like that kid,” I tell Linc when he pulls out into traffic. “He’s a good one.”
Linc nods. “Yeah, he is.”
He tells me everything that happened. Everything Henley did that resulted in them being able to break down the door, which is what bought me the seconds I needed to get the bat.
These tacos are the best thing I’ve had to eat in a week, and they aren’t even good. It is Taco Bell, after all. But they hit the spot, filling a hole in my stomach I didn’t realize I had.
“You ready for bed?”
I look up from my lap to see Linc standing there in pajamas a few hours later. I must have completely spaced out. Holding out my empty plate for him to take, I slide the blanket off my lap and get up.
“Yeah.” I yawn. “I don’t even remember eating dinner.”
“It’s okay.” He kisses my forehead. “I got some work done while you just sat there. It’s been a long few days with the baby getting here.”
“Yeah.” I follow him into the kitchen. “Any word on a date for Royal’s trial yet?”
“Nope,” he tells me with a sad smile. His eyes drift to my neck, where the bruises have long since healed. “But I did hear that his parents cut him off. They sent a letter to the district attorney letting the county know that they condemned his actions and didn’t raise their child to abuse women or hurt them in any way.”
I laugh, because what else is there to do at this point? They’d found the videos of his abuse. And if he videoed Mallory, too, they’ll have that murder on tape.
“Good.”
In bed, Linc holds me in his arms and rubs my back gently. “I love you, Kennedy; you know that, right?”
“Duh.” I yawn. “You put your ring on my finger and gave me half the closet. I think that’s pretty clear.”
“You have the whole closet, and you know it. Just like you have my whole heart, woman.” His heart kicks up a notch under my head, and his hands pause their perusal of my back. “I have to tell you something.”
I don’t even bother opening my eyes. There is nothing Linc can say that will take away the absolute peace I feel being in his arms.
“After the wedding…” He clears his throat. “I want you to take out your IUD.”
Silence fills the air between us.
“You don’t want kids,” I tell him. “I’m not going to do that when it would mean we could have them.”
“That’s the point.”
I open my eyes at that. He is staring down at me. When he sees my eyes, he shifts so that we are sitting up, with me in his lap facing him.
“I don’t understand.” I’ve eaten too many tacos. Or I’m sleeping. There is no way Linc changed his mind. “We haven’t talked about this at all since you said you don’t want them. I haven’t tried to change your mind. I don’t need them to be happy, Linc.”
He kisses me. “You’re talking too much. My turn, okay?”
I nod.
“You gave up everything for me. Time. The chance to fall in love with someone else. You chose me. You don’t need them, you’re right. But you deserve them. And if I’m going to be happy, really happy, I need to give you everything you want in this life. I see the way you are with babies. With Nox. And the twins. Now Cassie.”
I’m crying again. “Shut up, Linc. Don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what?” He rubs his hands down my arms.
“Don’t try to give me something that you can’t. Don’t do this if you’re going to change your mind.”
“I’m not going to. I’m in therapy, Kennedy. I’ll be in therapy forever. But life isn’t all absolutes. I thought it was. I thought I’d hurt you and any kids that we had. You’re going to be my wife, Kennedy. You’re already my life. I don’t think I could ever, in a million years, hurt you. Or any babies that we have.”
The tears are falling fast and heavy after that, and I can’t breathe.
I don’t know how much they mean to me until that moment. That small moment in time where he gives me every single thing I’ve ever wanted in my entire life. Memories of that night, our first night together, come floating back.
“I want to build a life with you,” Linc says. “I want it all. What do you say?”
I pull my shirt off, glad that I’m not wearing any underwear at all.
“What are you doing, Kennedy?” His eyes drift down to my chest, and I take advantage of his distraction to wipe the tears from my cheeks.
“Get naked, Linc.”
He doesn’t have to be ordered twice. In a tangle of limbs, he strips off his pajama pants and then slides into my body without even trying.
“You’re so ready for me.” He smiles. “Minx. Tell me.”
For a fraction of a second I freeze, and then I work through it. Linc helps me work through it. The trauma, the history.
“I love you, Linc.”
“Not what I meant.” He starts to move, and all thoughts of talking go out the window. “Kennedy,” he growls as I tighten around him. “Say it.”
“Yes,” I gasp. “Yes.”
“Good.” He leans forward and kisses me. “Let’s practice, then.” He bites my lip and then grabs my hands and lifts them over my head. When he starts to speed up, I wrap my legs around his hips and arch my back.
He groans and I begin to tremble as everything starts building toward the bliss I can feel on the other end of the line.
When I hit the biggest orgasm of my entire life, Linc stills completely. Then he starts again, furiously pounding into my body until he comes, too.
“Perfect,” I whisper. “Now I need to take a shower. Come wash my hair?”
Linc stares at me with a strange mix of hope and says, “You sure?”
I get up and offer him my hand. He looks at it like I’m about to vanish into thin air. “Linc. You just told me that you’re ready to get over your deepest fear and want to have little baby Lincs with me. The least I can do is let you into the worst and darkest parts of my life.”
He is up off the bed, with my hand in his, practically dragging me into the bathroom before I can change my mind.
“Plus, you did promise tacos and sex for the rest of my life.”
“Absolutely. I’m boots on the ground, Kennedy. Ready whenever you are.”
Linc kisses me, his lips pressing against mine in the silent promise of forever, and he single-handedly chases away all of my nightmares.
* * *
Next: No Sweet Goodbyes