Chapter 16 #2
‘Yes,’ I say with absolute confidence. ‘I don’t love her any more and I definitely don’t want to get back together with her.’
She blinks rapidly at me. ‘Oh. Right.’ There are tears forming in her eyes and she turns away from me as if she’s trying to get her emotions under control.
I turn away too, to give her a moment, and we both stare ahead of us, towards the russet-coloured maple trees in the distance.
‘How are you feeling about splitting with Adrian now?’ I ask tentatively, after a tense moment of silence.
‘Much better,’ she says, shooting me a smile.
‘I’ve come to realise that we weren’t really that well suited.
Not in the way I thought we were. Looking back, after having some space from it, I think we’d just got too comfortable with each other.
I’ve always thought it would be great to marry your best friend because you’d never argue, never have those roller-coaster of emotions that can be so draining.
Life would be peaceful and calm. But the truth is, there wasn’t enough spark in our relationship to keep it alive.
It was fizzling. Had been for a while. We didn’t surprise or inspire each other and maybe you actually need that in a long-term relationship.
To always be growing and evolving – alongside each other.
And maybe arguments are good because they shake up the status quo and make you reassess how you feel about the other person and the direction you’re both heading in. ’
‘And they can be hot,’ I joke, flashing her a grin.
I can tell she’s trying not to smile at that, but loses her fight. ‘Trust you to say that,’ she murmurs, rolling her eyes at me in mock antipathy.
I wave my hand at her in apology. ‘Sorry, I interrupted.’
She lets out a breath. ‘Anyway, in conclusion, I think we’d been set on a course neither of us wanted to change because of the emotional work it would have taken. It was just easier to stay together at the time.’ She screws up her nose.
‘But, when it came down to it, he was more willing to face the fact we weren’t really that good together after all,’ she adds. ‘And then do something about it. I should probably be grateful to him for that. He’s saved us both a lot of angst and a potentially stressful and expensive divorce.’
‘Good of him,’ I joke, though I actually mean that. Now he’s out of the way I’ve got a fighting chance of getting her back.
She links her fingers together in her lap. ‘The time I spent with you was great for forcing me to take stock and really think about what it is I want from life. You’ve always challenged me like that. Pushed my buttons and knocked me off course.’
‘Well, like I say, if you fancy a new challenge, I’d love it if you’d consider helping me run my foundation. It could be alongside your current job if you decided you wanted to stay there.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yep.’
‘Wow, I don’t know what to say.’
‘Say yes.’
Turning away again, she stares out at the pond.
‘Look, I really appreciate the offer. It’s an amazing opportunity, seriously.
But I have to be honest. I’m not sure I could work with you every day as a colleague and a friend because—’ She swallows, then forces herself to finish the sentence.
‘Because I’ve realised that I’m in love with you and it would be too hard to see you all the time and not be able to show you that. ’
I let out a laugh of relief, and she turns to face me with confusion in her eyes.
‘Jesus, Dasher. For fuck’s sake, of course we’ll be together as a couple,’ I say, taking her trembling hands and gripping them hard.
‘I love you too. Isn’t that obvious? I thought it was obvious.
What do you want me to do? Get down on one knee?
Because I will if that’s what you want. But if you’d rather partner up and see how it goes first, that’s good for me too.
As long as I get to be with you. That’s all I care about. ’
Her expression is one of relief now and, I’m relieved to see, happiness. ‘You love me?’
‘Of course I do. The feelings I had for you while we were together at uni never went away and they’ve only developed and intensified since we bumped into each other again.
I think it was destiny that we both ended up in Kyoto together when we did.
When we needed each other most. And we’d be crazy not to make the most of that luck.
We’ll just be picking up from where we left off five years ago.
Adrian and Katya were just short diversions for a while. ’
She raises one eyebrow at me. ‘Not exactly short in my case.’
‘Okay, fine. But you’re missing my point.’
‘I’m not. I’m just being argumentative, because it’s hot,’ she says, and gives me a slow wink.
Releasing her hands, I move them to cup her face instead and pull her towards me, kissing her firmly on the mouth.
She kisses me back and I bask in the familiar taste, scent, feel of her. This is exactly what I want. I’m absolutely certain about that.
‘I’m not letting you go again. I’m not making that mistake a second time. We’re clearly meant to be together,’ I murmur against her lips.
Pulling back, I look her in the eyes. ‘Fate threw us back together for a reason. Even if you think that’s all bullshit, it doesn’t matter.
We’re back in each other’s lives now and I want it to stay that way.
I love you. It feels right when I’m with you.
It always did. I was just too young and green to trust that feeling before. ’
‘Like a baby lime,’ she says with a grin.
Then she leans forward this time and presses her mouth to mine, sending a shiver of pleasure straight up my spine.
‘Look, I understand why you freaked out and decided you couldn’t trust me,’ I say when we break apart again, ‘because of what happened with Adrian, but know this. I won’t be looking for someone better because there is no-one better than you.
Believe me, I’ve been looking for five years and was about to settle for someone less, but I’m so fucking glad that didn’t work out.
You’re the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with.
And I’d love it if you gave me the chance to prove it to you. ’
‘It might go wrong again,’ she says in a gentle warning tone.
I shrug. ‘Yeah. It might. No crystal balls, right? It’ll be a work in progress.’ I sit back, then reach over and take her hand in mine, linking our fingers together. ‘I’m willing to put the work in. How about you?’
Nodding, she squeezes my hand.
‘Yep. Ready and willing.’
My whole body floods with happiness at the lit-up expression on her face. ‘Okay then. How about I ask you out on a proper date. We can start again from scratch.’
‘I’d love to go on a date with you,’ she says with a smile. ‘I’ve got a feeling we’re going to get on very well.’
‘Great. Fancy going out for sashimi and adventures? I’ve been craving both since I last saw you in Kyoto.’
Her eyes light up. ‘That sounds perfect.’