Chapter Forty
Her cell phone informed her that it was 07.13 Eastern Daylight Saving Time, Saturday August 10th in Hamilton Drives, CT, USA. The weather was sunny and already 72 degrees.
She had slept for more than twelve hours. She lay under the single sheet that was all she needed in the summer and blinked at the sun edging the blinds, trying to orientate herself. She was in her childhood room at home, pearly pink and ivory, and the blind rattled in the morning breeze in the old familiar way. She swallowed. Her phone might as well have said, You’re back where you started. Now what?
She closed her eyes again.
The next time she woke it was nearly ten and the household was alive. She could hear her father and Karen laughing downstairs and Zach’s voice from his room, probably on the phone.
She’d hardly noticed last night that her old bathroom had been made into a wet room, with a big chrome showerhead and a crystal clear screen. Now she stood beneath the deluge and let the water rouse her, before dressing in shorts and a T from the bags Zach had brought up for her, and drying her hair. She hadn’t answered the question Now what? yet but figured it could be left until after the weekend. Then she’d have to decide, and maybe do something sensible like get all her belongings in one place—
She thought of the red suitcase she’d left in Martyn’s apartment and turned her mind swiftly away. There was nothing there that couldn’t be replaced if . . . If he didn’t contact her when he saw all his sites restored to perfection.
Sometime today she was going to have to get all superhero and turn her UK phone on and see if he’d been trying to call. And hope it wasn’t to say, ‘Let’s just call it quits.’ That would plunge her into an abyss of grief she wasn’t yet strong enough to plumb. Her heart already felt leaden enough to drag her to the edge.
Whatever happened with Martyn, she would call Ru, soon, maybe tomorrow. She would call Ru and keep calling him, because she was a continuing thread in his life, whereas, in Martyn’s, she could be no more than a loose end. Maybe one he wished he could unpick.
She shook away those thoughts and concentrated on her hair, braiding it to one side of her neck and capturing it in a white band.
Pasting on a serene expression, she ran downstairs to join her family. Judging from the sympathetic looks, the serene expression wasn’t fooling anyone, but at least, even if they were bursting to, nobody said, ‘So how are you?’ or ‘What went wrong?’, which would be guaranteed to melt her to tears.
In a kitchen that went with someone who liked to cook — a range, copper pans and lethal looking knives — Karen, her blonde hair loose around her head, poured Honor coffee.
Jessamine had ready one of her customary massive hugs. ‘How about a movie, later? We might even let Zachary come with us, seeing as he’s home till he goes back to college.’
‘Gee, thanks, a chick flick,’ mocked Zach, tugging Honor’s hair.
She ruffled his, which he’d let grow long in front, in return. ‘So how was Texas?’
Zach grinned from behind the hair she’d dragged over his eye, reminding her of Ru. ‘Hot. I fit right in.’
Garvin held a file as if he’d meant to work, looking over his reading glasses. ‘It’s good to see you kids all together.’ Which produced a ball-sized lump in Honor’s throat and she had to blow her nose.
Karen shook chicken breasts in a bag full of something to season them and then put them in the refrigerator, taking out salad to wash.
‘Looks to me like a barbecue,’ Honor commented, joining her at the sink, as she always would have.
Karen smiled. ‘I thought it would be nice, while everybody’s together. It’s too hot to cook in here. But I can do this if you want to talk to your dad — Oh, there’s the door.’ She slipped away up the hall.
Honor took over the washing of the salad, half-listening to Zach’s account of his internship with a global engineering concern, showing him that he had a whole lot to learn.
From the hallway, she heard Karen say, ‘Hi there!’ as she might to a stranger.
A deep rumble answered her and Honor’s hands stilled.
Then Jessamine looked up through the kitchen doorway and said, ‘Whoa!’ under her breath, as Karen stepped back in, her voice the same mix of curiosity and admonishment with which she used to greet one of Honor’s new dates. ‘Honor, you have a visitor.’
And Martyn stepped in behind her, tall and impressive in black jeans and white shirt, a holdall in his hand.
Zach rose and so did Garvin. Martyn, usually so much the courteous Englishman, ready with his handshakes and his slow smile, didn’t take his eyes off Honor to acknowledge that there was any other person in the room.
So everyone turned to look at Honor, standing at the sink with her cupped hands full of cold, wet lettuce.
She heard Jessie say, ‘Aren’t you going to introduce us, Honor?’
But her tongue had stuck to the roof of her mouth. All she could do was stand there with water dripping from her wrists and on to her bare feet and the floor, her gaze pinned helplessly to Martyn’s dark eyes. Vaguely, she heard her dad’s voice. ‘Honor? Is this someone you want to see?’
Helplessly, she nodded. So much! She wanted to see him so much.
After a moment, Garvin said, ‘I think maybe now’s a good time to get that barbecue fired up, Karen. But we’ll be just outside, Honor. Just outside.’
Honor nodded again.
And things happened; the refrigerator opened and closed, as did drawers and cupboards. Plates clattered, voices murmured and the lettuce was coaxed from her hands. Then she and Martyn were the only ones left, eyes locked across the room.
‘I already made him change it all back,’ she blurted. ‘Every site. You don’t have to find a way to make him do anything. You just have to change all your passwords and—’
Surprise shot across his face. ‘But I sorted everything out the same evening. All the porn is gone and the passwords have been changed. I didn’t come for him. I came for you. It’s only taken me this long to get here because clients were furious at some of the claims about their products on my social networking sites. I had to stop off and see their press officers and Ace set up a video thing. I—’ He paused. ‘I decided to tell them I had no idea of the identity of the hacker. It seemed safest. For you.’
A wave of heat began at her ankles and surged up her body. ‘ You sorted everything out? Why, that bastard, he made me—’
‘What?’ Softly, as if fearing the answer.
She gulped. ‘He made me promise that if he undid all the harm he’d done to you, I’d give our marriage another try.’
Martyn’s face drained of all colour. She’d read the phrase in books, but she didn’t think she’d ever witnessed it close up, a face turning perfectly white. He pulled out a kitchen chair and, slowly, as if he were ill, folded into it, his holdall dropping to the floor. ‘Tell me you didn’t agree.’
‘Truthfully? I did agree,’ she acknowledged. ‘But then I, um . . . wriggled my way out of it. We’re going to get a divorce.’
And, like flicking a switch, his normal colour flooded back to his cheeks. His eyes even began to smile. ‘What did you beat him up with?’
She laughed, her heart lightening, as if it might actually have cause to float up from the pit of her stomach where it had languished for the past couple of days. ‘I didn’t—! OK, there was ice cream involved. And an ugly, manipulative, unfair threat. Because I’m not worried about what’s safe. I’ll give him up to the cops, if I have to.’
He rose; came closer. Until she was looking up into his face. ‘I love the way you fight for things,’ he said. ‘But I don’t ever again want you to fight with me. I’m sorry. Sorry I left you to run down Stef on your own. I just saw what had happened and I freaked — but I shouldn’t have blamed it on Ru or you. It was anger talking and I have to learn to shut it up.
‘We can live here if you don’t want to live in England. Ace can get me work in New York and I’ll force my way through the red tape and get the right permits. Just don’t run away from me again, no matter how much of a fuck I turn into when I lose my temper.’ His eyes were sombre and black.
‘I didn’t run away,’ she protested. ‘I went after Stef, to make him undo what he’d done.’
‘But you weren’t coming back.’ It wasn’t a question. ‘I went into the bungalow. You didn’t leave anything to come back to.’
She blinked as a hot tear formed at the corner of her eye. ‘I was the cause of so much trouble—’
Suddenly, he was close enough to gather her gently up against his warm, hard body. ‘Stef caused the trouble. I knew that. I’m sorry.’ He tasted like mints as his mouth touched hers and it made her glad to imagine him coming straight off the plane, buying Life Savers at the airport as he set out to find her.
‘It really is over, with Stef,’ she whispered, as a flame of joy licked through her and she felt her feet leave the floor.
‘I’m almost disappointed not to have to fight him,’ he whispered into her hair. ‘When you’d gone, I couldn’t believe that I’d let you. I came here all fired up to kick and claw for you. I love you.’
‘I — I love you,’ she gulped. ‘But—’
‘But that’s all that matters. We can work on the details.’
And he held her harder, as if he was ready to turn and run with her if she disagreed. She didn’t disagree.
‘I guess I’d better introduce you to my family,’ she breathed, eventually. ‘They must be wondering what the hell is going on.’
‘OK.’ He kissed her eyelids, her lips, her cheekbones and her throat.
‘So you’d better take your hands off my ass.’
He touched his tongue tip to the corner of her mouth. His hands stayed put as he began to carry her. ‘Where are we going?’ she gasped, as they moved smoothly over the floorboards, past the coat stand, past the bureau. Not outdoors, where her family were no doubt waiting.
‘Upstairs. Which is your room?’
Her breath left her in a giant wave of wanting as they began up the staircase. ‘What? In my room ? With my family right outside?
‘OK.’ He lowered her on to a step, dropping his mouth to her neck, her breasts, his hands arranging her so that he could nestle right in. ‘The staircase is fine. I can get inventive on a staircase.’ His mouth skimmed lower.
She let her head fall back. ‘I guess my family is pretty understanding.’