5. Emma
Dom vanishes into thin air. Again. There’s no way to describe what happens.
One minute, I’m holding Bee in my arms while she cries and I do my best to hold it together so that I can tell her about her parents. And the next, I look up to find nothing but my backyard.
After kissing me like the world is ending, he runs away.
Coward.
He’s a cowardly ninja and I’m going to kick him in the shins.
Bee ends up falling asleep in my arms on the couch and I get maybe four hours of sleep before I have to wake up the next morning.
That’s also probably a high estimate, because I wake up every hour or so hoping that Dom will reappear and tell me I’m wrong.
“Shit,” I groan as I walk into the kitchen to find Alta and Bee at the stove together, making what smells like French toast.
“You’re awake.” Alta smiles chipperly. “Mija here, Bee, decided that she wanted to help me make breakfast for you. But then we got hungry too, and now we’re making a feast. Have you seen my son?” Her eyes flash, and I can’t help the snort that comes in response.
“No.” I pull a coffee cup from the cupboard and put it under my Keurig, ready to go for the day and needing caffeine to get through the chaos that is about to fly my way. “He left.”
Alta’s shoulders slump slightly before she turns back to Bee. “Okay, mija. These are ready to go to the table. I think we have enough. Don’t you?”
Bee, who stares at Alta like she is the best thing that’s ever happened to her, nods eagerly. “Yes, ma’am.”
Alta smiles broadly as Bee takes the plate from the counter with both hands and carefully carries it to the table, where there are four plates set out.
“That boy will regret not having breakfast.” Alta’s eyebrows hit her hairline. “Remember what I said. He’ll fight tooth and nail, but he won’t ever lie. Not about what he feels. Not to you.”
“Okay,” I tell her because honestly I don’t have the energy to pretend that I don’t understand exactly what she’s saying. “I’ve got to go to work.” I look down at the pajamas that I’m still wearing. Technically, they aren’t pajamas. They’re the same leggings and oversized shirt that I put on after Bee came over last night. “I know Bria said that she’d be here this morning, but are you going to be okay, Bee?”
Bee stares at me like I haven’t just told her that her parents died the night before. Instead, she forks up a piece of breakfast and shoves it into her mouth, not caring that a stream of syrup hits her chin and drips back onto her plate.
“Yeah,” she mumbles around her food. “I’m fine. Mrs. Ortiz made food. Everything else… it’s not going to change.”
I push away from the counter, clutching the cup of coffee I have in my hand like the life support that it is.
“Alright, I’m gonna change and go. You can leave the house unlocked,” I tell Alta. “Thank you so much for last night.”
“It’s nothing.” Alta waves me off. “We’ve had an empty nest since Violet graduated.”
“Doesn’t she still live with you?” I point out with a laugh. “That hardly leaves you an empty nest.”
Alta shakes her hand at me. “Go away. You’re annoying like a little fly. Go buzz somewhere else. We’re busy.”
Just like that, they both dismiss me to return to their own little world. One where Alta distracts Bee from reality long enough for me to change and get out of the house. One where Bee doesn’t have to think about her dead parents or the fact that she won’t see her mother ever again.
Heading into downtown Birch Harbor should have set my nerves on edge. It is my first day, and I’ve made huge steps to change my life—finally doing what I’ve set my mind to years ago. I should be nervous. I should be a wreck. But I’m not. Instead, I’m focused on the kiss.
Dom and his stupid kiss, giving me a glimpse of what we could have and then walking away before anything else can happen.
It’s bullshit, and I’m not going to let him get away with it.
Who just kisses someone like that and leaves?
An asshole, that’s who.
At least I’ll have the upper hand when I finally corner him again. Because if he wants to be stubborn, I can be too. And he doesn’t stand a chance against me. I had two brothers who taught me how to fight for every single thing in my life.
The parking lot when I roll in is full, but that doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Honestly, seeing my brother’s truck in the crowded lot offers a huge sense of relief.
Walking in, I think about everything I’ve done. All the work I’ve put into this. And when my new boss smiles at me from behind the plexiglass window, I almost throw up from the nerves.
“Come on in, Emma.” He buzzes me into the hallway, and I follow him into my new life, hoping that I’m not too green in the face. “I’ve been waiting for you so that I could escort you in. It’s a big day.”
Photos on the wall catch my attention, and I pause to stare at Linc’s familiar face. He’s standing right next to Remy, wearing a familiar dress uniform.
“You know that’s going to be you in a few months.” Chief Townsend turns around and glances at the photo of my brother’s graduating class. “We’ll talk about it more in my office, but I’m glad you’re joining us.”
“Me too.” I smile through the queasy feeling.
He turns and walks into the bullpen toward his office, and even though I’ve been there before, I still stare wide-eyed at all the officers just milling about.
Mainly my brother and Remy, who both clap when they see me.
“Finally!” Linc whistles. “Glad to see you didn’t chicken out.”
It’s hard to keep a secret from my big brother, and even though I never told him what I was doing… it didn’t take him being a genius to figure it out.
“What’s going on?” Dom walks out of an office in the hall and freezes when he sees me. “What are you doing here?” He turns to Linc, an eyebrow raised that reminds me of the look Alta had on her face in my kitchen. “What’s she doing here?”
Linc makes a face. The kind that a little kid would make when they’re keeping a secret, and then he looks constipated.
I don’t bother answering Dom.
He deserves to be blindsided by this.
If he stayed the night before and talked to me instead of running away after the kiss, I may have said something. But it’s not like it’s some huge secret. Instead, I follow Chief Townsend into his office, and one of the other cops chimes in before I can shut the door completely.
“The new girl is hot,” echoes into the room followed by the sharp sound of someone being hit.
“That’s my sister, you peasant.” Linc’s retort has me laughing, and the rest of my unease at starting the new job fades.
Chief Townsend sits behind his desk, where I see the fine lines around his eyes and the streaks of gray in his short hair. “Tell me something, Emma.”
I glance at the chair across from his desk before deciding to stand with my hands clasped behind my back. “What, sir?”
“Why are you going to be a police officer? I know in your interviews you gave the standard answers. Wanting to help, wanting to contribute to your community. But I know you. I’ve known your family my entire life. Your father and I went to school and served together. There’s something more, and if you’re going to have a loaded weapon in my city, I want to know exactly why. The real reason.”
His words hit me like a freight train. Everyone—literally everyone—accepts the fact that I want to serve somehow like the rest of my family, without diving any deeper. They just take me at face value. Suddenly, I regret my choice to stand because my knees shake just a little bit.
I’m not going to lie to him. Not even a lie by omission.
Staring at my father’s best friend, I have to fight past the ash in my mouth to tell him something I haven’t told a single other person in my life.
“Sir,” I croak. I clear my throat and then find it a little bit easier to breathe. “Danny. My brother. He’s the reason.” My sentences are short and clipped, and I feel like an idiot because of course the chief knows my brother.
When the man across the desk crosses his hands and the smile drops from his face, I know that it isn’t enough. That he needs all of it.
“Before he died, Danny and I talked about what I was going to do. If I was going to join the military like they did. What I could do. I wanted to join the Marine Corps. I thought he’d tell me I was crazy. That I wouldn’t be able to do it. Instead, he told me to go for it. He told me I could do it.” I shuffle from foot to foot and try not to burst into tears. “That I could do anything. And then he died. When they brought him home—” I sniff. “When they brought him home, I saw the pain that it put my mom through. I saw how it hurt. How his death changed everyone around me in ways that I can see and explain and ways that I’ll never really understand. I thought about our conversation, and how he told me to do it. And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t ask my mom or dad to go through that pain again. So I shifted. I want to be the best. The very best that I can be. I do want to make a difference, I always have. I want to serve my community. I told the truth during my interview and every step of the way. I’ve been honest and open. But this… it’s not a dream or some random thought. It’s not something that I’m doing to mark a line on a list of things to do. I’m going to do it because I want to, have always wanted to, just like my brother. Just like my family always has. I need to.”
I don’t know what I expect from Alex Townsend in that moment. From the look on his face, I can’t tell if he’s Chief Townsend, or if he’s acting as the pseudo-uncle who has come to every party and family gathering we have had through the years. And that’s the most terrifying thing of all. Because he has the power to keep me from doing this. He can keep me from my dream, and I don’t know what I’ll do if he does that.
“Well, I got nothing, Emma. I didn’t think that was going to come out of your mouth.” He picks up a pen from his desk and spins it around with his fingers. “I thought you’d give me a line about wanting to make a difference again. About wanting to be a good cop. The same line that I get over and over again when I ask our new hires. If you’d given me that line, I might be able to look your father in the eye when I told him that it didn’t work out. But you didn’t. You’re in.” He taps the pen against the desk now. “Here’s the timeline. Two weeks here, followed by eighteen weeks at the Maine Criminal Justice Academy.”
I nod, silently calculating the times and what it will mean as far as graduation dates.
“Why two weeks?” I ask.
“You’re lucky it’s only two weeks, to be honest,” he tells me. “There happened to be a dropout for this BLETP. You’re taking the spot. Otherwise, you’d be waiting six months for another shot at it.” It sounds like he said blempy, but that can’t be right.
“Oh.” I bite my lip to keep from interrupting again. “The BLETP is the Basic Law Enforcement Training Program, right?”
He answers my question with a nod, then goes on with his thought. “You’ve already filled out all your forms, and your uniforms are waiting in the locker room.” The pen taps against his desk again in a steady rhythm, and he stares at me with his lips pressed tightly together. “I never thought I’d see the day that you came on as a police officer, Emma. We all thought you’d go to art school or run away to the other side of the country to start a new life. Away from Birch Harbor.” Chief Townsend scratches his nose. “Like I said, I’m glad you’re here.”
Unable to help myself, I smile. “You know, I never really liked art class. I only did it because it made Linc and Danny mad that they had to pick me up after school so my projects didn’t get ruined on the bus.”
With a chuckle, he picks up his phone and types out a message. “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me as much as it probably should. And I’m impressed that you were able to wrap those brothers around your finger.”
A knock on his door a few seconds later, followed by the door opening, has me moving to the side.
Amie Lee, the officer who’d given me a ride-along and answered every random question I had for months while I prepared to apply, walks in with a smile on her face.
“Congratulations,” she says. “But the hard part is still coming. Waterville and the MCJA is no joke.” She winked at me. “You’ve got this. I’m so proud of you, Emma.”
I think she’ll close the door behind her when she walks in, but she isn’t the only one to come into the chief’s office.
When Dom steps inside right after her, I almost take a step back in surprise. There’s not even anywhere for me to run to, because he’s blocking the path to the door.
This isn’t how I wanted our first interaction at work to go.
There are too many people around to act as witnesses.
I can’t very well kick him in front of the chief of police.
And to top it off, Dom’s staring at me like I’m nothing.
He isn’t smiling.
He isn’t anything.
Just like every other time I’ve seen him over the last few years, besides when he was asking me to dance in my backyard and giving me the best kiss of my life, his face is blank. He watches me like I’m no one, but there’s nothing I can do about it.
Nothing I want to do about it.
At least, not in front of the boss and another cop who isn’t my brother.
Linc wouldn’t care if I hit Dom. He’d probably laugh and record it.
But Amie wouldn’t think it was funny. Probably.
“Amie’s going to show you around,” Chief Townsend says, drawing my attention back to him. “Then you’re going to head out with your training officer.”
“Great,” I say with a smile. “I can’t wait to learn everything Officer Lee has to teach me before I head to the academy.”
“Oh no,” Chief Townsend corrects. “I’m sorry for the mix-up. Amie isn’t going to be your TO.”
“What?” three voices all say in unison.
The entire time I’ve been working toward this, Amie and I have talked about how much I can learn from another female perspective in law enforcement. I think back to the countless text conversations, wondering if maybe I misread something, just got my hopes up, or am confused.
I glance over to see both Amie and Dom just as surprised as I am by what my new boss said. And honestly, I’m glad they’re confused, too.
“Dom is going to be your training officer, not Amie.”
Shit on a shingle.
There’s no way in hell I’m going to survive being in that close of a proximity to him.
We’re either going to kill each other or my libido is going to detonate like a bomb.
“No chance in hell.” He takes the words straight out of my mouth.
But by the look on the chief’s face, I don’t think either of us has a choice in this.