24. Emma
I think Dom was lying to me again. After I get home, I take a shower and shave, because I’m not an idiot and I won’t be caught dead with over a month’s worth of hair on my legs.
Once I’ve changed into pajamas and brushed out my hair, I go through the mail and find every single letter that had been delivered while he was overseas. Then I just sit on my couch and wait for Dom to show up.
An hour later, he still isn’t there and I’m ready to turn off the lights and just go to bed, because obviously I’ve been mistaken.
And he lied to me again.
I look at my phone, thinking that he would have called or at least sent me a text if something delayed him and am hit with a wave of anxiety.
It’s not like I was actively trying to forget about him while he was gone. I had a job to do, and training. And I’m not the bad person in this situation. Hell, he came home and I gave him the chance to explain himself, which is honestly more than he deserves.
He lied to me, and he did it knowing how Danny died.
“What are you doing in the dark?”
I scream and fall off the couch when he steps out of the dark hallway. “What the shit, Dom?”
He reaches out and offers me a hand up. “I knocked on the door. Your bell wasn’t working. When you didn’t answer, I went to the back door.”
His explanation doesn’t do anything to erase the fact that I’m about to have a heart attack.
“You suck,” I say between deep breaths. “You freaking suck.”
“Yeah,” Dom admits. “I do. But I’m here, and I told you before you walked away… I’m going to do whatever it takes to fix what I broke.”
The letter he handed me in the parking lot itches in my palm, begging to be opened.
“You don’t need to read any of them,” he says quietly, seeing where my focus is. “If you don’t want to, I wouldn’t blame you.”
“I’m so mad at you.” I purse my lips, not meaning to have said that. “I didn’t mean to say that, but it’s true. I’m so mad it was hard to concentrate during the academy. But I was worried about you, too. I didn’t want to read them, but I wanted to know you were safe. I’m glad you sent them because of that.”
“Emma.” He reaches over and grabs my hand gently. “I should have told you from the first kiss that I was deploying. I know that. There’s no excuse. Nothing I can say will take away that sting.”
When he lets go of my hand again a moment later, I stare at the space where his hand had just been, wishing he hadn’t let go.
Stupid.
Why does this man make me so stupid?
Before I lose my courage, I start to unfold the piece of paper that is so important to Dom.
“Before you read it…” He stops me when I see my name written across the top. “No matter what you decide, I’ll respect it. If you tell me to leave and that you never want to talk to me again, I’ll understand. I don’t know if I could actually make that happen, since we’ll work at the same department, but I’ll do my best.” I can hear the silent plea left hanging. The way he wants me to understand. To give him a chance.
Rather than say anything else, I start to read the hastily scrawled letter.
Dear Emma,
I’m coming home. Those are the hardest words I’ve ever written, and it’s got nothing to do with the mission or the deployment. It’s hard because I’m coming home to you.
If I walk into the building and see you, I’m going to want to kiss you. I’m going to want to show up at your house at three in the morning in the pouring rain just to make you smile. I’m going to be a few minutes away instead of thousands of miles, and I don’t know if you want me the way I want you.
I’m coming home to you, and I don’t know if you love me.
That’s why these words are the hardest that I’ve ever written.
I’m coming home… and I don’t know what I’m going to find when I get there.
Will you forgive me?
Will you love me?
Will you tell me to go fuck myself?
I would write you a letter every single day for the rest of our lives, if it meant that I’d get to see you smile. I know I lied. I know I should have told you the truth from the start.
If you’ll have me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making you happy.
I’m coming home for you.
Dominic.
“I wanted to get my mother’s ring for you,” Dom says quietly when I look up from the letter. “That’s why I was later than I wanted to be. She read me the riot act, and then she chased me around the house and tried to beat my ass with her chancla.” He wipes his forehead. “I want to give you something grand and romantic and beautiful if you’ll just give me another chance.”
My heart starts beating erratically, making it hard to take a breath, but I don’t interrupt him. Why don’t I interrupt him?
He’s talking crazy.
“I don’t like to talk, Emma. I hate it more than anything else in the entire world. From the minute I started talking to you, I couldn’t stop. I still can’t.” He swallows loudly. “I love you. Have from the moment you flipped up your skirt and offered me your booze. You’re perfect and fierce and everything I’ve ever thought about in my life. And if you’ll marry me, Mama will give you the ring I want you to wear for the rest of your life.” He flushes and offers me a half smile. “She wouldn’t give it to me, though, because she said she’s still mad at me for taking you away from them.”
“Dom.” I hesitate. My heart still races in my chest, and I can feel the blood pumping through my veins, pounding behind my eyes. “You left me.”
How can he sit here and ask me this?
How can he be perfect when he left?
“I know, Emma.” He pulls my hand into his. “I know. And I know I’m an idiot for asking. But I’m not going to hide anything from you anymore. You don’t have to give me an answer right now. Or ever, if you don’t want to. But I’m here. And you’re it for me.”
“What?” He’s lost his fuckin’ mind is what has happened.
I must have given him a concussion when we were fighting.
“Emma, I love you.” He repeats his earlier confession. “I’m not going to just stop because I overwhelmed you right off the bat when I came home. I didn’t plan on asking. Not right away. I wanted to do it the right way. But with you, I’m never doing things the way they should be. I’m here. And I’m going to do whatever I need to in order to prove that I’m not going anywhere.” He lifts my hand and kisses my fingers. “But you need to know that I’m in this for the long haul and that when you’re ready, I will be putting my ring on your finger.”
Panty-melting.
The man has words that are absolutely panty-melting.
“I’m going to get naked now,” I tell him bluntly. “You can get naked with me, or you can leave. Those are the only two things we’re going to discuss.” Because I don’t have the brainpower to talk about anything else, and honestly, I’m a little bit concerned that he’s going to wake up in the morning and regret his declaration.
Dom doesn’t give me a verbal answer. His eyes are pools of fire, devouring everything in their path as he watches me for a few heavy seconds.
He gets up, taking me with him, and then he tosses me over his shoulder just like he did the night in the cemetery that feels like a different lifetime.
“Good plan,” he mutters.
I snicker while he carries me through the house to my bedroom, laughing out loud when he kicks my bedroom door closed and drops me on the bed in the same breath.
“Off,” he orders while stripping out of his own clothes. “It’s been a hundred and thirty days since I’ve had you, Emma.”
I pause with my shirt almost all the way off my head and catch my breath when Dom rips it the rest of the way off.
“You know how many days it’s been?”
He nods, staring down at my body with a feral gleam in his eyes. “I do. Just like I know it’s been over three thousand hours. I told you. I know where I went wrong, down to the minute, and I’m not going to make that mistake again.”
Dom kisses me, making it impossible to ask him anything else, and I let him. I’ve gone the same amount of time without him, and I crave the way my body responds to him.
Only him.
When he lets go and pushes me back onto the bed, I land on my pillow and laugh. His fingers splay over my thigh, moving up until he reaches my core. “Mine.”
I can’t give him the intensity that he’s giving me. Not yet. “Now, Dom.”
Nothing else exists when he moves over my body. His beard tickles my skin just before his lips kiss a path between my neck and my ear.
“I can take it slow,” he whispers against my skin. “I can give you anything you want. Tell me what you want, Emma.”
“I want everything.” Dom’s hard length slides into me in the next breath. “All of it.” I’m gasping at the way he fills my body.
He gives me everything, not wasting a single moment. And then he gives me more when I think I can’t take it. Every move and thrust brings me close to the edge and closer to him.
Dom kisses me, pausing his movements so that he can lay claim to my lips. Our bodies collide in the same brutal way they did when we fought, two pieces of a broken puzzle that fit perfectly together.
When stars dance in front of my eyes, I let go and embrace the way my body arches off the bed, only for Dom’s arms to wrap around me and hold me against him. Until my body is limp with satisfaction, and I’m leaning back for him to let me go.
Dom follows me down, his mouth seeking mine in the darkness.
“Fucking perfect.”
When he carries my aching body into the shower for round two sometime later, I go with a smile.
He doesn’t push for an answer or demand that I tell him I’ll marry him. Instead, he shows me with his body that he isn’t going to let me go. That he’s holding on while he can.
And between the moments of connection, when he’s holding me in his arms, I can feel the tension leaving my limbs slowly.
“Ask me again when you’re done with the Reserves,” I tell him later when he wraps me in his arms after a slew of lazy kisses. “I won’t ask you to choose, but I can’t go through another deployment.”
I’m so caught up in the warmth of his embrace and the promise that I’m making that I don’t realize he freezes around me.
Not until my bedroom door creaks open and a bullet hits the wall above my bed.